In Equestria, wrongdoing is generally punished proportionately. Misbehaving foals are scolded or grounded or spanked. Enemies of ponykind are destroyed or turned to stone or imprisoned forever in Tartarus. In neither case is any formal process of law involved.
But filly villain Cozy Glow is a special case that crosses the lines - her fate will be decided in court. The charges are piled up pretty high, too - at least she has a decent lawyer?
Note: Yukito already has a much funnier story by this title, but I honestly couldn't think of a more appropriate one and the system let me post it (perhaps because they have different tags)? So if you'd like to see a comedic take on the subject, check it out, maybe compare (just don't forget I'm a first-time writer).
Okay, this story is pretty interesting so far, and also a breath of fresh air over those 'she's just an innocent child, take pity on her' stories that seem to be all over the place. This one took all of her crimes with the severity they deserved, and also made Cozy Glow feel in character so far, and didn't sugarcoat her psychopathic nature. So good on you.
Also, the way you described her prison, it's interesting how you made Tartarus of all places feel like a preferable alternative.
Looking forward for the actual trial to start.
9427242
Thank you for commentating! (You're pretty much my first!) The show kind of downplayed the consequences (pegasus magic, for instance, didn't seem affected) but even the first incident we saw was a near enough miss that it's hard to believe three more days of it wouldn't be fatal to somepony. And when you think of it that way, even canon's take makes a bit more sense...
(Now on my Fics I'm Probably Not Equipped to Write list - a story where a genuinely Starlight-level repentant Cozy has to face these same facts. Could go some pretty dark places...)
As for the relative comfort of the dungeon*, Tartarus and Grayvale - well, it depends on how you look at it. I do have some vague plans for a fic that follows the canon ending, so I've developed some ideas regarding Tartarus - as for Grayvale, Cozy is crossing her hooves we don't see it in this fic or any sequels (among other reasons). All of them are are worse than a regular Equestrian prison though, which is why at least Evergreen is looking at Cozy ending up in one as an acceptable win condition.
*Note that Cozy is in a maximum-security cell; the others are maybe a little better? It doesn't help that the guards necessarily number among the victims of her crime, though I'm sure they all promised they could deal with her objectively...
I admit that Cozy glow shouldn't be in prison, yeah I know she did one of the worst crimes ever to commit, but she is still a filly. I wouldn't be surprised if she escaped and none of Equestria could ever find her
9449128
I think its a little too late for an escape at this point, especially since she doesn't have any sleeves to be hiding things up. And as for not sending her to jail, when she tore magic from all of Equestria and isn't even sorry about it... well, she hopes that she can get off, but it won't be easy.
I'm liking this story so far. It's a nice, realistic take on how Cozy Glow would be handled in a legal setting, and I look forward to seeing where this goes, especially given my issues with how it was shown in-series.
I'm all for her seeing harsh punishment for her actions - filly did commit treason - but I do believe that she deserved a day in court.
9460274
Yeah - I actually saw a pic of her behind bars on Youtube, so I was ready or even excited for that - we've had villains dealt with a lot of ways in this show, but none had been jailed yet. But that it was a powerless filly in Tartarus, and especially the casual way everypony treated it... well, it was one of a few problems I had with the finale.
I will try to give Cozy a fair trial, even if it takes a while.
9460302
Well I look forward to seeing more of the story, even if I disagree with the inevitable result.
9460308
Is the result so obvious? And if you dislike it, what would you prefer?
9460323
Oh, sorry, let me explain. I'm assuming that you intend to follow the canon route and have Cozy Glow sentenced to Tartarus, rather than a different outcome. I'm okay with that if there's a fair trial involved, but my own personal preference is that her crimes merited execution, regardless of her age. The filly's a sociopath, after all, and clearly doesn't care if anyone is hurt or dies as a result of her schemes.
9460552
Well, if you notice her reaction to some of the charges you might be a bit less sure about that. As for her fate ... I really doubt I would have started writing this just to recreate canon, and none of the Princesses would be comfortable reviving a long-buried death penalty even if it wasn't a filly involved.
