Reasoning with a Goddess
“Aequalis, how… how can this be?” Celestia said carefully pulling Snickers tighter to her body, as though he were a porcelain doll and was ready to break.
Snickers looked between the white feathers on the wings that nearly covered him and met Apple Bloom’s eyes where he had a short conversation through a single look that spurred the filly into motion. She ran to Twilight and gently shoved her for the mare’s attention. “Miss Twilight, why’s Princess Celestia actin’ that way ta Snickers?”
Twilight looked quickly from Apple Bloom to her mentor and a dozen thoughts ran through her mind before she donned a stern expression and stood up tall and cleared her throat loudly. “Excuse me, Princess Celestia, but can you explain why you’re hugging Rarity’s adopted foal?”
Celestia kept the motions of rubbing her neck against his and with a slight tightening of her wings around them both, she spoke, “Twilight, friends, and family, how can this be?” Celestia asked and looked back over her shoulder at part of the group. “There must be more that you haven’t told me, some way… a wa-” Celestia choked on a sob and returned her attention to giving her affection to the colt she held.
“Mom?” Snickers nervously asked.
“Yes?” Rarity and Celestia spoke in unison.
The room was quiet, but now even the panting of Pup was hushed and the timberwolf scurried from the room with haste as the temperature rose slightly. Celestia looked back over her shoulder and her eyes met Rarity’s with a power that struck the mares in the room to their very core; an innate desire from ages long past shouted at them to run, escape, flee the danger and trample anypony that got in their way.
In the few seconds that sensation fought to take over the mares, Celestia noticed the fillies walking between herself and the mares she considered honored knights in her service, breaking the spell Celestia was casting over the six adults. Fluttershy rushed to hide behind Rarity and started to cry openly with Rainbow Dash consoling her, even though the brash pegasus was close to doing the same.
Twilight started breathing again and noticed Applejack and Pinkie rush from the room, probably for the same reason she really wanted to do the same; to use the bathroom from such a fright. Her knees and elbows trembled, but she stood her ground under the now kind gaze of Celestia. “Twilight, I apologize for what I just did.
“It was uncalled for and a violation of the trust you put in me, all of you. If you have a question, I will answer to the best of my ability.”
“Yes, p-princess,” Rarity stammered and then cleared her head with a single breath, “why, pray tell, do you see my little pr-” she hesitated and then powered on, “prince as your son, your majesty?” She asked and watched carefully for Celestia’s next action.
Celestia circled around to face the crowd and returned her wings to her sides and let Snickers down onto the floor. He bowed his head to Celstia and then rushed to Rarity, where he was embraced into a warm hug before he gave his attention back to the alicorn. “Mom, is Miss Princess Celestia always like this?”
Rarity shook her head and patted his. “No, darling. At least, not to my knowledge,” she said and looked at Twilight, who shook her head in confirmation. “Why don’t we just see what she has to say.”
Pinkie pronked down the stairs and landed her last pronk with a hop that turned into a skip, one she used to join the others on the floor. “So, what’s the play gonna be about?”
“Pinkie, is that all you can think of at a time like this? Playing after what just happened, what we all felt?” Rainbow said while hugging Fluttershy and helping to quickly quiet the mare and calm both their trembling.
“R-rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said softly, then whispered into her friend’s ear.
“Yeah, gotcha. We’ll be right back,” Rainbow finally said as she got up and moved with Fluttershy to the stairway for the bathroom upstairs with a hurry to their step; Fluttershy’s wings were clearly tight to her body, so much so they were at the point she would be feeling a cramp soon, if she didn’t relax them.
Snickers looked up the alicorn’s body and when he met her warm, caring, loving eyes he frowned. “Why’re you acting like such a bitch to everypony?” Rarity wrapped him in her forelegs and pulled him close, but he raised a foreleg to stop her from covering his mouth. “Seriously, do you get off on a power trip, making everypony scared of you and being a big bully?!”
Rainbow zoomed in and held her hoof over his mouth. “We’re so sorry, Princess! He talks before he thinks and has a lot of bad words, he doesn’t mean anything by it.” She looked at her friends and then landed. “It’s my fault, I taught him a bunch of bad words that colts and stallions shouldn’t use; punish me, Princess.”
