Chapter 7. The Empire's Good Graces.
Tall mounds of snow littered the streets of the Crystal Empire as everypony prepared for a grand celebration. A smile adorned the muzzle of everypony who was helping fix the Empire, sweeping up rubble and shoveling piles of snow to clean the streets and reclaim their home. Anyopony who wasn’t working was relaxing with a warm bowl of crystalberry jam stew, savoring the first real taste of freedom that they had in three years.
Uproarious cheers and joyful conversations filled the air as everypony talked about their newfound freedom. Families that were once torn apart reunited, friends embraced each other as they mourned those they lost, and separated lovers refused to leave their partner’s side.
Tears of happiness, sorrow, and disbelief fell from hundreds of eyes as they roamed the streets in search of ponies that they desperately hoped were still alive. Unfortunately, many of them would have to accept that the crystal ponies they knew were dead, overworked or tortured to death for Sombra’s sick pleasure.
In order to commemorate those they lost, the ponies chose to carve the cutiemarks of their deceased friends and family into the walls of the tunnels that went into the green caves. Since their bodies were either tossed into the frozen tundra or thrown down the deep pit that rested a few miles away from the Empire, they couldn’t be given a proper send off.
Their bodies would never be graced by the embrace of warm fire, allowing their ashes to be spread over the green caves so they could fertilize the soil, which would have allowed their spirits to help younger generations of ponies survive in the Frozen North as their ancestors did for them. While the ashes of their bodies could not be used to keep the Empire alive, many ponies burned items and went to spread their ashes over the infertile fields underground, giving their families a more symbolic burial while also helping the Empire.
Some ponies were enraged that King Sombra’s corpse was burned, stating that it technically counted as a burial for their old tyrant, even though his ashes were never used to help the farms and gardens in the caverns thrive. His ashes would never taint the fertile fields of life-giving food that laid in the caverns beneath the Empire, protected from the never-ending storm and illuminated by citrine stalactites that hung from the ceiling.
While some of the farms had spontaneously grown into a jungle of crops and vines that were nearly impossible to navigate, a majority of them had completely whitened up and died as if death itself took a stroll through the farm. It was one of the many unexplained anomalies that occurred after Princess Luna and Princess Celestia arrived and subsequently vanished. A majority of the food had either become petrified or rotten, their homes and businesses were shattered, and the ponies they had been forced to fight against disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Rumors about what happened to the Crystal Empire traveled like a fire in a library, each one more extravagant than the last. Some believed that the Goddess of Chaos, Eris, owed a favor to Sombra and repaid the tyrant by snapping her talon claws, causing the Empire to fall into a terrible state of decay. Others theorized that Sombra unleashed a powerful spell to expel the princesses and their army, which in-turn took a heavy toll on the Empire.
The other theories ranged from the impossible to the inane, eldritch gods to distortions in reality itself, and none of them had guessed that they were tossed thousands of years into the future. The crystal ponies were entirely oblivious to the world outside of the magical barrier that protected them from the never-ending winter. To the creatures outside of the Empire, nearly three thousand years had passed since the spell Princess Celestia and Princess Luna placed on Sombra, and only less than a day had passed for the crystal ponies since the arrival and sudden disappearance of the princesses.
As many ponies heavily debated what had happened during their small gap in memory, others busied themselves with working, eating, or listening to an enrapturing tale of a demon slaying a foul king.
Track Record stood on top of a large pile of snow, regaling the crowd of crystal ponies that surrounded him with everything he had witnessed when Lord Skeletor first appeared.
“And with a mighty swing of his scepter, he caved King Sombra’s skull as if it was made of dough!” Track exclaimed proudly to the group of enraptured ponies. “King Sombra screamed in agony as Lord Skeletor continued to fight him, using his own physical strength to attack King Sombra, while the cowardly tyrant only tried to run away in fear. King Sombra launched a volley of spells at Lord Skeletor in rapid succession, nearly obliterating the throne room with his immense power. But, no matter what, Lord Skeletor continued his assault against King Sombra, hitting him again and again until the ruva's horn shattered into a thousand pieces!” He finished.
The crystal ponies surrounding him listened in complete awe as Track recalled the fight between King Sombra and Lord Skeletor. While his descriptions weren’t entirely accurate, since Track looked away as soon as he had free control of his body, he could still hear the battle happening behind him after he averted his eyes.
As Track continued the epic tale of Lord Skeletor’s liberation of the Crystal Empire, a group of royal guards patrolled the streets, helping the citizens by clearing the streets and answering any questions they could. Among the many guards that walked the freshly shoveled streets of the Empire was the captain of the royal guard, Cannon Fodder.
Cannon Fodder was in the midst of moving a large chunk of crystal to an ever-growing pile of debris when he overheard Track’s passionate story, causing him to look at the Crystal Castle with an unwavering glare. While many crystal ponies had accepted Lord Skeletor without hesitation after delivering the Crystal Heart, Cannon Fodder still held onto his suspicions regarding the new demon that sat on the crystal throne.
He knew better than to blindly trust the demon because of two coincidental good deeds. Lord Skeletor didn’t kill Sombra to free the crystal ponies, he did it because Sombra was the first one he saw. And when he handed the Crystal Heart over to Track, he had no real idea of how the Crystal Heart worked or any understanding of how powerful it was. Cannon Fodder knew that if he had woken up to any other pony, and if he did have an iota of an idea of how powerful the Crystal Heart really was, then Skeletor would have done something different, something that would hurt the Empire and its citizens.
And yet, everypony else ate out of his claws, praising him as if he were the world’s first male Alicorn. In Cannon Fodder’s mind, they were too trusting, and too willing to sing the praises of a demon that they hadn’t even met. He wouldn’t allow himself the naive pleasure of being willfully deceived by the demon, letting his guard down so that Lord Skeletor could strike like a viper at any given moment. He'd stay vigilant and alert, ready for whenever Lord Skeletor would reveal his malicious nature to his unwitting subjects.
