Snowed In

by malikvamp

Epilogue

Howdy folks!

So, I've decided that will be doing a full re-write of my story Snowed In. And when I say full re-write, I mean I'm actually going to put some work into it this time. A lot of work.

When I first wrote Snowed In, it was on a whim between a few other projects, more of a distraction then anything, and yet it became quite popular! I've grown to have a strong fondness of the story, and have to wonder what would happen if I actually edited, and re-worked the story into something that I can be really proud of! I'm going to put a lot of work into this, and I'd love some input, and feedback from you guys as I go!

As is now, the hard copy of Snowed In is some 52 pages long in small print with no spacing between lines. It's a lot longer than I thought it was. It may take a while, but it will be done.

Now, this is, more than anything, to test myself as a writer and see what I can do when I really set my heart to something!! I really hope you all stick with me, and continue to enjoy what I craft out of this story.

That said, it is FanFiction, so let's try pleasing the fans, eh? I'd love some advice from you all before I start re-writing this baby. After all, I'm not just talking about some silly little edits here, I plan to fully re-write this story, add and take away from it, and make it something that you can read for a second time and still be surprised! So, I have some questions for you, and I'd really, REALLY like some feedback on these!

They are as follows;
1. What did you like most about the original story?
2. What did you not like about it?
3. What changes would you personally like to see made to this story?
4. Any part of the story that seemed to rushed, and needs to be slowed down and expanded upon?
5. Anything seem to drag on? Up the pace a bit?
6. Maturity level, opinions? As is now it's set so that most audiences can read and enjoy. To risky? Not enough? Side story? You tell me.
7. Anything else you can think of!!

Alright all, there ya go. Now, I know that some 15oo-25oo people finished this story, across the several sites it is posted on, so I really hope some of you are still interested in seeing this continued! Without your critique I won't be able to really make his as amazing as Id like to! Please, if you have a moment, please comment below and let me know you're opinion!

I love you guys, you make writing an experience more enjoyable than I can put into words (Oh, the irony!). Can't wait to hear from you!

-Malik

P.S. I'd love some help with this project!! So, for all you creative types out there, I need editors, and if possible some fan-art for the more dramatic scenes would be fantastic! Everybody who helps will, of course, get full recognition in the story! Let me know below or in a private message!!!

Author's Note:

I love you guys, you have no idea! <3

Comments

[Aderes7Storm]

honestly I enjoyed the story pacing wise. the only thing I can think of more action like scenes and a lil back ground on Dash's past relationship

[Arby]

1. What did you like most about the original story?
AppleDash
2. What did you not like about it?
It seemed a bit rushed.
3. What changes would you personally like to see made to this story?
More drawn out.
4. Any part of the story that seemed to rushed, and needs to be slowed down and expanded upon?
The killer moments. I was hoping for more drawn out but it was like the instant it was revealed he was dangerous, it was suddenly the finale of a Friday the 13th film with the killer only having two victims left before being dealt with.
5. Anything seem to drag on? Up the pace a bit?
Nothing, really.
6. Maturity level, opinions? As is now it's set so that most audiences can read and enjoy. To risky? Not enough? Side story? You tell me.
Needs to be more mature as it's definitely not cutting any shit due to serial killer.
7. Anything else you can think of!!
Just expand upon the whole thing, mainly the killer (perhaps have other cannon fodder go down during the film? Maybe have him meet the rest of the mane 6 or something (without making it obvious who he is) before getting to the cabin to get to the juicy paranoia), and such.

-Arby

[malikvamp]

3522509
awwwww sowwy <3

3522183
Awesome, thanks for the input!! I'll keep that in mind for sure!!

3522357
I really love your input and ideas, thank you a bunch! I'll keep all that in mind, and yeah, I agree, I will be expanding on that character quite a lot!

[metroid_freak]

I think the horror aspect felt tacked-on. There are two stories at work here, each strong enough to be stand-alones. That's just my opinion of course but this has potential.

