15 Pinkie Pie: "How Many Pinks Could a Pinkie Pony Ponk if a Pinkie Pony Could Ponk Pinks?"
06:20 AM
Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine. “Hey, Number Nine? You still up there? Or is it in there? Near there? Behind there? Still can’t figure out if you’re in my head or I’m out of my head or what.”
From her seat on a bench down the hall in one of the upper levels of Twilight Sparkle's palace, Pinkie Pie had returned to talking to …, the other new ponies might say “herself,” but Pinkie would say …
“Voices, hello, is Number Nine sleeping or something?”
Her friends, the new ponies down the hall, were too busy to take notice. Rainbow had flown off to look through Twilight’s palace again, Rarity and Applejack were struggling to put on dresses from Twi’s newly portable closet, with Fluttershy helping but also trying to sneak peeks out a nearby window to see the town.
“Because,” Pinkie continued talking while seemingly trying to stare at her forehead, “while Numbers Four, Five, Six, and Eight keep whispering and mumbling in my left ear, and Ten through Fifteen, and Seventeen keep making funny sounds in my right ear, and Nineteen just keeps tapping my nose, Number Nine actually said ….”
Pinkie stood up and began tapping her hooves on the crystal floor to make rhythmic clopping and clicking sounds. “And that almost sounded like some kind of morse—or maybe horse?—code that could actually, maybe, mean something important—not that the rest of you aren’t doing important things. It’s just that making sense isn’t something you voices have been doing a lot of. And this is ME talking! Seriously! I usually understand all sorts of thing everyone else misses.”
She returned to the hall bench. “Not only that, but I think what he—wait! ‘He’? She? It? How am I supposed to know if he-she-it just taps in code? Same with you, Nineteen. Actually, I can’t tell with most of the rest of you either. Numbers One and Three sound like girls. Numbers Five through Eight sound like guys. But I can’t do much with the mumbles and whispers and noises and things most of you are doing.”
A moment, and a few tilts of her head, later Pinkie continued. “Nope, that’s not helping. Mumbles are still mumbles when they get louder. They just become louder mumbles. So make sense or quiet down.”
After shaking her head, and eventually standing back up, Pinkie stood still for a moment and smiled, then started idly pacing the hall to practice her four-legged walk.
“Yeah, that’s better. Would have preferred to actually understand you though, but at least you’re not hurting my brain’s ears now. Hey, you aren’t just having some kind of party up there without inviting me are you? Because, well, I’d be happy if you’re having a party—that’s great—but not inviting me would be mean. I mean, it’s my head after all, I should be invited too! I’m a party expert. Just think of all the goodies I’d bring! I know where I keep the good stuff up there! I could really blow all your socks off! If voices wear socks. If not, maybe I’ll blow your vowels off. But then you’d be even harder to understand.”
She looked over to her friends at the wardrobe, seeing Applejack having gotten that yellow dress on, Rarity awkwardly pulling out pieces of her own chosen dress—and its many accessories—to attempt wearing, and Fluttershy walking up to the nearest window again. She focused on Fluttershy’s walk and tried to straighten her own. One of the voices perked up louder, seemingly offering pointers which Pinkie attempted to follow.
“What’s that? Other leg? What? Nope, didn’t get that. Wait, this way? Kumquat pudding? That does sound delicious! No? Oh! That way? Still no? How about this? Slower? Okay, then, faster? Like that? Hey! Where am I?”
When Pinkie looked up from her walk she noticed a set of grand doors, much larger and more intricately decorated than those that had led to the previously found bedrooms and the portal’s room. They seemed to be made out of a transparent crystal revealing a staircase on the other side.
“Oh hey! These look important.”
She pushed, she tried to pull, she pushed some more. Then she noticed the latch, opened it with a natural flick of her tongue, and pulled again by hooking a pastern around the handle and doing an awkward three-legged backward skippy pronk that seemed the most happily awkward natural thing in the world. Though, she had only been in that world for an hour or two.