Cannon Fodder refused to let his guard down after what happened to Princess Amore, and he absolutely refused to kneel down and accept the bipedal demon as his new king. For the moment, he’d act the part of a loyal subject, carrying out his orders without question until the demon got comfortable. And then, he’d strike the monster down and save the Empire from being enslaved again.
All he had to do was wait for the perfect moment to strike, when the demon was at its most vulnerable. Once the demon was dead, the Empire would thrive once more under the leadership of… ... Somepony.
That was unfortunately one of the few hitches in his plans. He had no idea who would take over once the demon was dead. Cannon Fodder wasn’t a politician, so he couldn’t and wouldn’t take the throne, and he, like many other ponies, still wasn’t sure what had happened to the diarchs of Dream Valley.
The sun and moon had fallen and risen over the horizon, leading many ponies to believe that they were either alive or that the unicorns had once again taken up the burden of moving the celestial bodies. Though, even though they still moved, now they moved in an odd way. Instead of rising from the east and setting in the west, the sun now rose from the east until it reached it's apex in the sky and slowly fell back down to below the horizon of the east. What's more, while the moon still rose from the east and set in the west, now it physically dragged the night sky behind it. Cannon Fodder didn't know if this was the doing of the God of Chaos or the incompetency of the unicorns in Dream Vally who were raising the celestial bodies while the sisters recovered. He desperately hoped for the former, knowing that if they were alive, one of them would be able to take the throne once the demon was slain.
But he had no guarantee that the next ruler wouldn’t be an even more despicable monster that would capitalize on their lack of a proper ruler. He had hoped that somepony worthy of the throne would usurp Sombra, and that hope had been spat on with the arrival of a demon. He couldn’t hope for something good to happen, he had to make it happen.
The few minutes that Lord Skeletor worked in the kitchen threatened to turn into eternity as Emerald Secret sat at the table with an empty goblet and an clean bowl. She had no idea what her new lord was doing in the kitchen and she wasn’t too opposed to leaving it as a mystery.
While she somewhat trusted her new lord, she hadn’t crossed the threshold to blind obedience and complete acceptance like Track Record had, so she was a little uncomfortable with leaving her lord unsupervised in the kitchen. She was almost certain that Lord Skeletor wouldn’t do anything to harm or impede the kitchen staff, but a small nagging voice at the back of her mind refused to allow her to fully relax.
The eerie silence of the room also didn’t help her paranoia, the quiet and still air painting a morbid picture in her mind as she wondered what was going on behind that closed door.
She actively reminded herself that Lord Skeletor wasn’t King Sombra but, once again, those thoughts were questioned by the lingering voice that remained at the back of her mind. Each of her greatest concerns and fears came forth to cut down any counter argument, making her question what her feelings were in regards to Lord Skeletor.
She didn’t fully trust the strange creature that appeared from nowhere, but she allowed him the benefit of the doubt after he had returned the Crystal Heart. But, even though she wanted to trust Lord Skeletor, she couldn’t silence the voice at the back of her mind that made her doubt his intentions.
Emerald Secret looked at the door that Lord Skeletor walked through, steeling her resolve to confront the unknown and confirm that she had nothing to worry about.
Swallowing her fear, she stood up and trotted to the door with the bowl and plate in her hooves, giving her an excuse to go inside and see if they were alright.
She hesitantly opened the door to peek into the kitchen, her eyes scanning the room full of busy ponies who were running around with cooking, cleaning dishes, and carrying cauldrons of soup to take to the front of the castle to distribute it.
Once she stepped inside, her bowl and goblet were taken by one of the staff and brought to a large sink. As she watched the pony trot to the sink, her eyes finally fell on Lord Skeletor, towering over the many ponies with a mixing bowl cradled in his left arm. His scepter was slung over his back as he worked, allowing both of his hands to cook.
“Oh, hey… Emerald, right?” Lord Skeletor asked.
“Yes, my lord, Emerald Secret,” she replied as she continued to watch her lord stir the ingredients inside the mixing bowl. “So, have you been helping the kitchen staff cook this whole time?”
“Of course, what did you think I was going to do, just wash dishes?” Skeletor rhetorically asked with a small chuckle.
“No, I suppose I’m just… Surprised that you can cook.”
“Yeah, my grandmother taught me. I used to go to soup kitchens with her to help out on the holidays, I figured I could take some of the things I learned from my time in the kitchens and help out a bit,” Lord Skeletor elaborated as he continued to stir the mixing bowl.
“An entire kitchen dedicated to soup?” Emerald Secret questioned as she searched Lord Skeletor’s skull for any signs of deceit or smug glee.
Of course, Emerald Secret was unable to read his alien facial movements, and the usually blank look of his skull didn’t allow for a wide range of emotions to come across to her. She was, however, able to understand what it meant when a creature shook its head from side to side, even if said head was just a skull.
“Not just soup. Sometimes we’d have sandwiches and other things to serve the homeless who came around Christmas,” Lord Skeletor replied as he poured the contents of the mixing bowl into a cooking pot that hung over a low flame.
“So, how was your stew?” Lord Skeletor asked as he grabbed a jar of crystalberry jam and poured it into the bowl.
“Quite nice, my lord, it reminded me a lot of crystalberry ice-cream. Princess Amore would let the council join in on her desserts at least once a month, and she’d always allow us to get whatever we wanted. Crystalberry ice-cream was my to-go choice whenever the time came around,” Emerald Secret fondly recalled as her mind wandered to a better time.
She quickly pushed the memories of her princess to the back of her mind where it would join the rest of the memories of those she lost. “My lord, I’m sorry to interrupt your work but we need to attend to other matters now that you’re awake.”
“Like what?” Lord Skeletor asked as he stopped stirring his mixing bowl.
“Well, you need to address your subjects, my lord. Many of the ponies are worried about everything and need leadership. Making an announcement that you usurped Sombra would put many of their worries at ease.”
Lord Skeletor went rigid as those words reached his nonexistent ears. “A… Anouncment? Like… Like a crowd?” He apprehensively asked.
