- Member Since 18th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Aug 17th, 2021
Dementia Ravenmane
I'm just a simple horse trying to make my way through the universe. People say I'm bad at writing happy endings.
Dementia Ravenmane
Joined 18th Dec, 2012 ·
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- ElDee · 244k words · 145 5 · 3.9k views
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Not a bad little story. The concept is pretty good. Difficult to grow a real connection to the characters over such a short story though.
9424785
That's a fair point, I'm still trying to improve how I write characters.
9425040
Yeah, unfortunately I don't think I'd do any better if I tried myself so it's difficult to leave helpful, constructive feedback. IT is a great concept for a short story though and to be fair a short one shot isn't too bad for FoE, a genre where tings can get huge very quickly.
9425766
Yeah, it was originally written specifically to feel like an Fo:E story without being an epic spanning hundreds of thousands of words.
Did you win the writing competition?
9427682
Unfortunately not.
well heck
9431348
Is that a positive or a negative heck?
Nicely written, very poignant.
9738632
I'm glad to hear that! Was there anything in particular that stuck out as either strong or weak?
9747610
The characterization was nicely done, considering how little time was spent with these two overall! Felt like this was a brief glimpse of characters who could've had a full-length story of development already. I think you really succeeded in that aspect.
This was great. Thanks for writing.
9753525
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Nice one.
these motherfuckers literally beat Mr. Freeze XD