Pinkie giggled, anticipating all the other happily natural awkward things she might yet experience before going back to her own world.
She then walked back up to the top of the first stair and looked down. “I wonder where these lead. Phff, besides down, silly! Yes, I’m talking to you, Number Eight.”
Still looking down, she leaned forward, hoping for a better look, eventually pushing her balance too far forward for a four-legged creature..
“That’s a lot of—Woop! Oof! Ack! Eek! Ow! Eep! Ufff! Ouch! Pow. Blap! Ping! Whaam! Thwip! Biff! Bam! Pow! Bap! Bang! Bloop! Blurp! Boff! Bonk! Clange! Clank! Clunk! Crash! Flrbbbbb! Ker-Plop! Klonk! Plop! Splatt! Sploosh! Thunk! Touché! Whack! Whamm! Whap! Zlonk! Zlopp! Zlott! Zowie!”1
Once on the ground floor and no longer moving, Pinkie uncurled herself from the ball she had instinctively rolled into. “Oh wow! That didn’t hurt at all. I love my tail!”
Pinkie pulled her tail into a tight hug. “I wonder if Sunset ever misses hers.” After a moment she sniffed it and was delighted to discover it smelled just like cotton candy. Another moment later she discovered it did not taste like cotton candy. Somewhat disappointed, she stood and found herself in a large foyer at the bottom of the steps.
“Ohh! Those doors were important! And I bet those are too!” Trotting over with a small amount of difficulty, yet tripping only once, Pinkie made her way to a set of doors at the other end of the foyer.
“What’s that? Outside? Sure, why not?!” Humming to herself, Pinkie stepped over, pushed the door open, and bounded forward once the first light of the alien world washed over her.
The brightness made her eyes light up.
The delightful sounds made her ears perk up.
The … something or other made the voices cheer.
It looked like a party just waiting to happen.
All it needed was someone to shout …
“Surprise!”
Pinkie’s cheer grabbed the attentions of several nearby ponies. They turned, saw her, and most either giggled or waved, all of them smiled!
Pinkie smiled back. It all felt so …
Sparkling.
And then some ponies began to approach.
And Pinkie remembered she hadn’t actually set up a party yet.
“Oh wait! Not surprise! Unsurprise yourselves! I, um, forgot I’m not done yet! Pretend you haven’t been surprised yet! I gotta go!”
Now doubly surprised, and also confused, the townsponies stopped and looked at each other with their usual Pinkie-just-did-something expressions for a moment. Then, almost at once, they all shrugged and went back to whatever they were doing as Pinkie Pie pronked off in the opposite direction.
*** *** ***
06:30 AM
After some pronking off randomly, Pinkie eventually came to realize she was just pronking off randomly and not accomplishing anything important. She immediately stopped where she was. The air around her seemed to hold her in place above the ground for a moment and it almost sounded like a speeding car had just hit its brakes. She looked down.
“Huh. How’s that keep happening?”
Number Nineteen then booped her on the nose and she drifted to the ground.
“Thanks, Nineteen!”
Looking around, Pinkie saw she was on a dirt trail quite some distance from the marketplace. In the other distances around her were birds, trees, a pond, a park, clouds (in the sky), a bunch of things that didn’t seem important at the time, an advertisement for a polka contest, and a few ponies wandering about.
“Okay, Pinkie, what do? You were looking for Twi but then you had to go and pre-surprise a town full of party-ready ponies, now those ponies are going to be wanting a party so I gotta pop that party soon or the surprise will wear off before I can surprise them for real at that surprise party that’s not so surprising for a surprise party anymore!
“But,” Pinkie sat on her haunches, “I’m new to this town and I don’t have any supplies and don’t know where anything is, and I—“ Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. “Hold the phone! I’m new to this town! That means I haven’t met anyone here! That means there’s a town of new friends just waiting for me to meet them to become friends! Even the friends who are already friends because I’m friends with them in my world! Forget the party! This whole day IS a party! I have to meet everybody in the whole town!