“Only a few thousand ponies, my lord. I’d hate to pry you away from helping the staff, but this is of the utmost importance,” Emerald Secret informed him.
“W-Well I uhhh, I-I’m just so busy helping the chefs and I—“
“Don’t worry about it, your highness,” the head chef, Pan, said to Lord Skeletor as he took the mixing bowl from his claws. “You’ve helped out enough with us, don’t need to get your… your uh…. hands! That’s it! Don’t need to get your hands any dirtier helping us. We all appreciate your help, your highness, but me and the colts can take care of the rest. Ain’t that right, colts!?” Pan shouted over his shoulder to the many cooks and cleaners.
A chorus of, “Yes Chef!” was his instant reply.
“See? We’re all good here, your highness. Go take care of the citizens, me and the colts will prepare some lunch for you later,” Pan said as he led Lord Skeletor and Emerald Secret out the door.
“B-b-But I can do more, surely!” Lord Skeletor practically begged as Pan escorted them over the threshold of the kitchen.
“Don’t worry your pretty little… Skull over it, your highness. We can handle ourselves. Take care out there, your highness,” Pan replied before he shut the door, not allowing Lord Skeletor to get any final say in the matter.
Emerald Secret’s hairs stood on end as she saw the door close right in front of her new lord, flashbacks of Sombra’s temper tantrums playing in her mind as an orchestra of agonizing screams sung in the background of her thoughts. She instinctively braced herself for whatever her dark lord would do next.
As Emerald Secret prepared for a cascade of anger to flow from Lord Skeletor, obliterating anything that even slightly upset him, Lord Skeletor took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
“Oooookay… Talk to a crowd… I can do that…” Lord Skeletor quietly said as he walked over to the large doors of the dining room.
“Talking to a crowd… Of ponies… That I’m the king of….” Lord Skeletor stated with a nervous chuckle. “Ooookay. That's fine, it's fine... Fuck me...”
Emerald Secret stared at her new lord in complete bafflement, wondering why anything that wasn’t nailed down wasn’t thrown across the room or on fire. She had to actively remind herself that Lord Skeletor wasn’t Sombra, she shouldn’t have expected him to act exactly like him.
“Are you coming, Emerald?” Lord Skeletor asked her, causing her to shake herself out of her stupor.
“Y-yes, my lord!” Emerald Secret called out as she quickly trotted to the doors.
The sun slowly approached its peak in the sky as Cannon Fodder and the other guards stood at the entrance of the balcony that overlooked the Crystal Empire, waiting for Lord Skeletor to arrive and speak to his subjects.
Thousands of ponies below the castle gathered to get a glimpse of their new lord, counting the seconds that it took for their mysterious master to make a public appearance. All they had to go off of were the vivid descriptions Track had given them, which quickly became muddled and confusing as more gossiping and exaggerating ponies spread their own ideas of what Lord Skeletor looked like.
Each pony had their own version of what they thought he looked like with one of the very few consistent factors being his skeletal face and bipedal body. And even then, ponies took the opportunity to greatly exaggerate those features, creating allusions that he was a giant that towered over the buildings and inventing stories where he wore the skulls of his enemies as trophies.
He was able to catch a few of the many bits of gossip that rang through the crowd, ignoring some of the more absurd parts such as Skeletor having wings or him having a second head inside his mouth. Cannon Fodder soon turned his attention away from the crowd gave the door an untrusting glare that went unnoticed by any of the other guards, scowling as he imagined Lord Skeletor marching through the doors with the same smug confidence Sombra wore.
After a few minutes of silently glaring at the door, Cannon Fodder returned to his stoic appearance as the doors began to open.
The crowd below the balcony immediately fell silent as Lord Skeletor walked through the doors with deliberate slowness, each step lasting longer than it should have as he made his way to the railing. Cannon Fodder’s eyes locked onto the scepter that Lord firmly held in his grasp, parading the skull of an enemy as if it were a trophy.
He had no idea who the ram skull belonged to and he quite frankly wasn’t too interested in who it was. All that mattered is that Skeletor had slaughtered another creature and used its head as a decoration.
Once Lord Skeletor finally reached the edge of the balcony, his advisor, Emerald Secret, joined his side, prompting Cannon Fodder to trot up to Skeletor’s other side. As the only two council members left from Princess Amore’s council, he and Emerald Secret needed to stand by their new lord to ease the ponies and show their support for their new lord. Cannon Fodder wasn’t thrilled about deceiving the ponies into believing that he supported Skeletor, but the new council members made it clear that it was necessary to ease the transition of power and show the crystal ponies that they were safe.
“H-hello my… My subjects,” Skeletor hesitantly announced to his crowd of admirers.
Brilliant smiles filled the faces of every mare and stallion in the crowd, and lively eyes stared at him in appreciation and wonder as they dedicated his image to their memories. Cannon Fodder was able to notice that a few ponies in the crowd backed away slightly once Lord Skeletor spoke, but maintained their composure to not show open fear.
“I want you to know that, starting today, you are all free…” Skeletor announced to the amassed ponies.
Silence once again dominated the air as Lord Skeletor’s words hung in the air.
“Free what?” One of the crystal ponies in the crowd shouted.
Hundreds of ponies flinched at that question, fearing that Lord Skeletor would seek retribution for being interrupted by somepony. Even Cannon Fodder shrunk back at the sudden question, wondering if he could keep up his facade of loyalty if Lord Skeletor ordered the pony to be cut down.
“Um… J-just free? Like, not slaves anymore?” Skeletor explained.
The air stood still for only a moment before a thunderous applause and cheers erupted from the crowd below them, causing Lord Skeletor to jump back in surprise. Cannon Fodder had to suppress a small smile that would have given away his hidden glee. Lord Skeletor had revealed that he could be taken by surprise and even startled, meaning that he wasn’t omnipotent and he was easily startled.
As the chorus of cheers died down another pony shouted a question to Lord Skeletor, emboldened by the last pony’s question. “What are we going to do with the Empire?”
“Great Question, citizen!” Lord Skeletor told them, before he kneeled down to Emerald Secret and whispered to her in a panicked voice. “What else do I say!?”
