<Knock Knock>
‘Caller started, eyes wide with surprise, before hurrying to the invisible, magical portal that connected the mini-reality she lived in to Equestria, and that someone was somehow knocking on.
Opening the portal, the she found herself facing … Derpy Hooves, the mailmare, “Hi! I have a letter for a ‘Ms. HellCaller’, if you would just sign right here ….”
“How in Nine Hells did you do that?” demanded ‘Caller.
“Do what?”
“Knock on portal!”
“Well, how else am I supposed to deliver your mail?” Derpy replied in confusion, “Speaking of which, you might want to consider getting a postal box in Ponyville, like Miss Trixie did.”
“So, you knocked on a portal that has no physical existence, so you could deliver mail?!”
“Well, yes, as the Postal Service motto says; ‘Neither snow nor rain nor Chaos itself shall stay these messengers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Do not ask us about tar pits, black dogs with flaming eyebrows or big green things with teeth.’ Actually,” Derpy leaned forward confidentially, “Delivering to Discord is much worse, sometimes it takes months, while other times we get back before we’ve even left, and it gives the accounting department fits. Anyway, here’s your mail, have a nice day!”
Staring after the cheerfully whistling mailmare, the demoness finally closed the portal and turned her attention to the letter in her hands, only to be interrupted by her apprentice wandering in, “What’s that?”
“Someone sent me a letter,” ‘Caller replied.
Trixie (the Great and Powerful) frowned, “How did it get delivered? We’re in a pocket dimension.”
“Mailmare, Derpy, she … knocked.”
“Derpy knocked … on a dimensional rift … how does that even work?”
‘Caller could only shake her head, “I don’t have foggiest idea.”
The unicorn started to say something, stopped, started again, and then gave up with a shrug, “So, what is the letter about?”
The demoness started reading, “Vho in Abyss is ‘Captain Shining Armor’ and vhy am I being invited to their vedding vith Princess Cadenza?!”
“Oh, this is going to be absolutely fabulous, darlings!” Rarity declared as she took a seat in the train carriage, “We’re helping Princess Cadenza prepare her wedding!” she squealed, “I could just faint!”
“Please don’t,” Twilight said, earning her a brief glare from the fashionista, “And she prefers to be called ‘Cadance’,” dropping into her own seat, Spike scrambling up beside her, the unicorn glanced worriedly at her friends, “Are you fillies sure you want to do this? Preparing a Royal Wedding is a lot of work.”
“Won’t be no problem, Twi’,” Applejack drawled, “A lot of tha work is already bein’ done anyway, an’ Ah’m sure tha Princesses will have ponies ta help us out with tha rest if’n we need it,” she assured Twilight, as the other mares nodded their agreement.
As the ponies settled into their carriage, the door opened to admit HellCaller, Kragor at her side, dressed in normal clothes for once instead of her armor (much to Rarity’s relief).
“Hello!” Twilight joined her friends in greeting the demoness, “Are you going to Canterlot too?”
“Yes, I’ve been invited to a royal vedding, for some reason ….”
“Oh?” Pinkie bounced in her seat, “You’re going to the Princess’ and Shining’s wedding? That’s great! We’re helping set it up!”
“What is Trixie going to do while you’re gone?” Spike asked, “Aren’t you training her?”
“Eh, she could use some leave anyway,” ‘Caller shrugged, “I think she said something about putting on another show vhile I vas gone?”
“Oh, that’s nice of her,” Fluttershy murmured, “The foals really enjoyed her last magic show.”
Rarity pulled out a copy of the Foal Free Press as the group relaxed, “What is it, darling?” the unicorn asked, noticing the 'Caller’s bemused headshake.
“Your ‘newspaper’,” ‘Caller explained, gesturing at the periodical, “In my Realm, only a vealthy town can afford to have even one printing press and books, even fiction or poetry, are a valuable resource, yet Ponyville’s ‘small town’ library has as many volumes as a city archive might, you have a printing press just for your children’s school and you run off a few hundred issue a veek vith expectation that they vill just be thrown away. I know you value knowledge and lore, at times obsessively so,” she added, smirking at Twilight, “But sometimes I think you don’t realize just how vell off you have it.”