“What’s that, Thirteen?” Pinkie asked her head. “Well, of course I’ll find Twi-Twi. That’s easy. I’ll invite everyone I meet to my Welcome-to-the-Pony-Planet—wait. No, not quite right Maybe: Mission-To-The-Pony-Planet? Hmm. Well there is something familiar about that title, but ‘Welcome’ fits better in this context. Okay, so, Welcome-to-the-Pony-Planet,-Pinkie-Pie-From-Another-World-Party!"
Pinkie stopped and tapped her chin, giggling for a moment at the fur there. “But is it right to throw myself a party? That seems a little self absorbed. Do I have that kind of ego?"
She played again with what felt like a soft beard made out of fur. “Nope! No I don’t. So I have to have a better party title. Oh, I got it! I’ll call it the Hi-My-Name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-I’m-New-in-Town-Even-Though-I-Probably-Look-Just-Like-Someone-Else-You-Know-Who-is-Also-Named-Pinkie-Pie-But-I-Want-to-be-Your-Friend-Too-Party!"
Pinkie's eyes widened almost more than it seemed her face could handle. “That's perfect! I’ll invite everyone I meet to my Hi-My-Name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-I’m-New-in-Town-Even-Though-I-Probably-Look-Just-Like-Someone-Else-You-Know-Who-is-Also-Named-Pinkie-Pie-But-I-Want-to-be-Your-Friend-Too-Party and I’ll have everyone I invite also invite everyone they know, and that way Twi is bound to end up at the party! While I’m at it I’ll also ask where I can find party supplies.
“It’s a perfect plan! Absolutely nothing can possibly go wrong at all!”
Pinkie stood up and held a foreleg high in the air, triumphantly declaring her inevitable triumph.
“How’s that sound, voices? …. ‘Perfect’? Is that what you said? …. ‘No’? …. What’s crazy about oatmeal? …. I don’t have any eye-patch emergencies right now. …. Ooh! ‘Chimicherrychangas’ also sound delicious. …. ‘Needs more cowbell’? …. Why would I need a cucumber for that?”
A quick, rapid head shake quieted the voices down as a sound not unlike ping-pong balls colliding in mid-flight seemed to ring out from Pinkie’s ears multiple times. Pinkie stopped and waited. Eventually the sound of a bowling ball striking pins replaced the ping-pong balls, and then silence.
“Onward!” Pinkie cheered and headed off toward the park. “My new pony friends aren’t going to friend me without me.”
In the park she found several ponies, most of whom were on the younger side, or were parents of the younger ponies, but four stood out to her, not only as being about her age, but also very familiar.
“EEEEE! It’s my favorite musical girls!” she called out to them. “Well other than my fellow Rainbooms,” she followed up to herself before pronking over to the pair of benches three were lounging and one was sitting on.
“Oh, hay, Pinkie,” said an earth pony with a light olive coat and blue and fuchsia hair.
“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” joined another earth pony with a gray coat, near black hair, and a white and pink bow-tie. Beside her, a mint-green unicorn waved. A white unicorn wearing sunglasses and headphones on her other side nodded her head. Actually the white unicorn had already been nodding her head and just kept going. But she did smile.
“Hey, girls!” replied Pinkie. “I’m new to town and looking to make my first pony friends! Well, if we don’t count Twi, Sunset, and Starlight since I made friends with them in my world already!”
“Uh,” questioned the green unicorn. “what?” She, and the other three mares traded confused expressions.
“Oh! Right. I should introduce myself. My name is Pinkie Pie!”
“Pinkie,” said the gray earth pony, “We’ve known you for years.” She turned to the olive mare. “Are you making sense of this, Vinyl?” The white unicorn shrugged, still nodding her head. “Bon Bon?”
Before she could answer, Pinkie spoke up. “ ‘Bon Bon’? Ooh! I love bonbons. Great nickname. But you haven’t known me for years because I’m a different Pinkie Pie from a different world and I know people just like you from my world who aren’t exactly like you but very similar, and now that I’m in this world I get to make friends with you for the first time all over again!”
