World
Changelings, the most secretive race of the world, and the most advanced. One of the many things that are unknown to the world is that all the world leaders are changelings, all except one. Celestia.
The newest Queen of the royal line tried to change this. For two hundred years she attempted assassinations, political sabotage, setting countries against each other in wars, and using the Changelings own highly advanced technologies to replace her and control the sun. But none of it worked, and so the arrogant royal attempted one last thing... something that goes against the Changelings very nature and everything that they have ever been taught... A direct assault, an invasion...
Only to fail again, and this time the world knew of her goals. The Changelings were thrust upon the world stage in the worst way possible. The countries of the world were now on the hunt for any Changelings that might be hidden among them, the leaders of the world found out and killed or imprisoned.
The war had begun...
Accidents
11 Years Before the Invasion
Prince Thorax, the younger of the two children of the queen, was in the Robotic Replacement and Organic Management Facility. He was meant to meet the head of The R.R.O.M.F. in order to get training in leadership and to know how the systems of the hive work. The problem was that Termite was late, or at least that was what he thought until he looked at the clock and saw that he was more than an hour early. Prince Pharynx decided to mess with him it seemed.
*sigh*"Come on it's been an hour already." Thorax complained to himself, looking at the computer and robotics systems a thought came to him, he could start looking things over himself. He was rather good at self training after all.
Thorax glanced between the computer and the clock and saw that he still had around an hour left before Termite would be here. So he went up to the computer and started to look through it.
Active Artificial Replacements
Inactive Artificial Replacements
Processing Artificial Replacements
In Process Artificial Replacements
Thorax cast one last glance at the clock and blindly opened one of the files and began to scroll through it.
In Process Artificial Replacements
Ferris Mayfly
Lost Page
Sweetie Belle
Ink Pot
Choosing a name that stuck out to him most he clicked on Sweetie Belle and opened the file.
Replacement in progress/ Overview required/
Soul Meld... 100% Stable/
Disguise... 0% Progress/
Organic Age... Birth In Progress/
Artificial Age... 12 Months
There was a number of other code overviews but Thorax ignored them and went to the one he knew the least about to try and learn from it, the Soul Meld. He once again opened a file and searched it.
All he saw was an endless amount of ever shifting green zeros, ones, and twos. Not knowing what to do with this he began typing in random commands. This continued until the twos shifted from green to red and an alarm went off over head. Thorax began to panic and try to undo what ever it was that caused the alarm.
"Oh no no no, uh. Undo, ctrl z, ctrl alt delete, YES!" Thorax cheered as the alarm turned off and he rebooted the system to see what damage was done.
Active Artificial Replacements
Inactive Artificial Replacements
Processing Artificial Replacements
In Process Artificial Replacements
"Come on come on..." Thorax whispered
In Process Artificial Replacements
Ferris Mayfly
Lost Page
Sweetie Belle
Ink Pot
How ever before the last file and set of codes could load Termite and a number of other systems managers and guards burst into the over sized work area and Thorax was forced to close the system and face them before he could read it.
Replacement in progress/ Overview required/
Soul Meld... 65% Unstable/
Disguise... 80% Progress Unfinished/
Organic Age... 1min
"Prince Thorax what's going on in here?" Termite asked when he saw him.
"O-oh, i-it was nothing. I j-just accidentally pushed a wrong button." Thorax quickly explained, an attempt at a wining smile on his face. "But I-I was able to fix it. N-no problems."
Termite gave him a skeptical look but decided that if it was Pharynx he would have something to worry about, but Thorax was the good child so he simply dismissed it. "Alright then." Termite's gruff voice rang out. "Everyone to your stations, we got a prince to train."
Accidents
When Thorax entered the Replacement Overview System
"AHHharg"
"Alright Mrs Crumbles, push. And there is the beautiful little girl." The Changeling disguised as a doctor said as he lifted up the foal for the parents to see. "Now just let us get her cleaned up and check her health and we will bring her right back to you."
Both the doctor and one of the nurses took the foal out of the room and down the hall. They looked around to make sure that no one was watching them and ducked into an employ only elevator and punched in a code that took them to a secret basement.
