What Princesses Need
Part 8: Interrogators
Luna sat on her balcony, head hunched forward in a mournful posture. So it was true then. Her doctor and sister had basically explained that she was a madpony. She had two personalities that ruled over one body. One had molested the innocent Twilight Sparkle in the royal bedchambers. She asked her Lunar Stallions about it, and received confirmations about many of the events that had taken place. The dark alicorn had begged her sister to lock her in a solar-steel cage until she could be made well again, but Celestia had refused. Therapy, her sister bade, and healthy interaction would help her, not sitting in a cage. Luna knew she would have to confront Twilight Sparkle at some point, but she had no idea how she was going to do such a thing. She hung her head. “Mother, what must I do…?” she asked the sky, wishing the great Faust would hear her. But no, no answer. She hung her head again, ashamed.
Deep in Luna’s heart of hearts, she harbored an infatuation for Twilight Sparkle. Ever since their night of fun during Nightmare Night, a little streak of warmth had grown in her chest. The purple mare was beautiful, intelligent, and upright—everything Luna had ever wanted in a companion. But no, she was a subject of the kingdom and not harem material. Celestia had told her that the days of harems and such were over, anyway. She was a smart pony, Luna knew she could hold back such inappropriate urges and still stay friends with Twilight Sparkle. Clearly, Nightmare Moon (and the Lunar Stallions, to a certain degree) had had other plans.
Luna ran over and over doctor Psyche’s explanations of the situation. She had an alternate personality that adored Twilight and wanted to bed her with all due lust. Perhaps Nightmare Moon was no longer her evil half, but her carnal half? The half that wanted good food, good sex, and good company? All her selfish desires that princesses had precious little time to endulge anymore? It seemed to fit. Brushing her mane in a troubled way, the dark alicorn watched the moon rise and pause gingerly at its apex. Midnight.
Turning and going back into her room, she studied herself in a full-length mirror. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Her next appointment with Dr. Psyche was tomorrow night. Could she make progress on her own? He’d identified her triggers. Perhaps… maybe… Licking her lips a little in concentration, Luna thought of Twilight Sparkle. The perfect curve of her cheek, the music of her laughter and the strong confidence of her study-earned knowledge. Purple was a royal color, after all, it made her very appealing to look at.
A low and sexual purr of approval touched her ears.
Luna seized the moment, staring at her reflection. She caught the flicker of magic in her eyes. “We see thou.” She said. “Speak to us, so that we may understand.” The nighttime Princess leaned until her muzzle touched the silvery pane of the mirror. “We want to understand.” She whispered a little desperately. “Please speak, Twilight Sparkle is our only friend, and she is hurting.” Luna said bravely.
“A slight error on our part.” Luna saw, in the reflection, her own mouth moving. “We assumed thy spineless ways melted away in bedroom affairs. Forgive our oversight.” The smirk of cruelty and fun-poking rose on her lips into a mean grin. Luna’s ears wilted back.
“We would never molest Twilight Sparkle.” Luna said firmly. “Thou did, not us.” she stamped a hoof angrily. “Now we have no friends at all. We scared the one we had away.” She pointed at the mirror accusingly.
“Thou dost know we’re both the same mare, right?” Nightmare Moon in the reflection smirked. “We art merely the stronger half that goes after our heart’s desire.” She made a slightly lewd gesture with her hoof, which made Luna blush.
“Twilight Sparkle is off limits, we may not touch her. Thou promised!” Luna accused, trying to shield Twilight from… herself. Her ears turned back in mild revulsion at the conversation that was going on. She was talking to herself in the mirror, and answering herself back. She sighed.
“We did promise.” Nightmare Moon admitted. “But we are not giving her up. Merely switching…” she paused to find the right word, making a circular motion with her hoof. “Tactics,” she decided. “To seduce her.”
“Tia will stop you.” Luna threatened herself. “After what we have done, she will have none of it ever again. Twilight Sparkle will shun us and flee to safety while our sister--”
“While Tia what? Sends us to the moon again? Locks us in a cage?” Nightmare Moon snorted. “As long as I honor our little deal, Tia cannot touch us.” the black mare in the mirror sneered at her weaker half. “Why don’t thou lay back and enjoy the ride?” she said soothingly.
