Gifts and Curses

by flamevulture17

10. Sentiment

[Chapter 10]

Sentiment

---

“WOAH!” Alex jumped as soon as he noticed the horn on Andrew's head emitted a wavy green aura.

Andrew himself did the same, and when he did, his horn got brighter. He tried to look up with his eyes, moving his head back further, but could only see the tip of the horn as it made no difference no matter where his head went. Shortly afterward, he felt like a complete fool in front of his friend and his brother, and immediately stopped to find that the light on his horn had dimmed and gradually died out.

Nothing else followed. Not a sound. Not a word. Not even a subtle movement from any of them.

“Okay, I'm only going to say this once. What just happened!?” Alex insisted for an explanation.

“Magic,” nodded Dale.

“Maybe,” Andrew added. “For all we know, it could be just some defense reflex or something, but I doubt it. I hate to say this, but I think you're right.”

“You guys don't know that,” Alex cut in. “There's got to be a scientific explanation behind this.”

“Oh yeah, smart guy, everything can be solved with science,” Dale rolled his eyes and head to show his sarcasm. Alex was taken back by his rudeness and felt like giving a piece of his mind.

“Well gee wiz, what do you think explains, oh I don't know, gravity, the weather, the sun, genetics, airplanes, bombs, computers, medicine, the universe, and like you so easily put it, everything?”

“Okay dude, I get it. You didn't need to tell me that. I was talking about things that science doesn't have an answer for.” Dale was a little annoyed by the boy's stroke of knowledge for someone so young.

“Like what?” This time, Andrew questioned.

Dale shrugged. He looked at his best friend and seemed to fail in getting his message across. He shrugged again with more emphasis by lifting his hands halfway to his head.

“Can we just drop this subject and get this over with?”

Andrew grew irritated at Dale's growing reluctance on their whole dilemma. Even though he shared similar views on the fact that it might have been too much for them to handle, he wasn't going to let Dale leave him behind. The last thing he wanted was to do everything on his own, which he knew was one of the worst feelings in the world when it came down to being alone. This unfortunate event had both brought them closer together and pushed them away at the same time. It completely flipped reality on its side. It wasn't a typical walk in the park and all three of them knew it. Dale's facial expression shifted from highly fascinated, to narrow-minded, to lighthearted. He was basically asking for it.

“Wait a minute, you're not serious about this at all, are you?” Andrew retorted. “You don't even care.”

This caught Dale's attention in full. It occurred to him that having a bad attitude did not make things any better and he was doing a poor job of controlling himself. He wasn't sure what to say, for what seemed like forever, in his mind. He obviously failed at keeping his cool and uttered the wrong words that now stirred his closest friend to rebut.

“No, wait, I didn't say-”

“You think this is just your typical day of the week?” Andrew interrupted. “Nothing more than routine? When I am sitting here his some weird body of a pony- unicorn, whatever, you don't even have the decency to open your eyes and face the real thing.”

“But I-”

“And just when I try to get more help from Alex here,” Andrew gestured a hoof at his brother. “You guys argue over the stupidest things. It's like you don't even want to be here.”

Dale went silent from Andrew's sudden illustrated outburst. Everything he said was true and it appeared to aggravate their situation a bit further. He didn't want to admit it, but Andrew summed it all up quite easily. No amount of effort into concealing his emotions was worth losing a good friend. In order to protect the last person on Earth he could still call a friend, he decided not to argue that would give Andrew a hard time. His friend was right about one thing, all that has happened since the beginning of that day was not considered mundane in the slightest of the term. He remained silent. He looked down with his eyes closed to let the guilt sink in.

“Look, if you have something better to do, than go ahead and do it, but I don't think there is anything more important than right now.” A sliver of sorrow for both himself and his sensitive friend could be detected in his voice as he spoke. “So, please.”

Dale raised his head and took a slow breath to empty his mind of the selfish daily desires that put him in such an aggressive mood. His best friend needed him right now and it wasn't the best time to be demoralizing.

“Sorry. I just wish things weren't so complicated today.”

“I know, but we're strong enough not to give up and smart enough not to lose our minds. At least you came up with something, even if it was totally uncalled for,” Andrew chuckled.

“Hehe, yeah, I thought that if I startled you with that book, the adrenalin rush should have done something. And I was right.” Dale began to warm up a little after having to cope with reassurance.