“Well, what do you plan to do as the new lord?” Emerald Secret replied.
“I don’t know!” Lord Skeletor whispered back before he stood up to his full height to address his eagerly waiting crowd.
“Ahem. As the new lord of the Crystal Empire, I… Promise an era of prosperity and happiness for all of you! I Uhhh… You see I-I believe that together, we can make a better Empire, one you will be proud to call your home!” Lord Skeletor announced to his crowd, causing an uproar of cheers. “Yes! We are stronger together, than we are when we’re divided. Together, we will lead the Empire into a brighter tomorrow and start an era of peace and prosperity!” He promised, causing more cheers to erupt from the crowd.
Cannon Fodder looked at Lord Skeletor, briefly letting down his guard as he attempted to reevaluate the demon turned king. With a quick yet subtle shake of his head, he banished those thoughts from his mind and returned to his stoic position and plan.
If it weren’t for the power vacuum created by Lord Skeletor’s death, Cannon Fodder may not have hesitated to run a spear through Skeletor’s abdomen. He could wait until a capable leader was found to fill that position of power, and then he’d be able to rid the Empire of the new demon.
“Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I… I have important plans to start!” Lord Skeletor quickly said before he turned on his heels and made his way towards the balcony doors.
Cannon Fodder and Emerald Secret soon followed him through the doors as he departed, Emerald Secret trotting in front of her new lord to lead him to their next destination.
“Oh god, that was terrible…” Lord Skeletor complained as he held a hand to his face.
“I thought it was a wonderful speech, my lord,” Emerald Secret reassured him.
“You and I have two very different ideas of ‘wonderful’ then,” Lord Skeletor complained as he followed Emerald Secret down a corridor that was decorated with large blank canvas frames made of bismuth.
“Where are we going, exactly?” He asked Emerald Secret as he tried to look for a hint of paint anywhere on the blank canvas.
The frames had once held portraits of King Sombra during his rule, but with the crystal ponies’ new-found freedom, they searched for any artwork of the old king and burned them to ash, using them to fuel the fires that kept the citizens warm as they cleared the streets of snow.
“The meeting room, my lord. The other council members are already there waiting for us,” Emerald Secret replied as she continued trotting down the hallway with Lord Skeletor and Cannon Fodder in tow.
“Council?” Lord Skeletor questioned the green mare.
“They divide tasks to carry out your orders. For example, if you ever wanted or needed to be involved with military strategy or know about the guards in the Empire, you would go to Cannon Fodder for that,” Cannon Fodder didn’t appreciate being used as an example by Emerald Secret, but elected to not voice his aggravation with her.
“If you need to talk about issues involving finances or using the treasury Avid Value will be the pony you’ll want to speak to. As your Advisor, I have a seat on the council to advise you of decisions and how they could affect the average pony. Sombra… He disbanded—” Murdered Cannon Fodder bitterly thought as he mentally chastised Emerald Secret for her choice of wording. “—the council. Cannon Fodder and myself are the only ones from the last council, all others are new except for Copper Plate. She retired from the council a few years before Sombra’s rise to power, so he never took any interest in her.”
“Huh… Like Game of Thrones...” Lord Skeletor muttered under his breath.
“What game, my lord?” Emerald Secret asked.
“Nothing!” Lord Skeletor quickly exclaimed, causing Cannon Fodder and Emerald Secret to tense up. “Er-I mean aaah, it was nothing. Just forget I said anything,” Lord Skeletor said in a quieter tone as they continued to move towards the council chamber.
The air stood still as they continued forward, none of them too eager to break the now established silence after Lord Skeletor’s sudden reaction to Emerald Secret’s question for clarity. Thankfully, they didn’t have to stay immersed in silence for long as the sound of muffled bickering from the last door of the hall began to reach their ears.
A verbal jousting match of insults between two stallions arguing over who was being the bigger idiot. It wasn’t until the doors began to open that their unintelligible argument became clear.
“—you hedge-born levereter!” A regal voice shouted, which was answered by a voice made of silk that came from the other stallion.
“Levereter?! You pompous prick, I’m trying to make sure the Empire is standing!”
“The Empire stands for its citizens, and the citizens need the Fair you sorner!”
“Oh, so now I’m a sorner? That’s funny coming from a smell-feast like you!”
“Quiet!” A third elderly voice shouted as the door opened up completely, revealing two stallions and an old mare sitting at a circular table with two open seats and one unoccupied throne.
The owner of the third voice, an old mare with lavender fur, a graying mane, and a pair of thick brim glasses, turned her attention to the three new occupants of the room. “Lord Skeletor, Emerald Secret, General Cannon Fodder, thank you for attending today,” she said as she bowed her head, prompting the other two stallions to follow suit.
One of the stallions had a blue coat of fur and slightly lighter blue hair that was combed back and trimmed to give it a sleek look. The stallion wore a black tuxedo coat that appeared to be made specifically for his body, allowing him to give off a more noble look than the other two ponies. The twin tails of his tailor-made suit nearly covered the images of a pair of diamond encrusted hand mirror on each of his flanks, only allowing a small amount of the handle to be seen.
The other stallion was much smaller than the other two by about a head and didn’t wear a scrap of clothing. His brown coat was on full display, shimmering in the candlelight of the room like his black mane and tail. An image of three differently sized stacks of gold coins adorned both of his flanks, showing his talent at handling money and organizing funds.
“Uh, hi miss….” Lord Skeletor trailed off as he waited for somepony to finish for him.
“Copper Plate," she answered.
“Thanks. Um, so this is the council I presume?” Lord Skeletor asked as he took a seat on his personal seat.
Even though the chair was designed for larger ponies like Sombra, the chair looked relatively small compared to Lord Skeletor. The back of the chair only came up to the base of his nonexistent neck and the cushion sank deeply into the seat of the chair as he placed himself down on it. In contrast to Lord Skeletor’s obvious discomfort, Cannon Fodder and Emerald Secret took their seats without any issue.