Pinkie smiled warmly but was met only by three confused expressions. The white unicorn had simply stopped nodding her head.
Suddenly, Pinkie gasped and then started laughing. “Yeah, I probably should explain more,” she spoke up at her head before looking back at the four ponies. “I think one of the new voices in my head is telling me I should prove it, so here goes.” She pointed to the white unicorn on her right, “Your name is Vinyl Scratch,” she moved her hoof left, pointing to each pony in turn. “Your name is Octavia Melody. Your name is Lyra. And your name is Sweeti—“A yellow glow surrounded her muzzle, holding her lips together—“Durfs.”
Lyra and Bon Bon traded panicked expressions. Lyra’s horn was lit in the same color as Pinkie’s muzzle.
“Silly, Pinkie,” chuckled Lyra. “That’s Bon Bon.”
The glow faded and Pinkie continued. “Exactly! And how else would I know all your names if I didn’t already know you in another world?”
“You know our names,” said Bon Bon, “because we, including you, have lived in Ponyville for years.”
“Ponyville? We’re not in Canterville?”
“I’ve never heard of a Canterville,” explained Octavia. “Just Canterlot.”
“Oh, so you call it Ponyville here? Neat-o. You know, my town of Canterville used to be called Humaneville”—Lyra’s eyes grew wide and her ears perked straight up.—“until our Canterlot city got so big we kind’a became a part of it. So they changed the name to Canterville. But some people just call it Canterlot since we’re technically a district of the city now. Our school is even called Canterlot High because it got renamed from Humaneville High after the city funded its renovations a few years back. That makes sense, right?”
Lyra’s eyes flicked quickly between Pinkie Pie and Bon Bon a few times. The latter met her gaze and discretely shook her head. Lyra’s jaw fell slightly at that in disbelief.
“So you’re telling us,” began Octavia, “That’s there’s more than one Pinkie Pie … again?” She placed a foreleg over her brow. “It is too early and I have not had nearly enough tea for this.”
“Yeah!” agreed Bon Bon. “Maybe you should take a nap. You should take Vinyl with you. Looks like she’s ready for bed. It’s late for her. Bet she was up all night again.”
Looking over, the four other mares noticed Vinyl’s head had drooped forward and her breathing was deep.
“Vinyl,” Octavia called, giving the sleeping unicorn a few taps.
Vinyl’s head picked up and she snorted slightly, looking around before focusing on Octavia and tilting in confusion.
“Seems there’s good reason to spend the day sleeping,” Octavia answered the unvoiced question. She then turned back to Pinkie and smiled. “Well, ‘Pinkie,’ it was … apparently nice to meet you … again, but I believe I am going back to bed for a nap and an aspirin.”
“What?” cried Pinkie, “but I haven’t invited you to my Hi-My-Name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-I’m-New-in-Town-Even-Though-I-Probably-Look-Just-Like-Someone-Else-You-Know-Who-is-Also-Named-Pinkie-Pie-But-I-Want-to-be-Your-Friend-Too-Party yet!”
The other four mares blinked.
“Yes. Time for a nap,” decided Octavia.
“Don’t worry, Pinkie. We’ll be there,” added Lyra, getting a nod from Bon Bon. “We’ll even help spread the word.”
“You will? That’s great!” Pinkie pronked forward and grabbed Lyra into a tight hug. “We’re gonna be great friends! Just like the people in my world who look so much like—whoa!” still unused to pony hips, Pinkie fell forward on top of Lyra.
“Pinkie!” yelled Bon Bon.
“Oops, sorry! It’s weird being in this body. I’m used to just two legs and feet! Not four legs and hooves!”
Lyra again glanced at Bon Bon who only replied in a quick shake of her head while Pinkie stood and backed away from Lyra.