HellCaller soon changed topics, regaling the ponies with the tale of a strange hermit who told long, dreary stories and kept showing up, regardless of how far ‘Caller and her fellows had traveled, or how they had previously escaped his presence, only to resume his narrative at exactly where it had been left off, “If he vasn’t some kind of deity, I’ll eat Applejack’s hat,” she declared.
“Hey, ya leave ma hat out of this!”
Twilight found herself listening to her friends' chatter with only a half ear, distracted as she reflected on ‘Caller’s earlier words; the academic had grown up surrounded by books, she had never really even considered a world without ready access to knowledge and literature … she found the entire concept rather depressing.
“Sure is a big place ya got here, Twi’.”
“I might have gotten lost my first few times in the Palace,” Twilight admitted with a small laugh. Upon their arrival, one of the Palace's many servants had appeared to take HellCaller off to her rooms, while she and Spike had taken it upon themselves to escort their friends, “Now here are the kitchens,” said the academic, waving at the bustling chaos within, “You’ll want to introduce yourself to Chef Ram Sea, Applejack,” she added, indicating the stallion, “But I should warn you, he has a sharp tongue and a short temper. Anyway,” Twilight continued, “The kitchens are a good place to meet ponies, you can run into almost anypony dropping by to grab a snack, even the Princesses.”
“Did somepony ask for a Princess?”
The little group turned to find a smiling pink alicorn had snuck up on them, “Cadance!” Twilight squealed happily, as she and the Princess of Love began to chant and dance, much to the amusement of the watching ponies.
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake … clap your hands and do a little shake!”
“It’s good to see you, ladybug,” Cadance said, wrapping the younger mare in a hug, “And to finally meet your new friends, as well!” she added, turning her smile upon the other ponies.
Once the introductions had been made, Twilight turned back to her old foalsitter, “So, what brings you to the kitchens?”
“Oh, I just need a little pick-me-up after dealing with the wedding preparations all day.”
“That is a desire with which I can fully sympathize,” the group turned to find that Princess Luna had appeared behind them.
“Damn, are all of the alicorns so sneaky?” Dash muttered.
“Maybe they’re all ninja-princesses?” Pinkie whispered back.
Cadance raised an eyebrow at her fellow Princess, “I thought you had almost finished the negotiations with Hollowfaust, Auntie?”
“I hath,” Luna sighed, “Now all that remains is finding an emissary and staff willing to live under the necromancers’ dominion. Nay, that matter is almost settled, wearing as it was, still, I look forward to this evening’s celebration most eagerly,” she added with a smile.
Rarity’s ears immediately pricked up, “Celebration?”
“There is a fete this evening as a celebration of mine and Shining’s wedding,” the young alicorn explained, “We’d both love it if you would all attend.”
The mares’ ears all folded back, and Spike clapped his claws over his own ears with a grimace, as Rarity’s happy squeal tried to shatter the windows.
“Now, aren’t you all grateful that I insisted that you pack your gala dresses?” Rarity asked her friends, a smug little smile curling her lips, as they waited for their turn for the herald to proclaim them to the gathered ponies.
“Ah have ta admit, yer instincts were right on tha bits this time, Rares,” Applejack admitted, “Ah would have felt tha right fool turnin’ up ta this in jus’ ma work clothes.”
“I don’t remember it being this fancy back during the Gala, though,” murmured Fluttershy.
Twilight nodded, still slightly miffed that Spike had somehow managed to get inside without having to deal with formal introductions, “As big an event as the Grand Galloping Gala is, this gathering is essentially part of Shining and Cadance’s official wedding services, even if the actually ceremony won’t be until this weekend,” she explained, “Apparently, you just can’t have a small, quiet, Royal Wedding, no matter how much Shiny and Cadey would have preferred it,” Twilight sighed, “Oh, we’re up next!”
“Presenting, the Bearers of Harmony!” the master of ceremonies announced loudly, causing Fluttershy to flinch back with a small squeak, “Her Ladyship, the Baroness Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic, beloved sister to Captain Shining Armor and Her Highness Princess Cadenza and personal student of Her Highness Princess Celestia! The Lady Applejack, Bearer of Honesty! The Lady Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness! The Lady Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter! The Lady Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty! And the Lady Rarity, Bearer of Generosity!”