“Spoken like a true rapist, that sentence.” Luna spat angrily. Nightmare Moon gave a whinny of rage, punching the mirror with a hoof. It shattered fantastically, raining pieces all over the floor. The Princess stared at her dark self in one of the shards, glaring at her.
“Twilight Sparkle is ours,” Nightmare Moon hissed. “We need merely adhere to this era’s traditions to make it so. And when that happens, don’t worry-- we shalt share her with you in the way you so secretly wish in your heart of hearts…”
Luna crushed the shard of mirror Nightmare Moon resided in, red in the cheeks. “We art better than that.” She whispered a little desperately, banishing the other side of herself back into darkness. Nightmare Moon slept, and Luna lay on her bed worrying. She’d never felt to vulnerable. Tomorrow was her appointment, she reminded herself.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
There was a singular Lunar Stallion hidden in Ponyville. He hadn’t moved from his spot when Shining Armor had disposed of his fellows. He was smart. He was stealthy. He stuck to shadows like he was supposed to. He—ooh, Twilight Sparkle was coming outside! Straightening a little in his hiding bush, Melancholy leaned forward with an interested frown. Where was she off to, so late at night? The moon was on the rise, and it certainly wasn’t a good time for a mare to be out wandering alone. His Princess had said to keep an eye on the purple mare and to keep her safe. Squaring his shoulders a little, Melancholy slunk quietly from his hiding spot to give chase.
Twilight Sparkle moved quickly and quietly down the sidewalk and towards the edge of town. She cast her gaze nervously around, mumbling nonsense to herself. Her friends had been very understanding when they’d heard what had happened. After all, what were friends for if not to help you in times of great distress?
They’d been spending extra-extra time with her lately, making her feel safe and able to breathe. She’d hosted a few sleepovers at the library, and even been taken out to eat a few times lately. Her little herd of friends lavished her with comfort, trying to coax her out of her frightened shell. But, Twilight knew she would have to confront Luna (Nightmare Moon?) eventually. The only question was when, and how. Celestia had promised Luna would not come near Twilight again, yet she still sent her Lunar Stallions to watch her like the strange ponies that they were. Shuddering a little, Twilight checked over her shoulder. Melancholy froze in shadow, not one to be given away so easily. When the purple mare saw nopony, she continued a bit more quickly on and ducked between two buildings. Sweet Apple Acres was that way, Melancholy knew. She was probably heading over there to spend time with Funnyhat.
Melancholy stutter-stopped when he poked his head around the corner into the alley. Twilight Sparkle was gone! “Huh…?” he whispered, peering around. His glowing golden eyes scanned the area. There were no doors, no big crates to hide behind… just a long shot of a straight alley. He hadn’t heard the pop of teleportation either. Where had she gone? The Lunar Stallion furrowed his brow, leaning and then stepping cautiously out of shadow. He sniff-sniffed a little, his heightened senses telling him the mare was nearby. Clip-clop, clip-clop… his hooves on the cobblestone were loud in the dense evening chill. He squinted, unsure of himself. His eyes flicked downward, and he saw the most unlikely thing. “Ooh! Piece’a’candy!” he said, a great smile flashing across his face. Laying innocently on the ground in front of him was a little yellow candy. Looking around quickly to be sure nopony was watching he picked it up and blew on it a few times, then stuffed it in his mouth. “Mm!” he said, chewing. He pumped his wings a few times, happy at the unexpected treat. Then, perhaps two feet ahead of him, he spotted another sweet lying on the cobblestone. “Ooh! Piece’a’candy!” Melancholy stepped forward, leaning and nibbling it off the ground. Ahead of him was another. And another. And another. There was a trail of candies ahead of him! The armored stallion’s heart soared. How often did one just FIND candy lying around? How lucky was he?! “Ooh! Piece’a’candy! Ooh! Piece’a’candy! Ooh!” he walked slowly down the alleyway, chewing his way through candy after candy, happy as a foal. Then, he came to the mother load.
The stallion stopped to gasp in awe. There in front of him was a whole pile of little candies! He galloped eagerly forward and rope-around-his-hooves-WOOSH-into-the-air! He yelped, wings flapping wildly as he made to cry out for help. It was a snaring rope trap! “Ah got ‘im!” A thick southern accent pervaded over the alleyway.