Just as the mares started defending one another, Princess Celestia’s horn began to glow and everypony in the room went quiet, preparing for whatever the spell may be. “My little ponies, please calm yourselves. I have no intention of punishing anypony,” her regal stature returned and her wings crept open while she avoided looking at Snickers.
“As far as Aequalis is concer-,” Celestia’s voice hitched, “concerned, I would appreciate knowing, in full, what he is doing here, and why he is under the care of Lady Rarity.”
“Excuse me, Princess,” Twilight spoke up and moved to the forefront of her friends and the fillies while Rarity held Snickers close to her and kept him quiet with a magic silencing spell, “I believe I explained that in my fourth letter to you.”
Celesita’s eyes blinked and shimmered with wetness when she met Snickers’s eyes again. “But, he’s here. He’s well, and healthy, and doesn’t even bear the mark where…” Celestia flinched and looked aside with her head lowered.
Snickers flicked his forehoof up and struck Rarity’s horn. With a surprised, and slightly pained, yelp, Snickers was freed from his bubble of silence. “Who are you to me?” He asked. “I’ve been through a lot, but if you give me some crap story about me being a long lost alicorn, I’m gonna freak out. And Rainbow didn’t have anything to do with my language, I talk how the fuck I feel like,” he glanced at Rarity and then swallowed loudly. “But, I’m getting better,” he finished in a calm and quieter voice.
Sweetie stepped beside him. “Yeah, and we have enough bits in his jar to take a train to Vanhoover for their Season Change Festival!”
“No, you do not,” Rarity stated and the gathering of fillies groaned and whined their disappointment. “I’m sorry, but I’m not supervising nearly ten foals on a trip to a major metropolis; not to mention the bits would only cover the train, not food or lodging. Not to mention anything else that may come up.”
Celestia’s gaze stayed on Snickers and she trembled as she held back roiling emotions she hadn’t felt for years; centuries at this level of turmoil. “Aequalis, surely you remember me, you must!” Celestia pleaded and lowered to her belly and ducked her head to look at him at eye level. Her muzzle was as large as his body and it hurt her even more to make the split second comparison.
Snickers narrowed his eyes and spoke scornfully. “My name’s Snickers, not Aequalis. Get it right, lady.”
Celestia’s head dropped to the floor and she exhaled another shaky breath as tears left her eyes in slow but steady rivulets. “Oh, my son; what has happened to you over the centuries we’ve been apart?”
“Son?!” The room chorused in near harmony.
“Wait, wait! So, you’re saying that I’m in love with a real prince of Equestria?!” Silver Spoon grinned and stumbled to Scootaloo, who rolled her eyes and held the dazed filly.
“Awesome! My <sorta gay> friend is a prince. Hey, Princie, can you take me to a party so I can meet some hot mares?”
Other comments and questions flooded the colt’s ears and head until he covered his ears with his forehooves after ducking under Rarity. Rarity, for her part, blushed lightly at the thought of being the parent to a real member of the royal family and what it could mean for her fashion lines in the future.
Twilight’s voice cut through the chatter like a knife through a rock, so she turned to Pinkie Pie for help in gathering the ponies in the room’s attention. Pinkie nodded and flipped over herself, landing with cymbals on her forehooves. She spread her forelegs apart as far as she could, then brought them together with a resounding tone that cut into each pony’s ears like a screaming tornado.
“Hey everypony, Twilight wants to say something!” Pinkie shouted to the quiet room. “Got ‘em warmed up for you, Twi.”
“Uh, thanks, Pinkie. Okay, everypony… I think some explanation is due as to why Snickers is also called Aequalis, and what that means to Princess Celestia.”
Princess Celestia’s posture, wings, and expression changed making her look like she aged ten years in a few seconds. Celestia sighed and sat up slowly, glanced at Snickers, then sniffled. “He is my son. Two hundred years ago he lived to four years old, then… he died,” she covered her face with her foreleg and the mares fell into the story Celestia was telling with all their emotions on display.
“Medical science had not advanced over a thousand years and when he fell ill, my darling Aequalis was treated by the best medical help in the land. He died beside me two weeks after falling ill and the reason wasn’t discovered until the following day; it was discovered he had a small hole in his heart, a murmur, they now call it.”
All eyes and attention snapped to Snickers, who sat and crossed his forelegs while Celestia went on. “They tried leeching, blood letting, potions, and prayer; all useless and, in the end, it was something a spell nearly everypony now knows that could have healed him and given us a true prince in line for the throne of Equestria.