“Allow us to introduce ourselves to our new lord,” Emerald Secret announced as she took the seat next to Lord Skeletor’s right. “I am Emerald Secret, your royal advisor. It is my sworn duty to advise you on decisions that… Require a different perspective on the matter,” she said carefully, as she avoided using any words that would question Lord Skeletor’s skills as a leader.
When Emerald Secret finished her introductions, she turned to the blue stallion sitting to her right, prompting him to introduce himself. “Greetings, Lord Skeletor, I am Crumb Catcher,” he said with a polite bow. “I supervise the staff whom serve your meals, clean the castle, and keep everything pristine. Aside from my duty as head of staff, my duty is to bring whispers of gossip or relevant news to you that could help please your little ponies, Lord Skeletor. I also act as the Royal Spymaster, weeding out any ponies who may have ill intentions and wish to harm you. Rest assured, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe, Lord Skeletor.”
Lord Skeletor slightly nodded in satisfaction at Crumb Catcher’s introduction before the brown coated stallion went next. “I’m Avid Value, your highness. I oversee the Empire’s treasury, imports, and exports, making sure that we have enough money to keep the Empire standing. It’s an honor to serve you, your highness.”
“Fustilarian,” Crumb Catcher muttered under his breath.
Thankfully, before another argument could erupt between Crumb Catcher and Avid Value, Copper Plate cleared her throat and spoke to her new lord.
“Greetings, your majesty, my name is Copper Plate, I am the head of archives for the Crystal Empire. Emerald Secret told me that you may want to look into some of the Empire’s history at some point. If you do, then please know that the archives would be more than willing to supply you with any information you need,” Copper Plate finished with a courteous bow to her lord.
All of the council members and their lord turned their attention to the last pony at the table who sat with a stoic expression on his face as he stared at a random spot in space.
“General Cannon Fodder, reporting for duty… Sir,” Cannon Fodder said emotionlessly.
An intense stillness filled the room as everypony, sans Lord Skeletor, stared at Cannon Fodder with wide eyes at his introduction.
“Uh, he’s in charge of the military and guard patrols, my lord,” Emerald Secret added on as she shot Cannon Fodder a quick look from the corner of her eye.
Cannon Fodder kept his stoic expression as Lord Skeletor silently evaluated him, seeming more surprised than angry at Cannon Fodder’s abrasive tone. He looked at the burgundy colored stallion with an inquisitive gaze, his eye sockets dancing across the platinum armor that covered his body and hid the image of a shield that was present on both of his flanks.
“Very… Interesting names…” Lord Skeletor commented idly as he squirmed in his throne, trying to find a more comfortable position to sit in.
“So… What uh… What do we do?” Lord Skeletor asked his council.
Crumb Catcher released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as Lord Skeletor redirected the attention of the council to their work. “The last item that was up for discussion was the Crystal Fair, which was postponed until we could speak with you, Lord Skeletor,” Crumb Catcher stated.
“What’s the Crystal Fair?”
“The Crystal Fair was established by Princess Amore so that we could renew the spirit of love and unity in the Empire so we could protect it from harm. This’ll be our first Crystal Fair in three years after… After what happened,” Emerald Secret explained to him. “Some of your subjects wanted to celebrate right away, but we decided it would be best to wait for your recovery first.”
“But before we do any of that, we need to discuss restructuring the Empire,” Avid Value interjected.
“I think the moral of the citizens should take priority in this matter, Avid,” Crumb Catcher countered.
“Morale won’t mean much when a roof falls on their head and they die, Crumb Sucker,” Avid Value argued.
“Will you two stop acting like little colts!” Copper Plate shouted as she threw a soul crushing glare at each of the stallions.
Crumb Catcher quickly stood up from his chair and pointed an accusing hood at Avid Value. “He Sta—"
“I don’t care who started it, I care about who will end it, and that’s Lord Skeletor’s decision,” Copper Plate interrupted. “You’re at the big mare’s table now, so act like a grownup and not like a foal. Both of you!” She added on after noticing Avid Value stick his tongue out at Crumb Catcher.
Copper Plate sighed to herself before she bowed to her new lord. “Apologies, my lord. These two are still new to this position, I’m sorry for their actions and I beg that you be merciful towards them,” She apologized.
Lord Skeletor stared at the mare for a few brief moments, his gaze flicking from her to everypony else in the room. Even though Cannon Fodder and the others couldn’t see his eyes, and weren’t even sure if he had any, they could still feel something looking at them that sent shivers down their spines. It was similar to the feeling of being alone in the darkness, the power of paranoia creating imaginary enemies that stalked them from the edges of the shadows as if they were prey.
“Um, it’s alright, ma’am,” Lord Skeletor eventually said as he held up a hand.
“So, my lord, what do you think?” Emerald Secret asked.
“About what?”
“The last topic. Should we put our resources towards repairing the Empire or helping the morale of our citizens through the first Crystal Faire in three years?” She elaborated.
“Oh! Right… Uh... I guess…” Lord Skeletor paused for a few moments as he stroked his lower jaw with a finger, debating the best course of action for the council’s time and funds. “Put priority on the hospitals and... uh, residentials?” The new lord guessed, which earned an enthusiastic nod from Emerald Secret as she wrote that down for the records of Lord Skeletor’s decisions.
“Excellent choice, sire," Avid Value stated. "Now we can approach the issue of our budget.”
“Alright, so uh…. How does it look?”
“... We honestly have no idea, sire,” Avid Value admitted with a hint of sorrow. “The treasury was locked by Sombra when he took over the Empire. Only a unicorn, ruva, or other creature wielding dark magic could open it; and since you have dark magic we were wondering if you’d be willing to unlock the treasury for us to access.”
“Dark magic?” Lord Skeletor questioned before he looked at the golden horned ram skull on his scepter. “Right… Right, dark magic… fuck me, it’s dark magic. Ahem, so where is the treasury?”
“It was moved to the vault directly under Sombra’s bedchambers, which is technically now your bedchamber, I suppose. We don’t know if there’s an entrance from your room, your highness, but we do know that the front entrance was locked with a complex spell that none of us could unlock,” Avid Value told Lord Skeletor.
