After a long time away, and a power shift back home, Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria to visit her old mentor at Silver Shoals where they discuss some unfinished business over a pots of tea and games of chess.
Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.
My Prompt: Celestia / War
Go check it out!
Quick Note: I am working on getting a cover image for this story. Though, it's looking like I will have to make one and, given my busy school schedule at the moment, probably won't have it done for another week or so.
Chapters (4)
Well that was all for nothing. I don't have a clue what was going on, and I frankly hated what I did sort of figure out.
Celestia wanted Twilight dead, and fuck the Human World, because you're turning her into her TCb self.
Why did you spoil out "Go check it out!"?
9911737
Just to make people look. Figured if they did that, they would be more compelled to do so XD
Plus, I'm in a bit of a funny mood...
Chess is war in microcosm, with all the details ironed out. It's bloodless, and all in clean black-and-white.
The real thing isn't nearly so neat.
I do enjoy a good chess game as metaphor for the ongoing argument. Still, this feels like too much of a divergence from the norm to cover over the course of a few games of chess. Celestia's clone legion is bizarrely dispersed to say the least, and there's the question of how much the surrogates knew. Furthermore, there's the question of Celestia's end goal, which even she doesn't seem to know. Okay, you've conquered two worlds and have removed all possibility of external threats. So now what? And, of course, there's Luna. She's going to come back from Bridleway eventually, and there's zero data on how much she knows.
In all, while the intrigue was enjoyable, there are a lot of underlying complications that the story's hoping the reader doesn't notice. There's just not enough there for it to connect to canon in a satisfactory way. As with chess, you've ironed out the messy details, and it shows. Still, props for the daring premise. Best of luck with in the judging.
9911959
I drink a considerable amount of both to similar results (mildly awake). I did once have this one barista whip me up this wicked coffee cocktail while I was pulling an all-nighter. Hit the spot like nothing else and I came out feeling rather good.
Should probably also point out that I very rarely do energy drinks (5-hr energy).
"I flip the board over, therefore I win"
Lots of interesting ideas here, but the presentation felt rather lacking. There's a lot of exposition to be delivered, and when both characters know the whole story but aren't telling it plainly, it tended to make for a confusing, slow read, and it feels like we're getting just the tail end of a bigger story.
This was pretty ambitious, and while I'm not certain it paid off in this form, it could be pretty cool to see it expanded without the wordcount restrictions of the contest.
Interesting concept.
Main issue is you don't show us where this is all going. It's like a JJ Abrams piece - tons of interesting ideas I want to know the answers to, yet no satisfying explanation as to the what and why if it all. What we got is intriguing - but without at least one major answer, it feels all tease
Okay, points for Barnyard Straw.
This is well written... But Celestia feels way out of character :/