“Okay!” cheered Pinkie. “If you’ll spread the word here, I’ll go around town and meet more new friends for the first time for the second time!" She paused with a hoof to her chin. "Or would that be for the second time for the first time?" She shrugged and addressed her audience again, "Either way, make sure you invite Twi-Twi, oh, and Starlight too! It’d be great to also see my other old pony friend again.”
With that, Pinkie happily pronked off, humming a merry tune and occasionally talking to herself.
The four mares remained where they were, trading blank and confused looks. Only Lyra moved and to simply get up and sit back on the bench.
“I believe the phrase is,” Octavia started, “Well, that happened.”
Bon Bon was about to reply when Pinkie called back to them.
“Oh! I almost forgot! VINYL! LYRA! CAN I LICK YOUR HORNS?!”
“WHAT?!” shouted back Bon Bon.
“I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY TASTE LIKE. I’VE ALREADY TRIED RARITY’S AND I NEED TO COMPARE. I BET LYRA’S TASTES LIKE MINT!”
“YOU ARE NOT TASTING LYRA’S HORN!”
“AW, WHY NOT?”
“NO. JUST, NO! GO INVITE PONIES TO YOUR PARTY AND NO TASTING HORNS!”
“BUT RARITY’S WAS DELICIOUS!
“NO!”
“Awww.” Dejected, Pinkie moped away for a few steps but then perked up again when she remembered that she still had so many new friends to make again and continued pronking away.
They watched her disappear in the distance. Octavia couldn’t help notice the blush on Bon Bon and Lyra’s faces. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” she said with a smirk.
Lyra and Bon Bon stiffened up. Vinyl chuckled.
“What?! I, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bon Bon argued.
“Mint, was it?”
The blushes on Bon Bon and Lyra’s faces deepened. “We, we’re just friends,” Lyra explained.
“Best friends,” Bon Bon affirmed.
“Yes,” agreed Octavia. “You always say that. In fact you always tell each other that …” she leaned in close to the pair, “while sporting bedroom-eyes.”
“HEY!” Shouted Pinkie who had just reappeared over a far hill. “IF I CAN’T TASTE HORNS MYSELF COULD YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT THEY TASTE LIKE? WHAT ABOUT VINYL’S?!”
“NEVER YOU MIND!” shouted back Octavia.
“Awww,” Pinkie sighed and disappeared again.
Lyra and Bon Bon traded sinister expressions and turned to Octavia who suddenly blushed.
“Now who are just ‘best friends’?” Bon Bon asked, earning a snicker from Lyra.
“Yeah,” agreed Lyra. “Now who doth protestest too mucheth?”
“Well, I, uh, that—,” Octavia sputtered.
Vinyl burst out in laughter.
Octavia spun around. “Vinyl! This is not funny.”
Vinyl only laughed harder.
Scrunching up her muzzle, Octavia reached out, and with a flick of her hoof, turned up the volume of Vinyl’s headphones in an attempt to drown out the laughter.
It didn’t work.
“Well, then,” Octavia declared. “I am to retire till noon at the earliest. Possibly noon tomorrow if more Pinkies appear.”
With a lofty gait, Octavia walked off toward home.
The other mares watched her for a moment till Lyra reached a hoof out toward Vinyl who returned the gesture with a bump. “Nice,” Lyra approved.
“Lyra!” Bon Bon protested. Lyra only looked back to Bon Bon then shrugged in the direction of Octavia’s swaying backside.
With a blush, Bon Bon cleared her throat and reached out a hoof toward Vinyl who bumped it in return.
Their exchange completed, Vinyl got up and followed Octavia, continuing to nod her head in rhythm with the sound from her headphones.
Lyra and Bon Bon watched as she caught up to Octavia and gave her flank a playful bump with her own. Eventually, Octavia returned the gesture only a little less playfully than Vinyl had.
Once alone, Lyra turned to Bon Bon, her expression quickly turning serious.
“We are so following Pinkie!”
*** *** ***
06:40 AM
Pinkie thought to herself. And then she thought to her voices. And then she thought to herself more when having voices she couldn’t understand most of the time answering her thoughts felt too weird even for her.