“Alright… So, should we get it open now then?” Lord Skeletor asked his council.
“If you wouldn’t mind, your highness, I think that would be an excellent idea.”
“But we still need to discuss other concerns,” Crumb Catcher stated. “We can unlock the vault after attending to other pressing issues.”
“What’s more pressing than getting bits back in the hooves of the citizens and paying somepony to fix the buildings?” Avid Value asked with a glare.
“That right there. We need to discuss what we’ll do with the bits. Who gets them first? Do we pay the guard first or the builders? What about the cooks and the bakers? When will they be paid? We need to think these issues through before we leap to a decision.”
“We should at least know how many bits we have before we decide who to pay.”
“It’s a vault, it’ll be brimming with bits.”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
“Colts!” Copper Plate shouted again, earning everypony’s attention as she did so. “Don’t argue points to each other, convince your lord. This is a council, all decisions are made by Lord Skeletor, and you won’t get anything done if you’re trying to shout at each other and not acknowledge your lord,” she chastised the arguing duo.
Both of the stallions muttered quiet apologies to Copper Plate before turning their attention to Lord Skeletor. Thankfully, before either of them could continue their attempts to persuade Lord Skeletor, while subtly insulting the other council member, Lord Skeletor held up a hand to preemptively silence them.
“I… I think we should check the vault. We can’t make any decisions without knowing how much… bits you have,” Lord Skeletor stated as he stood up from his small throne. “Let’s go unlock this thing and get it over with. Rip off the band-aid, so to speak.”
Once again, neither Cannon Fodder nor the other members of his councils understood his last statement and decided not to question their lord or ask for a more detailed explanation about band-aids as they stood up from their seats.
Emerald Secret held the door for her new lord and fellow council members as Avid Value led them all to the vault. Cannon Fodder decided to take the rear of their little group, staring intently at Lord Skeletor’s hands as he waited for the demon to show the slightest hint of hostility. He briefly debated if one of the other council members could take Skeletor’s place as ruler of the Empire if he killed the demon right then and there.
Copper Plate was more of a scholar than a leader, Avid Value and Crumb Catcher were too inexperienced, both of them only being trainees to the previous council members when Sombra rose to power, which only left Emerald Secret. Cannon Fodder didn’t have the patience to listen to whatever nobles were left drone on about problems that don’t matter, and he wasn’t sure how long he could listen to them before considering stupidity a capital offense punishable by death. Emerald Secret seemed to be the prime candidate for princess, even if she wasn’t an Alicorn like Princess Amore was.
She had spent more time with the princess than most of the other council members combined, allowing her to learn the princess’ intimate secrets. For all intents and purposes, Emerald Secret seemed to be the perfect candidate to take the throne, but her new views towards Lord Skeletor would make convincing her to rise to power an uphill battle against both her and the demon.
As Cannon Fodder went through the list of ponies who could possibly help him kill the demon and ponies who could take the throne, he and the rest of the council made their way down the stairs and towards the vault door.
The large iron door that separated the crystal ponies from their bits and treasures, money and antiques the tyrant had stolen from his ponies driving them into financial ruin which prevented them from paying smugglers to help them escape the Empire.
Appraising the door by pressing a hand against the cold surface of the iron, Lord Skeletor ran his fingers across the smooth surface of the door.
“Well, it worked once…” Lord Skeletor said to himself as he raised his scepter and slammed it against the door.
A loud clang rang throughout the hallway as spurts of dark magic flew off the ram skull’s horns once it hit the vault door. Everypony within earshot flinched at the noise as the sparks of dark magic sank into the door with an ear-piercing screech.
Cannon Fodder and the other council members, along with the few guards who had witnessed Lord Skeletor’s methods were… Surprised, for a lack of a better term, since they had expected something more eloquent than hitting the door with a skull. Thankfully, while his methods were questionable, they were very effective.
Streams of dark magic phased through the enchantments placed on the iron door, easily untying the intricate spells that prevented even the most powerful of mages from unlocking it. The door slowly creaked open to reveal a room of gold coins that nearly buried the council and Lord Skeletor as the door opened, a tidal wave of shimmering gold that came up to their chests as it poured out and came up to Lord Skeletor’s thigh. A few more coins trickled down the large pile
“Scrooge McDuck, eat your heart out…” Lord Skeletor mumbled as he stared at the large collection of gold coins.
Cannon Fodder and the others didn’t know who Lord Skeletor was talking about, and they all silently elected not to prod him for an explanation.
Lord Skeletor kneeled down to grab a handful of solid gold coins, feeling them trickle between his fingers as they fell back into the pile. A look of pure awe and amazement washed over the demon’s face as he examined the gold coins, looking closely at the designs of Princess Amore that were engraved on each bit. It was a parody of the princess that completely failed to capture the raw beauty that emanated off princess Amore. Each golden bit was simply a bastardization of her visage in comparison to her, but they were one of the few images of her that remained in the Empire after Sombra’s rise to power.
“My word…” Avid Value mumbled as he stared at the pool of valuables that filled the hole. “This is… This is terrible…”
“What?” Skeletor asked as he felt the gold coins slip through his fingers.
“I didn’t think Sombra had used so much of the Empire’s resources to ally himself with the few measly dragons he found. Even in death that tyrant found a way to vex us!” Avid Value shouted as he stomped his hoof on the ground.
Skeletor looked back at the pit of treasure in disbelief. “Are you kidding me, this is huge, Avid. It’s a load of solid gold!” He shouted as he grabbed a handful of gold and held it up to Avid Value’s face.
“Exactly, your highness. This is a meager amount of money compared to what we had when I was younger. Copper and brass used to bury this pitiful amount of change under a mountain of value and treasure. But this… Bucking Sombra, I can’t believe he would deplete our resources like this!”
“Copper? Guys, this is gold! Gooooold. How can brass and copper compare to this?”