“I got the bag!” somepony else rushed forward and many hooves reached out to wrestle the poor writhing stallion to the ground. He squirmed feverishly, but there were just too many of them. He had not only lost Twilight Sparkle, but he’d been captured himself! Oh no!
A Short Time Later…
Melancholy was tied to a chair, well, as best as a pony can be tied to a chair to sit upright. The bag was tugged off of his head and he looked feverishly around. He was inside a barn somewhere. “What’s going on?!” he demanded, heaving against his bonds. Six shadows stood around him, all different mares and one stallion. He gulped.
“We gotcha now!” A pink mare bounced into his view in the barely-lit barn, and she flipped on a lamp. She pointed it at him, to the point of almost shoving the bulb up his nose. “We want some questions! Now!” she said seriously.
“Ah think ya’ll mean answers, Pinkie.” The southern accented shadow said, rolling her eyes. Melancholy squinted into shadow, trying to see into the blackness. But no, the light in his face rendered his night vision completely useless. He squirmed a little. “We got some questions fer you, mister Lunar Stallion. If yall cooperate, you can go free.”
“And if I don’t?” Melancholy said stubbornly, his soldier’s pride rising up in his chest.
“We’ll hafta torture the information outta you!” A pegasus mare declared loudly, hovering in the air and making threatening gestures at him. Melancholy wilted a little, gulping. That didn’t sound good.
“We’re not really going to torture the poor thing are we, Rainbow Dash?” A timid voice said in the background. “I mean, maybe if we just asked him super-nicely…?” she trailed off, sounding unsure of herself. Pinkie? Rainbow? The names sounded familiar to Melancholy, but he just couldn’t place them. He always was terrible with names. He knew Princess Luna, and his fellow Lunar Stallions… Twilight Sparkle of course. Shining Armor was high on his name-knowing list. Then there were Twilight’s friends, Diamondbutt, Funnyhat, and so on. He didn’t know any Pinkies or Rainbows. “Maybe you could answer just a couple of questions for us?” said the sweet mare’s voice in the darkness. “If… if it’s not too much trouble, that is…” she trailed off again.
“What is Nightmare Moon’s plan for Twilight Sparkle?” the stallion intruded in the witty banter, wanting to know the cold hard facts. Melancholy clammed up immediately. Nopony was supposed to know about that. “Why does she want her so bad?!” a huge hoof came out of blackness to grab him by the front of his breastplate. “Talk!” demanded the stallion.
“I’m loyal to the Princess of the Moon! I’ll never talk about her plans to others!” Melancholy puffed up his chest to declare. Clearly he had no inkling between Nightmare Moon and Luna, only that both were the Princess so he was loyal to both. “Do your worst!” said the soldier bravely. “I’ll never tell!”
The stallion’s eyes narrowed, and he looked over at the one shadow that was wearing the Stetson. “Hmm… I wonder if they’re really THAT… hey, can I borrow your hat?” he gestured to the Stetson, which was slowly hoofed over. Melancholy shifted in his bonds, unable to squirm away. There was a long silence while the shadowy stallion fiddled with the hat in front of him. Then, the same large hoof reached out and honked the end of Melancholy’s nose. The prisoner watched with interest and something from his face was pressed into the hat and hidden away. “Got. Your. NOSE.” said his captor in a dark voice, gesturing to the hat.
Melancholy’s eyes turned into pinpricks of mortal terror. He crossed them. He couldn’t see his nose! HE COULDN’T SEE HIS NOSE! The poor Lunar Stallion thrashed about, icy-white horror wracking his body. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” he squealed like a mare, tumping his chair over in horror. Everypony in the room winced as he crashed to the ground in a confused heap. “Okay! OKAY! I’LL TALK!” he shrieked. “I’LL TALK!”
End of Part 8
Sweet! I'm NOT the only one crazy enough to be posting story updates at 2 in the morning!
1096025
Lunar Stallion. Duh.
My goodness those lunar stallions are stupid... Love it! On a related note, I keep my nose locked in my nightstand.
-Minty
The phrase "got your nose' has a new sense of humor for me now. Who knew Lunar Stallions were so fond of their noses?