[The Dusty Mop]

I was expecting pure fluff and while I'm disappointed it wasn't, I liked the story overall, though quoting a comment from the final chapter "The ending left my jimmies very rustled though... ".

Okay, I'll have to say I echo most of Arby Works' suggestions except number 4. I especially like his suggestion on number 7 with maybe meeting the others before making it to the cabin or something. Perhaps when they stayed behind to eat in that one town?

Since I was expecting fluff, I'll be completely honest in saying that I would love to see the hot tub/fire place(before crazy murder dude) scenes expanded on. Of course, that's just me as the avid shipper that I am.

[Sheendough]

The only thing I didn't like was that they each lost a limb. Seemed too unrealistic that they had to lose it so "quickly". At least the ending should be changed in that their wounds would take longer than usual to heal because of the cold exposure. Just a suggestion though. You have the final word.

[happynoname56]

a re-write ok ill roll lets see... definitally pacing...more information on the murderer for it seemed to me like he was a random guy who had escaped jail and is out killing people (like the lovers lane hook dude). uhhh... im not that good at criticizum so yah but i dont think i noticed any gammer errors all though someone else below noticed but thats another comment. not quite sure what else to say maybe more involvement with the others or somethin'.

untill the first chapter of your re-write this is happynoname56 signing off

[Naesthebrony]

Please keep this one up as well please

[Infamous IF]

Imma bee supper busyness abot tis!!!

First off: I liked the idea of this project, however it seemed a little TOO erotic during of scenes. (No offense. You still better than I am).

Secondly: I felt that the other members of the mane six had more time than they needed. If you don't add their conclusion, It may take away the from the whole race against the clock thing, and I also understand how adding that can easily add an extra sub-plot to the story but it gives the final confrontation a little more drama. However that can lead to a "WTF where did the other girls get here and did they just shoot the crazy dude!" Speaking of that, I'm not asking to give Joker- I mean Montgomerey a back story or anything BUT FUCK ME (excuse my french) I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THAT STUPID CLICHE! The definition of Insanity means that someone tries something over and over expecting a different result. (I also knew that before Far Cry 3 If your curious). I've met multiple people with this style of mental illnesses, and there not blood crazy! If I decided to go outside and eat somebodies brains, I don't have a mental illness, I just have too much time on my hands. And besides, most people with mental insanity only result to violence because of fear. And not to dis you or anything, but I find the whole 'love the smell of death' way over done. Sure there are people like that out there, but go the extra mile and be original about it. Give us a REASON why Monty wants blood. WHY he's gut horny! (Give me credit though!)

Third: Pacing was practically perfect for this story, and like I said before moments from the other girls seemed a little out of place but depending on how else you'd do it, probably necessary.

Fourth(ly?): I feel that with THIS sort of fan base, rating it for everyone COULD be allowed, but I'd go the safe rout and rate it Teen for Sex and Gore.

Fifthly: Maybe It was just me, but I felt that sometimes the characters emotions kinda jumped from one to another. "Oh I'm your best friend. WOW your hot in a bikini! Wanna have sex?" Add a little physical contact into play before hand. Also, I don't really remember RD's crush being seen or hinted at almost at ALL before she confessed it. And maybe give a little more tragedy before they 'die'.

fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/100/6/4/be_strong_by_malicieuxx-d4vnm6u.png

Finally: Don't do what others tell you!

images.sodahead.com/polls/000084829/polls_Believe_Nothing___Buddha_Magnet_C11750602_0905_11077_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg

Believe me, taking advice is on it's own, good advice ! But do what YOU think you should do. Who knows, this may be like when they made Watchmen into a movie and everypone hated it, but when ya think about it, it was probably the best film ever made (totally NOT biased at all).

So good luck and follow your heart. Can't wait to read.