“What are you guys talking about?” interrupted Alex. He had two fingers from each hand rubbing circles around his temples.

“I'm trying to find a way to use my horn,” replied Andrew.

“For what?”

“Magic.”

“There you go again with your mystical forces that violates the law of conserv-”

“Shut up, Alex. We don't need another physics lesson. We're aware of that and we'd just like you bear with us here.” Andrew made it clear that his horn was something unexplainable. Especially how it caused him and Dale to instantly transport to his backyard with no warning at all.

“How can I just go with the flow if I don't even know how magic works?” Alex asked.

“Neither do we, that's why we're trying to figure out something practical to make something weird happen,” Dale began. “At least I was able to get his horn to respond. Last time, we tried thinking of a strong emotion that can duplicate the same reaction as you saw before, but it didn't work.”

“Why don't you try emptying your mind instead?” Alex bluntly suggested.

“What good is that gonna do?” Dale thought about that idea to himself for a second, but quickly put it aside, regarding it as impractical. He was unconvinced that it would be the least bit helpful.

“Sometimes you just need to let go,” Alex explained.

“Since when did you become the master of all human emotion, huh?” Dale contested.

“I'm not, I just know a few ways that might work. If you want my help, at least consider my idea. Besides, he's not human anymore.”

Andrew gave a his brother a displeased look, only to let it pass as a friendly insult.

“I'm still human, bro. Well, not physically anyway. But I'm a hundred percent sure it's still me.”

“At least give it a try,” Alex lightly demanded.

“Fine,” he paused. “But what am I supposed to think about?”

“Nothing. Just feel, don't think.”

Andrew closed his eyes, having difficulty with believing in his capability of letting all of his thoughts go. It almost seemed like a rudimentary task that anyone could pull off, but he had so many things running through his mind at the time that challenged his chances for success. Like a never ending file cabinet of mixed folders of thoughts that tortured the inner workings of his higher cognitive function. In simple words: organized chaos. However, the temperature of the room and the comfortable spot he found on the floor by the foot of Alex's dresser helped his mindset a little bit. He had doubts this would work, but nevertheless, he'd give it a shot in the dark.

Clearing his mind of both good and uneasy thoughts, Andrew began to drift into an unfamiliar state of mind than what he was used to. There was no sensation of a memorable thought, nor was there any instance where mental agony stirred his focus. His eyes eased their frantic dancing from behind his eyelids. A fast and uneasy heartbeat slowed to a relaxed and steady pace. Before he knew it, Andrew slipped into a strange level of consciousness where the world around him became an illusion. A deep feeling of warmth and freedom ran through each neuron of his brain. It became unimaginably quiet and void of all five senses.

Dale and Alex watched their unicorn friend in complete silence. Andrew just sat in one place with his back against the bed and his forelegs holding up his upper body. They did not want to interrupt him in any way, fearing it could break the link between peace and disorder. Hoping this idea would work, it was the first time Alex had someone try this method with the potential of displaying unproven results. Although, he wasn't sure if his older brother was capable of putting his brain activity on hold and not letting all his thoughts get the best of him, even as a unicorn. Emotion is a difficult part of the human person to fully control. Most everybody are slaves to their own personality and Alex knew it. He was not so sure if it applied to his newly transformed brother. Dale, on the other hand, considered it to be a waste of time. He never heard of someone conjuring up some divine feeling by emptying their mind of all thought. There's no way this is gonna work, Dale thought.

Ever so slightly, Andrew swore he could hear voices, but his brother and his best friend had not said a single word since he began his quiet meditation. He was almost certain that someone, somewhere, knew about all this madness. He felt something other than being at peace with himself like a Buddhist monk. He felt an entity. Another presence of some sort. Yet for the longest time, none of it made sense. How could he sense someone when science had not proven the possibility of sharing a link with another person's subconscious? Whatever it was, Alex was right.

“Andrew! Open your eyes,” said a voice that was too loud to be imagined. Dale spoke up in surprise.

Andrew's focus immediately broke when he did what he was told. He opened his eyes and was pulled back to reality. What he found next was unexpected.

His horn was glowing, and not only that, one of Alex's pillows was floating in the middle of the room. It had the same blue-green aura that flowed from his horn, surrounding the surface of the pillow in a wonderful display of levitation. There was also a distinct high pitched whaling sound that resonated throughout the room. It was faint, but loud enough if you listened for it carefully.