I funneled tens of thousands of bits into medical science so that no pony or creature would have to suffer from the pain I had felt… but now, Aequalis, you’re back and I can be the mother I--”
Snickers scoffed. “I’m not Aqua-whatever, I chose the name Snickers because that’s who I am here. If it’s been hundreds of years, then I probably just look like this colt of yours.”
Celestia shook her head. “No; the scent, the voice, your appearance is the same, and that’s not chance; that is fate. You have been returned to me and I shall make up for lost time, Aequalis.”
“Stop calling me that!” Snickers shouted and stomped the floor.
His fillies moved to surround him. “He’s our herd stallion, you can’t take him from us, Princess,” Scootaloo stated factually.
“Yeah, we need him,” Apple Bloom added.
“He’s everything to me, don’t take him away before I can show him my true love,” Silver Spoon pleaded and fell to her chest in a sloppy bow.
Celestia looked at the fillies, then to the mares. “I understand your hesitation, but this is how it must be. I’ve been without my son for too long and there is a lot to make up for.”
Applejack moved to stand beside Twilight. “Princess, there’s a lot ya don’t know yet about this here colt. Ah really think ya should listen ta us all before ya up and snatch him from the life he’s gotten ta havin’. Ya only gave a little piece of yer side, and there’s a whole heap a hay missin’ ta this whole story.”
Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t even know you yet, but you’re not making a good impression by showing up and then telling us you’re gonna kidnap me and not let me see anypony I know, just because I look like your kid.”
Celestia’s wings rose again and she retook her regal stance. “Very well, I will listen to your telling of recent events. Should they prove your case, then I will withdraw my claim to Aequalis until a time of his choosing to return to my side.”
Diamond Tiara raised a foreleg. “Um, what’s Aequalis mean? It sounds like water, maybe?”
Celestia smiled a small smile. “You think like a future scholar, but you are incorrect. His full name is Aequalis Solis Lunaeque, which means The Sun is Equal to the Moon in old Ponish.”
Most of the females in the room aww’ed at the name while Snickers looked up and thought it over. “Yeah, I can see that making sense. But, that’s still not my name and not me. I’m not a time traveler,” he said looking into Celestia’s eyes, “the Harmony trio pulled me here and made me a pony.”
Celestia’s eyes widened and her ears directed themselves at the colt. “What did you say?”
“Oh, you know those fuckers?” Snickers said, then was reminded of a unique pain as his ear was pulled by Rarity’s magic.
“What have I told you of such language? And in front of the Princess?!” Rarity scolded.
Snickers moved and tried to lessen the sharp stinging pain Rarity was giving him. “Ow, mom, ow, ow, stop, I’m sorry!”
The room was heated by a wave of energy that expanded across every pony in the room. The fillies screamed and the mares covered their faces. “Release my son or I shall add your ashes to the gates of Tartarus!” Celestia’s Royal Canterlot Voice boomed and shattered a window as well as one of Fluttershy’s eardrums. Fluttershy cried out while everypony covered their ears and cowered down to the floor in supplicant fear of the ruling goddess’s threat.
Celestia looked at the ponies and her heart ached seeing them all afraid, if not terrified, of her. She lit her horn and the window repaired itself, as well as Fluttershy’s damaged ear, even though only Fluttershy knew it had been ruptured. “My little ponies, I apologize for what just happened and there’s no excuse for it.
“I have healed all of you of any injuries you may have received from my rash action and will refrain from using offensive magic for the remainder of this conversation.”
The had fillies gathered around Snickers and helped him up to stand while shooting Celestia displeased looks, bringing a sense of shame to the immortal mare. In the meantime, it took several seconds before Twilight was able to rise from the floor and answer, “P-princess Celestia, Harmony seems to have taken a liking to Snickers and have tested him several times over the past month he’s been under Rarity’s care.”
“Rarity has been a fantastic mother and has made great strides to care for Snickers as a parent would their child, and less like an obligation demanded by the State to do a job,” Fluttershy added.
“Yeah, this kid’s got more radical in his left hoof than some adults I know have in their hind legs,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, then looked quickly to Applejack, “not you! Your legs are fine. I mean they look great, er… I’m gonna shut up now.”
Celestia giggled quietly to herself. “Very well, tell me of the Trials the mares have sent you through?”