Rarity was in her element as she mingled with the various notables, although she made a point of keeping an eye on her friends – while Spike and Twilight had been raised among the Canterlot elite and could probably hold their own, especially as they were happily chatting away with the Princesses and their family, the others might find themselves out of their depths surrounded by the nobility and various movers-and-shakers … well, except for Applejack. Rarity’s lips quirked, ‘Tutored by, indeed family to, the Oranges, probably the preeminent family of Manehatten, and she never lets on that she’s anything more than a simple country flower,’ she mused in fond exasperation, ‘For the Bearer of Honesty, our AJ can be rather sneaky at times.’
A passing page drew her eye back to the master of ceremonies, who was still announcing a last few dignitaries, ‘A last minute guest, perhaps?’ she wondered as the stallion read the note the young colt had given him, before turning back to the room to make the next introduction: “Presenting, her Imperial Majesty, HellCaller, Empress of Kapul-uzg!”
Striding into the hall, the demoness stopped mid-step, her head snapping down as she glared at the soulblade on her belt, “Vhat?” Kragor replied defensively, her voice ringing loudly in the momentary silence, “Vhere ve keeping that a secret?”
‘Caller took a sip from her wine and idly wondered how she had gotten involved in debating morality with some pony aristocratic by the name of Stone Lake, ‘By Seven Heavens do ponies have some silly names,’ she thought, before turning her attention back to the stallion who was currently expounding to her on the value of mercy and repentance, “There are some – many, actually – crimes that cannot be forgiven,” the demoness observed.
“What is more important, that mundane laws are followed or that a soul is rescued from darkness?” countered Stone, “Forgiveness of the repentant should always take precedence over any mere punishment.”
“And vhat good is repentance?” ‘Caller responded, “Does repentance return stolen goods? Does it heal maimed limbs? Rebuild burned homes and businesses? Raise dead?”
“Neither does punishing those who could still be redeemed,” the stallion replied, “Forgiveness offers peace and healing to both parties.”
“No, punishment provides closure and retribution to vronged, and peace of knowing that the one vho injured them vill not be able to do so to any others,” the demoness’ lip curled at such willful naivety, “Nine out of any ten people claiming repentance only regret that they got caught, not vhat they did, and their only desire is to escape their deserved retribution, not to perform some, ultimately meaningless, gesture of atonement,” she fixed a glowing eye on the noble, “And vhat gives you right to be offering forgiveness on behalf of vronged, anyway?”
“There is some truth to what you say,” Stone reluctantly conceded, “Although I’m certain you exaggerate the number of ponies who offer repentance in bad faith. And even if some ponies are irredeemable and merely pretending otherwise, we must still offer compassion to the rest, while also being ready to enact swift justice on those who have no interest in redemption.”
“You’re a damned idealistic fool,” ‘Caller sighed, “And you’ll probably get a lot of other folks needlessly killed, just like other dreamers I’ve known, but at least you aren’t totally credulous.”
“And you are a bloody-minded cynic,” Stone Lake retorted, “You’ve lost your empathy, blinded yourself to the potential of others, and yourself, to become better people, and I pity you for it. Good evening, your Majesty," he turned away pointedly.
The gathered ponies chatted as they drank and munched on hors d’oeuvres, a small quartet playing in the background, as Cadance passed among them with the easy grace that Celestia’s tutoring had drilled into her, ‘The filly from an edge-of-nowhere fishing village becoming a proper Princess,’ she thought with a small smile, ‘Who ever would have believed it?’ Looking around, she spotted HellCaller calmly standing off to one side in parade rest, her scarlet uniform and the heavy blade at her side, as opposed to the small swords worn by Shining and other members of the Guard in attendance, as well as a few nobles, set her apart as much as her exotic, muzzleless, appearance, or the circle of empty space that surrounded her as most of the guests uneasily avoided the strange, foreign empress. ‘I can’t really blame them, even without the knowledge that she is actually a demon, HellCaller is rather intimidating. Still … Auntie Tia’s and Luna’s plan has worked before, and from Twiley’s reports it seems to be working again now.’
As she headed towards the demoness, Rarity joined her, “Come to share a few words with our tartarean guest?” Cadance asked teasingly.
“Why, yes, Princess,” Rarity replied, “While I fully understand a mare’s right to a few secrets, our demonic friend has some questions to answer.”
“She does look a little lonely, doesn’t she? We should give her some company,” the Princess said with an impish smile, “And, please, call me Cadance.”
“Hello Rarity! Hello pink pony-lady princess!”