“Am I doing that?” Andrew asked for which he already knew the answer to.

“Yeah man. How are you doing it though?” said Alex. The pillow continued to defy gravity in the center of the room with all three staring at it in awe.

“I don't know, but you were right. I did feel something.”

“What was it?”

“I'm not sure. I think it was-”

Just then, the colorful aura disappeared and the pillow dropped to the floor, laying lifeless at Dale's feet. The dumbfounded 17-year-old looked up to Andrew in amazement.

“That was awesome!” Dale uttered. “Do it again.”

“How?” Andrew replied.

“Do that thing again when you looked dead for a second,” Dale continued.

“How about no.”

“Aw come on bro,” Alex barked. “At least give it another try. Maybe it had something to do with the way you were twitching.”

“I was twitching?” Andrew wasn't physically aware of anything other than his what went on in his mind.

“Yeah, your eyes were twitching like you were having a bad dream. I'm assuming you weren't asleep, so I thought it might have been a bad memory.”

“I wasn't thinking of anything like you said,” Andrew explained. “I just let myself free, but I felt a presence of some kind.”

“A presence?” Alex was not expecting to hear that.

“Yeah, like someone else knows about me, but no one except you two has seen me like this. I also heard voices, were any of you whispering?” The two human pairs of eyes in the room bounced around aimlessly as Andrew looked at his closest companions, as if they were paranoid that someone was watching them.

“Nope,” Dale replied. “We just waited for anything to happen. Like thirty seconds into your little episode, your horn lit up and lifted this pillow off the bed.” Dale picked up the pillow and inspected it for any magnets, fishing wires, or any strange residue. He found none.

“Then, what did I hear?” Andrew became a bit paranoid, as well.

“Beats me.” Dale concluded that the pillow was clean by tossing it over to the boy on the bed. Alex caught the flying pillow with both hands and inspected it himself. “So, you still don't think it's magic?” This time, Dale didn't hesitate to say it.

“Magic? Maybe it was telekinesis.”

Dale was still amazed at Alex's knowledge of such complicated ideas and his lack of consideration for anything that broke the physical law. The boy's level of skepticism was getting to him. But how could he possibly know whether Andrew had supernatural powers? Or if he was just playing with their minds without knowing it?

“Do you seriously think that a horse- … sorry, pony, is smarter than a human being? From what I know, even we're not even capable of telepathy, let alone move things with our minds.”

Alex just shrugged off Dale's logic like it was nothing he hadn't heard of before. He knew for a fact that Andrew looked nothing like a regular pony, and even if he did, he had a horn to go with that. For now, he could only speculate that there was a scientific explanation behind it, even if he was too young to understand in detail.

“Yeah I know. Just sayin'. Magic is the last option I'd explain it with.”

“What's you first option?” Andrew asked.

“Well...” He paused for a moment to find the right word. “Um...”

“Admit it dude, you have nothing.” Dale tried to make Alex reconsider, but this time in a benevolent tone. As much as it would make him feel bad, Dale needed to know if Alex was on the same page, no, the same book.

“Alright man, I have no idea. I just don't think we should jump to the conclusions here.”

All three of them knew that Alex was right. But what else could they do? Get an expert? An expert on what? Certainly there wasn't anyone on Earth who knew how to fix Andrew.

It troubled Andrew to think of how long he'd have to stay... like this. Being a unicorn isn't exactly on his fantasy wish list. Nor is he going to give himself up to the interest of society, letting scientists rip him up and conduct weird experiments on him. It's just not going to happen. All he could do is wait for a miracle or commit- … NO! No matter what you think, taking your own life is never the option. Period. This was not the end. It's crazy to ever think about it. Besides, how would his family take it?

“Andrew?”

He snapped out of his trance. Alex's soft voice pulled him out of the dark river rapids of conception. Somehow he had become unaware that his brother was staring at him again.

“Huh?” he lifted his head.

“What are you thinking of?” Alex became visibly concerned, noticing that something was bothering his older sibling.

“Nothing. It's nothing,” he responded, looking away insincerely.

