Aiden had to admit, the Ponyville Hospital was impressive. He’d been taken with the architecture of every city in its own way, but this was more about the technology. Granted, magic stood in for a lot of the computerized stuff he’d see back home, but even so this was more advanced than he’d anticipated.
It was also more… homey, somehow. The colorful halls and rooms had a less sterile feel than the hospitals he’d been in. It didn’t help that he’d rarely been in one for a good reason, but this wasn’t exactly an exception. They were here because Twilight Sparkle’s student, Starlight Glimmer, had seriously hurt herself trying to help get Rarity home. Aiden could relate to that, but he was much more comfortable with being the one who was hurt. He could take it, hardly the first time, etc. and so forth. A pony getting seriously hurt just struck him as wrong somehow. And yet… here was this hospital, all homey and welcoming, so clearly…
He shook off his woolgathering as the nurse trotted them up to the room they’d come for. Rarity and Twilight were with them, while the rest had gone to Rarity’s home so as not to overcrowd the room (and to give Sweetie Belle some help, apparently). Plus, Twilight had mentioned Spike wanted a private reunion with Rarity. Aiden figured he understood that. From what he knew of Spike, the young dragon had once (and perhaps still) carried quite a torch for Rarity, and that was something Aiden also understood. If he was liable to break down upon seeing her again, he wouldn’t want a large audience (particularly of older girls) bearing witness.
With that in mind… “Should we wait out here a few minutes?”
Rarity considered for a moment, and nodded. “That might be-”
The door flew open; one clawed, purple hand holding it in a grip that proceeded to mar the wood. Spike breathed a long, slow sigh through his nose before a smile lit his face. He stepped silently through the door and put his arms around Rarity, holding her tightly.
Aiden watched with a smile of his own as her eyes welled up, and she returned the hug. They held one another for several seconds before he whispered, “Welcome home,” and pulled away.
She smiled down at him and nuzzled his cheek, “Thank you, Spike.”
He stepped to the side of her, and looked up at Aiden. It didn’t occur, until that moment, just how small the dragon was. Shorter than Rarity, he nearly had to crane his neck to make eye contact with (shorter than average) human. “And you brought her home, right?”
“Group effort,” came the reply. He dropped to a crouch, holding out a hand. “I’m Aiden.” Spike took it in a firm grip and shook his hand. Aiden smiled, “Rarity’s told me a lot about you.”
“Heh, so much for a first impression,” Spike replied, grinning.
Aiden laughed. “I doubt she’d ever hear a word against you, let alone speak one. Really, I’m glad to meet you.”
“Likewise. Any friend of Rarity’s is a friend of mine. But come on in, Starlight and Trixie will want to see you both, too.”
“Trixie’s not fussed about it, really.” This from a blue, silver-maned unicorn sitting next to the hospital bed. In contrast to the other magical auras he’d taken note of, this one was… less. It felt like a fireworks festival. Flash over substance, but not in a bad way. The look of clearly faux haughtiness she was directing at them seemed designed to be much the same, as if to say ‘I’m going to pretend I don’t care about this, but I’m going to do it poorly so I don’t fool you.’ “But it’s nice you’re back. Hopefully Starlight can focus on getting better now and not how to hurt herself trying again…”
Aiden hid a grin behind a hand; he could almost feel the vehement snark emanating from Trixie. Bit more substance than first glance, clearly… And speaking of Starlight…
The unicorn in the hospital bed had rolled her eyes at Trixie’s less than subtle cajoling, but there was a calm smile on her face. Purple eyes matched her mane, which was set off nicely by a teal streak alongside lighter purple shades. He wasn’t quite sure about her coat… lilac? Though it was her completely bandaged horn, and odd aura, that regrettably drew the most attention. As Twilight Sparkle had alluded to, she had a potent presence in the aether. But, at least for the moment, it was like looking at a cracked crystal. He could feel pain… and guilt... radiating through it like the embers of a banked fire. Before he could consider it further, Rarity approached the bedside.
“Oh… Starlight, darling, I’m so sorry you-”
“No. Rarity, I’m really glad you’re back. Don’t worry about this,” she said, glancing up to her horn. Her voice was soft, but strong, and she didn’t seem to be in any pain. “Another week and it’ll be completely healed. I can already use my magic fully again-”
“But you’re not going to,” Trixie interjected firmly.
“But I’m not going to,” Starlight mimed, rolling her eyes despite the smile on her lips. She looked at Aiden. “Huh… you really do look a bit like the humans on the other side of the mirror… but then again you don’t. You also have magic… most of them didn’t, beyond tiny traces. Err… well, then again, I wasn’t over there long.”
Rarity blinked, as though remembering. “Twiiiiilight, daaarling. We simply must have a chat comparing our experiences in the ‘human’ worlds.”
If Twilight Sparkle noticed her tone, she made no indication, “Ooh, that sounds amazing! We can compare notes, and make checklists of all the similarities and differences, and oh! What was your first day like? Weren’t the first few minutes just so fascinating? I mean, sure, I was completely freaking out about having hands, but-”
“I got shot, Twilight. A security guard shot me, they threw me in a cell, and then they shot me some more.”
