The day was perfect, Applejack had just finished the last day of applebuking season, and was going to go and enjoy some time with her friends. But when Wynona gets on her nerves, she yells at her. How will she feel when she discovers that her dear friend is gone? There may be nothing she can do but to look for her, and try to fix everything up.
First fic and story I have ever writted, comment, any feedback is appreciated, English is not my native language so if you notice anything please point it out so I can fix it
I wrote this after an accident took away from me one of my dogs,
The first day I came home after 4 months and she was gone.
In memory of “Belly” one of the best companions I ever had
Image by skunkiss http://skunkiss.deviantart.com/art/Applejack-and-Winona-269337197
I liked it. The story was meaningful to you, and that is very important for readers to remember. More often than not, people will assume that a short story with emotion in it is just a sad-fic that had been knocked off in a short time, but they seem to miss the whole point of it. You can't recognize and feel other ponies emotions if you don't have empathy. If you read the fic from the eyes of an outsider, it may seem dumb, or stupid, but if you read it from the eyes of the writer, it becomes very meaningful to everyone.
I'm sorry about your dog. My dog seems to be on her last legs as well, and I intend to do the exact same thing (write) when she passes.
Just remember. This story is for you more than it is for any other reader, don't worry what we think.
Hm, this was a good story, although I think when the characters are talking, it should
"look some what like this"
And you should use
"This type of typing" For when the characters, PRACTICLLY yelling, or thinking
Losing a pet is the worst thing you could ever go through. They may be just animals to some people, but to us, they'll always be our family.
English isn't your native Language, so I'll forgive the errors. But I'll still point the big ones that I noticed.
You forgot to ALWAYS capitalize the characters names in some parts and misspelled them in others.
Your missing some punctuation during conversations.
Now I can't blame you, considering you were writing Applejack's dialogue (Which is a nightmare to me.) But you gotta be careful not to write with her country accent in mind unless you're only using it for her speeches or thought process.
It's one of the easier mistakes to make. So don't worry too much.
1087567>>1087606>>1087804
tell me, it will be nice to have someone who is native with englis to help me fix it,\
tnkz a lot people, im going to get into story the later and fix everything you have told me so far, i know i have a lot of errors and 1087861 i know writting applejack is the hell on earth, its just so hard to write how she talks.
If anybody knows someone who can help me fix some other things of the story, grammar, punctuations and the like plz plz plz
overall tnkz for reading and for the coments
It was an excellent story.
The one thing I -really- noticed is a lack of capitalizing names.
1092538 fixed and tnkx for reading
1093934 Amazing story. You did pretty well with your English. A few minor errors here and there but as you said English is not your native language. Well done