If you stare at the Abyss long enough, the Abyss gets a restraining order
If ever there was a time Twilight Sparkle doubted she was a hero, that time had long since passed. Humble as she was, Twilight couldn’t deny she fit quite a few definitions for the word, and there was no shortage of examples of how it was a fitting label for herself; she being an Element of Harmony Bearer, for instance. The fact that she had faced down villains time and time again. Or even the simple fact that she was always willing to help her fellow pony, friend or otherwise.
Still, there were other instances and trials where Twilight oft proved herself braver than most. Take now, for instance, where Twilight once again found herself running in the opposite direction of the screaming, panicking citizens of Ponyville. There was the old saying of the heroes being the ones running toward danger while everypony else ran away from it. A saying Twilight might appreciate if her thoughts weren’t otherwise occupied.
Oh, please be Tirek… Oh, please, please, please!
“She’s on a rampage!” a panicked mare called out.
Twilight frowned. Or Chrysalis! Yeah! She could be back to seek revenge!
“Such unbelievable magic power!” a stallion cried.
Twilight found herself taking a deep breath. Don’t panic… Maybe Chrysalis has teamed up with Tirek… or Sombra? Many credible threats to Equestria sported strong magical tendencies!
“It’s the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen!” another mare chirped.
Twilight sucked in another breath through clenched teeth as she could feel her stress level rise. Things had gotten darker, and the lighting unworldly; as if everything was coated in a purple haze. However, the change of illumination was not Twilight’s immediate concern.
It’s fine! It could still be a pack of villains! I GOT it! She thought triumphantly. Chrysalis broke into Tartarus and then freed BOTH Tirek and Cozy Glow! That HAS to be it! OR, maybe it’s even a brand new villain that’s worse than everything else my friends and I have faced put together! That’d be a relief.
As practically all shades and color but black and purple seemed to be eliminated from the visual spectrum entirely as Twilight ran into a Ponyville shop that seemed to be the source of the panic.
Anything but…
“Hi, Twilight!”
“Oh, Celestia damnit!” Twilight exclaimed as she laid eyes on her graduated friendship student and school’s guidance counselor, Starlight Glimmer. Starlight was smiling and waving at Twilight, despite the fact that there was clearly some swirling, pulsating disk of otherworldly properties occupying the same room as the pair of ponies.
“I know, right?!” Starlight replied without missing a beat. “How can they advertise 31 flavors of ice cream if they keep running out of one!”
Twilight buried her face in both forehooves. “Starlight! We’ve been over this! No summoning portals to deal with minor inconveniences.”
“Pfft! Minor?!” Starlight said in a cheerfully indignant tone. “This is the third time in a month they’ve been out of rocky road! So clearly my complaints left in the suggestion box, written letters, and organized protests weren’t enough!”
“There were only three of you! And one of the other two was Trixie, who was less protesting and more handing out fliers for her new show, and Maud who stood in place only saying ‘Rocky Road’ and ‘Now’ in response to your chants and holding a sign you clearly gave to her!”
“Four!” Starlight corrected. “Pinkie joined for a few moments before she caved to free samples! Look, the point is; clearly I wasn’t getting through to them, so drastic times call for drastic measures!”
Twilight groaned. “Again! We’ve been over your inappropriate use of portals!”
Starlight gave Twilight a mildly smug look. “Well, Twilight, if you looked closer, I think you’ll notice it’s not just a random portal!”
Frowning, Twilight took a closer look at the eerie mass behind Starlight. This was followed by immediate regret as this very act seemed to fill Twilight with anxious fear, yet the feeling that this… thing whatever it was, and wherever it came from, had so much to offer if she just studied it further.
As naturally curious as Twilight was, the initial unpleasantries combined with the fact that out of all of the frightening tears in reality she had seen, this one both felt and looked the most malevolent. And that was impressive given how many potentially threatening holes to other dimensions she had seen between Starlight and her own studies gone awry.
Dazed, Twilight started to collect herself physically and mentally as she uttered. “Wha-what is…?”
Starlight laughed. “I’m sorry! I thought you two were acquainted.”
“A-acquainted?!”
Starlight nodded her head up and down. “Twilight Sparkle,” she motioned towards the swirling disk of dread, “may I present The Abyss!”
Twilight had regained her senses enough to frown disapprovingly at Starlight. “I think an abyss still falls under the umbrella of ‘portals’, Starlight.”
“No, no, no! Not ‘an’ abyss! The Abyss!”
Twilight risked a glance up at the object in question and again regretted it as she was felt with more trepidation followed by whispers of power.