Ultimately, they want to believe that she can be turned around, like so many before her - Celestia because she loves all her little ponies, Luna because she made just as big a mistake at a far greater level of maturity, and Twilght because Cozy was her student and she couldn't see that anything was wrong with her. Even if she's beyond saving right now, I don't know if they'd give up so quickly...
9460570
And there's nothing wrong with believing that someone can turn their life around. Trouble with me is that I'm a cynic, and I've yet to see any reason to believe that Cozy could...at least, within canon. Maybe within your story, but not within canon.
9460574
Well, we've only seen her in the immediate aftermath of her failure. As Evergreen points out, she's got a long life ahead of her if it isn't shortened by the guillotine (or some vengeful victim). Maybe in ten, twenty, thirty years she can turn herself around, or maybe she can't or won't. But do you really see the Princesses not giving a powerless filly a chance, when they took such a long shot on Discord?
(And bear in mind that even if she had repented immediately, she probably wouldn't have gotten off without prison time - as it is, she's looking at a life sentence if her lawyer doesn't pull off a miracle. I hope the treatment I've given her so far persuades you I don't intend to just let her off lightly.)
9460574
It is interesting to see the variety of opinions - contrast your objection to the comment above yours, as well as my own and canon's positions ... it seems that Cozy Glow inspires a broad range of possible responses.
9460591
Oh, I don't think you're letting her off light so far, don't worry. And yes, I do see the Princesses giving Cozy Glow a chance to repent, but again, whether or not she takes it is up in the air.
9461176
Well, nothing wrong with that, is there?
9461179
Well, she's already refused her first chance (what she'd have got for taking that is described here) and I'm not sure how well she's going to do in court ... she doesn't seem very sorry. But repentant or not, I think both killing her and letting her off scott free would be pretty extreme reactions given the circumstances.
9461181
Indeed - perhaps I shouldn't have set boundaries on the possible results, but precisely because there are so many opinions I wanted to eliminate the one's I found implausible. Not that there aren't reasons why execution or Tartarus make sense - I've come up with a few myself - but I think there are more reasons why they would never fly.
Wow this is so well written, the descriptions are so vivid, amazing job. And im not just saying that, this is incredibly well written, at first I thought it might have gone on too long with the descriptions but it really brought the scenes to life.
9469703
Thank you! Was there anything you liked in particular? Or disliked?
9469705
I 100% enjoyed how you wrote her throught processes, the way she talked about the ponies who wronged her, how her cutie mark is no good without other ponies, fascinating stuff! I think for some reason I really liked her plan, and how her ultimate goal was just to see another pony. Really cool, I'd read the next chapter but im supposed to be working on a paper haha
9469707
Ah, studies eh? Well I suppose you're doing better than me - I've had one paper or another due since before I started writing this!
So you're more into the mental aspects than the physical?
9469727
I'm definitely more into the mental aspects of it yeah. I really like stories where the victim/slave ends up becoming super loyal, or their mental health is degraded to the point where they dont fight back anymore. Its a really odd interest of mine but its fun so :Shrug:
9469883
Yes - it's interesting because it can be seen as a bad ending or a kind of happy one. Altough I admit that my preference is for them to remain themselves even in the face of suffering - so, technically, the exact opposite?
Cozy's self was never that sane to begin with though, and solitary confinement hasn't helped. Although I don't see her as stopping fighting any time soon - and certainly not swearing loyalty to anyone. Sorry, it's just not in her nature.
That said, what do you think it would take for her to reach that point of "rehabilitation"? I'm sure you have some ideas - PM me them if they're too intense for a Teen rating.
9469904
Oh yeah for sure, I didnt mean that it would apply to cozy, just meant my interests in general :P
But, I do think that a little filly is quite impressionable, and her unstable mental state, as seen when shes arrested as well as the last few seconds of the episode, could be exploited. I think somewhere in her mind theres a natural urge for her to lead, and to have minions. Logically that would mean it would be harder to get her to pledge loyalty.