Dale also took notice in Andrew's dejection. It was as if his friend was starting to lose himself completely, carelessly lying to protect his bemusement. Whatever was going through that guy's mind was clearly not helping to lighten his mood. His facial expressions made it easy to read his thoughts. As much as it pained Dale to argue with his best friend, he had no other choice. No more hiding your feelings from the world, Andrew. Time for him to be the one to concede.

“No, it's not nothing,” Dale began. “I can see it in your eyes.” He couldn't help but be reminded of how large they were, like sparkling glass marbles with golden rings encased with shining oil at the center, surrounded by a sea of paper white ice. They were simply amazing to look at.

Andrew gave his best friend a weary look. From the tone in Dale's voice and the facial expression that came with it, this called for another verbal standoff. He had a habit of getting himself into undesirable situations for the sake of trying to keep his internal struggles to himself. There was no other way to defuse the tension with Dale and Alex but with careful responses.

“Look, I know you're worried about something,” Dale continued. “Something I don't quite understand. I can't bear to watch you do this to yourself.”

“Do what to myself?” Andrew needed to know he meant.

“Beat yourself up inside. None of this is your fault. As far as we know, something or someone is playing with us. Making us lose our sanity by doing this to you and letting others around you to think that they have gone mad. I'm intelligent enough to know that I'm not imagining any of this, and I know Alex, here, feels the same way. Right?” Dale gestured his arm out to the placid youngster sitting crisscrossed on the bed.

“Absolutely,” Alex agreed in a gentle tone.

“So when you sit there and tell yourself that your life might be over, it's not. You were right when you told me that I didn't care as much, but I do now. I'm not going anywhere. I assume Alex won't either.” Alex nodded his head at this. “Why don't we think positive and have ourselves a bite to eat. You guys hungry?”

“We just ate like an hour ago,” Andrew took a few seconds to reply, still trying to take in everything that was said to him in the last sixty seconds by his best friend. “And it's almost 2 o'clock.”

“I know, I think we could use some food to relieve our stress and maybe try your little emotional session again. You look tired.” Dale chuckled and looked back at Andrew after staring off to the side for a moment.

“I am. I've been tired all day. Anyway, yeah, I think I could use-”

Andrew was cut off by a sudden small burst of light right in front of him. All three of them jumped as the sound met their ears, lasting only a fraction of a second.

“What the?” Alex bellowed.

There, laying right in front of Andrew on the blue carpet, was a green apple. At that very same moment, Andrew's phone started to ring.

---

Friday, February 24
Webster High School
St. Louis, Missouri
2:40PM, 23 hours ago

It was the last class period of the day and it has been one looong day for the majority of the students in Junior level Chemistry class. The lecture had been going on for the past forty-five minutes, but it felt like hours to four guys sitting at a lab station in one corner of the room.

“How much longer do we have to sit through this?” complained the one in the Batman t-shirt.

“Five more minutes, dude,” replied the oldest of the bunch, wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses.

“Ughhh!” All four teenagers groaned with displeasure. one looked up at the clock and the rest laid their heads on the black marble table. In the center of the square table there were a series of plastic canisters that contained various assortments of elements from the Periodic Table. They had already finished their tasks assigned by the teacher and were eagerly waiting for the bell to ring anytime.

“Come on guys, it's not all that bad. I mean, chemistry is cool,” one of them began.

“Shut up Andrew, nobody cares,” retorted the same teen in the Batman shirt.

“I'm just sayin', Peter.” Andrew felt insulted, but didn't take it too far with retaliation and put his head on the table again. “You should consider it.”

There was an awkward silence that followed after they repeatedly sighed and groaned about eleventh grade torture. Andrew gave a little thought into what he wanted to say to stir up a conversation, but didn't really have a plan himself. He had to improvise.

“So... what do you guys wanna do this weekend?” Andrew looked at the three of his friends, one at a time, starting with the impatient one sitting directly in front of him. “Peter?” Then on to the oldest one sitting to the right of Peter. “Steven?” Then looking right beside him to his left, his best friend. “Dale?”

“I just want school to be over,” Dale said, as the rest of them nodded.

“I do to, but we got the weekend. Lets do something, guys.” Andrew crossed his arms, put them on the table, and leaned forward as if he finally stumped someone in a trivia game.

“Like what?” Peter asked.

“I don't know. I'm open to suggestions.” Andrew lightly slammed his right hand on the table, careful not to make to loud of a noise. He scanned the faces of his friends and looked for imperfections in their expressions to detect if they were giving it any thought.