In the secret basement they passed the actual doctor and nurse stuck in temporary cocoons and met with two undisguised Changelings that were holding a small foal sized android. The 'nurse' and the undisguised changeling not holding the android walked up to each other touched horns and began a well rehearsed, complicated, and permanent spell meant to finish the Soul Meld. They pulled apart from each other and brought their magic connected horns to there respective foal sized objects casting a disguise far more complicated than any normal disguise, Changeling or otherwise, on the android and connecting its computing system and the foals mind.
The two pairs then proceeded to switch payloads, the undisguised using a portal spell to go back to the hive and the false doctor and nurse making their way back to their 'patient'.
Back in Mrs. Crumbles room they hoofed the 'foal' back to her parents and told them that her health was perfect.
As Cookie Crumbles held her newborn in her fore hooves her husband, Hondo Flanks, walked in with their older daughter, Rarity.
"She's so pretty." Said young Rarity.
"Just like her older sister." Hondo said.
As the three of them were looking at the foal the newest family member decided to wake up, and shock every one. The irises of her eyes looked like green segmented triangles with a polygonal pupil. They all sat there staring at each other until the foal began to cry in want of a meal revealing that her voice had an unplaceable (to the ponies in the room) undertone to it that would be best described as mechanical.
The two disguised Changelings in the room recognized both the eyes and the undertone as an improper Soul Meld and shared a glance full of worry. The nurse left in order to get help from the hive as the doctor went to the parents to try and control the situation.
"Mr. Flanks, Mrs. Crumbles, as you can see and hear there are some things that are... different about your daughter. With the systems we have here they do not read as a problem to her over all health." Said the 'doctor'. "However there are a number of ways to... correct these... anomalies."
"What are you saying?" Hondo asked with a narrowed gaze.
"Well, what I mean is that we can fix the probl-" The Changeling doctor cut off as Hondo got in his face.
"There is nothing wrong with our daughter. It doesn't matter if she is a little different, it makes her unique."
"Well th-that is true," Began the now flustered false pony "however there could be uh, unknown side affects to her.. uniquatie. So while we won't do anything without your consent, there is a specialist that I can point you to that often handles similar situations."
"Alright then, you make a good point." Hondo said looking at his wife and seeing a little worry. Turning back to the doctor he calmly added. "We will take you up on the offer to see this specialist."
Nine and a Half Years Later
Sweetie Belle sat in the waiting room with her mother, boredly waiting for the nurse to call her for her bimonthly checkup with Dr. Pins'n'Needles, wishing that she could just skip this and go to school instead with how boring it was here.
*sigh*"Maybe next time." She said under her breath, the slight maniacal wir to her voice barely noticeable.
Interesting.... Do go on o.o
9456639
I intended to.
I just have no clue were to go with this cause the only thing I can think of right now is the prologue.
Creative juices are needed.
Not bad I would like to see where this goes
Not going to lie, the last bit of the description makes it sound like some one tinkers with the systems and gains control to program however they want.
Basiclly this could go clop very easily.
A fun way of gaining love.
9456667
Soooooo~ Would that be Carrot Juice, Starberry Juice or OH! Mango Juice? :3
As for the story though... The first and simplest plot points i could see would be The changelings and their tech being revealed in your version of Starlight's victory against Chrysalis, Thus causing everyone to figure out that Sweetie bot isn't actually Sweetie belle ''Per say'' and then spinning off into an adventure of self discovery where Sweetie will have to discover who she really is o.o
Or you could go wacky/crazy and have Sweetie bot turn out to be a prototype bot that ends up joining the Equestrian military to hunt down the tech savvy changeling to restore the world XD A bit of an Anime classic xD
Though You also have the Slice of life tag... So i guess you could let the changelings and world politics take a back seat and instead focus on the challenges Sweetie bot is going to have growing up looking so different from others o.o Like how does her classmates treat her? Why would the CMC be the ones to accept her? WOULD they accept her? Would Sweetie struggle with some emotions due to her unstable soul meld? Would she be capable of falling in love? What would her relationship with her sister be once ponies start to realize she might not be ''Natural''
Your idea has so many potential routes it could go, honestly i think the biggest problem would be picking a route and STICKING to it XD
Maybe Pick a scene to work towards? Do you want an end scene where Sweetie is standing victorious and free of the Changelings control? Or do you want a scene where an older more grown up Sweetie is taking care of her own family? (and do you want them to be ''real'' or bots?)
