Before Big Macintosh accepted his fate as an apple farmer he tried his hoof at some mercenary work. He moved out west and made a name for himself in the infamous Peacekeeper core. After a few years he grew tired of killing and moved back to Sweet Apple Acres to live out the rest of his life in peace. But it wasn't meant to last, Big Mac's past has caught up to him and its kidnapped the Apple Family. Now its up to to Big Macintosh to save them, donning his Peacekeeper gear for one final ride.
Chapters (1)
Whaaaat is thiiiiissss!!!
Seems... interesting. Marked to read later!
So basically RDR with ponies.
....Gonna be pretty awkward when the horseback riding comes around idn't it?
A diffident point of view on my favorite family, not bad.
By Celestia's flowing technicolor beard, that was the best story I've read in a long time!
I was surprised when Big Mac suddenly dropped his accent upon shifting into cold blooded killer mode. You must have done that on purpose, as if it was just another part of the peaceful farmer persona.
The characters were rounded, the descriptions were vivid, and the plot was excellent. There were a few minor errors of spelling, capitalization, and punctuation, but nothing so jarring as to be worth mentioning.
Twain was a bit of a nuisance. I used to have snakes, and while they didn't talk, they didn't hiss like neglected teapots either. It's very unseemly behavior for such cunning predators.
Lastly, I would have liked a bit more information about Twilight's occupation. Nevertheless, this was incredible. I hope to see you write many more stories.
And your next story, I hope is about Twilight's occupation, and what she really is.
Nice take on the old fighter who only wants to retire. Looking forward to more stories from you.
welp i must say interesting keyblade you threw in there and interesting story/idea
it would definitly be interesting to see what you write in the future
and if ya dont ah would recommend that ya be careful
Does Pony Stark wear an iron suit
Intriguing.
Nice story, good read. I noticed a few grammar flaws, but all in all it's good.
A few grammar errors, but I gotta say I enjoyed it. It's always the quiet ones....
Octavia was a nice touch, too.
Great adventure story, though I wonder if you should've rated it Mature and added the Gore Tag given the amount of (at times detailed) violence in this. All in all, still a thumpin' good read.
Ho.
Ly.
SHIT!
This was fucking awesome.
Why doesn't this have more views!?
this was a great story!!!!
asides for some spelling errors it was
a truly rounded and action packed story.
i just feel bad for the little ones that where bought by dusty.
5 spikes out of 5
Wow, I didn't think that my story would be this well received. I have had some other story ideas, but haven't had the time or the motivation at the same time to get writing. I'll be honest, I didn't think that this was that great of a story; It was just one that I was motivated to write, and I had thought about stopping my writing all together to work on some other things.
I will put the question to you, the fans: should I keep writing? With your support, I just might be able to find the motivation i need to make more stories like this one.
Hmmm... a bit rushed, and Big Mac's character came off as a bit cliche' to me, but overall a really well done short. A few minor grammar errors, but nothing glaring and repeated. I still enjoyed this story, though the plot is actually a very common one (just read a few cheesy westerns, particularly the ones part of a character series) and you'll see what I mean.
Some advice... don't make such OP weapons, at least, not in this kind of story. It makes for a bland and rushed story, at least for the fighting scenes, I mean, you read three or four scenes where the main character just rips his way through the enemy like they're nothing but paper, but all because of this super-amazing- can't-stop-this-shit weapon, and it gets to be repetitive. Such weapons should be reserved for enemies that can measure up to them. Otherwise, your fight scenes become more of the same old same old, and your character doesn't grow or get to show off his true capabilities. Great fight scenes immerse you in the battle and the bloodshed, you should be able to almost smell the metallic tinge of blood misting in the air as your hero slices through his adversaries, hear the clash of steel on steel, see him rise triumphant as his blade cracks through the skull of his final enemy, feel that sickening crunch as he twists it and slides it back out. You need to paint a portrait of grace and poise mixed with the brutal strength and destructive force he wields as he whirls and twists through their ranks, sowing chaos and fear in their minds with the precision and balance of an accomplished dancer. These are the scenes that stay with a reader.
I believe you have the ability to produce such writing, so please keep writing. In this story, I see the makings of a great story teller, should you continue to write. You have imagination and creativity, and while this particular story wasn't all that unique in it's construction, the way you told it was, and the new elements you added were welcome and fresh.
Haha, holy shit this is badass.