I love writing about slice-of-life, complex character emotions, and mental health.
Factories are meant to create something useful. Metal factories create tools. Textile factories create clothing. Both of these serve a purpose. Can a rainbow do the same? Can a rainbow be more than just a pretty picture in the sky? Is the cruel way pegasi make rainbows even worth it? Midnight Shade is determined to find out.
Page generated in 0.076 seconds
Total duration
1,039 users online
2,285,425 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Congratulations on completing your first story! This is good, but . . . After moons of rebellious workers, I don't find it plausible that just one could free all of the foals, especially destroy the factory! Why would a low-class worker, known not to kill the foals, be given a key to their cage? Why is there only one cage, and not many, to prevent such actions? Why didn't the other workers stop her? Why was she able to out fly DRONES?! Adrenaline can be powerful, but not THAT powerful!
Again, it was a good story, but many changes need to be made for it to be believable. (You know, as believable as a group of talking, magical Pegasi can be . . .)
Also, if Midnight has always believed that you couldn't justify murder, why did she need to ask for a reason?
what do I say ...
OMG I'll tell you this is the one of the best Rainbow factory stories I have read on this sight and there is quiet a few defiantly add this story to my favourites
9279144
That means a lot!
Aww, thank you so much!
9278989
You make a lot of good points. To be fair, I had to write this quickly for a competition. I might go back and edit it when it’s over though.
9279166
Just so you know, I don't write these comments to be mean. This story has a lot of potential, and I want to see it as the best it can be!
9282157
Don’t worry about it! I know I need to improve somewhere (like the key thing, I knew it was a stupid idea). I probably won’t take every suggestion, but I few now and then wouldn’t hurt.
9282822
Of course, it's all up to the author!
Your story is good and you should feel good about yourself.
And if course, write more stories.
9345674
Thank you
I am planning on writing more stories (I have many of them prepared for drafting in fact), so hopefully I’ll have more content out soon
I have to say, while I know what Rainbow Factory is about (or maybe beacuse of it?), I have never gathered enough courage to read that one. So, I'm glad I have come over this story--something that's not all rainbows and sunshines and retains that dark and serious undertones, but ends in a hopeful way
It is written grammatically well and flows nicely, my only big complaint would be the lack of more tense atmosphere in some spots (like during Midnight's second encounter with Dash and the foals' escape) and also more detailed descriptions--for example, we only know that Midnight flew through some sort of main hall. What and who was in there? How did more of the coworkers react to her flying by? And furthermore, how was Midnight's lengthly escape with the foals going? Who did they encounter? How did they avoid him? And also, Rainbow seemed to snap to her more evil self out of sudden to me 
Still, for your first ever story there, it is pretty awesome. Have an upvote!
9381209
Thanks! The only reason I didn’t use more descriptions is because I’m not very good with them. It also doesn’t help that descriptions tend to bore me (at least with settings) unless they truly intrigue me. Maybe when I get more comfortable with them I’ll try to add some more details.
9381521
Anyway, should you ever need some help or advice in such a field, feel free to contact me. I like to discuss things and share my knowledge with others 
You are welcome!
Well, it’s all about practice, time, the will to get better and finding the right style that doesn’t bore you. As far as my experience with other writers goes, you can tell which parts they really enjoyed writing, for those are the most well written in the whole story
9381532
Thanks, that sounds like a good idea!
Oh I really liked this. The ending is a bit abrupt though. Did she do it? Did she fail? Am I missing something?
I honestly thought this was just going to be a failed venture where she dies trying to help. Glad it didn't go that way.
I'm always here for an uplifting story. Nicely done.
11738786
Thank you! It is neat that people are still looking at this story at all since it's kind of old
To be honest, I can't remember what was supposed to happen. I remember I was planning a sequel but I decided to cancel it since I was no longer interested in writing anything for this story. Considering there was going to be any continuation at all, though, let's assume the main story ended on a happy note!
11739477
In my opinion, good stories are always good, no matter how old they are.
And I'm always glad to assume the best occured.