Floor 1
November 7
When they woke up a few hours later, there were even more people in the city.
“Team up in pairs and look for quests,” Astro said as they ate breakfast. “They are major boosters for players. Especially starting out.”
They spread out, and searched around for a bit. Bladescape teamed up with Diemond and they entered a two story house. A woman was stirring a pot. She claimed all she had was water to give. Diemond suggested they accept the water so Bladescape said, “Water is fine.”
The Quest, Secret Medicine of the Forest, started.
They had to hunt those Little Nepenthes outside the town until a special one spawned with a flower on top. Killing it would get them the flower, and then they could bring it back so she could make medicine for her daughter. The reward was a one handed sword. They went back to the others with the information.
“Then, we need to activate the quest two more times,” Knightstar said. “I could use it and so could Thunderborne.”
“Then we set up in three parties,” Bladescape declared.
“I call Astro!” Thunderborne exclaimed. “The two of us can handle them.”
“Alright,” Bladescape said. “Diemond and Doombunny can come with me. Knightstar, Backbreaker, and AFCK can be the third team.”
“It’s going to have a low spawn rate,” Astro warned. “But I suggest we stay together in the area. And before we go, we need to go to that shop and have our gear repaired. As soon as one party gets the flower, we can adjust our parties back to fours.”
It was back out to the forest to the west of the city to hunt those nightmarish plants.
“RAAAGH!” Bladescape yelled as she severed the stalk of yet another beast. They had been been doing it for two hours and not a single plant had flowered. They all had leveled up to Level 3 and they had almost been swarmed a few times and killed. There was a third variation of the Little Nepenthes. It had a sack on the top. If you popped it, it spread a gas that attracted all the others in the area. After the first mistake, they were a lot more careful. Thankfully it had a low spawn rate.
Diemond and Backbreaker were useless outside of their shield. Their weapons were not very effective against the monsters. The same for Astro’s spear. Thunderborne’s Sprint skill was the only reason the two of them were doing so well.
A new Little Nepenthes spawned on the fringes of Bladescape’s vision. She noticed it because of her search skill. On it was the flower they needed. It was through the trees a bit more.
“Doom,” Bladescape yelled. “Finish those two with Diemond. I see one. I’ll get it while you two distract them.”
Bladescape dashed off through the bushes over to the flowering monster. One of the branches lashed out in a deadly strike. Bladescape slid along the ground, under the jab. She set her sword in the position for Horizontal as she came out of the slide. Her sword glowed and connected perfectly with the stalk. The plant reeled and Bladescape was able to drive another one home before she had to jump back out of the way.
Two more spawned in the area and She blocked another stab with a branch.
“AAAAARGH!!!!” Diemond yelled as she rammed her shield into the flowering plant.
Doombunny rolled out from behind Diemond and made three quick slashes at the stalk. The plant’s HP was almost gone. Bladescape leaped in and swept her sword a third time where it destroyed the last bit of HP left. The Little Nepenthes exploded in a burst of colorful polygons.
As Bladescape got the notification the flower dropped into her storage, Diemond was blocking another Little Nepenthes. This one had the deadly pouch off it.
“POISON SACK!” Bladescape yelled. “DON’T HIT IT!
Bladescape let the two of them handle that one while she faced off against the second. She deflected a stab by the vine and activated Horizontal. It was a clean strike to the weak point, scoring critical hit points against the plant.
A burst of polygons exploded behind Bladescape. She glanced back, checking that it wasn’t Diemond or Doombunny. Doombunny was crouched low in front of the burst. She had slipped in and done major damage with the knife. It was good to see her growing a backbone. She was going to need to be assertive to survive.
Bladescape took a vine stab full force. She had stopped paying attention. She watched the HP at on top of her vision slip into the red as her body hit the ground. The pain was quite real now that this was a game of death. One more hit and she was dead.
The plant pulled back and drove another stab at her.
THUD!
Diemond was leaping over Bladescape when the vine had connected with her shield instead of finishing off it’s target. Doombunny slid up to Bladescape.
“Oh Sunset, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” Bladescape got the vial to her lips with help from Doombunny and drank it down. Doombunny’s First Aid skill was only good for herself, but it still helped to have someone administer the potion to Bladescape. Her HP would slowly recharge. It wasn’t an automatic restoration.
“A little help here darlings,” Diemond said as she took two more heavy strikes on her shield. “Speed things up will you!”
All three of their health bars were in the yellow. Bladescape could see them in the top left hand corner of her vision because they were in a party.
“I’ll go right, you go left,” Bladescape ordered Doombunny.
Bladescape stumbled up and moved to the left. Doombunny had moved to right behind Diemond. Bladescape drove a solid Horizontal into the Little Nepenthes.
