Nothing ever goes well with Spike when trying to tell Rarity how he feels or even woo her. Even though he has the caught attention of his 6 closest friends but is to dense to pick up on their advances. He always thinks that he is the most unluckiest dragon in the world or even the entire universe when trying to pour his whole heart out to Rarity. But what happens when he finds out he isn't the only who has/have struggled.
Also Spike is aged up in this story. He is only three younger than the main six.
Also, Also I couldn't figure what title to give this so I just came up with this title.
Chapters (2)
Cant wait to see more!
(dont worry i can wait
9807773
Yes I've seen the some of the images and leaks of the last episode all I got to say who knows all I know is Spike could've have more given than what he got
9807773
Also when did I message you first I don't have records when I send you a message
9808455
I was think thinking we fans should've just let him be a background character maybe then he would have something
9808718
explain how tho, it just shows spike still friends, no kid, no ring o_o
9809985
huh actually u right about that not bad didn't think of it that way especially for gen5, but in gen 5; was actually thinking about that the other day what happens to spike then, does he go on to gen 5 or not cause they've only showed just the 6 of them
also, I just noticed it yesterday because I didn't see her butt mark but I didn't know pinkie and cheese got a kid that's crazy.
another point im trying to suggest is how long has it been, all four of them look like they've aged but not much and twi is already the size of celestia which bugs me cause luna wasn't at that point yet and flurry is her size I believe if the glass pic in the background makes it look it that way. But it makes it more confusing for me cause rarity and sugarbelle have gray hair which makes me think were they the oldest of their generation??
9810672
idk because all of their parents except for AJ they weren't that old and none of them had bags on their eyes, even gray hair wasn't displayed except maybe for fluttershys dad can't remember all of them tbh
The story premise is good, but you really need a proofreader or beta reader. There are many grammatical mistakes that made me pause in the middle of reading, breaking up the flow of the story and ruining the immersion.
Yea, i could have reread this but i didnt my mistake. But i do need a proofreader or beta reader; never heard of a beta reader.
Great update!
hmm looks like spike caught the eye of more than one mare. hehe
I wonder how all of it will eventually caught up with him.
Im excited for what comes next
9882612
thanks, but idk about the others who has caught his attention but i'll think of something, also the next chapter will continue where they are going, like i said before it was suppose to be part of this.
Good start so far, but, I would recommend not writing it like your describing a television episode. If you're wanting to write in third person, I would recommend starting out by focusing on one character to be the main character, that way the readers know how that character is feeling or what they're thinking to help make us want to root for that character.
10127055
ok look, i can figure out any type of scenario that can happen it just comes to me, easily if its not good i change to another thing, not hard for me to change. the problem is what to write for responses. I suck at writing out characters dialogue, im on the 3 ch still!!!! and i already know how its gonna plan out but like i said before me writing there dialogue kinda sucks. booo
10127055
but hopefully this time its a bit better just tell me about it when you read it
Not a bad story, i can't wait to find-out what happens.
10402057
thanks for the comment, i keep trying to update