If you’ve learned anything from those magic crystal VHS tapes you ordered through the mail, it’s that the way to a mare’s heart is to make her feel threatened. “I was really impressed with your assistant.”
Trixie’s brow furrows. “Really?”
“What was her name? Starlight? She’s really skillful.”
“Well,” Trixie pouts, “‘Skillful’ is not the word Trixie would use. ‘Adequate’ might be more-”
“And she’s stunning to boot!” you tack on.
You can see Starlight’s head peek out from the backstage space to look at you curiously.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Trixie growls, frowning. “Thank you for your time, but Trixie has a lot of cleaning up to do.” She uses her magic to rudely push you back before slamming the door.
After a few silent moments, the door opens again and Starlight is pushed out in the same manner. “You too!” Trixie’s voice booms. “Out!”
The door slams again.
You glance over at Starlight, whose ears are flattened against her head in surprise. Meeting your gaze, she blushes and paws at the ground with a forehoof.
“So, uhm, I guess my afternoon is free now…” she begins. “W-would you like to maybe...I dunno...Get some hot cocoa with me?” She smiles up hopefully at you.
[Not so] BAD(?) ENDING
I’ll take it!
Cocoa sounds nice too!
Huh ... Neat... My third run was shorter than expected... Still a win-win chapter
First ending, and ain't so bad either. Don't mind if I do!
“...hot chocolate? Yeah that sounds great.”
Well that was unexpected but I take what I can get!
Got this ending last, and I have to say that it's probably my favorite. Not to say that I dislike Trixie, but Starlight's just so adorable that I can't help but appreciate her ending a little more, even if it's not her story.
This CYOA doesn't really hold the same luster others you've posted, but that's mostly due to its short length. With a starved four thousand words, there's little room for an intricate story or character development. What is there is well done, but it leaves something to be desired.
That being said, I perfectly understand your reasoning for cutting back on the length, since writng what is effectively multiple parallel stories while handling the logistics between them can be quite taxing. Even so, this CYOA was still handled very well, for its short nature. I can't really imagine anyone being able to do better with such a small space to work with. Plus, it was still a nice way to kill the hour, so I'd say it's a net positive in the end.
You’re teasing us! CYOA with Starlight please!
10046545
Snuggle Your Own Starlight!
Trixies better anyway. I mean starlight