“Switch!” Bladescape called.
Doombunny was already in motion. She dashed out low, ducking under another strike from the leafy vine.
“AAAAHHH!!!” Her knife glowed purple and She cut across the stalk in a near perfect strike. Almost immediately it glowed again and she sliced backwards against in scoring a critical strike. Three more times she viciously slashed the stalk until it burst into polygons.
“Dang, Fluttershy,” Bladescape stammered. “You are earning your name.”
“You really think so?” She asked in her usual meager voice. It didn’t fit the ferocity they had just seen.
“Absolutely darling. You are not letting fear control you.”
“I keep asking myself what would Angel Bunny do? It’s why I named myself Doombunny. You know, a little extra umph along with bunny. He steered me in the right direction.” Doombunny froze. “Oh no! What will my animals do without me.”
“That’s what we are doing,” Bladescape said, putting her hand on Doombunny’s shoulder for support. “We are fighting hard to escape this game so you can go back to them. Family and friends will take good care of them while we are here.”
Doombunny took a deep breath in and exhaled sharply. “I will not stay in here for a day longer than I have to. I will become the strongest player for them! You know, if um, that’s okay. Because Rainbow Dash and Applejack want that.”
“Darling,” Diemond said pulling Doombunny in for a hug. “We all will become the strongest we can be in our own, individual, and special way. As much as those two will make it into a competition, its not so long as we stay together and support each other. We will become the strongest we can together, as a guild.”
“Enough sentimentality,” Bladescape said. “We need to get back to the others and support them. Diemond and Doombunny, go help Astro and Thunderborne. I’ll join the others.”
“Good plan!” Diemond exclaimed. “Even Dash has to be getting tired right now. I certainly am.”
They charged off to where there friends were fighting. Bladescape saw that Knightstar was fighting a Little Nepenthes on her own, using her shield and sword combination tactic to her own advantage. Backbreaker was holding off another with her shield and AFCK was hopping around, hacking a third to pieces. Even in game, her ability to bounce around was amazing. It was second nature to her. All three of them had low HP as well.
Backbreaker was focused on blocking her friends from getting swarmed. Knightstar wasn’t doing so well on her own, focusing on her shield too much. And AFCK could use a little more focus on attacks, rather than hops. When the plant in front of her exploded in a burst of polygons, Backbreaker was shocked. Relief set in when she saw that behind it was Bladescape.
“Go help Knightstar! I’ll deal with AFCK!” Bladescape said before dashing off towards her hopping friend.
“PINKIE!” Bladescape yelled. “Focus!”
“What! Oooooh, sorry. I keep forgetting this game, isn’t a fun game anymore.”
AFCK slid to a stop and parried the attacking vine. Bladescape took the opportunity to dash in with another Horizontal. The Little Nepenthes focused on her.
“SWITCH!” AFCK giggled as she hopped in and drove the axe home on the stalk’s weak point.
It exploded and the two of them rushed off to help Knightstar and Backbreaker. Backbreaker switched with Knightstar as she deflected a strike. Backbreaker’s war hammer connected with the stalk of the plant. It wouldn’t deal as much damage as a cutting strike, but it was enough to knock the last of the HP off the plant.
“Drink potions,” Bladescape said. “We need to bring our HP up while we have this lull. Then let’s go help the others.”
They heard the cheers of their friends as they moved out.
“WE GOT ONE!” Thunderborne announced to her friends, unsure of where exactly they were in the forest.
They all gathered around, and the others drank potions as they reorganized themselves into two parties of four. Their equipment was taking a beating, but they could hold out for a little bit longer.
“We leveled up,” Thunderborne said.
“So did we,” Bladescape added. “I think we all did, to Level 4. Doombunny is earning her name, for her animals she can’t protect and care for because she is trapped here.”
“Yes! I will become the strongest I can! I’ll do my best to be better than Dash and AJ. Oh, I mean Thunderborne and Backbreaker. If that’s alright?”
Thunderborne crossed her arms with a cocky smile. “Come on, Doombunny, we welcome the challenge. From all of you. Right, Backbreaker?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way, y’all,” Backbreaker said, trying to tip her nonexistent hat.
They all laughed at her failure. More of the beasts spawned in the area, ending their break.
“We need to cut down as many as we can,” Astro said. “Fight smart, work together, but we have to be aggressive.”
“I estimate that their flower variant spawn rate percentage is 1% or less,” Knightstar said. “But we got two of them. We can get this third in the next two hours if we work on it correctly.”
Bladescape was working in a pair with Knightstar while Backbreaker and AFCK were watching their backs. Bladescape and Knightstar were soon switching in and out in a good rhythm. They were dealing with a sack version and getting tired. Bladescape jumped back and got her blade in between her and the vine's strike for a rudimentary, unassisted, block. With a yell Knightstar switched in, finishing the plant.