In the absolute worst case you could technically just try to adapt MLP show's storyline to your own AU xD Would be interesting to see Spike and Thorax become friends in this AU XD
Anyways~ Rant over xD Keeping an eye on what you decide to do with this, even if you decide not to do anything at all it is still a nice idea that deserves having been brought to page XD
So...what happened to the original baby?
9456953
Thank You
9457055
Well, I myself hadn't thought of that, but the idea is in my head now.
9457244
Comments like this one are the reason I enjoy the comments section on this sight. Also I did have a small idea but your comment has given my a long term goal to reach.
9457352
R.R.O.M.F. (Robotic Replacement and Organic Management Facility)
In order to have a proper Soul Meld the organic being must stay alive (In this case Sweetie Belle is our organic being), with a proper soul meld unless the systems are overwritten whatever the android dose is what the organic being would be doing if they had not been replaced. In other words every pony or other being that have been replaced and are still in there natural life cycle are in the Organic Management part of the 'Hive'
A Soul Meld allows the androids to pass as living things in thing such as life detecting spells and such.
A proper soul meld with two organics would allow the sharing of magic through a link and a shared mind, a 'hive mind' if you will
The case with Sweetie Belle is that a mistake was made during the soul meld and her parents have already seen it and therefore the best they can do is manage her to make sure it doesn't get worse
Half of this is things I already planed to have in the story the other half was made up on the spot.
9457454
So the pony has to stay alive and well to maintain the facade. Right.
What happens to them in the hive?
9457472
All I will say is cocoons, other wise this might delve into spoiler territory
I cannot help but feel this is a horrible sysadmin. You have alarms going off. You have someone that is not trained insisting that he pressed the wrong button, somehow knows this, and somehow fixed it -- and you aren't going to check?
For that matter, if the person was able to alter something that critical, did you just not have any permissions set properly? Were you logged in as root?
9457454
you are welcome.
9457581
Hmm, I guess that I could have gone into more detail (and I might go back to edit the part you pointed out) but there are a number of things that I intend to reveal in the story that stopped me from putting to much there at the time.
after thought/ how advanced the Changelings are is not meant to hidden from the readers, so simply put they are more advanced than our current society and most advancements to the world are caused by changelings leaking info or out right making them there self so as to have a decent grip upon the world and what goes on in it.
Yeah I'm going to go back and edit that probably later today.
9457639
Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that this isn't very possible, or even that far off from what I've seen in the real world.
I've worked with bad sysadmins.
9457640
Not a problem, but there is still a likelihood of me going back to edit in order to show how advanced the Changelings are.
9457454
Happy to hear that ^^ Just remember that there are countless more ways your story could go :3 You can even tell more than one story within it XD
But most of all remember to have fun writing YOUR story ^w^
This is certainly a different take on the usual Sweetie Bot stories! It sounds like you're not sure where to go, and there were some decent suggestions in the comments.
I recommend coming up with a basic plot outline. Make the skeleton of the story, what specific events and characters you want to have in it, maybe a couple ideas on how you want it to progress and end. If you just write a story without a plot in mind, I fear it'll stall out like many great stories on this site. You've already got a nice hook and have drawn me in. The alt universe setting seems like it could be quite interested if developed. I look forward to seeing what you do with it!
Unusual start, full of promise. Lots of risky moves here, but if you pull them off it'll be amazing.
This story seems awesome! It reminds me of those scholastic adventure stories! Your story even helped me get some of my creative mango juices going! Awesome story and great idea!
You should also get an editor :P imo.
9463337
Unusual and out of the ordinary was what I was going for
9468733
Is that an offer? Cause I don't exactly have the money to pay anyone for that yet.
9468733
9469447
Also for mango juices!
9468733
Mango juices? Your avatar is a bird but are you actually a bat(pony)?