I love the lunar stallions they are adorable
1096032 Yes, I never really understood why the ponies of Equestria enjoyed the harsh daylight over the peaceful yet powerful moonlit night. (Also, why in Tarturus is there a Summer Solstice Celebration but no Winter Solstice Celebration)
Keep updating!
....................................................James Wood as a pony..........a Lunar Puppy at that too huh. I'm good with this =w=''
You took his nose! You heartless and cruel fiends! OH THE HUMANITY!!
Dat family guy reference...and that last bit. Freaking hilarious...
FAMILY GUY REFERENCE!!! Nice, totally did not expect a James Edward Woods moment there. It was nice
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy!”
You've managed to make the Lunar Stallions, the scary, bat like soldiers... adorable. Why are they so cute?
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! Oh dear Faust that's funny!!!
I think I'm going to need to write an angry letter.
Local pet stores should be stocking lunar stallions.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-TjSQDLSiU10/T0cMZe1HnaI/AAAAAAAACtQ/agI0xY5S5QQ/s1600/137280+-+artist-wingwind+luna+mirror+Nightmare_Moon+wallpaper.png
i loved that Luna/Nightmare Moon dialogue. imagining the scene, the mental imagery was really awesome.
1096133
Perfect!
1096097
Humanity?
THIS! IS! EQUESTRIA!!!!!
id go for the candy till the end part where the trap is set up
I see what you did there But the lunar stallions are like big kids it hilarious
God damn it.....
Ah James Woods. I approve of this reference. Luckily the Lunar stallion wasn't sent to be studied by top men.
This chapter made me
fall off my bed while laughinglolAnd yes I really did fall off my bed, though my cat randomly jumping on me probably had something to do with it too.
There's a fine line between comically inept guards and small children in military uniform. You're really dancing on that line. And I love it.
........amazing man!
Another successful chapter. The only thing more hilarious than them torturing him with the nose game, was it actually working.
Oh,those silly Lunar Stallions gotta love them
lol i knew the piece of candy bit was going to turn into a James Wood outcome
love the chapters, keep them coming!
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Piece_0288ff_609389.jpg
Nicely done.
You took his nose........
You sick fuck you.
I'm guessing Celestia got all the competent guards then...
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy! Ooh! Piece’a’candy! Ooh!” ...
The lunar stallions are stealing the show...
1096032
You post late, we read late
QUADRUPLE FACEHOOF
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3132_medium.jpg
QUADRUPLE FACEHOOF
This story keeps cracking me up.
Lunar puppies are simply awesome
Oh jeez. Those Lunar Stallions... You HAVE to love them! Good chapter, can't wait for the next one.
1096090 why dubble post insted of just editing you old mesage?
1096551 I didn't intend to. In fact I didn't even know I had double posted until I got your message. Its gone now.
Family guy reference yay
Now to lock the lunar guard in a wooden box in a storage room with thousands of wooden boxes.
1096159. "I'm so sorry princess!"
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy!”
Where have I heard that before???
And why would you take his nose?!?
You know, My best friend and I will often say OOH Piece 'a candy! to each other at random.
It always will make one of us laugh.
So, Naturally, when I found it here, I did it out loud, in James Wood's voice.
And then had a laughing fit.
....Now I picture Melancholy sounding like James Woods. And now, I'm also amazed at the sheer stupidity of the Lunar Stallions. What, does taking the job come with mandatory mental age regression or something?
NO SLEEP. MUST READ PONES.
i.imgur.com/wcGxl.gif
*READS*
Man those Luna stallions are the perfect formula for comedy goons, freaking hilarious... though one wonders were our Princess of the Night found them...
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy!”
(Me) ...No....
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy!”
(Me) No... You're s'posed to be the SMART one. NO.
“Ooh! Piece’a’candy!” “Ooh! Piece’a’candy!” “Ooh! Piece’a’candy!”
(Me) *headdesks repeatedly*
"Got. Your. NOSE."
(Me) Oh, C'MON! *cries*
---
Loving the story so far, keep it up! :D
1096471 Love it!
community.us.playstation.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/9403iFA56F1741247FAE3/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1
LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A NOSE!
"ooh, piece'a'candy" loved every bit of it, stupid melancholy
1096708 why double post???