“FLOWER!” Diemond yelled.
Bladescape nodded to Knightstar and they ran to where Diemond and Doombunny were working. “COMING!” Bladescape yelled back.
With the four of them they easily took down its HP. Diemond got a strong hit in right before Knightstar finished it off.
“RETREAT!” Bladescape ordered.
Everyone but Thunderborne and Astro joined them. Those two were beset by four beasts and were unable to retreat. They had been trying to fall back for a while, but they were pinned. Two of the Little Nepenthes had sacks. At least they had a stand of trees at their backs for security.
“WONDERCOLTS! CHARGE!” Bladescape ordered.
Their yells drew the aggro of two of the plants. With two less paying attention to them, Thunderborne quickly dispatched one with the sack and then eight on three immediately turned to eight on zero.
“Let’s go!” Bladescape panted. “No time to wait. We need to get back to the village’s safe zone.”
They followed Bladescape. Her search ability helped them avoid almost all of the beasts until they were back to the safety of the village.
“Ah, so good to be out of those woods,” Thunderborne panted. “I thought we were finished back there. I was solidly in the red.”
“Same,” Astro added.
They headed over to the woman who gave the quest. One by one they turned the flowers in. Each time she mixed it into the medicine she needed for her daughter and took it upstairs to her. The break was nice. In the end, Bladescape, Knightstar, and Thunderborne all had the Anneal Blade, a low level special sword with the ability to have 8 Enhancements added. Enhancements would require a strong enough smith to add them.
“It’s late,” Astro said as they exited the hut. The sun was almost gone. “We need to fix our gear, restock health potions, eat, and then head to bed. Besides, this place is getting busy. With eight of us and those new blades, we can move to the next town. There we can find new quests and higher level monsters.”
“I think we did pretty good for Col and XP,” Thunderborne said, looking at her menu.
“So do I, y’all,” Backbreaker added.
“We didn’t do badly,” Knightstar affirmed. “And their drop items were not shabby. But Astro is right. We need to move on as soon as we can. We did well taking out these monsters. The next will be tough, but with eight of us, the safety margin is decently high. And these Anneal Blade swords will certainly carry the three of us up quite a few levels.”
They got two rooms in the inn before they were all rented out. Dinner was meager. They bought the last of the potions available and then repaired their gear. It was another crammed night in the rooms. But it felt safe being together in the same room.
Bladescape (SS): Lvl 4 – One-Handed Sword - Search
Knightstar (TS): Lvl 4 – One-Handed Sword - Shield
Thunderborne (RBD): Lvl 4 – One-Handed Sword - Sprint
Backbreaker (AJ): Lvl 4 – Shield – One-Handed War Hammer
AFCK (PP): Lvl 4 – One-Handed Axe - Parry
Diemond (R): Lvl 4 – Shield - Mace
Doombunny (FS): Lvl 4 – Knife – First Aid
Astro (PS): Lvl 4 – Short Spear - Purchase Negotiation
Sometimes quests to defeat one specific enemy can be tiering, especially when they have a low spawn rate. At least it was worth it for everyone.
9834684
Absolutely! Questing can be a giant pain. I heavily borrow from my own MMORPG experience. I am glad you can see it and enjoy it. I also have the official english editions released for the Aincrad Arc and other stories in Aincrad to work with, as well as referring to the fan wiki for SAO to pick up the rarer stuff. I own all the books into the Aliconization Arc and I rewatched SAO quite a few times while writing.
The gang seems to be holding up so far, but then things have just started. They're just dealing with starter monsters so far, but they have the advantage of being in a group. After all, since 2000 of the 10,000 players died in the first month before they even got off the first floor, it means even the starting monsters can be deadly.
Here's hoping everyone keeps it together when they start seeing other players die...or when things really start to get dicy and the red players start showing up...
Also hope Astro keeps red out of her wardrobe... I can't be sure of course, but OC newcommer in an SAO story? Here's hoping she doesn't become the Wondercolt's personal Saji...
of course fluttershy would amer self afterr her demon rabbit
9987606
I wish I could claim full credit, but it's actually a reference from elsewhere about Angle Bunny being Doombunny. It was stuck in my head, and the lore for the name just came together. I could see Angel rapping his foot and shaking his head until she added Doom instead of just Bunny.
I’ve never played MMORPGs; do English speaking players actually say “switch” during play? Why do melee players switch out anyway? And why are the girls familiar with this practice; aren’t they new to RPGs? If not, what have they played before?
