Slippin' On By

Equestrian Automobile Association102 stories ·116 members

Rainbow Dash wasn't sure what to expect when Rarity called her, asking for a ride in the middle of the day. When it becomes clear that what Rarity needs is more than just a pick up, Rainbow takes her on a drive. Maybe what she finds at the end of the trip will be exactly what Rarity needs.

Editing by SolidFire

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Comments ( 8 )

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PlaguesDemise

PlaguesDemise #1 · Apr 18th, 2019 · 1 · ·

and its four o' clock in the mornin and all the people have gone away.

djthomp

djthomp #2 · Apr 19th, 2019 · 3 · ·

“Yeah, I guess.” Sneakers kicked at the gravel again, and Rainbow winced when she accidentally banged her heel into the pristine bumper of her car. “So what do I have that they don’t?”
“You move, you don’t think.”

It's a talent.

Bad Horse

Bad Horse #3 · Apr 19th, 2019 · 3 · ·

There are lots of wonderful descriptive details and great word choices in this story. Like,

“Nothing, Rares,” Rainbow said, flicking her gaze back to the right. Rarity hadn’t said a word since they’d left the java place fifteen minutes ago, and the uncharacteristic silence from her passenger had been eating away at Rainbow the entire trip. Or maybe it was the spent tears ruining her friend’s makeup. Or maybe it was just Rarity’s constant fidgeting, her left knee bouncing up and down in the corner of Rainbow’s eye.

... it's perfect that Rainbow calls her Rares, that she calls it "the java place" instead of naming it. And "flicking" tells us a lot more about how Rainbow's handling the situation than "looking" would.

Fluid Apple

Fluid Apple #4 · Apr 19th, 2019 · 1 · ·

9575564
I agree. Keeping other places besides the main scene vague keeps the story going in the right direction. Sometimes there's no need to divert the reader's attention from the current scene.

Therizzen

Therizzen #5 · Apr 20th, 2019 · 2 · ·

It's easy to compare Slippin' On By with this fiction because they share such a similar concept and characters (and were posted within two days of each other), but your narrative features a far less prickly pair of friends. This feels very calm and chill, and Rainbow Dash seems content to let Rarity dictate the pace.

I'm always glad to see Rainbow gain a little depth beyond her typical headstrong persona. She doubts herself too much, I think, and this affirmation of her value in such a foreign situation helps bolster her own sense of self-worth just as much as it does Rarity. This was a pleasant little slice of friendship. Thanks for sharing it.

RoboRed

RoboRed #6 · Apr 21st, 2019 · 1 · ·

I really liked the level of detail going on in this fic. From the bits of traffic in the beginning (damn soccer moms) to the ambient nature and roadside traffic noises and Dash's car.

MixMassBasher