Table Legs

by TheMajorTechie

Butter goes well with baked potatosacks

So, Slinky, how are you gonna get out of this potatosack that you've been sacked with?

"Slinky? That's not even related to my name!"

Yeah. I ran out of ideas.

"Here's a fun idea, mister narrator dude, how about you use my real name instead then?"

Eh, sounds boring. Anyway, Chalkboard Nails, are you gonna figure out a way to get out, or do I have to narrate in another deus ex machina for ya?

Also, forget about following the D&D session stuff. We're goin on our own route instead, with just a few things here and there taken from it.

"Like..."

Like this giant rusty mech that you're about to pass right over while you're still sacked!

"Wait what?"

Yeah, awesome, right? It's one of the last things we brought up before the online session died out!

Not Margarine lit her horn, summoning a table leg. Her namesake butter knife was gone for some mysteriously odd reason, so she was forced to use table legs instead because that is the title of this story.

Surprisingly, even to the narrator himself, Butter Knife was actually fine with it. She finally had her name be used once in this chapter and got another pointy sharp object, and the author got to write something inane and stupid again. It's a win-win situation!

"Ahem."

So anyway, Pointy Stick poked her way out of the potatosack, smelling quite a bit like baked potatoes. She also at some point in the process jabbed the pony that sacked her in the leg, so they were now somewhere over there in a bush wailing to their mommy. Did I mention that the bush is full of thorns, and is on top of the target location for an ultimate siege device?

Yeah, that guy's gone... for now.

So Cracked Mirror crawled out of the sack that sacked her in the sackening event of oh-sack, and decided to sack the other dude right back. Guess who's currently in priority mail headed straight to not-Ponyville hospital?

Oh and also, you're wearing such a beautiful gown right now! You'll surely be the talk of the town!

"Heck you."

Aww, heck you too.

What have we been doing this whole chapter? The only thing that's happened so far is you getting yourself out of a bag! We can't be that slow paced, can we?

"Indeed we can, dear narraor. I myself have been quite enjoying the relative tranqu--"

WRONG! Let's take this baby and kick the pacing up a notch!

"WAIT WHAT NO--"

OUT OF NOWHERE A LARGE BOULDER COMES HURTLING DOWN AT BUTTER KNIFE BUT BUTTER KNIFE WAS ABLE TO YEET IT BACK INTO OUTER SPACE WHERE ALL THE BAD SPACE ROCKS BELONG BECAUSE SHE SUDDENLY BECAME SUPRHERO AND SUPERHERO BUTTER KNIFE SAID NO NO NO NO MORE EXTINCTION EVENT LIEK DA DINOSAURS TODAY AND SO SHE YEETED THE BIG OL' HUNKA ROCK BACK INTO SPACE BUT THEN IT PINBALLED ACROSS A BUNCHA OTHER BIG OL' HUNKS OF SPACE ROCKS AND CAUSED A CHAIN REACTION THAT WOULD LEAD TO A BANANA SPLIT LANDING ON HER FACE.

"Excuse me, what?" Butter Knife muttered, wiping banana split from her face. "Also, you're using my real name again. That's goo--"

Only because I decided to use it while speed-narrating, sweetie.

"Don't you dare call me that again. I am the darkness that all ponies fear, the red shadow that is cast in the smoldering fires of destruction, the--"

Okay geez, I guet it, you're edgy. Can a guy just enjoy the end of MLP in peace?

"Wait what?"

You've been saying that a lot this chapter.

"What?!"

Yeah, your home universe? Or at least, the one it was based on. It's over.

Anyway, let's take a look at how those sky wolves are doing!

"Noooo!"

Yeeeeees!