Despite that I'm sure somepony could push her to the breaking point, push her far enough for her to jsut totally give up on her plans, and her cutie mark at large. Rewrite her, if you will.
Thats just me rambling so I am not sure if that makes any sense :P
Yeah perhaps - youth are impressionable. How would you go about it? The same methods of confinement, deprivation and punishment as seen in your fics? Or would she require a different approach?
(Sorry if I sound creepy.)
9469917
You can't creep me out lol, no worries!
FIrstly, I dont wanna make you write something you dont wanna, so if you already had a plan for this story you should 100% stick with it cause this is looking amazing so far.
If it was me, though, I'd probably target her natural desire for friendship. Admittedly ive not watched the entirety of that episode. but as far as I can tell she wants friends, and she doesnt care if she has to do bad things to get them. It would take a really smart pony to tap into that, and sort of morph her desire to make friends into a desire to please. But yeah youd probably have to stick with some of the core principals of mind break, and stick with reward/punishment. Kinda like a dog, lots of positive reinforcement. Not sure how that would work since she herself is a pretty good manipulator, but who knows. In my fic, fear is a big part of it, but cozy doesnt seem like shed be vulnerable to that. I think her social butterfly aspects are better for putting pressure on her. Something like locking her away for periods of time, all alone, when she messes up.
I think you might unfortunately have missed the imortant part - Cozy only wants "friends" because she sees that as a road to power - absolute power, if she had her way. Certainly she wouldn't be interested in friends who were meant to act as leashes.
The key aspect (at least for my Cozy) would be pride. It's why you couldn't turn her into a groveling pet without breaking her mind comletely - but if you just wanted a useful servant, then working on her ego while at the same time regularly demonstrating your superior power would be best. You don't even have to arbitrary - she'll give you plenty of excuses for harsh punishments. You just have to remember that this process will make her hate you - and even if you're stronger right now, she once nearly brought down Equestria. Watch your back - she's basically a Sith apprentice.
At least that's how this might go if I was aiming for something like one of your fics. As it is, I admit that these opening chapters are the peak of Cozy's suffering for now - as we move into the actual trial I need her competent to mount a defense. As for after the trial - well, that depends on the sentence. If she gets the maximum - life in Equestria's worst prison, probably in permanent solitary without magic - well, even the first word of that could break one as young as her if she properly thought about it, let alone after the first year or so when she realises that this box with little more than a bed and a toilet is it - forever.
On the other wing, she could always get off
and be lynched. Hope springs eternal and all that! Even if the ending we're hoping for isn't the same one Cozy is.(to top off this massive reply, what do you think the effects of her canon fate - left in a small, bare cage in Tartarus next to Tirek - would be?)
9470099
Yeah you’re definitely right, guess I should watch the episode huh?
I don’t know if Equestria would punish a filly like cozy, they’d want to rehabilitate her as their #1 goal. But your fic is gonna be great, I’m sure of it
Edit: also idk, I feel like thanks to the show ending soon, this is the last we’re gonna see if her. It’s game over for her, she’ll be stuck there I think
9470133
Probably.
What we saw in canon certainly didn't seem like rehabilitation!
i.ytimg.com/vi/dCPehAASrus/maxresdefault.jpg
Seriously though, she'd only get that kind of sentence if she was determined to be irredeemable. Normal Equestrian prisons are much more comfortable and rehabilitation-oriented.
And I didn't mean from a show perspective - I meant from a Hoovier perspective. A filly in a bare cage in Hell with the devil locked up next door seemed like something which might be up your alley.
9470168
Hmmm not sure, I feel like she'd just go completely bonkers. Plus you cant really do anything with her unless you had another character there to mess with her, who wasn't also locked up. Someone to hose her down, or pose as a friend before they hose her down for fun. But, going completely crazy doesnt leave much room for a genuine reaction, or emotion, so idk about that/
9470287
True - she isn't exactly sane to begin with. On the other hand someone who plucked her out of Tartarus somehow might have some interesting raw materials to work with...
9470829
Very true, cant wait to see what you have in store!