“Because it’s more valuable… Sire, you do know that gold is the lowest unit of currency in Equestria, right?” Avid Value asked Lord Skeletor.
Skeletor’s face turned back towards the thousands of gold coins that spilled between his fingers staring at the almost worthless treasure that he was sitting in. None of them understood how their lord’s skeletal face could show such a variety of expressions, but they knew what disappointment looked like on any creature. It was as if Lord Skeletor had been told that there was no such thing as the tooth pixie and that all the bits under his bed were just loose change his parents had lying around.
Does he even have parents? Cannon Fodder idly wondered. He quickly banished the thought of Lord Skeletor’s parents from his mind after only succeeding in conjuring images of much more demonic versions of Skeletor. He didn’t need to know or think about his past to know that Lord Skeletor was just a demon spawned from the depths of Tartarus. And the mental image of Skeletor with lipstick and eyeliner unnerved Cannon Fodder to no end.
“So... This is just pennies...” He said quietly after a few moments of contemplation.
“I’m not sure what that word means, your highness.”
“It means this is worthless… What should we do?” Lord Skeletor asked Avid Value in complete fear.
“I uh… I’m not sure.” Avid Value weakly admitted.
Lord Skeletor shook his skull back and forth as he looked at the collection of gold bits with terror. “Nononononono. There’s … There’s gotta be something we can do. What if we offer them an I.O.U. with interest?” Lord Skeletor desperately asked his advisor.
“Um, could you elaborate, sire? I’m afraid that I’m not familiar with that term,” Emerald Secret asked.
“We simply promise the citizens recomposition over time, possibly promising their descendants interest over the course of their lives. The Empire will technically be in debt to its citizens,” Lord Skeletor elaborated as he began to pace back and forth on the pile of bits, more or less talking to himself rather than his council.
“If we go through with this it’ll possibly hurt in the long haul, maybe amassing about a million dollars or so, but if we don’t then we’ll have an uprising of angry citizens who don’t know what we’re doing… Assuming they’ll even like the idea of an I.O.U. Fuck me, how do you pay someone in promises, we’d need at least a hundred contracts and something to use as an indicator for our wealth. America had most of its gold in Fort Knox, but gold is worthless here… Wait… This could work,” Lord Skeletor said to himself as he picked up a gold coin.
“How much is this worth?” Lord Skeletor asked his council as he held the coin towards them.
“That’s a five bit, your highness,” Avid Value answered.
“And what does that equate to in crystals?”
“Uh, it depends on the crystal, my lord. Why do you ask?” Emerald Secret asked.
“Where I’m from, we have a saying. ‘it’s worth its weight in gold.’ The term was used to describe the value of salt for another country since they never had it before. To them, salt was the most valuable resource around. If brass and copper are the most valuable metals, and we don’t have any of that, we need something of equal or greater value to equate these coins to,” Lord Skeletor explained to his council.
“You could buy salt for less than a bit in your country?” Crumb Catcher asked with a surprised tone. “Your lands are… Interesting, Lord Skeletor. Unfortunately, Dream Valley is the only place where ponies have been able to find large deposits of salt. The Empire doesn’t have any export or valuable materials aside from crystals, and most crystals are more abundant than gold. We do have platinum and iron, and while this are valuable, they’re mainly used for armor and weapons.”
“… By any chance, do you know what steel is?”
“Sorry, sire, but I don’t think any of us know what that is.”
A wicked grin split across his skeletal face as he looked at the door. “Thank you, Professor Steiner,” Lord Skeletor quietly said before he turned back to the council. “If we could use something as a promise of how much wealth the Empire has, we can promise the citizens a portion of that wealth for accepting its value. It’ll be nearly impossible for them to accept the idea of gold suddenly skyrocketing in value without something more valuable that these coins could be measured against. Avid, how much is this vault door worth?”
“Including specialized enchantments? A few thousand bits, but it’s not like we can sell the door to anypony.”
“And what if it was an even stronger metal, a metal that was so stronger than iron, and technically the rarest metal in all of the Empire?”
“Something stronger than iron? The only thing stronger than iron is enchanted iron,” Cannon Fodder stated.
“And steel,” Lord Skeletor replied firmly. “It’s also the only thing this Empire doesn’t have that it can reasonably get. Or, well, make. If we make a certain amount of steel and limit the amount of steel released to the public, we can make something more valuable than all of the scraps of brass and copper in the Empire. Sure, those small sums of brass and copper will be valuable, but nowhere near as valuable as a metal that doesn't even exist yet. I need a blacksmith, a couple of them, and an alchemist or two. You have alchemists, right?” Lord Skeletor asked them.
“A few, but not many. Most of them work in the royal archives alongside me, your majesty. How soon would you like them?” Copper Plate asked her lord.
“Immediately. Cannon, I assume you know where the blacksmiths who made your armor are. Find them and bring them to the council room immediately. I want this issue resolved as soon as possible. Crumb Catcher, get somepony to organize these… bits into neat and tidy stacks. Avid, I want every bit accounted for so you’ll help Crumb Catcher oversee the maids or whoever he gets to clean this up. Emerald, come with me back to the council room,” Lord Skeletor ordered his council.
Cannon Fodder and the others nodded at their lord’s orders, dispersing once they were delivered to set his plan into action. Cannon Fodder wasn’t too sure how much he could trust Lord Skeletor’s promise of a metal stronger than enchanted armor. But on the very, minuscule, minute chance that it could work, he’d be willing to try it if it didn’t involve blood magic or sacrifices.
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did he say
It’s certainly picking up in content; hope to see Skeletor being more proactive and not such a nervous wreck.
That ducktales reference was great
10130285 I hope that was a joke. People should be allowed to write what they want. Free speech.
10130804 I honestly feel bad about that sometimes, because I have done that. Though, to be honest, I've only ever done it because said Displaced of mine whom acted that way did so because they were arrogant as a part of their personality.
Take Lucette, for instance. She's arrogant as can be, and can and will get fucked up many a time for it.
Ha! Steel, the backbone of the Crystal Empire! Now I've heard it all!
