She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.
It is afternoon in Ponyville, but it is not yet Twilight time.
As Ponyville prepares for the Summer Sun Celebration, a young colt runs errands. There is much to do before the darkness comes.
This is an independent story, with no connections to anything.
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Good to see what you've been working on finally get published. It's nice to see you step outside the Weedverse once in a while (though I do very much enjoy said 'verse), and Pre-Sparkle Ponyville is woefully unexplored
There are way to few pre-show stories
Good on you
Kudzu... You do so many things right.
I'm a quiet reader. You've seen me comment a few times for the funny comment or the curious question.
But this one did things to me. The effort you put into this must have been astronomical, and cannot be understated.
Just... this was... really... I honestly can't put into words how much I loved this.
edit (now I can into words!):
All of your works have this great sense of progress that you can feel as you read through each chapter. It's some kind of pacing that I don't see resonate strongly in any other author. Afternoon in Ponyville is just... everything I see in that progress. This one gave me that electrifying elation of varying my emotions as I went through. You have a fine control over your pacing and characterization, and this small gem is all of that and more. There's so much to dig into here, and I have high hopes for finding the time to come back to this again, and again, and again. I'm on a word high, and you're my preferred dealer. Keep. It. Coming. I live for this.
In fact, I'm going to let this settle for a few minutes. Then, it'll be time to read again.
edit 2:
Kudzu... after rereading... I can only say thanks. Thanks so much for this. You've really turned my mind into a flickering firefly with this.
I just realized like AJ said, they dont want an orphanage cause that would look bad on the town. You know what would be worse? A dead orphan. That is why everyone atound town gives him simple odd jobs. They know he won't come home with them so they do this instead.
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They give him as much as he will accept. Sometimes traumatic experiences can hold a person back from being able to accept more.
But if a bit of butter makes it better, what would a bigger better bit of better butter make it be?
9465435
Thanks for saying this so well! As the one that gets to hunt down the typos, and therefore read it first, I always feel so inadequate when I even try to think of how to offer a bit praise to Kudzu.
oh that was fantastic, I very much liked it, I liked the feel of it, the way the character had to just take things in, but still tell us what he thought and other things I'm too tired to think of how to explain. It was very good and I liked it very much.
9465501
I hate you right now (not really)... we used to have to repeat that daggone tongue twister in the Theater department in college...
This was wonderful.
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I feel the same way whenever I go to give an honest comment about or on one of Kudzu's works! It's difficult to find a soapbox to stand on when you're already being shocked and awed into a stupor. What more can you really say to build on the seemingly immeasurable experience you just had?
Thanks for the words and thanks for helping make this story happen!
I was a bit skeptical, 16k on a one-shot with no tie ins felt like a lot of commitment. After reading it I couldn't help but love it, all the small details, Oak's perspective on everything and his reactions to the world around him, how he deals with his old hurts. There's a million things I'd like to say about how great this was but I'll leave it at this, for the first time in quite a while i felt genuine tears from a story and THAT is an accomplishment.
This the best new word I have added to my vocabulary in a long time.
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I hope you feel a bit better soon
I really enjoyed seeing everything's perspective from broken oaks view
Thoroughly enjoyable, and vague enough for you to wonder about the outcome.
You remember what I said in response to that blog post of yours about still being hard at work?
Pure.
Pony.
Crack!
loved it! this gotta circulate more
Yep... This looks good.
:3
So much beauty in this one-shot. So much color and warmth.
And I'm glad that someone else shares my 'more butter, more better' life philosophy
This whole thing was a pleasure to read from start to finish.
So beautiful and touching.
An enjoyably relaxing read. Thank you.
This was amazing and wonderful. I loved how all this is going on just before Twilight shows up, before the big moment.
That said, there was one truly terrifying moment the actually kinda scared me. When Celestia said this:
It would be interesting to see their lives post Twiscension.
As always, everything with and about your Celestia is wonderful to read. That part with Pinkie seeing her cry at the Summer Sun Celebration, and the misinterpretation or cluelessness that ties into what is said to Broken Oak was heartbreaking.
And this story is an amazing exploration of Ponyville and the potential it already holds.
Broken Oak is a very likeable lead indeed, and his mind an interesting one to be privy to. We are the only ones that know his thoughts, because he is mute. It does instill a certain sense of privilege.
9466788
Is it post Twiscension? Celestia makes multiple references to something returning to the castle soon. I think this is right before the first episode's summer sun celebration.
I often think the greatest bits of storycrafting are the ones that weave themselves inside and out of canon stories, whether with an OC or a background character that has blank pages waiting to be filled.
No wonder it was a lot of work. The good stories are rarely easy to channel to actual writing, especially when your leads are written from scratch.
I love it, I always love how you “voice” your characters
Rather reminds me of the titular book of The Diamond Age: Or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer, by Neal Stephenson. Or the grimoires of Black Clover for newcomers, but The Diamond Age came decades earlier.
Excellent story!
9466837
You are correct, this story is set pre-S1E1. I'd just like to see how the happy(?) couple is doing post Twiscension.
Fully enjoyed this. The character development is well done. Thiugh it seems fast, you realise its been building up for a while and Broken Oak just didn’t realize it until this point, or he was actually fighting against it subcontiously because of his own past hurt.
Delivering excellence, as always.
You write the most interesting characters. And some of the best interpersonal interactions.
Very relaxing! Settling into a slower story pace gives each word this meditative quality. Getting lost in the beautiful verbage was just effortless.
Also--
Goin' for my feels here, man!
Dude this was absolutely amazing. Never stop writing, the world would be far worse without your stories. (well at least my world)
Twice.
I gotta read this again, just to take it all in. Give me a moment.
A very warm, rich story... I enjoyed Broken Oak’s awakening maturity in regards to Shrinking Violet, the portraits of the Mane 5 before the show, and especially the visit with a Celestia burdened by all of her baggage, and how all of these elements tied together. The version of Celestia you offered was a true high point, and leaves me wanting nothing more than to continue to follow this portrayal far longer through the events to come.
Great job!
I had to come back and read it again. Now I love it even more than I did the first time...
peeps gotta spread this to more peeps. too good.
That's probably one of the best Celestias I have ever read. Just great work all round.
I loved it. it's making me think well what happens next to broken oak
Yes I liked the characters and the insight of into Princesses Celestia’s pain. The tradgedy of the two sisters is the foundation stone for the entire MLP phenomenon.
A beautyfull story and well written as usual.
I hope more is coming...
A cute story, and a nice intro for readers who want to understand your writing style but aren't ready to dive into the Weedverse.
The ability you have with words routinely leaves me speechless. I'm left wanting to know more and at the same time fearing the answers to my questions the way you were able to characterize Broken oak without any dialogue on his part so good.
I'm late to the party, but this was something else. I don't really have a frame of reference for the subject matter luckily, but you still feel it. The way you combined it with the show is very impressive. I also really appreciate the subtle and slow reveal regarding Broken Oak. Both him and Shrinking Violet, although we don't have that much time with them, are interesting characters. All in all, I enjoyed reading this very much indeed.
it's a good piece kudzu, the interaction between him and celestia is great.
Thank you for this fantastic slice of life. This leaves off at just the right point to let the imaginatation freely carry forward into an infinity of possibilities of where their lives may go.
9466413
Have you read Superman/Shazam: First Thunder? That line from Celestia really reminded me of one amazing line from Superman.