Wilson takes a bath

by kapinder

Pro-Log

"Hey Wilson," Fluttershy said knocking on his door. "Are you still alive? You haven't left your room in three days." The door opened and a grey fog left the room. When Fluttershy smelled is she said, "That's aweful, what smells so bad?"

"That's the smell of pollution," Wilson said walking out, taking off his gas mask. "I made this machine that can hold radiation, and use it as power. I was going to make some kind of ventilation, but got to lazy."

"Like... Gamma radiation?" Fluttershy asked quickly closing the door.

"Yeah, Gamma works the best."

"Is... is that even safe?" Fluttershy asked nervously. "Didn't you hear about the radiation disaster at Marenobyl." (I apologize if I offended anypony.)

"Well it's in my hooves," Wilson said. "So yeah... we are either completely safe, or completely screwed."

"Can you put the machine in your pawn shop insted?" Fluttershy said. "There is no way that radiation can be good for the animals, and the smell is putting most of them in shock."

"But that means I have to do stuff," Wilson said sighing.

"Please," Fluttershy begged.

"Fine... but you owe me."

Ugh...ok," Fluttershy said. "What do you want?"

"I want you..." Wilson said staring at Fluttershy while putting his hooves on her shoulders. "...To dance and sing the song Milkyshakes in the middle of Ponyville. And yes, you even have to give a lapdance to a random colt." (If you thought I was going to make this a love story... then you don't know me :D)

"Never in my life... will I do that, even if it's not in public..."

"Well that's a shame," Wilson said opening the door to his room and let the fog come back out. "I mean, at worst the animals will turn into cannibals just like on that movie The Mountins have Eyes, or Wrong Path."

"Okay fine I'll do it," Fluttershy said slamming the door shut. "But the second someone calls me a whore, I'm stopping."

"Hurray!"

"But you have to give a random lapdance to a colt also," Fluttershy said. "While I sing it."

"No"

"You have to be my background dancer."

"No."

"Background singer?"

"No."

"Stand there looking stupid."

"No."

"Go a day without wearing your steampunk wings."

"No."

"A day, wearing something that isn't a suit?"

"No."

"Go outside for ten hours."

"No."

"One hour?"

"No."

"Ask Twilight on a date."

"No."

"Rarity?"

"No."

"Ace?"

"Let me think about that... nahh."

"Let me have what ever I want in your pawn shop."

"No."

"One thing?"

"No."

"A picture frame?"

"No."

"Go to a store, buy the smallest box of condoms, and when everypony is looking, ask *is this the smallest you have?*"

"No."

"Buy extra absorbent tampons, and when everypony is looking, say *As you can see... I bleed pretty heavy once a month.*"

"Deal," the two then shook hooved to make it official.

"Ok and... done," Wilson said finishing the ventilation in his building. "Hopefully this place won't break down, like it normally does."

The major of Ponyville walked into what was Wilson's pawn shop, to now what is a nuclear reactor. She said, "Wilson, do you have the proper paperwork in order to harness radiation?"

"Ugh... does this gun count?" Wilson ask pointing a gun at the mayor. "It's not that much paperwork, but if you are going to make a big deal about this, my hoove just might twitch a little."

"Yeah okay you have the right paperwork," The major said nervously walking out. "Sorry for wasting your time. Just... you know... don't kill us all with radiation."

"Yeah, sure, whatever works," Wilson said taking off a hazmat suit. He opened a vent leading to the smoke of the radiation, inhalied it through his nose, closed the vent, and said, "...Smells a lot like death."

"Not your smartest idea," Ender said.

"I think..." Wilson said rocking back and forth. "I think I'm slightly high... should I be concerned?"

"Ugh... maybe," Ender said unsure of what to do. "You just exposed yourself to direct radiation, you might die."

"Sounds like fun," Wilson said leaning against a wall as his eyes slowly dilated. "Luckily... luckily... luckily I'm only using Alpha at the moment... luckily."

The day has passed and Wilson finally went home. Looking at the door, he was completely confused on how to open it. He tried hitting it with his head, throwing rocks at it, and then a spark of knowlegde came to his mine. He slowly inhaled and shouted, "Fluttershy... open the door! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy opened the door and ask, "Why are you yelling?"

Wilson just continually screamed "Fluttershy." She then poked him and Wilson said, "Fluttershy!... oh hey Fluttershy, when did you get here?"

"Okay," Fluttershy sighed. "What did you get high off of this time?"

"Radiation," Wilson said. He took a few steps inside and fell to the ground, "It's some... good shit."

"I think the radiation is killing your brain cells," Fluttershy said as she closed the door.

"No no it's some... good shit," Wilson replied while crawing.

"Don't you think you should shower off all the radiation on you?" Fluttershy asked.

"No... it's good sh," Wilson said falling asleep. Fluttershy sighed as she picked him up, and carried him to his bed.