“Good evening, Kragor, darling,” Rarity replied, smiling down at the soulblade, “Good evening … your Majesty.”
Her pointed words only drew a fanged grin from HellCaller, “I did tell you I held a government position before I retired, I just chose not to elaborate.”
Cadance’s ear twitched, “How do you retire from being Empress?”
“After two hundred years on throne fixing that idiot, Pergor’s, mess, I just declared heir and left,” 'Caller shrugged, “They had a strong economy, military, and population to vork vith, and everyone knew that if they fucked it up again that I’d be back to reclaim throne, and I’d be in a very bad mood vhen I did.”
Both ponies winced, “You’d start a civil war?” the alicorn of love demanded, recently learned details about Nightmare Moon's war with Celestia filling her mind and making Cadance’s words come out harsher than she intended.
For her part, ‘Caller seemed indifferent to the princess’s tone, “I’ve already fought one civil var to save my country from incompetent and mad ruler,” she replied, “And I’ll do it again if I have to, besides, I rather hope that I’d use my Right of Challenge to deal vith matter before a full var became necessary.”
“Really, darling, you’d leave such an important thing as rulership of the nation to ‘might makes right’?” Rarity asked with genteel disgust.
“How is that any different than a civil var or conquest, other than number of people involved?” the demoness replied, “Anyway, even if Right of Challenge vas that simple, vhich it isn’t, by vay, vould it really be any vorse than determining your ruler based solely off vho had random luck to be born to right family, maybe vith a few paid-for priests to squawk about ‘divine mandate of kings’?”
“You’ve had some bad experiences with hereditary monarchies, I see,” Cadance observed with a wry grimace, “I can relate. Still, I must admit to finding some of your ways rather hard to understand, Empress HellCaller.”
“And if you vere seeing yourselves through my eyes, you’d find yourselves more than a bit funny looking, Princess,” ‘Caller retorted. The two Equestrians were honest enough with themselves to admit the demon had a point.
“Is everything ready, General?”
“Yes, my Queen, but I still have reservations ….”
“You worry too much, the lunar nag will be gone for the next few days, Cadenza is weak, the Elements of Harmony can be disabled by capturing or killing even one of the Bearers, and the Royal Guard is completely unprepared for our attack.”
“With respect, my Queen, for all her youth, Cadenza is still a divine, and there is Celestia, who is neither young nor weak, to deal with as well, and even if they are deprived of the Elements of Harmony, the Bearers are all experienced adventurers, and while we have infiltrated the staff and the Solar and Night Guards here in the Palace, and the Royal Guard throughout the rest of Canterlot, our own forces are still significantly outnumbered. And then there is this ‘Empress HellCaller’, the ruler of a nation we have never heard of, and a member of an unknown race as well, who just happens to show up now? I don’t like it.”
“Unless this ‘HellCaller’ has an army hidden in her pockets, she is nothing more than another dignitary, no different than any of the others. Now go prepare the troops, and if I hear any more of this defeatist talk, I’ll have you replaced, do I make myself clear, General Mandible?”
o the poor fools she dosnt need an army to squish bugs
First filly is the wrong term. Filly is applebloom's age. They are mares.
Second stone is an idiot. Killing or punishing so nobody also dissuades others from repeated the act.
Third. Hellcaller is going to make this so interesting
10337545
Welcome the the entirety of Equestria in every single story, universe, world, etc. Stupidity is rampant and encouraged Becuase at the end of the day, the main character is never the one who will pay for the lives lost due to their own incompetence.
Hellcaller likely has paid in the past, she understands.
You cannot debate the sensation of a punch to the face with one who has never experienced it.
Especially the Princesses
That's one
That's two
Wait what?
Ahhh the words of a third party, an outsider, one who is ignorant to the pain of loss and the hatred aimed at the guilty
Despite what you ponies might think (and what most people want) Might does make Right, I don't like it but it's true, if you have the power to crush all who would oppose you and have the desire to rule then the only ones who could stop you is someone who has more "Might"
After all, standing up against a tyrant and oppressor is great and all but if you don't have the power to actually do anything then you just get crushed under foot and nothing changes
Oh Chryssie, you just had to taunt fate didn't you
lol
RIP Chrysalis, we hardly knew ye in this story.
10337563
From what I remember, you want punishment but harsher punishment doesn't give better results. Certainty of punishment does.