“How 'bout we... … wait, never mind.” For a second, Peter had an idea, but quickly scrapped it for being too lame. As if playing video games couldn't get any worse with them fighting over whose turn it was to take on the next wave of Covenant forces in Halo while the rest of them watched.

“We can go to the mall,” suggested Dale.

“You kidding me dude,” Peter snorted. He put his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his fist. “It's so boring there.”

“Oh yeah genius, you have a better idea?” Dale raised his head and chest at the bored teen to appear intimidating.

“Slow down there man, you know I can kick your a-”

“Why don't we chill at my place?” Steven interrupted.

The three other adolescents looked at his emotionless expression and stared at this aviators for a solid three seconds. As if it they haven't already been over to each others' houses a hundred times over, it was still better than video games, the mall, trolling people on the Internet, or... well, video games. Maybe they'd eventually do all those things during the day anyway. Despite being the farthest away from school, it was obvious to them that it would be worth it to visit Steven's house for the weekend. After all, the last time any of them visited Steven was well before Christmas break.

“Sure, why not?” Andrew agreed. “We can think of something to do there when we come over tomorrow.” The others nodded their heads. They were all so tired and mentally exhausted from a busy week in the prison they call education.

Suddenly, a long high-pitched moan came from the ceiling of the classroom, indicating the end of the period.

“Finally!” Peter threw his arms up and was quick to rise off his stool. Andrew, Steven, and Dale soon followed their outgoing friend out the door.

The sea of Junior and Senior students died down as the four of them walked to the main street that accustomed rows of school buses and a countless amount of cars sitting in traffic on a narrow strip of road for drop-off. They followed Peter to his bus, weaving their way around a group of hyperactive freshman who got in their way one too many times. Peter was the only one who rode the bus to and from school. Steven had his mother pick him up on the third hour of the afternoon every day, dropped him off at home, and headed straight back to work. Andrew and Dale simply walked home because they lived only six blocks away, or about a mile and a half, from the school campus. Neither of them had anything to attend to after school since none of them did any real extracurricular activities that interested them.

“See ya guys later,” Peter said, waving his friends off from his open window seat as the bus took off down the road to make a left turn.

Minutes after walking west, Steven stopped at his usual spot to wait for his mother to arrive in due time. He pulled out his earphones, connected the end to his iPod, and stuck them in his ears. Andrew and Dale each brofisted him as he scrolled to his playlist of BFMV songs and selected his favorite. They left him alone to listen to his music.

It had been another long and miserable day. Andrew was beginning to regret not eating lunch. It was his fault with the foolish mistake of forgetting to turn on the alarm clock by his bed. Walking six blocks in the cold winter weather while hungry was definitely going to suck. Thankfully, he had his best friend by his side for the journey home. Maybe Dale had something left over from his homemade lunch.

“Hey man, do you have anything to eat? I'm starving.”

“I told you to get off Skype last night when it got late. You know better than to stay up after midnight on a school night playing Minecraft,” he replied.

“I know, but that game is so addicting.” Andrew tried to make it sound like a good reason.

“Whatever bro.” Dale reached into one of the pockets of his backpack and dug out a brown paper bag that once held a homemade bagel turkey sandwich and a berry flavored juice pouch. Andrew knew this by sitting with him at lunch time and sitting at the table, feeling like an idiot with no food to fill his stomach with.

“Here.” Dale took out a bar of chocolate. “Let's split this. I was saving it for today.”

“Why?”

“Because it's Friday. I like Fridays.”

“Good point.”

Dale unwrapped the chocolate bar and snapped the candy in half. He gave Andrew the half still inside the wrapper and had the other half for himself. They continued to walk along the right side of the sidewalk. The crowd of other high school kids gradually thinned out around the surrounding neighborhoods until it was just the two of them. They walked up to the last block before their street came into view. The satisfaction of the delicious milk chocolate made Andrew lose track on how close they were to home.

“Oh look at that, were here,” Dale said.

“Hmhmmhm,” Andrew looked up from his sweet candy to notice the familiar, white house at the corner of the street, perpendicular to the one they've been walking down since they left school grounds.

“Oh look, my mom isn't home. Wanna come inside?”

Andrew finished the last piece of his chocolate and licked his fingers. He thought for a moment before remembering something.