“You know…” Starlight continued. “‘The longer you gaze longingly at the Abyss, the more likely it is to gaze longingly back!’”
“That’s not exactly how that saying goes,” Twilight said. “I mean… you’re not exactly wrong, but even the most seasoned etymologists would probably argue you’ve taken some liberties. Anyways, this is still overkill for not getting your favorite flavor of ice cream.”
“But it was rocky rooooaaaad!” Starlight whined. She took a moment to collect herself. “Look, the point is that it turns out the Abyss is something of a bad influence.”
Twilight huffed out a sigh. “Starlight, you can’t just blame your misbehavior on otherworldly things that also represent metaphorical concepts.”
“That’s what I keep telling her!”
Twilight felt her skin crawl and eardrums twitch as if both were trying to figure out how to get further away from outside and bury themselves deep inside her. That… voice, or whatever it was… did that really come from that reality tear?!
Starlight groaned and wheeled around to face the disk. “Shut up! No one asked you!”
“Stop using me to justify your terrible behavior! I’ve told you this and now your friends are telling you the same thing!”
“Wow!” Starlight cried indignantly. “I guess their 31st flavor is intervention!”
“Really… that’s the best you can come up with?!” For a moment, Twilight could feel rational thought return as the Abyss went silent and even slowed it’s swirling and pulsating, but it was only a moment. “Salted cerebral served in a cone-tention!”
Starlight shot the Abyss a dirty look. “That’s not even a sentence!”
“You’re not a sentence!”
“This is why we stopped dating!”
“Hey! I broke up with you because you were too clingy!”
“Oh yeah? Well, you're such a shameless flirt that I would have broken up with you by now if we were still dating! I swear you make such a mess of everything you touch!" Starlight snapped sullenly.
“You know what?! I don’t need to take this! PEACE!” With that, the Abyss folded in on itself until it vanished from this plane of existence, leaving things returned to normality.
“Well, have fun calling me for another booty call!” Starlight grumbled to herself as she stormed outside.
At least as normal as they could get, all things considered.
After what could have been seconds, hours, or even days, Twilight felt her cognizance return to her and found herself alone and in the middle of an ice cream store that was clearly worse for wear, but otherwise intact. She turned towards the front counter took a good, hard look at the 31… 30 available flavors.
“Move over Rarity!” Twilight said as she took up an ice cream scoop in a magenta glow of her magic. “There’s a new stress eater in town, and she’s going for the high score!”
The End
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Well than. That happened.
I have learned by now that if you post a one shot, I will enjoy it even if I don't understand what just happened. More often than not, I won't understand, but it'll still be fun.
This is such a case. Good job.
“Hey Frosty. The complaint box is full again.”
“Lemme guess, Sweet Cream. Is it that ‘dignified’ vanilla bean bandit apologizing again?”
“Nope. Not this time.”
“Three fillies clamoring for milkshakes?”
“Hah! I wish it was them, but nah. It’s the new girl coming in this month.”
“The Raging Rocky Roadie?!”
“That’s the one!”
“Oh dear gods in heaven, just get her some chocolate ice cream and toss some marshmallows in it!”
“What about the nuts?”
“Don’t bother! That lady IS nuts!”
So, aside from terrifying the local populace, nothing bad happened at least.
Is this part of the MADverse?
I was wondering how this would keep its rating if The Abyss was going to show up.
I’m guessing that this is how he’s fixing the canonical issue of grogar
Edit: I was wrong.
Clearly SOMEONE needs to give The Abyss a rolled up newspaper.
Wait till she finds out that Maud is the reason they are always sold out.
What did you do THIS time?
PORTALS!?
... You frighten me.
SEE?! When the friggin Abyss tells you you can't blame everything on whatever the Abyss chooses to identify as, you have problems, Ex-CultLeaderHorse. I'm not good with nicknames.
Technically correct.
You, I, eh, y, what?
What?
Excuse me?
9310444
Join the club. We have brownies.
Apparently Starlight will put out for nether realm gateways. Good to know.
wut.
I, for one, am all for shipping Starlight Glimmer with The Abyss. Starbyss OTP!! Or Abysslight OTP!! Or... I dunno, those're the only names I can come up with.
I came here thinking about the Dark Souls Abyss. I did not find that but I am hella happy that this is what I found instead.
......
9310518
Glimbyss? But I doubt this will work out: compared to the epic asspain that is Justice3442's Starlight, even Trixie is no more annoying than a kitten snoozing in a sunbeam. Even primordial evil has it's standards.