9470842
Well as I said, in this fic things will get better for her in the immediate future. But then things were looking up for Abby in the middle of her story, weren't they?
And regardless of what happens here, I do have some other ideas of things that could have happened to her...
9470863
They definitely were looking good, she just had to go and ruin it huh?
I admit I don,t really get what "Twilght"was thinking there - a version of the story from her perspective might be interestng. And one wonders how she would reeact if her next pet makes the same claim - it would be factually true after all, and Twilght does like her facts....
9470868
Well I specifically like having twilight be a complete monster, so in that case she was thinking about how Abby had grown too fond of twilight, and thought herself worthy of calling a princess like Twilight mom. So, its twilights duty to shut that down fast, like a good parent haha
9471429
Is there a reason you dislike her so much? Or is it a twisted kind of liking? I've imagined evil and slave-owning Twilights before, but your's honestly stretches a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief.
Well, I suppose the whole thing could make sense if she's basing all her decisions on different and contradictory pet ownership books. "This one says you should share your hobbies with your pet. This one says that over-familiarity must be harshly and immediately punished. Oh, and this new volume says.... absolutely do not teach them magic? Why weren't you released last year? I knew I should have waited a bit longer!"
The next pet she's breeding will be Twilight's daughter - would she react the same way to it saying so?
9471470
Nah I dont dislike twilight, shes super cool! I just see her as someone who freaks out easily, someone who has been shown to do some pretty crazy stuff. In my fic, Twilight plays this role, her fear of losing her friends is what turned her so psychoticaly against trixie, and in her own twisted way she wants to subject trixie to the pain and misery she felt at the thought of losing her friends to Trixies deadly magic. For the Abby story its sort of different cause mr lewdchapter wrote that for me, and I didnt have an exact plan set out for what she would do, but I can tell you I enjoyed it a ton lol.
Yeah its a bit of a stretch, definitely. But since its a fic, and purely for my enjoyment, I dont see anythig wrong with stretching her character a bit
I guess. If you care, my "evil Twilight" would certainly do the things in your fic, but she wouldn't find any meaning in it if Trixie wasn't aware of the context - the whole point would be to rub in her face who's the strongest mage in Equestria and who's a Weak and Powerless toy. And I just can't see her acting that way towards Abby, because Abby is completely incapable of challenging her or even wanting to - she knows her place as a plaything, and a toy with magic is so much more fun than one without.
(To put it clearly, my evil Twilight is a sadist who enjoys hurting others and kills without remorse, but she reserves breaking torture for those who get in her way and it doesn't suit her to kill, at least immediately.)
9471525
SOunds like a super cool version of her
9472191
She's very much evil!Celestia's Sith apprentice. One of my many stories that will never be written is that of her and her definitely-not-friends-but-not-quite-as-much-lackeys-as-she-would-like, the ponies who would be the Bearers of the Elements of Tyranny if Empress Celestia was foolish enough to allow such a power to exist outside her control. I have various thoughts, just don't know if you could make an actual story from it without it collapsing under it's own darkness.
Still, if you want to know more about this Twilight or others from her world just ask (though the answer may be by PM).
Poor Cosy.
15 years in prison, but then she did commit serious crimes.
9482681
Don't you think she deserves it? How would you deal with her?
9482686
Do you think it's a fair sentence?
I have not seen the episode. What did she do?
9482849
Tried to drain all magic from Equestria so she could rule it, trapped the Mane 6 in Tartarus...
Well, that was very serious and would have greatly harmed the unicorns in particular as well as destroying any magi-tech that the ponies have, so she does deserve prison. I would have given her (since I'm assuming she didn't kill anypony as it's the show) a sentence of between one year and life in prison, with the chance to go to a parole board once a year that is not biased against her.
That’s a clever take I never thought of.
9509040
Well they didn't take Tirek to court, did they? (Although I suppose it's not strictly necessary when he's an escapee.)
I never saw Tartarus as a part of the Equstrian penal system, but rather something more, well, mythological. And if it's actually a prison, you'd think they'd hire more staff than just an easily-distracted watchdog...