- Member Since 7th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
Dr Sharaz Jek
Cynically Pretentious Hedonistic Nihilist...and those are my nicer qualities!
Dr Sharaz Jek
Joined 7th Jun, 2017 ·
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Dr Sharaz Jek · 126k words · 692 views
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9833197
Decent, I hope?
Interesting.
9834020
Thanks, hope it continues to be so!
This was very good, now while I hoped spike prospective was as long as sombra's. I was glad you managed to give us a small taste of it. I wonder though what will happen if the two of them encounter each other or what other race survive and align themselves with Spike or sombra. Defensive or Aggressive.
9835605
Thank you! Debating if I'll add more races, as I don't want to pack the story with too much extraneous stuff (I considered Griffin's for instance), but there will definitely be several new characters added next chapter!
Another great chapter, I have to say. I'm glad with how's the story going. In this chapter I can see hints and pieces of a plot lone while also diving deep into characters. Like sombra for example, while he is the currently strongest there. You didn't protrade him as the cocky baster, now while he is cocky his isn't stupidly so and knows if he doesn't play his cards right he could end up dead. I'm also glad that you didn't make him straight up kill shinning armor and rather tried to make his solider. It fits his character of wanting to be in power while humiling his rivals/enemies.
As for the Spike portion of the story. I'm happy that's it's somewhat longer than last time and showing us more of the home him and the gals made for themselves. Now while I was a bit surprised you included sunset, I'm happy that you did cause it creates a bit if a brewing drama along with the fact that it's not just everyone there is completely happy with everything. It's a good time when you make a strong character better by showing them that they themselves don't think they're all powerful. Strong but not unbeatable.
Now I wondering about a few thinks, one of which is that will you be able to juggle all these characters and these two plot lines. Now you seems to be doing a good job right now and I'm proud of you for doing so. Most people stop the harem (not including he main 6/7 trope) at 5 but you want to above and beyond by having two "protagonist" both with a potentially large harem.
One of other thing that has been on my mind is will there be like flash back chapters where we see stuff that lead up to this probably starting from the day before the invasion to the day before chapter 1.
And finally, will the sombra/Spike have a male in there harem like say gallus or thorax. Now from what I read so far I'm almost positive it's just females for them but I wanted to know if that's okay with you without spoiling anything.
And I'm sorry if this comment (/review) is so long. Just wanted to say what I thought 😅
9837636
9837636
Thanks for the long comment, it really helps me figure out if the story is on track or needs some retooling/a saving throw! I'll talk about a few points;
-Credit to NotaPonyPerson for lots of Sombra's depiction!
-Yeah, Sunset was picked because I felt it would add an interesting dynamic; that's how most characters were chosen since my collab partner hasn't requested any inclusions so far. A few more EQ exclusives may appear eventually...
-Cast is definitely large which is dicey, but admittedly some characters will only have bit parts. Focus will mainly be on Sombra, Spike, and an OC who will make their proper debut next time.
-No plans for flashbacks at the moment, as most I intended to leave to reader imagination, but it's certainly possible!
-I don't mind male on male content despite being hetero, but no plans for it at the moment as I'm not sure my readers would be into it.
I love the chapter. Hope for more soon.
9837951
Thank you, not sure when next will come but I'm hard at work in my spare time!
Sacrifice is an tricky think. You must know what consequences between now and later. If you chose poorly, then you likely will end anything you believe in. But done wisely, then you'll save millions, to billions.
9845893
Agreed, trying to have all the three mains make certain sacrifices along the way!
Great story! I just wonder when Spike and Sombra will meet and is there going to be bloodshed?
9849541
Thanks! Holding off on them meeting for a while, although Twilight and Sunset will be encountering Fancy's group next time. Bloodshed is possible but Sombra would wisely try and avoid it, as he can't take this older Spike in a direct fight!
A calm before the storm.
9855212
There's definitely a quiet civil war brewing between Sombra/Fancy, plus a potential clash with Spike down the line! Lots of revelations about the Eldritch next time, too...
Hope for Spike in battles for the future. Because Sombra is becoming a big threat.
9865593
A violent confrontation is certainly possible, as a civil war is brewing at Fancy's camp and the alliance needs a strong leader, a position Sombra covers and Spike is willing to accept!
9865767
A bitter pill to swallow.
Love the orgy with all the factions now Time for War!
I fear that someone would possibly die and it will be devastating.
9874456
Thanks, death is certainly possible...
Pretty interested in the story.
Though really bummed that is sounds like Luna is dead though. Wondering how she would have do for survival and which group she would be in, along with the "fun" that is happening within either group.
9876219
Thank you, yeah Luna/Celestia most likely won't make any appearance in this story, although there will be possibly unexpected characters added in coming chapters!
9876274
I guess I will see which might pop up then.
Still disappointed Luna has been killed off though..
9876278
Sorry, I usually avoid Celestia/Luna as either they should be so powerful/competent they'd solve everything, or they're nerfed to give a credible threat; I avoid Discord mostly for the same reason.
If Luna was about, I figure they'd likely all turn to her and Sombra never would've had his chance. Although it does mean I have to nerf Twilight admittedly a tad!
9876285
So Luna might be alive out there but long gone from here for something or just horrible killed and used as parts pretty much?
She might probably just snap and just go into hiding(never to be seen in the lands again) due to a failure this big and horrifying situation. I mean, I am surprised neither sister developed confidence issues in the show from all the times they ended up being rendered unable to beat the enemy/crisis and have to rely on the girls to save the day(this case, that failed horribly too)
9876310
I figure she and Celestia fought on the frontlines and took insane amounts of Eldritch with them before dying. Same with most of the major characters that I don't plan to use.
Well now this is game changer for sure.
9880671
Yep, probably the most twisty chapter so far!
"If you're going though Hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill.
9892390
Yep, some even harsher trials for the cast to face next time!
Drastic measure needs to be taken when desperation occurs.
9900696
That's certainly what Sombra and his crew think! Didn't work out too well for Chrysalis, though...
Well, Tree Hugger is a lost cause?
9910541
She's definitely twisted by Sombra's magic and basically undead, but perhaps it could be undone in time by the few powerful mages that remain?
I did not see that coming.
9927914
Neither did Sombra!
This i...
What a...
What th...
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9930503
It's definitely labeled Dark and Horror for a reason!
Now it's all about survival now.
Yep, they're much weaker divided but Sombra's presence would always lead to more conflict, so Spike had to make a tough call!
Sad that this happen to the Dazzlings
9950399
My fave Adagio didn't make it but maybe the other two have a slim chance?
Yeah, they had a dark fate.
9956037
Hoped to find something that made Sombra look suitably regal and intimidating!
Wholesome in dire times.
9956504
Spike's doing his best to keep the spirit of the old Equestria alive!
Rebuild and grow strong together.
9963053
Spike will get to do lots of 'rebuilding' next chapter!
Spike getting the "Love Train" on.
9968698
He's a lucky one, but soon they won't have much time to relax!