Tired of just thinking to herself, Pinkie opened her mouth.
“Well, I didn’t get to try any new unicorn horns and I forgot to ask about where to get party supplies, but I did invite four new-old friends, and even if two of them are going to take a nap first, they said they’d help invite other ponies too! And they’re all well liked back home so they must have tons of friends here they can invite! This is great! Got to invite more and still got to get supplies!”
She reached into her mane and rummaged around setting off random clunking, squeaking, and chirping noises from within. “It’s not like I carry enough with me for a whole town at all times!” She pulled her hoof out and a large assortment of party paraphernalia fell to the ground.
A dozen party poppers, two cans of aerosol cheese spray, three cans of whip cream (still cold), twenty party hats, a bag of one hundred balloons, a blank canvas with crayons and markers, two trombones, and a rubber chicken signed by Cheese Sandwich.
“Nope. Not nearly enough for a whole town. At the very least I’d need more food, more party hats, decorations, and a helium tank, and maybe a few kazoos.”
Pinkie thought over the found supplies as she went into the task of restocking them into her mane. “That’s weird. Two trombones? I usually just manage to get the one up there, and that's pushing it. Where’d the other come from, and where’d my cookies and textbooks and stuff go? Oh, wait! My tail!”
Turning to look back at her tail, Pinkie grabbed for it, only for it to get tugged out of her reach as her body followed her head and neck. She tried again, awkwardly turning completely around multiple times chasing it on the three hooves she wasn't reaching with, but her tail always eluded her.
Before her next attempt, she stopped and told her tail firmly, “Stay!”
Her tail was very obedient. “Good girl.”
Giving it a shake and reaching in to grab more supplies returned twenty more packs of one hundred balloons each, another fifty party hats, five cell phone chargers with different connections, and a Pin the Tail on the Donkey set.
“Darn,” she said while packing it all back into her tail. “That covers the balloons and maybe the party hats—I wonder how many ponies are in this town—but not the food, decorations, and helium.”
Tail now resupplied, Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. “Although … I did hear once that pegasus ponies can fly because they fart helium.” She continued to ponder that postulation a minute longer. “Nah. After all this time, Sunset would have said something if there was a freely available source of infinite helium I could tap into, right?” She laughed, “And if it were true, everything would be floating all the time in the pony version of Mexicolt.”
She tapped a hoof against her chin in thought. "Oh, and Pin the Tail on the Donkey might be considered rude around here. Maybe I can make it a Pin the Nose on a Clown instead?"
Pinkie set off again to meet more new-old friends, and find sources of party supplies, only to make it just a scant few steps before she felt something tugging. She looked back to see her tail stretched out like taffy, the tip holding its position from before. She whistled, releasing her tail from the invisible hold. It snapped back to its normal form, fluffiness, and position behind her with a whip-like effect.
“Hoouuywhnniiieee!” Pinkie let out a whinny in surprise when the tip struck her hindquarters. “Whoa. That was neat. Well, when in Roan ….”
Rearing back onto her hind legs, Pinkie whinnied again to announce the start of a dramatic, cinematic galloping sequence, “Ho-wee-in’neeee.” Disappointed that her voluntary whinny sounded nothing like a real whinny, she tried again, standing straight up and raising her forelegs high in the air. “Whoouuy’wiinnnn’eee!” The second attempt was an improvement, but still not quite right.
Gravity won out over her experience with pony hips and balance before she could make a third attempt.
“Oh well, I guess I’ll just trot. Oh, what’s that?” she asked her head. “Oh right. The pronky, jumpy thingy is much faster!”
Pinkie gleefully returned to her now familiar pronking down the dirt path until she came to an open field outlined by trees, saw a purple and yellow pony-drawn carriage parked off in the distance, and turned straight for it.
Arriving at the carriage, Pinkie reared up and knocked on the shuttered side window.
“Hey!”—There was a thud from inside—“Are you open?”