10058254
That’s an SAO specific thing. Basically, the frontline distracts the enemy then switches places with the backline for damage
10103410
Actually, it's not a new thing. While SAO takes gaming to a whole new level, the basic tactic has been employed in most MMORPGs. Specifically ones that you need teamwork to tackle large dungeons. I have never played WOW, but apparently it is used there. The more control we have over characters. The more we teamwork to fine-tune raiding parties and jobs, knowing when to let someone jump in and you step back out of the front line is key. This also works in shooters where you are working in a strong team. One draws fire, the others maneuver, etc
Hammering in Flutter's motivation to play a bit heavy here. I realize that she'd need more motivation to participate in the game then the others but I don't think you needed to have her give her "For my critter pals I'll be the best I can be!" speech twice. Maybe should have kept that in your back pocket for a later story arc. Needs more show, less tell.
10219316
Noted! Serious, it was jotted down. I can see myself doing a rewrite of this.
This doesn't seem to be a story up my ally but before I go I'll leave a bit of constructive criticism on how you started this chapter as paragraphs of this chapter were pointless.
starting with stating that they woke up, if this was the middle of a chapter then that makes sense, but seeing as this is the start of a chapter and last chapter ended with them going to sleep it obvious that they'd wake up at some point and unless something specific happened when they woke up, (like it finally setting in that they are actually stuck in a game and it's not a dream, cliché yes but cliché are used a lot 'cause they're effective storytelling tools,). then the paragraph where they say they're splitting up to find quests also had little point. really you could have started the chapter with Bladescape and Diemond walking threw town looking for quest, thrown in a line it was more crowded, maybe dive in a bit to what Diamond is feeling about being stuck in the game.
Next we have the worst written part of the chapter:
Why did they randomly enter a house? was the door ajar, did they hear the kid coughing and go check it out? no, they just walked in. for someone like thunder or astro who know a bunch about games they might go looking in every little place for quests but it doesn't seem like these 2 would know to do that. this part isn't that good but not outright bad, just rushed.
But then you have that next part, "A woman was stirring a pot." alright that's a brief description of what they found. "She claimed all she had was water to give." why is she "Claiming to have water to give."? why not just offer them some water? heck why is this written like a police report, with short actions jotted down? why not make this a short scene where they enter the house and find this woman NPC who offers them water? "Diemond suggested they accept the water so Bladescape said, “Water is fine.”" here you have them say their okay with water before saying again that they're okay with water. this little sentence long mention of discussion about taking the water doesn't need to be here, especially when someone like Rarity would likely just accept the water imidiatly to be polite, something that would likely carry over to here as Diemond.
And finally the random, "The Quest, Secret Medicine of the Forest, started." this literally comes out of no where, they just accepted water how did that lead to a quest? the npc didn't say anything about a sick kid or making medicine they just offered water, this is another reason this should have been a short scene instead of a short form note jotting, you could have had bladescape and Diemond follow along the game dialog into getting the quest but instead it just happens randomly right here.
Now all this is small stuff that probably doesn't effect too many people enjoyment of the story as a whole but all these little thing in a short burst definitely took me personally out of the story. but hey, don't take that personally, I'm just a single idiot on the internet while over 300 people seem to like your story well enough. it's just not for me and i thought you might like a bit of constructive criticism on what someone who didn't enjoy your writing to much thought you went a bit wrong.
That's it for me, good luck in you future writings.
10927714
Thank you for the constructive criticism. This chapter didn't have an editor, so I know it could be tighter in areas. I have one now.
The pacing feels a little fast, and I don’t know why you felt the need to add an OC in and have the gang refer to each other by in-game names all the time, if they all know each other then it’s a pretty redundant thing to be doing.
11051520
The pacing feels fast because this was originally designed to be 10, maybe 20, adventure chapters with the girls doing stuff in Aincrad, but not taking center stage and staying with SAO canon. It was shortsighted at the start for what it became. I ended on 100 chapters. I needed an 8th for just that, because a party caps at 6. With 8, it gives them two parties of 4, rather than a party of 4 and 3, or 5 and 2. It rounded out my combat styles as well. I needed it purely for the extra hand.
I'm doing a rewrite/alt-U version where it is a true crossover, Ruby Palace, which is being written. The pacing will be better, among other things I decided later I wanted to approach differently. Aincrad is a great story, but there were some things I wanted to do differently and couldn't because the story changed from small, to large.
Let's hope they don't pop it, or they'll go through what Asian went through!
Good timing Rar- I mean Diemond!
Hopefully someone has it taken care of for you.
That's the spirit!
And here I thought Twilight was the only one who hasn't gotten used to the fact she isn't wearing her glasses and now it's AJ and her Stenson.
11453929
Yes, I do try and mix in the learning curve of no glasses or hats or what they are used to.