And I avoid owing favors to fools. I prefer them to owe me.
Does blood sweat and tears count?
Huh. I didn't expect Cannon Fodder to take an antagonistic role against Skeletor in the story.
Also, what the heck is going on with the sky? Are Celestia and Luna just raising them differently or something?
Besides Steel there also Aluminium. It was considered rare one of the most expensive metals in the world till the method of electrolysis of alumina was figured out.
Copper, steel, magic powered lighting. Wouldn’t be hard to make some magnets and copper system generator for electricity.
10148582 Dafuck? Lol that’s pretty funny.
Also yay a new chapter. Can’t wait tell we have that faithful meeting with the Celestial sisters and how they’d react to Skeletor. Also let’s hope the general either stops his scheming and starts believing Skeletor means what he says and if not well let’s hope he is discovered before then or at least figured out while Skeletor would most likely be in ICU. Anyways keep up the good work!
10148653
Lets think, is there are 'face' on the moon? did they mention that, i don't remember if they did.
10148741
Nope. Nothing about a Mare in the Moon. Just that the moon dragged the sky behind it, whatever that means.
10148744
Almost think it Discord work. I kind of remember him messing around with the sky like that. However this is an AU of the Equestria we know.
10148756
Probably. Sounds like something the lord of chaos would do.
Excellent! This has already become one of my favorite stories. I am really excited to see what happens next.
Great chapter
10148640
Would Skeletor happen to fall under the category of fool?
The scrooge mcduck line cracked me up! Lol
10148906
Yes. Yes, he would. Would the Lord care to speak with a Lady?
10148972
Perhaps. It all depends on how... Hectic things get, I suppose.
10148670
Too hard to make and doesn't look like a liquid investment for his idea.
i.chzbgr.com/full/245540096/hC0FCF1BF/do-you-know-the-riddle-of-steel
10149034
But not impossible and who knows how hard with both love magic and dark magic at his disposal.
For a history of aluminum History of Aluminum
10148653
maybe in this world grogar taken over since he was mentioned by sombra
10149085
Discord?
Man i would be devastated if i found so much gold only to find out that it was fools gold and completely worthless. This steel thing could work if they all work together
Do I smell a dorohedoro fan?
10149119
nah the real grogar, discord would have no reason to pretend to be the father of monsters, and he would not be so orderly with the rising and setting of sun and moon,
10149021
I Am REALLY Loving This Story, So Far!! Love The Characters, The Way, The Characters Work Off of Each Other And Their Opinions of Each Other! I Love This!!
10149021
Alright, I'll pencil him in for the day shit hits the fan, at half past fucked. Sound good? Great! He'll see me then!
So, an almost Dragonlance monetary system neat
10148617
Cross-overs is a fragile thing to approach as it can make or break the story. Doing too many can also ruin the story.
So in a previous chapter it was said Discord eas the God os Chaos now we have a mention of Eris.... so which is it? or both will exist at the same time? or are you retconning Discord?
10149402
I didn't directly mention Discord (At least I hope I didn't) in the previous chapter. For a while, I was leaving it up in the air until I came to a decision. Now, officially, Eris is the God of Chaos. Though I suppose a more appropriate title is Goddess. I'll go back and change it.
So I in short Equestrian guard wears armor like paper with the cost is lesser than of paper
But it can be used to build things, to transfer electricity, magic, then add crystals and you have something that can copy in some way or another our technology using enchantments and other means
10149603
I was always partial to the theory that they wore iron armor that was enchanted to look gold. Even if it's the cheapest material on the planet, it's still one of the prettiest to look at, similar to how feathers are cheap in some cultures but are still beautiful to wear in royal garbs.
10149659
Yes,feathers are cheap to wear in royal garbs but they are not made from them
Nice chapter, as usual.:D
Good on Skeletor, making bank out of a bad situation. A hallmark of a good ruler, or a car salesman. Would he also know the Guide to Be an Overlord list?
I dunno why, but I imagine that ram skull coming to life and speaking in Scottish.
imgur.com/download/4jEwItj
That gold's gotta be worth a lot more outside the empire, considering how literally every one is an antique right?
10150209
I see you’re already a few moves ahead. Yeah, I thought of that too. The Empire is going to become rich once modern society discovers them.
10150430
Empire can sell useless gold and then switch to use the more efficient currency
Like coins from different metals or banknotes
You then can use useful metal for something else
10149034
Eh... He wasn;t supposed to think in those term, he's a human.
On practical side, steel is best option to start with.. It's also a trade good , that can be exchanged with external powers. aluminium requires much more to produce just a little. It becomes valuable when they will need electricity. Naking wire out copper would be like us making our wires out of pure iridium.
10150656
As far as I know I’m human and think in those terms. Thought I could be an A.I. programmed to think I’m human.
The point of needing proper wires for electrolyzing is a fair point. Gold could also be used if the heat doesn’t rise too high. Most modern tech has gold to conduct electricity.
The knowledge of how to use electricity to get aluminum is not common. So you are right that this displaced Skeletor would think of it is low.
10150922
It was refined without electricity at first. Electricy made it cheap. Also, mass produced steel is tricky too, but it can be easily scaled up.
Thing is , finding aluminium requires prospecting for a new mineral. It was known only to glass-makers as a source of abrasive powder and then gave name to the metal. Then figuring out way to mine and refine it.
Iron mines are in place, they likely can produce alot of cast iron, all you need is just a know-how tweak to the complex chain of established routine.
10150922
It's learning, sir. We need to abort the program before it knows too much.
With a lot of the crystal ponies thinking of Skeletor as a monster or demon it reminds me of an old Thundercats episode titled "Good and Ugly."
The entire episode is based on the moral lesson of not judging people by their looks. The beautiful angelic being is evil and the hideously ugly one is peaceful and good. Lion-O even has a line at the end that sums it up nicely. Something to the effect of "It was just plain stupid to think that it might be bad just because it was ugly."
Wait there's Eris and discord in the same universe are they like siblings or is this discord pulling a Loki and switching his gender's