“Oh… heh… err… the humans I met… didn’t do that.”
Rarity held her abashed gaze a moment before giggling and hugging her tightly. “I’m teasing you, dear.”
“Oh! Oh, good. So you… didn’t get shot a bunch of times?”
“Oh no, I absolutely did. He got stabbed though, it was much worse,” Rarity replied, nodding towards Aiden.
“Eh, I dunno,” Aiden shrugged. “I sorta shared those gunshots in that dream, they were pretty damn painful.”
Twilight looked between them, clearly uncomfortable. Aiden frowned inwardly. The Princess of Friendship… she was just so… unassuming, in a good way… I just started thinking of her as Twilight rather than her full name. I’ve known her for minutes… “It’s seriously fine though. We had some trials back on Earth, getting her home, but it was all worth it. ...And frankly a lot of what happened was only a matter of time, whether she’d been there or not,” the last part was still talking to Twilight, but he glanced over at Rarity while saying it, reminding her not to feel guilty over the losses they’d taken while defeating Veritech, and later Garken.
She nodded quietly, though she’d bitten down on her lip.
There was a brief silence as everyone in the room took in what was said, and the implications, before Spike clapped his hands together sharply. “So! We should head over to Rarity’s, right? I’m sure you’ve kept Sweetie Belle waiting long enough. And you probably want to see the Boutique again, right?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow at Spike, and Aiden resisted doing the same. They could both recognize the attempt at persuasion, but… “We?” Rarity asked.
“Oh, uh… yeah. I promised Sweetie Belle I’d be there for… uh… emotional support. You know, if she got… well, too emotional at seeing you, and… uh… heh.”
“Spike, precious scales… you do know fibbing isn’t your forte, right?”
“No!” Spike replied sharply, a blush running over his cheeks. How does a dragon blush? Hmm… how wouldn’t they… eh… “No, no,” he continued, stumbling over the words as he built up steam. “That’s all true, but… err… there’ssomethingelse… anddon’taskmebecauseI’mnotallowedtotellyousolet’sjustgookay?!”
Rarity blinked in surprise, tilting her head back slightly as her ears flicked, trying to parse what he’d said. Then she smiled, and shrugged. “If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Rarity.”
She nodded, still smiling for him, but addressed Starlight. “So what about you two?”
“Strictly monitored bedrest,” Starlight grumbled in a false whine, waving a hoof in a sing song gesture.
“Trixie will stay with her best friend,” Trixie said simply. “She won’t allow Starlight to be alone just because everypony else wants to be everywhere else.”
“Trixie, that’s-” Twilight began.
“Not the case, Trix, and you know it. I’m supposed to be resting, not getting besieged by visitors. I don’t want to risk my horn not healing properly. Besides… you’re all the company I need.” Starlight said, smiling up at her friend.
Trixie flushed and glanced to the side. “Th-... then it’s all settled, isn’t it? I’ll… TRIXIE… Trixie stays here, and you all go away. Now. To a different place. Leaving us alone here. Starlight and Trixie. Alone here. We’ll be fine.”
I bet you will… Aiden twitched at that thought and resisted the urge to facepalm. Goddammit, Cadance. He could swear he heard her laughing, in the distance.
------------------------------------------
Carousel Boutique was an odd building. Setting aside the way it stood out from the surrounding architecture, the fact that it included carousel ponies in its decoration struck Aiden funny. I mean… I guess it’s no odder than mannequins, kind of? ...No, the way they’re on poles is weird and I stand by that.
That aside though, the building was lovely: eye-catching and ornate in its decoration. He realized suddenly that it was just as well he liked it since he’d probably be living there. As Rarity trotted forward and opened the door (with just a second of hesitation and a deep breath), all the lights inside came on.
“SURPRISE!!!!”
Aiden grinned. Why am I not surprised?
There were banners and all the trimmings of a ‘Welcome Back!/Welcome to Ponyville!’ party set up in the barely recognizable front room of the boutique. To be fair, Aiden only recognized it from the shared dream in the first place, and that memory had been at night. This time around…
Aside from the streamers and table laden with snacks there was… a filly in flight. Aiden stepped away from Rarity as a smaller pony tackled her in a fierce hug. “Welcome back! I knew you’d be okay!”
Rarity gasped and burst into happy tears as she hugged her little sister for all she was worth. The rest of the room had gone quiet, taking in the happy moment. The two sisters were understandably oblivious to the audience.
Sweetie Belle… from what Aiden could see, was almost heartstoppingly adorable. Granted, he couldn’t really see her face, what with her nuzzling into Rarity’s neck, but the poofy, pink and purple mane and tail, the off white coat, and ...huh, a shield… coat of arms? Neat… Cutie Mark… the young filly was unfairly cute.
Her friends weren’t too much less so… how does a ribbon that big work... They were both clearly happy for Sweetie, but their attention was on Aiden for the moment. “So, they’re gonna need a minute. Hey, I’m Scootaloo,” said the orange, purple maned pegasus as she held out a hoof.
“Apple Bloom,” the ribbon wearing, yellow earth pony added, doing the same.