Harsh punishment can be counterproductive if it leads to more people leery of cooperating with investigations because they know the punishment will be disproportionate.
An example from raising kids is that you basically max out the effectiveness of punishment with a 5 minute time-out.
10337769
Punishment should match the crime take right now. So much damage and injury because no one is facing punishment for it
Chapter nine's title.
*sings the title to the tune of drunken sailor*
Sounds like that one annoying npc you sometimes forget but somehow keeps showing up in random places next to the party 🤣
10337764
Who's to say that she isn't a semi divine of some kind? At least on terms of power levels?
Some timeline changes interesting
And that's the main reason for the trials, to determine which punishment is needed ...
Caution at the proper time can prevent disasters ...
the invasion has not even begun and chrysalis has already fucked up
Ah... Chrysalis you fool. You have already lost the battle. I can not wait to see how she reacts to such an oversight.
10337731
It's what Chrysalis does
10337875 In this case, I have to give credit to the old Basic (red box) Dungeons & Dragons set, they're the ones who gave me the idea for the Wild Bore (... damn I'm old ...)
10338426 Unfortunately for the Changelings, Chrysalis and caution have a rocky relationship
10337563 In this case I was using "filly" in the same sense as people often use "girl", rather than referring to a specific age category of female pony. My apologies if my writing was unclear
I see that you don’t plan on having chrysalis in the story for long
10338951
Yea, the Queen IS an extreme 'fortune favors the bold' type (and has yet to wonder why that is)
It's my headcannon for this story that Deepy's a pony. As in not-anthro. No one talks about it, but scritches are expected
10338951
What do you mean by wild bore??
10338552
recon is VERY IMPORTANT
something chryssy forgot and decided to replace it with assumptions
*Grabs a bulldozer* A mass grave will work right?
10339819 Derpy is a "true" pony ... that's just adorable
10340780 Wild (to be feral, or untamed) Bore (to be boring); specifically (if I remember the line correctly, it has been over 35 years) "The Wild Bore: A strange hermit who tells long, dreary, pointless stories". I merely made him inescapable
Both are so close, yet so wrong. Punishment is necessary, but punishment alone does nothing. One has to find the cause of the crime, why they felt the need to do it so that can be addressed. Otherwise, you're only treating the symptoms, not the disease. Sadly, it seems people (and ponies, apparently) tend to miss the mark, going to one extreme or the other.
10337783
By "so much" you mean things like the US violent crime rates that are at just about the lowest they have been since there even was a US?
While there was a climb in rates back to those in the late 1900s in the latter 20th century, even that is understood and has nothing to do with punishment. (Instead, it mostly has to do with the addition of tetraethyllead to gasoline and the resulting large scale mild lead poisoning of children.)
The reality is that "deterrence" is the second worst reason¹ for punishment and isn't very effective. With very little impact beyond relatively brief incarceration, (a couple years or so), and an often perverse effect with extreme punishment, (they can only hang you once, so you may as well commit more crimes if it might help you escape). Of course, most people who go on about how "we need deterrence," aren't really motivated by it.
1: The five reasons are rehabilitation, (making it so the person won't want to re-offend), restitution, (undoing the harm caused), isolation, (making the person unable to re-offend), deterrence, (making people afraid to offend), and vengeance, (making someone other than the offender feel good that 'he has been punished').
10343410
have you paid attention to what's been going on the past 2 months?
10352335
You made me do it. And yes it is funny. Someone needs to make it an actual song.
Me: Checks this story after a month
On Hiatus
Me:
10343039 The actual line is "a shaggy man who tells long, dreary stories." Page 48 of the Dungeon Master's Rulebook in the D&D Basic Set (1983) as one of the examples of a "trick monster," the entry for which can also be found on page 261 of the D&D Rules Cyclopedia (1991) (which is where I first came across it).
Major props to you for making such a subtle in-joke!
10338951
Red Box? I think the White Box is older, but don’t quote me on that.
1974 copyright date.
You know, it's stories like this that makes me realize just how amazing Shining Armor has to be.
I mean in this story he literally getting married to the Goddess of Love, which means he has somehow managed to earn the personal love and affection of the being that govers the emotion of Love
10578931 Shining is not only amazing, he's also very open-minded. After all, Cadance embodies Love, which is a very complex, multi-faceted emotion. And it is very easy and reasonable to see that including Lust in all of it's variations as well.
Sounds like a fun guy