[Dragonis999]

while i've only just recently started becoming editor like i would still love to help though just in case i would still get other editors cause each editor spots different things

[For The Plot]

1. What did you like most about the original story?
Humanized AppleDash romancing.

2. What did you not like about it?
The whole killer aspect, and their loss of limbs.

3. What changes would you personally like to see made to this story?
Less killers and limb loss, more romance (and sexy times?)

4. Any part of the story that seemed to rushed, and needs to be slowed down and expanded upon?
The romancing.

5. Anything seem to drag on? Up the pace a bit?
Eh, not really.

6. Maturity level, opinions? As is now it's set so that most audiences can read and enjoy. To risky? Not enough? Side story? You tell me.
Sex. Lots of it.

7. Anything else you can think of!!
Make the story more about romance rather than a killer.

[gaymr_girl]

what did I like about the original story:
The mix of shipping and a killer.
2. What did you not like about it?
It seemed slightly rushed and the shipping came on to fast and almost felt like a couple of harmonic teens having a good time maybe do more development in the story.
3. What changes would you personally like to see made to this story?
Like I said in the above question more development to the story and characters in general.
4. Any part of the story that seemed to rushed, and needs to be slowed down and expanded upon?
The story in general but as Arby Works said the killer felt revealed way to quickly.
5. Anything seem to drag on? Up the pace a bit?
that's like the opposite problem of the story most of it needs to be drawn out a bit more.
6. Maturity level, opinions? As is now it's set so that most audiences can read and enjoy. To risky? Not enough? Side story? You tell me.
Eh this is kind of a dumb question for the internet considering its well the internet. As long as its not r34 I'm cool.
7. Anything else you can think of!!
Do whatever feels right. at least for me directed writing just doesn't flow fluently.

[Spocins]

this story is like...my every years tradicion....yes...thats how much i love this story =/
p.s
for all those who hasn't read this story yet....you better read it you wont regret it ^^

[Cranky]

is there some way we could have a storybook with great stories like this one?
I mean, it meight be a fanfic, but since it's a humaniced version it would be not just a "bronie book"
maybe just "humanize" some other great stories and collect them somewhere.

[Escuro]

There any particular reason why a murderer trying to kill two girls in the snow, and very nearly succeeding before having his head blown off doesn't warrant a dark tag in your mind?

Seriously, there's so much reason for a dark tag in this story that it's rather annoying that there simply isn't one.

I'd say fix it but I'm sure you've long since abandoned this story's comment section.

[DashieDC]

10245609
People still read it cuz its heckin amazing!!!

I loveedd it sooooo much. And im looking forward to check your other books soon
Thankyou for it!!!! 😍🤩😍🤩😍

[Revanius]

Be really cool to see the rewritten version of the story.

[Earth95_Queenie]

1. What did you like most about the original story? the pairing. duh.

2. What did you not like about it? story felt rushed. why couldn't it have been a love story? why make it a horror-thriller-tragedy thing? i just felt like you lost the plot, like, it got away from you and it was trying to be things it weren't supposed to. and losing limbs aint nice at all.

3. What changes would you personally like to see made to this story? the rest of the main 6 should have more parts/roles to play

4. Any part of the story that seemed to rushed, and needs to be slowed down and expanded upon? the romance tbh / the whole fic in general is tagged romance and slice of life. Those genres are totally light-hearted so excuse me when i wasn't expecting a dark type of fic.

5. Anything seem to drag on? Up the pace a bit? idk what to say,

I was once part of a fandom who collectively hated this fanfic author for writing pure hurt (no comfort ending) fics like rape, addiction, abandonment, toxic relationships- I tried making friends with said author and found out that the reason they kept writing such abusive stuff was because they were basically projecting onto that one character, and it makes them happy to relieve what happened to them through that said character. And if that wasn't the most messed up thing ever- in the end, I just left the fandom, it's too much.

in short: maybe don't project onto your favorite characters? it's unhealthy, i think?