Aiden crouched down, drawing an eyebrow perk from the pegasus as she watched him move. He bumped each small hoof, smiling. “Aiden. Nice to meet you both. Gotta say, the whole ‘alien in town’ thing has gone over more smoothly than I’d have expected.”
“Ehh,” Scootaloo replied, grinning up at him. “I mean, sure you’re pretty weird, but weird is what Ponyville does. Gonna try and eat anypony?”
“Really not planning on it, no.”
“We’re good then.”
There were a large number of ponies in the place, which seemed bigger on the inside somehow, though Aiden was sure he was imagining things. As expected, the string of introductions became a theme for awhile...
“Hah! Fifty bits, Bonnie! Told you there were real!”
“...Dammit. Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you.”
“Absolutely fascinating, sir! While I’ve tinkered with time and space travel, the notion of leaving this galaxy is difficult to truly fathom! ...I don’t suppose I could examine your... ‘spaceship’?”
“I’m so happy for Rarity that she made it home, and made such nice friends while she was gone. Did you meet Doc yet? He’s really excited about space travel. It seems really neat!”
“It’s truly remarkable to meet a being from another world that’s so like ours. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Are you enjoying the music? After Vinyl does a couple sets I’ll be joining her to slow things down a bit.”
“...Eeyup.”
...And so forth. Once those and many other introductions were out of the way, the party got into full swing. Aiden had to admit, it was a pretty fun time even if it was fairly tame compared to many parties he’d attended back home. Then again, a lot of those had been along the lines of ‘WE DIDN’T DIE, PARTY LIKE WE’RE ABOUT TO!’ since… that had often felt accurate, during the war. This party was light on booze and rowdiness, but heavy on smiles, laughter, and dance music. ...Which he fully enjoyed. And he wasn’t exactly surprised to discover that Pinkie Pie was a helluva dancer.
------------------------------------------
Rarity smiled, watching Aiden and Pinkie dance alongside several other ponies. Twilight sat next to her, sipping one of the punches that hadn’t been ‘enhanced’. “So… you and Aiden, eh?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow, but refused to be thrown off by a surprisingly direct question. She hadn’t quite admitted they had decided to start seeing each other, but she hadn’t hidden anything. Still, for Twilight to bring it up. Then again, for all she knew Cadance had cheated and given her sister in law a heads up. Besides… the deflection was obvious. “I seem to recall a few stories about somepony else falling for a human as well… a high school student, at that.”
“Hey, I was a high school student, too, at the time… also human, so you know… different hormone panel and nervous system and it was more gratitude and just being-”
“I’m teasing, Twilight,” she grinned, looking at her easily flustered friend. It was remarkable really, how different Twilight seemed to her, now. Getting off the train, she hadn’t even noticed Aiden slipping away, what with Twilight’s aura drowning out everything for that first moment. It had been beautiful… a symphony playing in a starry night. But… “But while we’re addressing oddities… what are you hiding?”
She realized, as Twilight fidgeted, that they both knew what she was referring to. “Hiding? Who’s hiding? What? What’s hiding who? Or… what?”
“Twilight, are you sure you have the non-alcoholic punch?”
“...Probably?”
Rarity giggled. “Darling, please. You noticed me noticing, at the train. Please, just talk to me. What’s happening?”
Twilight breathed a sigh that slowly became a groan. “It’s… you’ve changed, Rarity. Your magic, and your senses, they’re much stronger than when you left.”
“A lot happened on Earth, darling. But even just being there, feeling the differences in the aether field… really absorbing it…” Rarity sighed, shutting her eyes to relive the memories, even the bad ones. “Especially while fearing for my life... feeling the depths of despair and nearly giving up. Twilight, I thought I was going to die and then…” She smiled, opening her eyes to gaze tranquilly at her friend. “Well as I said, a lot happened.”
“I want to hear all about it, when you’re ready,” Twilight replied, placing a supportive hoof on Rarity’s shoulder… and getting a raised eyebrow in exchange. “...And you probably want me to answer your question now, right?” She grinned nervously.
“That would be good, yes. As near as I can tell, you’re suppressing your magic, at least half of it, maybe more.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “You really did improve. It’s hard to measure exactly through senses, but yes you could say half of me is missing.”
“That’s… unfortunate wording, darling. What do you mean?”
Just what I said… it’s something Starlight and I were working on while you were gone, expanding on one of her spells, and I had a breakthrough. It’s not bad, and I can get it back if I need to.”
“But… where is it?”
“I’m… not ready to talk about that yet, not until we know more. It might be nothing. Besides! You just got back, relax and don’t worry about adventures for awhile.”
Rarity stared askance at Twilight for a moment, before sighing. “If you insist, darling. But whatever it is you’re up to, I want to know soon. As you said, my time away has been… eye-opening. I have no intention of giving up my old life, but I have… additional priorities to think about now. Consider it fair trade for Earth stories.” Rarity grinned, evilly. “If you behave… I’ll show you my starship.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide, and glazed over slightly. “...Oh?”
“Mm-hmm, darling… once we get the batteries properly recharged, we can leave the atmosphere with it.”