“Nah man, I got to do some chores and my homework,” he said, stuffing the empty wrapper in his pocket.

“Oh come on. You need to stop worrying too much about the things you have to do and spend a little more time with us. We really need to hang out more.” Dale knew Andrew was a well rounded fear of getting into trouble when associating with other people. That is what made him a bit anti-social and shy among people, including his friends.

“I can't, I got to-”

“What's gotten into you lately, Andrew?” Dale put his arm on Andrew's left shoulder. “You don't seem like yourself. Well, stranger than usual.”

“Nothing, I just got a lot on my mind right now. I'm fine.” Andrew took a deep breath and hope that Dale would believe his lie. The opposite of that lie was true.

“Okay, whatever you say bro. I still think we need to hang out more. You, me, Peter, and Steven. I think tomorrow is a good day to start.”

“We'll see,” Andrew acknowledged that proposition. As much as he wanted to refuse more interactions with people for the next two days, it couldn't hurt to give it a try. Who knows, it could be fun.

Dale started toward the front door as Andrew began to walk in the direction of his own house down the block.

“Later dude,” he yelled.

Instead of a verbal response, Andrew simply gave Dale a weak wave and continued down the sidewalk. Maybe his friend was right. What if he was not living it up with his friends enough to satisfy a good high school year. They've already had a conversation on where each of them were considering going for college. All three of their plans didn't seem that promising.

Peter was thinking of moving east with his grandparents, more specifically, Massachusetts. Steven said something about having a good chance at UCLA, which seems kinda extreme for a guy like him. Dale considered joining Peter with college hunting on the east coast, maybe finding a place that is close to the beach. That would leave Andrew alone in their hometown of St. Louis, the only place he'd ever known. They've been friends since freshman year when they all met in English class, but it felt he's known them way longer than that. They only had a little over a year left before a point in life when college lingered in the minds of most high school seniors.

If they're bonds in friendship didn't get any stronger, then he'd be without anything worth living for. His friends were the only thing that seemed to keep him motivated. Andrew considered his little brother as more of a friend than a sibling, so maybe he counted. His mom and dad helped a little, but they seemed to be a bit wrapped up in their own busy lives that they barely had time for anything. Andrew knew that wasn't true. His parents have had a lot of free time on their hands for a while since his mother found a better job that required less at a higher income. Which was strange, by the way. There was a lot going on that Andrew wondered how he would cope with it all. Especially since he was undecided on a what he wanted to do for a living. Not a clue. To him, the world felt like a small place with the advantage of the Internet that connected him to everything. Only he wasn't satisfied with its repetitive content and lack of humanity of several social networking websites.

Andrew arrived at his front door after contemplating about his friends. His options for the coming couple days were vastly limited because of his age. Dumb state laws, never letting him do anything fun. Never before had he ever been so uncertain of his future that turned his mind into a thick fog.

“I just hope there's something I can use as a guide,” Andrew said to himself. Seconds later, he looked up to see that the clouds weren't in the same depressing state as they were when class ended, but a display of bright orange, red, and yellow streaking across the sky.

Andrew shrugged off the beautiful blanket of flames above him, which could easily be explained with the absorption of all colors of sunlight in the atmosphere except red. Oddly enough, there were more colors visible than just red in the sky, begging for an even deeper, and maybe reasonable, explanation. He thought he could make out the colors green and purple, but it may have been a hallucination.

He unlocked the front door, let himself in, walked up the stairs in a sloppy fashion, threw his backpack on the floor as he entered his bedroom, and buried his head in his pillow. For hours, Andrew lay in is bed, listening to his most played songs, and occasionally lip sang to his favorites, which always made him feel better. Andrew ignored his dying hunger and told his aching body he was not in the mood for food anymore. All he could think was what Dale had said to him earlier about their friendship. He payed no attention to his cat sleeping on his laptop. Oh would he give to take lessons from the cat and sleep in. Time ticked his life away with every passing minute.

Little did he know that, what lay ahead in the wake of the new day, would completely change his life, and maybe even the lives of others.

Comments

[Lab]

a distinct high pitched whaling sound

So like Captain Ahab on helium? "from hell's heart I stab at thee"

[TGbrony]

Even being my second time reading this its kept me up way too late, dozed off twice in this chapter only to be immediately awakened by a phone dropped on the face