More sounds of shuffling, clanging, and banging were heard from inside. Eventually there was a popping sound and white smoke began flowing out of the vents and cracks of the carriage.
This was followed by coughing and a blue unicorn wearing a nightcap opening and popping her head out the window.
“Hiya!” Pinkie cheered at the asphyxiating mare.
Cough “Pinkie?” Cough “What are you—*cough*—doing here?”
“Saying ‘hiya’ to you!”
“Trixie gathered that, but why?” Trixie got her coughing under control and shot Pinkie a tired and annoyed glare.
“I was wondering if you were open and had ice-cream to sell,” Pinkie replied, unphased by the glare.
“Ice-cream?!" Trixie drew back in annoyance. "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not sell ice-cream!”
“Oh. That’s too bad. I saw the carriage and thought you might.”
“What?! This is Trixie’s Cherished and Dependable Caravan! It is not an ice-cream cart!”
“Aw.” Pinkie’s ears flopped down. “I suppose it’s just as well, I don’t have any money. But, anyway,” her ears perked up again, “Hiya!”
“You already said that.”
“I know, I’m starting over!”
Trixie rolled her eyes.
“Hiya, I’m Pinkie Pie!”
Trixie blinked, adopting a dull expression. “Trixie is aware of this. Sometimes painfully so.”
“No, no, no! I’m not the Pinkie you know, I’m a different Pinkie from a different world and I’m here to make friends with all the ponies who look just like the people I know in my world so that way I’ll be friends with two versions of each of my friends!”
Trixie blinked. “What?”
“I want to invite you to my Hi-My-Name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-I’m-New-in-Town-Even-Though-I-Probably-Look-Just-Like-Someone-Else-You-Know-Who-is-Also-Named-Pinkie-Pie-But-I-Want-to-be-Your-Friend-Too-Party!”
Trixie blinked again. “Ocellus, you’re trying too hard. Even Pinkie isn’t this random.” She pulled back and closed the shutters on her caravan. “Trixie is going back to bed.”
“Wait! What’s an ocellus?” Pinkie pushed her face against the shutters, trying to peer in through the small slits.
“Part of an insect’s eye, and your name.”
“But I'm not an Ocellus, I'm a Pinkie Pie”
The shutters opened, pushing Pinkie back, and Trixie poked her head out, squinting as the sunlight hit her eyes again. She peered closely at Pinkie. “Ocellus went home for Spring break and The Pink One is in Canterlot. Who are you?”
“I’m Pinkie Pie,” Pinkie repeated.
“Whatever is going on, can it go on somewhere else or wait another hour or ten?”
“Well," Pinkie looked up in thought, "I suppose I can invite other ponies first and come back.”
“Good, no sooner than nine o'clock. Trixie needs her beauty sleep, she has a performance tonight.”
“Okay, but before I go, can I lick your horn?”
Trixie paused. “Say that again?”
“ ‘Okay, but before I go, can I lick your horn’?”
Trixie's jaw lowered slightly, and it was a moment before her eyes widened and her ears perked up. “T-Trixie still hasn’t even let Starlight douse her horn yet!” Her cheeks blushed and puffed out in annoyance. “Not that she’s ever asked.”
“Ohhh! Where is Starlight? I wanna see her as a pony!”
“As a pony?" Trixie snapped back to Pinkie. "What do you mean, Pink Confusion?”
“Is she here?”
“No, sadly, she’s gone to the Crystal Empire to visit Sunburst,” Trixie replied, then added in a grumble, “bet she’s doused his horn.”
“Aw, that’s too bad, but I hope she has fun with whoever that is, wherever that is, and whatever that is! But will you come to my Hi-My-Name-is-—“
“Pinkie! Or whoever you are. Yes. Trixie will attend your party so long as saying yes means Trixie will get back to bed and it won’t get in the way of her performance.”
“Yay!” Pinkie pulled her into a hug over the windowsill. Trixie’s eyes bugged out for a moment before she managed to recover. “So what kind of performance? A magic show?” Pinkie asked after releasing Trixie.