“Ooh…”
Rarity leaned in to Twilight’s ear. “Land on the moon, perhaps…”
“Oh my…”
She was practically breathing into Twilight’s ear as she whispered, “Even study the stars beyond Sidera’s Veil.”
“Nngh…!” Twilight shuddered, and jerked away, falling out of her chair. Rarity’s magic caught her cup before it could hit the table. “I’m okay!”
Giggling, Rarity picked Twilight up in her telekinesis and set her back on her chair. Twilight, for her part, simply looked wide-eyed as she was gently rearranged. “Really… improved. ...Starship?” She asked, looking at Rarity with huge, adorable eyes.
“Ask Aiden, darling, he has it in his pocket.”
“He… what? Oh, like Pinkie does… that’s what I was feeling from him, okay. I have to say, a human with magic is pretty strange.”
“No darling… strange would be what they call the ‘Internet’.”
“Oh, yeah no argument there, what did you-”
“Um… sorry to interrupt, Twilight,” Spike said, walking up with a wine bottle in one claw, two glasses in the other.
Rarity felt a chill, but Twilight just smiled, unconcerned with the interruption. “What is it, Spike?”
“I uh… I’d like to talk to Rarity. Alone, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh. No, I don’t mind. Rarity, we’ll continue this later?”
Despite her inward concern, she smiled and nodded. “Certainly, darling. Why not go dance with Aiden? He’s ended up drawing quite the crowd on the dance floor.”
“He’s good, isn’t he? ...I’d probably throw him off.”
“Nonsense! Go have fun.” Rarity felt grateful to Aiden. While a big part of her wanted to be closer to him now, especially after what they’d shared on the train… she smiled at that thought… she wasn’t ready to make a big deal of it with everypony in town. This party was about being home again. Even her parents had managed to be here, though she’d lost track of them to a poker game in the kitchen that involved Big Mac, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Silver Spanner. And Aiden seemed to understand that as well as she did. While they’d shared a few dances earlier, they were simple ones before the two had split off to dance with other ponies.
Meanwhile, Twilight looked a little uncertain but headed to the dance floor anyway. And by that I mean my salesroom floor. I hope Pinkie intends to clean the place, because I didn’t intend to spend my first night back cleaning up after a party. ...In retrospect, I probably should have. “Spike, have a seat. What’s on your mind, darling?”
Spike smiled at her, and opened the bottle of wine with his teeth, spitting the cork into an open claw before pocketing it.
“...Charming, but I hope you don’t intend to drink that with me…” It did smell lovely; a fine bouquet even over the various smells from the party… which had included indoor pyrotechnics much to her dismay.
“Ah,” Spike said, holding up a claw as he proceeded to pour into both glasses, a perfect amount in each. “I’m of age… for dragons.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow as she took a glass in her magic. “Really?”
“Yep. ...There’s no minimum age for dragons in Equestrian law. I’ve checked.”
“Spike, that’s-”
“Sensible,” Spike interjected. “Since alcohol doesn’t affect us. Tasty though, and if I drink enough I can breathe blue fire. I bet I could match your mane color…” He chuckled. “I once did purple fire, for Twilight’s birthday. That took a lot of potassium chloride.”
“I… see.”
“So!” he said, raising a glass. Rarity smiled and did the same. “To reunions, and friendships. ...And love.”
Rarity lightly clinked her glass to his. “Cheers, darling.” She took a sip, and it was a lovely flavor to match the enticing scent. “You have good taste, Spike.”
“Yeah. That explains why I fell in love with you.”
Rarity felt that chill again. So, it was finally this conversation. “Ah… thank you for waiting for me to swallow first.”
“Well, it was that or wear the wine. Seemed like a waste.”
“Indeed. ...Spike…”
He held up a claw in a ‘hold on’ gesture. “Let me talk a minute, okay? Don’t answer yet.” She nodded. “I fell in love with you… or so I thought… when we met. But that’s silly. Love isn’t that simple that you can get it with a look. That was a crush… and it never completely went away. But I went at it wrong. I kept trying to win you over… like you were I prize I could earn. ...A piece I could add to my hoard if I were good enough.” Rarity really wanted to interrupt that, but Spike pressed on and she honored his ‘let me talk’ request. “But what do you expect? I was a kid. Still am, some days more than others. I tell myself I’m an adult… what with being Twilight’s assistant for years and all, but I know I’m not there yet.” He smiled. “Did you know, I talked her into that?”
Rarity tilted her head, smiling at visualizing that. “I didn’t! Do tell.”
“Heh… not much to it, really. It wasn’t too long after hatching that I could walk and talk, and I picked up the basics of reading and numbers fast, too. Dragon thing… even if a lot of us stop growing up shortly after that. Buncha jerks… But not too long after that that I was noticing the pony I thought of as my big sister running herself ragged studying for Princess Celestia. I wanted to help… so I did. It started with just bringing her snacks and organizing books and the like. But I wanted more. So I told her: ‘Twilight, I’m your assistant now! I’ll work for you and you’ll be the best princess student ever!’” Rarity giggled at the silly voice he used for that speech. “Of course, she protested that I was too young. But I’d done my homework. There was no minimum age for dragon labor… since they was no precedent for it. So I made my argument. Logical, to the point, persuasive.”
