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No real plot.. just clop, which doesn't make for a good fiction.

'A/N: This was written for the Equestria After Dark speedclop writing challenge, but I totally failed since I was only supposed to write for 69 minutes, but this took me a couple of hours to write. It contains clop! I’ve never written anything and posted it on the internet before, and I’ve never written fan fiction or clop fiction at all. But I figured this speedclop event was a good place for me to start, since low quality content is sort of expected already, so mine might not seem so bad. Anyway, here’s my attempt. I hope you like it!

Prompt: A Pony Swapping Sexes

This story takes place directly after the events of “Boast Busters.”'

That kills the mood before it's even set. Also, in your story description you should have had that it was part of a speedclop writing challenge, not in the beginning of the story. At most, it should have come at the end; where author's notes belong. Also, the reader doesn't care if this is your first story, or that you thought this would be a good idea on how to start writing. Again, if you feel it nessacary to put that in, then it should be in the author's note at the end of the fiction.

Technically, a mare growing a member doesn't equate to swapping sexes. They'd be in between a mare and stallion; like she-males in real life.

Don't tell us that it takes place right after Boast Busters, and don't tell us before the story even begins. Show us in the story. Have Trixie still thinking about her cart, which was basically her home. Have Twilight still a little indifferent to Trixie. Something that shows us instead of telling us.

I'm reading this story because of the blunt description. Trixie is grateful, so they have sex! sounds hilarious!

This was alright, but I have to agree with zaczac. It could be so much better.

However, the "Dick magic!" line was hilarious.

I'm not going to lie, that was pretty damn awesome. My favorite part was "DICK MAGIC"! You get a like from me

"The sexual pleasure had been doubled."

THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!

Also, "Trixie's true magic... DICK MAGIC"

Upvotez

Meh.
1 Like for u.

I'm liking this, though i'm not entirely sure why. Oh well.

I've also finally found a use for this:
chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/internet-memes-ive-got-the-strongest-boner-right-now.jpg

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So it's a story about Trixie getting stoned and having sex with the first mare she meets afterwards.
...
...
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Typical.

"Trixie now had a penis."

...
After twelve in development, hopefully it was the wait.

1071661

Thanks for all the tips! I think I'll go work on that right now.

1072001

Hahaha! Ah... puns.

Man, if I'd thought of that while I was still writing, that totally would've been mentioned at some point.

1071827

It's a magic trick AND the world's largest erection! Dick mages can do some cool stuff.

1071776

Thanks! Your feedback means a lot!

1071745

Thanks so much! Comments like this have pretty much convinced me to keep writing.

1072797 Not a problem, I love seeing new writers. Also, you might find a lot more help over here; School for New Writers. Hope to see you there.

There are two bits in this I love. The first paragraph and "That is how the Great and Powerful Trixie rests". You are one of the few writers who keeps her in character, clop aside.

1074053 Aw, thanks! I try.

I expexted this to be totally shameless, and it was.

You have a like for the "dick magic" line. Probably because it's almost plausable.

Dick magic. Yes.

*reads the description* wut? wait.. WHAT?!? I-i-i'm so confused! reading this RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. Can't wait to see how this turns out