- Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
GaPJaxie
It's fanfiction all the way down.
GaPJaxie
Joined 11th Mar, 2012 ·
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You said we had ten minutes to edit!
Seriously, though, this one. Wow.
Fascinating take.
Absolute crime this didn't win; don't know where people's senses went.
That's incredible for being written an hour. Incredible even if it wasn't.
Sad but that's life. That would explain why Twilight's fanfiction involves Sombra as a dictator
9817960
Sombra, her boss, is a dictator.
Chrysalis, who dated her brother, is a shapeshifting succubus.
Flim & Flam, who work in sales and kiss up to the boss, are smooth-talking con artists.
And Spike, her roommate and only real friend, is her adorable little brother.
Gee. As if I wasn't depressed already. Thanks.
9817993
It's specifically tagged, "Sad!"
Not really a fan of the ending- at least, the way it left off. Yes, this is a somewhat dystopian Equestria. But Twilight is still a genius. Once she becomes willing to stand up to her boss, I don't see her completely reverting even if she gets fired. I think she'd be easily able to find a different job where she can use her enormous brain, preventing her from having to move out, etc.
In fact, if she manages to find a job putting those remarkable financial analysis skills to work, she may well end up being able to run her own highly profitable company in a few years- and then Sombra better beware, she's coming for revenge.
"two months rent"
"two months' rent"?
"Like, I like the real world, but Zuko and Katara should have ended up together."
...And this already strange universe just got quite a bit stranger. :D
"another page considering it"
"another page, considering it"?
"Twilight smiled bright, putting"
"Twilight smiled brightly, putting"?
...
Wait, I just remembered this is one of the ones I'm not supposed to spot errors for, I think. Ah, oops. :D
...Well, do what you will with the ones already above, I suppose. :D
...Don't think I saw any errors to comment on after that anyway.
Anyway! Another interesting piece! Thanks for writing!
A very well written story, that I have no desire to ever read again. It was depressing, in the way the real world is depressing when it's at the worst level of banal, drab, grinding evil.
Pretty easy to write when you're ponifying your own life eh?
I wrote something very cheeky and watchlistable about the subject matter and deleted it, so let's try instead <imagine "ironic" countercultural meme here>
An exquisite, carefully calculated punch to the gut. Or perhaps a boot stamping on a face. I'd like to think that Twilight took her fan fiction to a publisher or even a TV executive, but in this world, that seems like a pipe dream. I regret reading this. Thank you for it.
Look, I come here to get away from this kind of shit
9818430
I know man, I do too. This story is basically about my real-life job yesterday. I didn't get fired, but... you know.
Writing makes it feel better.
9818412
I think you just summed up most of my stories there.
Seriously though, I hope it didn't put you off. Work has been rough lately -- writing this was cathartic.
9818158
It annoys me that the poetry in that book is quite clever, because the rest of the book is malignantly terrible -- both morally terrible and just badly written.
9818077
buffy.mlpforums.com/monthly_10_2014/post-29938-0-96303400-1414478458.jpg
9818052
To be honest, yes. I had an hour to write something for the contest -- writing about how work was yesterday was a huge time saver.
Plus, magical horses!
9818049
...I'm sorry man. I thought about tagging it [Dark] as well. I hope I didn't put you off.
9818047
Fixed!
I mean, you can if you really want! These stories just have much lower standards, so I haven't put in the usual pre-editing effort.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
9818442
Yeah, it goes on my virtual bookshelf of "weird esoterica, do not take overly seriously" next to the Principia Discordia. Lots of quotable bits and fodder for debate, but not recommended as a serious philosophical guide.
Congratulations you made me think about work.
I need a drink
9818491
Which book are we talking about, here?
9818581
[obligatory non-endorsement of the views expressed in the book, and particularly those of its modern fans (who tend to also be fans of a certain infamous Austrian-German politician)]
Might is Right by Ragnar Redbeard
9818446
I'm sorry Spike walked in on you. He really should have knocked!
9818446
No worries, it's good.
9818602
Yeah, I get the feeling that any "debate" arising from that would involve lots of shouting on my part. Thanks anyway!
9818803
The book has some poetry in it. The poetry is clever.
The rest of the book is a giant pile of toxic, Nazi shit.
9818450
Heh, thanks. :)
So we'll see, then. Less work for me if I don't do it too, of course, but... as seen here, sometimes I might forget not to. :D
:)
9818439
9818441
Ahh, sorry about that. Glad the writing helped. That is one of the great qualities of art, the ability to take one person's pain and simultaneously reduce it and give pleasure to others.
Wait is this real? Do you write ATLA fiction too!?
9819001
I've written fanfiction for My Little Pony, Avatar, Mass Effect, Star Trek, Star Wars, and 40k. Way more pony stuff than anything else though.
9817825
You got the "don't know where people's senses went" part right.
To be honest, I was really conflicted the first time I read through this. The characters and setting were beyond fantastic, and I thought the little quirks placed throughout the story were really engaging. As usual, your prose was so much better than mine.
I guess where I found myself divided was the objective you had in mind when writing the story. I have absolutely no problems with you venting about your life through horse words, and I think it's healthy, even, but I feel the line separating reality from fiction this time was dangerously thin - almost to the point where I felt writing humans instead of ponies as the main characters would've fit much better. I also recall reading somewhere that you dislike fiction that very obviously pushes an agenda (and I do too), and this felt like something that was approaching that, if not already there.
Maybe I'm just an optimist, but yes, the story was incredibly depressing, but I feel depressing in a way that unfairly offered no way out. It was for those reasons I voted for CiG's story, even though it was somewhat less complete.
Regardless, I continue to be in awe of your writing, and I firmly believe this should've taken second above mine.
Surprised you could resist not titling chapter 1 “Because we can.”
9820958
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT
9820962
You can always fix that, you know.
preview.redd.it/x42sk5r42cj11.jpg?width=576&auto=webp&s=80a61af1840777e53ecd5ea2e17513b7283249ce
Don't worry Twilight, there are no ethical Excel spreadsheets under capitalism
Great work! Gets quite real. Almost too real. :v
I featured this on episode 275 of my podcast, Pony 411.
9825304
Oooh.
Ok, soooo.......hmm.
9817974
So, the show is her fix-fic?
9826612
Yup!
9819086
Is there somewhere we can find the other stuff? I'm particularly interested in Mass Effect, myself.
9828901
That's not online yet, but have you read Glorious Shotgun Princess?
Excellent Mass Effect fanfiction. EDI locks up the Cerberus scientists who were about to remove her Morality Chip and forces them to watch work safety videos.
9829424
Thanks for the recommendation - I've read the first few chapters and I'm having a lot of fun. :D
She did it. She escaped...
9921949
She only escaped to her parents basement!