“Is that when you found out about the alcohol age also?”
“Nah, I looked that up later, after Twilight caught me… doesn’t matter. Point is, the reason I never did that with you, ya know, made an argument for us… is I knew you’d turn me down.”
Rarity smiled gently. “Spike…”
“Not done yet,” he said, but returned her smile. “Seriously, why wouldn’t you? I’m not knocking me… I’m pretty great.” Rarity giggled, and didn’t disagree. “But I was too young for you. Like, seriously, ten years from now it’s not such a gap, but now? Seven years ago? Big. Too big. Plus, I was a friend’s little brother. So that’s awkward. And by the time I had really accepted that… I understood why you shushed my confession when we were falling. Seriously… that was just…” He rolled his eyes at himself. “Big brave dragon, only confesses when you won’t even have time to answer him. By the time you were pining over Trenderhoof,” Rarity winced, “I was pretty over you. Over the crush anyway. Because I still love you… and I’m pretty sure I always will. But it’s not that kind of love. So, I’m happy you met someone when you were away. Because so did I.”
Rarity blinked, and her eyes went wide before her pupils dilated to match a wide smile. “Spike, that’s wonderful news! Tell me all about her! Or him! Whomever!”
He grinned sheepishly. “Well, it’s a her… and you know her already. ...Pretty well, actually. So uhh… remember how I said dating a friend’s sister is awkward, right? ...Might have been a poor choice of words.”
Rarity tilted her head a moment as her eyes narrowed… then she burst out laughing. “Wahahahaha! Oh my goodness! Spike! I thought I saw something in your eyes when you mentioned Sweetie earlier. I told myself I was reading into things. You’re serious?!”
“I am. We… well we were spending a lot of time together while you were missing. Comforting each other, you know? But… We’ve always kind of looked after each other, and it all fell into place when I was here cooking. She started singing, and I joined in, and… well…” He blushed, looking away.
Rarity gave him a level look. “I’ll just assume the two of you behaved yourselves in my home in my absence.”
“That’s good of you to assume, Rarity,” Spike replied with mock piety, “Trust is important.”
“Spike…”
“I’m teasing, Rarity; you know me better than that. And you should because… thanks… for everything. We weren’t meant to be, but I’m a better dragon for having you as the first mare to catch my eye.”
“Thank you, Spike… you may be the sweetest person I’ve ever known, and never doubt for an instant: I love you, too.”
He got up, crossed around the table as she hopped down from her seat, and they hugged. “Heh, sweeter than this new guy, eh?”
Rarity laughed. “He’s a wonderful person as well, but you set the bar quite high.”
“He’ll clear it, with your help. I know, because that’s how I did it.”
Rarity felt tears in her eyes. I… have the best friends anyone could ever dream of. She hugged him tighter.
The last song of the night was a cello solo by Octavia, perfect for a slow dance. Rarity had tossed the pretense of hiding what she and Aiden had decided, and happily accepted that dance. She was almost as happy to see Spike dancing with Sweetie Belle, as well as Lyra and Bon Bon, alongside a few other couples. Was that… Doctor Whooves dancing with Twilight? Hmm, was there something there? Was he seeing Ditzy? Hmm… She couldn’t be sure, but Twilight’s slow dancing was a marked improvement over her club ‘dancing’. ...Which wasn’t saying too much.
Aiden smiled at her as they swayed to the soft melody. “Good party?”
“Wonderful party, darling. And for you?”
“Had a great time. And I see what Rainbow meant about the cider. Looking forward to alone time with you, though.” He blinked, and blushed lightly, looking adorable. “...Which is kind of rude to say since we’ve spent a lot of time alone lately but-”
“Shh, I understand, darling,” she giggled, tapping a hoof to his lips. “It’s different now, and I’m looking forward as well. But… to be clear, you’re still in the guest bedroom,” she grinned at him. “...For now.”
“Heh, of course. No one’s rushing here.”
She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. “Why rush such a pleasant ride?”
------------------------------------------
“But how can you bluff like that?! You’re supposed to be Honesty!”
“Ah'm the Bearer, but Ah ain’t mah Element, ya sore-losin’ go-fisher!”
“...Fisher?”
“Pretty sure you didn’t know which card game we were playin’...”
“Oh, hahah… seriously, AJ, how can you bluff like that?”
“It’s easy, Dash… cause it ain’t dishonest.”
“What?! You’re lying about your cards!”
“Ah’m not either… Ah never said ‘Ah have a straight!’. Ah just bet like ah did, or what have ya. It’s part of the game. It ain’t cheatin’, heck it’s encouraged...”
“I still think…”
The conversation trailed off as the two got further from the boutique. Aiden was sitting on the balcony of the second floor, watching the stars settle into place (a rather odd but entertaining experience for him, as one might expect).
“Dem Apples are quite the cardsharps.”
Aiden looked over his shoulder to notice Hondo Flanks, Rarity’s father, had come out onto the balcony as well. “Mind if I join ya?”
“No, sir, not at all.”