“Princess Celestia,” Sweetie raised a foreleg like in class, “actually they’re stallions. I saw them and they weren’t mares.”
Scootaloo frowned. “Yeah, awful stallions. I’m glad I gelded one and skinned the other’s penis like peeling a carrot.”
Snickers nodded firmly while everypony else grimaced at the thought. “Yeah, that was awesome; you saved us from a horrible rape.”
Celestia’s mane began to shift to orange the more the foals talked until the attention was on her again. “Harmony were stallions for you, Aequalis? And they attempted to force themselves on you; like monsters that grace the deepest pits of my dungeons?”
Snickers nodded. “Yeah, but we got away and they were too busy crying to do anything but suffer,” he smirked.
Scootaloo hugged Snickers. “And Snickers taught me to love and accept myself for me, and not for my past. This colt is the best thing to happen to a lot of us and you can’t just take him away,” she said and as if on cue, every foal gave Celestia their best puppy expression.
Celestia’s gaze shifted between the ponies and finally stopped on Snickers, then she nodded. “You all make fair points so far, however what am I to take from this letter sent to the EFS from Fluttershy?” Celestia magicked a letter from the aether beside her head, facing the ponies. “In it, she states that Rarity is not mature or caring enough, at the time of the letter, to raise a foal, much less her sister in her parent’s absence?”
Attention turned to Fluttershy, who whimpered and curled onto herself on the floor while sitting and looking away. “I’m sorry, I was so upset and--”
“And this letter from an anonymous mare that states Snickers has the most foul mouth of any pony she’s ever come across, especially in public. Or this one that states he was in a fight with a filly named Diamond Tiara and broke her muzzle, the filly needed to be casted and now resides in the hospital under constant care.
“Swearing at an infant, urinating and defecating in public, proudly exposing him penis to ponies as he walks through town while flirting with mares and fillies and asks for sexual favors in exchange for hayburgers, swearing in school, threatening, instigating, dishonesty, deception, theft, destruction of public property!”
The papers filed together as magic flashed more and more letters into their group until they finally stopped and Celestia held them sideways and looked at the mares. “One hundred and seventy six letters about Aequ-... Snickers’s attitude and manner over the past month while under the care of an Element of Harmony.
“I ask you all, is this what Aequalis needs to be taught while under Rarity’s care?”
“Hey,” Silver Spoon started, then every other filly joined in shouting their disagreements to defend his honor.
“I’m not hurt too bad, see?” “He never dedicated whatever, I was with him, I can vouch for him.” “He hardly cusses anymore, honest.” “He’s never said bad words to a baby, he’d have told me because he tells me everything.”
“He’s gay! Honest; he’s the best colt and he’d never hurt a filly.”
The crowd fell quiet and all eyes turned to Diamond Tiara, then they looked at Snickers, who had his forehoof to his head and was shaking it.
Attention returned to the princess when she began to speak with finality. “With all the evidence I have against you as a parent, what reason have you to offer in your defense?” Celestia challenged.
Rarity’s eyes were brimming as she looked between her friends, desperate for help that she couldn’t provide on her own. Each of her friends looked between one another, then they moved to stand beside Rarity. Rainbow stepped forward a step and spoke up. “We have been with Rarity since Snickers came into her life, we’ve helped her as friends from the start and we’ve watched her grow as a mare, mother, and pony.”
Twilight stepped forward beside Rainbow Dash. “All the while, she’s helped this little colt change from a crass, rude, mean spirited stranger into a mostly normal colt that I’m proud to have in my library as a research assistant into new avenues that I never imagined.”
Fluttershy was next to act. “He was the most hurt and sad pony I’d ever seen, and when we first met he thought I was an angel sent to save and guide him. But, we’ve helped him to understand Rarity is the guide he needs in his life and he’s taken to her like a bird to the currents. He’s a part of a family now, your highness.”
Pinkie hopped up next and landed between Rainbow and Rarity, draping a foreleg over the white mare. “This mare has mommy written all over her, it’s just under her fur where you can’t see it. Want me to show you?” Pinkie said brandishing and turning on an electric shaver.
“No!” Was the consensus.
Pinkie turned it off with a clack from the device and tossed it behind her where it turned back on the sound of hair being sheared off prickled each equine’s nerves. Rarity quickly looked behind herself and exhaled in relief when she noticed it was just a little bit of Pinkie’s tail that had been cut. “Really, Pinkie Pie, must you be so…” she quietly grumbled at the word that wouldn’t come to her.
