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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*Aims M1 Garand* Just say the word and he's dead.
Yep
Deus ex Twilight and/or deus ex emotions in 3, 2, 1...
Erebus does have a good sense of humor, too bad he really needs to die. Like now.
9334442
It would still be better if you said that twilight is the middle child especially since in the chapter before hand she says that spike is her little brother in front of sombra
9334577
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!
9334612
Welcome
9334637
So other than that, are you enjoying the story?
9334641
I am and other the that child line which was out of nowhere I like it
9334646
Great, I'm glad! And don't be afraid to point anything else out. I'm completely open to criticism.
9334652
I'm on chapter 22 and other then the fast pace which kinda works at points but the down side of it is it seems like the relationship between sombre and twilight is forced
9334668
Forced? How so?
9334671
well it seems like their is no time for their relationship to develop and for the reader to route for it to happen and instead it seems like the two are forced together with false feelings like they are in a play
9334785
Thank you. Although to be fair, I did dedicate several chapters to them getting to know one another instead of them liking each other over the course of two chapters. Maybe I did rush it a tad in places but I tried to also take time with it.
9336161
If she did I wonder if she despises sombre for it
9336164
Well, maybe I'll explore it in a future story. Nice concepts!
9336182
Welcome
Erebus, Erebus, Erebus. Why, oh why did you show him that?