“Aww, I ain’t a ‘sir’. Only proper type in the family’s Rarity. Call me Hondo.” As he said this he pulled up a chair next to Aiden. “Least I could say, given what you’ve done for us. Is it true you can’t get home now?”
“Not right away, no. But it’s different than what Rarity had to go through… not least of which for me meeting good folks here right away… and having a guide to begin with. But also, while the ship is damaged, it’s mostly just the power cells that need work. And here on Equus that should be much easier than it was on Earth. We plan to start looking into it soon, and with Rarity’s resources it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Yeah, my little girl’s done pretty damn well for herself. We’re all proud of her,” he smiled, a parent’s smile, Aiden realized. It was one he hadn’t seen directed at himself since… he chuckled inwardly. Actually… I got that smile from Grumman a lot over the years. “And she seems pretty taken with you, even if she’s not making a big deal about it. A father can tell these things…”
“Heh… it’s mutual.”
“Kinda odd, you not bein’ a pony and all… not that I’m prejudiced or nothin’, just a surprise.”
“Does it bother you?”
He chuckled. “Not if it doesn’t bother her. She always wanted the grandiose, ya know? A prince... princess... some great artist... heh, or a hero from another world I guess works, too. ...And now Sweetie is lookin’ awfully close with Spike…”
Aiden couldn’t help laughing. “Your daughters have eclectic tastes in partners, it’d seem.”
“Dunno where they got that from… Celestia knows their mother settled for a plain ole’ schlub.”
Aiden shook his head. “She chose a stallion who helped her raise two amazing daughters.”
Hondo snorted in surprise, and smiled. “Yeah… you’re alright. You take care of Rarity though. She takes care of herself damn fine, but she puts her heart into things fully. ...So take care of it. Hear me?”
Aiden nodded respectfully. “Yes, sir. I definitely hear you, and I fully intend to.”
Hondo chuckled. “Told ya not ta call me… the hay is that? Luna bring a star out late?”
“Eh? Huh…. oh…” Aiden looked up at the bright, quickly moving light in the sky… and felt a chill. “That’s no star… and it’s not one of ours…”
There was a flash from above, and Aiden swore, throwing up a shield as he teleport hopped up, above the balcony and into the sky. He made it in time as the blast of energy smashed into his shield, pulverizing it and flinging him away. Several portal jumps slowed his fall, but distortion around the projectile had been such that he couldn’t portal it directly, and the shield had blown apart absorbing the blast, deflecting it up and away from Ponyville below. Aiden was in a controlled fall, but it had been very close. That would have hit Twilight’s Castle… Another flash, but this time the trajectory…
Aiden watched in horror as a blast wave engulfed Canterlot in the distance.
------------------------------------------
Tempest gazed ahead as shore drew closer. They’d sailed the entire day and into the night but, as Captain Greldik had promised, they would make land soon. She could already faintly see the lights of Baltimare. She told herself she could’ve heard the sounds of the city if not for Garken’s snoring belowdecks, but they really weren’t that close yet.
She didn’t move from her spot at the prow as Sir Gareth joined her.
“Are you still vexed with me, milady?”
She snorted. “I will be, if you call me ‘milady’ again. Other than that… no. I can’t say I’m too thrilled that your ‘Order of Knights’ includes all of twenty griffons, only six of whom are with us.”
“Griffonstone needs protecting as well, mi-…ss Tempest,” Gareth countered reasonably. My brother coordinates our chapterhouse with several others, as well as remote, wandering knights throughout the world.”
“So you already have some presence in Equestria?”
“Of course! Princess Celestia is most welcoming of us and supportive of our cause. But this will be the first time we’ve truly been in a position to lend our aide to a possible global conflict.”
“I take it you were busy when my army invaded Canterlot?”
“In point of fact, we were. Are you familiar with the Arimaspi?”
“Southern giants? Nobility only have one eye?”
“That’s them… your conquest of the various nations surrounding Equestria didn’t include theirs, but the unrest stirred them up considerably, and they attacked their neighbors, including us, seeking to take advantage of the upheaval.”
“I see. ...I’m sorry about that.”
“Do not be! It was a glorious battle against our ancient and hated foes! And besides, had it not been for them, I may have joined in the coalition against the Storm King, and faced you as an enemy… which would leave us in a rather awkward position now.”
“Hmph, maybe. The enemies I should have made for life in Equestria all seemed to forgive me pretty easily.”
“Ahh, but that’s what makes ponies admirable… if occasionally naive seeming to my own people. One of many reasons I’m eager to pledge my aide.”
“That’s good to hear,” she muttered, tensing up as she looked straight ahead, drawing his eyes into line with the sight ahead. He gasped in surprise. “Because Baltimare is burning.”
Orbital bombardment, huh? Yeah, can't get any higher ground than orbit.
Well, unless you're Celestia or Luna. Better hope that ship of theirs has some really fast engines, because assuming the Sisters didn't get too banged up by the attack on Canterlot it's going to need to outrun the moon pretty soon.
Ha, why do I have the feeling that Rarity is much more skilled at magic than Twilight right now and could handily kick her flank (Though I wonder where Twilight has stashed half her magic that she supposedly can retrieve ... that part was pretty weird).