Pinkie giggled and shrugged. “Meh, it’ll grow back. What’s really important is that this mare is mommy material and this little colt; we can call him Rarity’s Colt, for reasons,” Pinkie winked to the side, “is just what this mama bear needs. Why, she nearly threw Twilight through a wall when Twilight accidentally took away his ability to talk.”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed at Twilight and she spoke with a firm voice, like a parent scolding their child for doing something knowingly naughty. “You did what to Aequalis, Twilight Sparkle?”
Snickers hopped from sitting and landed in a short gallop to stand between Celestia and Twilight and Rarity, who were standing side by side. “Hold up! It’s fine, I’m fine. <And I can talk in my old language, too, now.> It’s not a problem at all.”
Celestia whinnied in surprise and stepped back. “What language is that, Aequalis? What has happened to you in your absence?”
“Nothing, Princess! I’m not Aequalis, I’m just me; and I’m not gonna go away with you without you having to take me and make me stay with you. And I’ll show you that I’m not okay with being taken from my family.” Snickers said without breaking eye contact with Celestia. He waved his herd over and the fillies surrounded him and stood between Celestia and the mares with pride.
“We’re staying by Snickers’s side and if you take him, you’re gonna have to take all of us.”
Applejack ruffled Apple Bloom’s mane. “Now, that’s what an Apple is all about. Ya heard us, Princess. We’re all standin’ by one another and we’d like ya ta rethink takin’ Snickers here from the family he has and continues ta grow with. Ah’d bet every acre of land in my family’s name that he’d be better off becomin’ a better pony here with us and Rarity then in the wilds he was found in or with any other pony.”
Celestia looked at the gathering and her heart sank. “Very well, you leave me no choice… Aequalis, you will be allowed to stay here as Rarity’s colt, however, if you step out of line and I receive more reports such as these,” she lifted the stack of papers and fanned them for the ponies to see, “then I shall have no choice but to take him from your care.”
Celestia looked intently at the ponies in the showroom. “If you believe in him, and yourselves, then it should show by the Hearths Warming Eve pageant we’ll all be attending in Canterlot in three months time.”
The whole gathering nodded and bowed. “Yes, your highness,” they almost all said.
Snickers stood and turned to hug Rarity, who was quickly at the center of a giant hug that Celestia averted her gaze from. “Twilight Sparkle, a moment please?” She asked and walked further into the shop without waiting.
Snickers sighed and inhaled Rarity’s scent, exhaling some stress from the recent event. “Mom, I think I’ll start wearing pants now,” he said and he was surrounded by giggles.
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... Did nopony think to mention he’s a human-alien? I think that would have been important information.
10233633
Ha, nope.
I felt that would have added even more to Celestia's case by reason of instilling insanity or something.
Great comment, btw.
10233945
I mean, they have plenty of evidence to back the human thing up.
Now I'm just worried that Harmony killed Celestia's son in order to have a fresh body for Snickers to inhabit.
10233959
eek, I honestly didn't think of that, but we'll see what plays out.
You'd be surprised how many times I changed the path of this chapter because it didn't feel right, so here we all are... hoping for the best and not knowing what will come next.
(And here I am, being blase as ever.)
I think this is more accurate.
Twilight stepped forward beside Rainbow Dash. “All the while, she’s helped this little colt change from a crass, rude, mean spirited stranger into a mostly crass, rude, mean, bi-sexual friend.
As for the story, I really do like it and am looking forward to more.
My only nit pick would be how the Celestia part does feel somewhat clunky for some reason I can't put my finger on.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart
10234145
Totally get it, but they're playing the best of his personality. Lol.
I almost had Pinkie spill all that, and more, but I had to keep it real. And don't fret, Celestia isn't done yet.
:)
I have a plan next chapter.
Good story progression but Celestia felt off to me TBQH. I'm glad Snickers gets to stay with Rarity.
Any updates?
10250250
Soon, fifth rewrite.
Next chapter is just being... difficult.
😱
10250255
Looking forward to it :D
This sounds familiar from a different story.
That’s obviously from spoiled bitch!!
Finally, episode context.
oh loocky here another story to ad to the growing list that makes me hate celestia even more, what a fucking bitch