“Of course it’s a magic show. The Great and Powerful Trixie will be debuting three new Grand and Potent tricks tonight!”
Pinkie’s eyes moved up to Trixie’s horn. “I bet being a unicorn in this world and having a magic horn is very handy”—a bush nearby suddenly rustled—“for a magic show! Or would that be horny?”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Trixie sleeps now.”
Before Trixie could retreat to her caravan, Pinkie poked her head into the window, startling Trixie into falling back onto her floor. “Wait! Where do I go to get party supplies?!”
“Try the marketplace!”
“Oh yeah. Good idea! Oh, wait! Where do I get money for the supplies, or free supplies because I have no money, honey?”
Trixie groaned. “Go to Sugarcube Corner and get it from Pinkie’s stash.”
“Oh, that’s a great idea! I’m sure she won’t mind if I use some of her supplies for a Hi-My-Name-is-Pinkie-Pie-and-I’m-New-in-Town-Even-Though-I-Probably-Look-Just-Like-Someone-Else-You-Know-Who-is-Also-Named-Pinkie-Pie-But-I-Want-to-be-Your-Friend-Too-Party! I’d let her do the same in my world. Though I’d rather work together on it and really welcome her!”
Trixie looked up at her with leveled eyes and responded in a dull, flat tone.
“… Great.”
“So where’s this corner of sugarcubes?”
“Also in the marketplace!” Trixie let her annoyance decide the tone.
“Thank you!”
“Close the shutters!”
“Okey-dokey-Lokey. Or should I say, oney-doney-poney. Sleep tight! Oh! And if you see her, make sure to invite Twilight to the party. We’re looking for her!”
Pinkie closed the shutters of Trixie’s caravan and pronked happily away, now having another pony set for her party and knowing where to get party supplies.
Behind her, poking out the top of a bush was the tip of a mint-green unicorn horn.
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So Pony Pinkie is insane with voices in her head?
I always had it the other way around: that she IS the voice in someone's head.
You've gotten featured again, mate. Congratz.
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You'll see Pinkie's take on the shop in chapter 22.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humansville,_Missouri
Communing with the spirits: You're doing it wrong. Or possibly right. It's kind of on a per-voice basis.
Also, I don't think I've ever preread another story that packed in quite this many cornilingus jokes.
This is the Maximum Overdrive of references. I saw Deadpool and SNL; what are the other ones.
Trixie is the first pony to call Changelings. I like her intelligence.
Oh god.
Several of us do wonder about that too, Trix.
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That's actually brilliant, how is it more people haven't thought of that?
So...what DO the horns taste like?
I read this out loud and it was adorable.
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Rarity: Vanilla
Lyra: Mint
Vinyl: French Vanilla
Trixie: Moonshine
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I like vanilla
9518200
Sorry. It was just going to be that one-off gag in chapter 4 but then Rarity couldn't get her horn to turn off in her first chapter and it made me think: what would the ponies call it? And then Pinkie's chapters came up and of course she was still looking to compare….
9518357
9518660
Well, according to Pinkie in chapter 4:
I'm thinking each unicorn would be different.
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Just an observation. If I'd had a problem with it, I would have said something earlier.
... I think I just hit my daily allowance of The Pink One.
9521288
Aye.
It's Sunday and I am already Pinked out for the week.
And now we know how she found out. I am laughing IRL. And my dogs are giving me dirty looks for disturbing their sleep.
It's Twitch Plays Pokémon all over again, isn't it?
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Cadence: chocolate
Luna: coffee
Celestia: frosting
Twilight: pudding
Discord: meth
Shining armor: MRE chewing gum
Flim and Flam: 20mL Theraflu (grape flavored)
Minuette: Like one of those Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares with mint
Moondancer: somewhere between Chernobyl water and gamer girl bathwater
Sweetie Belle: pancakes
Number 9.
Alright, who gave Pinkie pure concentrated sugar?
So Twitch Plays Pinkie Pie? lol.