And damn, orbital bombardment? Well, that escalated quickly and suddenly Here's hoping they can nad whomever is shooting with the moon ... or send Discord at it. That should fix them right up.
well crap the shit has hit the fan before the welcome home party is even over.
Well that escalated quickly and I bet Cadence was laughing
Alright, who dropped the megaspells?
Maybe Twilight made a clone? Whatever she did, having half her magic still leaves her well above average I'd think.
9120772
Read love seriously
I'm never a big fan of these sudden escalations into "harm a bunch of innocent civilians to show how serious things are without any prior warning" territory.
To me, they just come across as shoddy authorship.
9121654
Ahh, but has anyone been harmed yet, or does it just look like it from a distance?
For that matter... sudden? The entire B story has been building to an attack, with the Oni king interrogating for information and using Garken to try to recruit Tirek, plus whatever else his other agents have been doing that Sir Gareth mentioned the Griffonian Knights have been keeping tabs on. Tempest and Garken got away from the Oni, but it's not like they really disrupted the plans said Oni have. If anything, their escape would escalate any timetable in place.
Sorry if the work seems shoddy... but I am just writing for fun here. Still, I feel like a major attack was pretty clearly foreshadowed... and again it's too soon to say how effective it really was.
9121805
In writing, appearances are almost as important as truth, because reader impressions are so central to the perception of quality. (feel, tone, and atmosphere are at least 50% of the overall "score" with plot, setting, and character being the other 50%.)
Foreshadowed or not, it came across as very abrupt. Had it been something more like the build-up to the Deathstar destroying Alderaan, it wouldn't have had that problem. (The fundamental issue is that you had this nice little thing following the interpersonal interactions between two different pairs of protagonists and then BAM. Orbital bombardment of a major city.)
9121819
Eh, sorry you're disappointed, but I don't agree. For whatever it's worth, this story doesn't have a dark tag. As much as I like stories like Fallout: Equestria and Mente Materia, this isn't either of those. Next chapter will drop Wednesday (I'm 2k words into it, I don't do buffers), stick around to see what happens, if you'd like. If not, thanks for giving this a shot and sorry it didn't suit you.
Enjoy your day
9120860
I went to search that and was like 'oh, he wrote it, neat!' I'll give it a look as well
9121849
*shrug* Your choice.
To use a musical analogy, Star Wars worked because it used a key shift. What you did felt like a discordant note without the key shift which would have allowed it to harmonize.
I'll keep reading either way, but it does reduce my impression of the story's overall quality.
9123277
That's okay. Can't please everyone, and it's not like I'm going to go back and rewrite it to add thousands more words foreshadowing bad things so you can get the point in time to not be so jarred by it. It's a surprise attack; it's supposed to be jarring. No one called Pearl Harbor the day before.
You got the B story, with all its foreshadowing and insight into what the Oni were doing so you could know, more so than the characters, that bad things were coming. I didn't want to insult your intelligence by beating you over the head with it. Clearly, I didn't do enough for you. I accept that, but I also don't care. Several readers expressed surprise and concern. Those are understandable. You're the only one to start attacking the work, and me. Enough.
I've heard your complaint, considered it, and dismissed it. We are done with this issue.
9123373
Understood. I usually give feedback of this type in the hope that it will help authors improve in the future, as a way to give something in exchange for the free entertainment.
I only "argue on" if it seems that there's a failure to communicate and I do so to try to convey an understanding of my perspective.
It is and always was your story and the most demanding thing I have the right to do for any story is to feel disappointed in its author personally. (And in your case, the only disappointment I feel is that I'm ending this conversation with a clear failure to communicate still present, as you haven't shown any indication that you grasped the distinction I was trying to draw between a well-written surprise attack and how you presented things before you chose to dismiss it.)
9123400
And... you comment AGAIN. I'm running out of civility here.
Hmm... nah. You're confusing 'failure to communicate' with my refusal to believe that you're right and I'm wrong. I have a BA in English Literature and have edited professionally (as well as for a couple people here). I am reading you just fine. You are not failing to communicate. You are simply (to my mind) wrong. Failure to persuade does not denote failure to communicate, unless you consider your opinion the only one that matters.
Now then... to prove I've considered your example, and dismissed it, because yes I've read every word and considered it:
And determined this is a terrible example if you're attempting to tell me I'm in the wrong, which is why I didn't even comment on it until now. My exact thought was 'Is this guy serious? Does he think he can hide behind Star Wars just because I've referenced it?' Sidenote: if I've incorrectly assumed your gender, I apologize for that.
Anywho... Tarkin interrogated and threatened Leia, and then, after she pretended to break and gave him a name, he blew it up anyway. He even said 'Dantooine is too remote' so he was going to blow up Alderaan to prove the Death Star was serious. He, in universe, invoked the very thing you're whining about. He wasn't even punishing her; he didn't know she'd lied. The closest he came to emotion (ever) was later in the film when he complained to Vader: "She lied. She lied to us!" So it was a sudden, abrupt, vicious terror attack basically because they could... that was the point.