...Goddamnit Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer confirmed for GLORIOUSLY INCANDESCENT \[T]/
... And Sunset was too busy doing something else to wack Starlight with the biggest newspaper in the history of newspapers why?
Just because it's not part of the Madverse doesn't mean newspapers to Starlight's head reapeatadly can't be effective.
Pardon me, my good sir or madam, but I seem to have drifted through a patch of spacetime in which I temporarily took leave of my mortal senses. I am under the impression that something of note occurred within that patch, but I am currently unable to recall whether my present state of forgetfulness is beneficial to my continued existence as a sapient being capable of rational thought. If you could possibly enlighten me as to what in all the realms of Tartarus just occurred, I would be most grateful.
I have question, questions I feel I don't want the answer too.
Hmm, has Nietzsche reviewed this story yet?
Just accept the inevitable and break her horn now, Twilight. She clearly can't be trusted with the thing.
Just sitting here, waiting for The Abyss to show up.
9312020
We saw how bad Tempest was with a broken horn. How horrific do you think Starlight would be?
9312035
Ha!!!!!
9312076
That's because she still had SOME horn left.
9312275
And you think that'll stop her?
9312284
If you remove all of it then remove her limbs then yes.
9312286
She'll manifest more power through pure spite and determination.
9312020
Bad idea.
Forget unfocused blasts of chaotic magic like Tempest. With all that power internalized and with no vent? And she won't stop trying to manifest her power? She'll turn into Pinkie Pie on acid.
Or Lopan and the Storms.
Or both.
I didn't know that ponies and otherworldly things which also represent metaphorical concepts can date.
Welp, we have a new Celestia in town.
9310272
Although it's existence has no REAL consequence to the rest of the stories, yes.
How does one meet The Abyss to start dating in the first place?
9314640
1-800-DAR-KNES. Call collect for a FREE consultation!
Well, he certainly wasn't... the worst abyss... I've... seen...
cdn.animeherald.com/aniheraldcdn/2017/03/Made-in-Abyss-Header-001-20170321.jpg
*flashbacks intensify, curls into fetal position, muttering*
don't go down don't go down don't go down don't go down don't go down don't go down...
*Reads the new story*
*Rereads the story*
*Reads the story one more time*
*Blood slowly begins to leak out of his nose*
I think I’m going to go lay down now. I think I just pulled a MADverse Sunset and had an aneurysm.
I'll put this in the MadVerse group and add it to the chronology.
9314640
This is Starlight we're talking about. So lots of bad decisions, and abuse of magic. Either that or lots of "good decisions" and "completely reasonable uses of magic", depending on who you ask.
I mean this is the pony who rips tears into nightmare realities to see if her string of constants makes words in said realities to cheat at Scrabble. And whose thought on responsible use of magic includes making magical rage viruses, and gaining more stock super villain powers via spell work.
9310362
Or call Sunset Shimmer. I mean both for her worst temper tantrum, or for blaming her ex (who is the literal Abyss) for her poor choices ... and that should totally be a thing.
9310518
How about The Ab/yssxStarlIght=The Stab-Eyes? "The Stab-Lies" doesn't really work, they're both pretty essentially honest beings... and that the pairing sort of sounds like the name of a completely independent entity isn't really an argument against it in this case.
9310518
9310678
9324962
I propose the shipping name AbyLight. It rolls off the tongue, and works for both Starlight and Twilight. It is easy to confuse the two after all.
9336048
I don't know. I kind of like Starbyss. It's also tongue-rolly and won't get confused with Starlight's original name or a ship between her and Twilight (Twimmer? Starkle?). All that said, I love how even The Abyss has had enough of Starlight's shit.
9372653
Lolyep. She does have that effect on others. It's pretty magical when you can have the Abyss itself and the Princess of Friendship agreeing on how aweful you are. That right there is a sign you should probably reevaluate your life, or at least the steps between being annoyed and outright super villainy.
Although to be fair her Special Talent is in Super Villainy. So ... at least Twilight and Sunset are getting good at curbing her talents some of the time.
I've heard of the siren call of the Abyss, but until this story, the booty call of the Abyss was a superunknown.
I can kinda see Starlight's point. I mean, rocky road.
9408893
I HATE Rocky Road
9449013
With Passion!
Starlight you buffoon
At this point, I think Sunset should install around Ponyville a few boxes that read "In case of Starlight-related eldritch horrors, break glass" and contain a rolled-up newspaper.
Upon rereading this wonderful bit of madness, it occurs to me that the writers for season 9 ripped off your idea.