And how much build up do you need? Yeesh, I already felt I put it off too long, thinking to myself 'gosh, nice of the Oni King to wait for Aiden and Rarity to party in Ponyville before kicking off the damn plot'. As much as I enjoyed writing their journey through Equestria, it was almost pure fan service. ...Including me, as a fan. Does it help the plot that Aiden's met all these ponies? Sure, and that's the only reason I could justify delaying as long as I did. Meanwhile, I had the B story let you know shit was going to go down. We had torture, a 'destroy the world' plot (complete with 'sacrificing the strongest among Equestrians', to paraphrase myself), death, and a mention of WMD type things. If you didn't pick up on that, it's on you. Me, a shoddy author? Perhaps so. ...But maybe you're also a shoddy reader? Something to consider.
Back to Star Wars. Alderaan blew up... And Leia cared... for a few seconds. We cared for less. Alderaan? Never seen it other than a little blue marble special effect, no emotional investment. Obi-Wan went 'oh damn, gotta sit down' for a few seconds, and that's it. When they got to the Death Star Leia was all 'little short for a stormtrooper?', snarky and ready to go. We never got any emotional impact of anything, from anyone, about Alderaan ever again. It was nothing more than the movie showcasing what the Death Star could do. It didn't strike you as discordant because it was so light on emotional impact that it didn't stand out as anything other than a special effect 'boom'. It may as well have not happened, other than to show us the Death Star is serious business, and could blow up Yavin Four. It was a showcase plot point... exactly what you're complaining about here. And that was okay! Because it wasn't supposed to be a dark movie. Lucas wasn't going to have us dwelling on the (perhaps billions) dead, including surely some friends and family of Leia's. That would bring down the adventure. Instead, we focused on goofy stormtroopers and their terrible, terrible aim. But it was surely abrupt, and terrible, and it was no more foreshadowed than what just happened.
Are you sure your motivations are what you claim they are? Or are you just nervous about an HIE that seems to casually end pony lives? ...'Cause I'd be nervous about that, too, but we aren't going dark tag here. And just in case my introductions during the grand tour weren't clue enough, I damn sure don't consider ponies weak victims that I can casually blow up for the sake of an edgy story twist.
Still, guess what? The Oni are serious business, and they can fire weapons at Canterlot. However! We don't even know (or rather, you don't, I already had that part written before reading your first comment) how it resolves. I'm guessing, at this point, you won't like it. But that's okay. Not everyone will.
Your argument had no cogency, and thus you didn't establish any credibility by making it, so my initial response was to not tear it apart, because why do that? But that was your shot. I'm not one of those 'you haven't written anything here, so I will dismiss your opinion' types. If I was, I wouldn't have responded the first time. Or the second, or the third. But no, I'm willing to let an argument stand on its own, and consider the merits. But I did, and didn't find any. This isn't about not hearing or not respecting that you care enough to speak up. That, I appreciate. However... when your example is basically the same thing as your complaint... perhaps you can see where we might have both been better off letting it go.
Now, despite this little delay, next chapter is still tomorrow... at some point.
9123788
Sorry. I hope you'll allow me one last response. Regardless of how it's received, this will be my last reply.
(I start to panic when I find myself in an "everything I try to salvage the situation seems to make your impression of me worse" situation, so I'd really appreciate it if you allow me that much.)
When I wrote my previous reply, I was so tired that I began with the intent to bow out in a polite, civil manner and, by the end, my tendency toward "refuge in verbosity" had given my exhausted mind enough rope to hang itself with.
However, your most recent response only makes me more certain that there is a real miscommunication. (When you analyze the Star Wars scene in question, you seem to be focusing on addressing points I never intended and making arguments I never disagreed with in the first place.)
If you don't think it's worth your time, feel free to skip over the rest of this comment, but I'd appreciate the chance to redeem myself.
In hindsight, that should have been "I'm ending this conversation with a strong sense that I've failed to communicate".
I was honestly too tired to remember that you referenced it.
I just chose it because it was the first thing that came to mind when I reached for an example of an unarguably well-edited work where villains fire a beam of energy from space and what the reader/viewer can see gives the impression of massive harm to innocents.
Casual ending of lives isn't usually my cup of tea, but that wasn't the issue I was focused on. (And, as you said, there's no Dark tag and we haven't actually seen the result yet.)
The aspect of Star Wars that I was trying to draw attention to was how, prior to the superlaser firing, the scene spent a fair bit of time implicitly preparing the tone and acclimatizing the viewer to the idea.
To approach the analogy from a different angle, what you wrote felt (to me, at least) more like if Star Wars had cut directly from Luke and company to Tarkin giving the order and a more abridged version of the Death Star's firing sequence, skipping the interaction with Leia and collapsing away the gravitas-enhancing switch-flipping and button-pushing.
My comment was a sloppy and overly verbose attempt to make these two points which I was originally too tired to distill:
9123994
"Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.”~Edward Albee
So it took us awhile to reach this point, and without the words that were annoying me, we probably would have gotten there sooner (shoddy, disappointed, etc). BUT, that's on me. Because while I maintain we were communicating, speaking for myself I clearly wasn't doing it well either. Without an extended scene of the Oni King's hand on the button, I still thought I'd put enough in place that readers would be ready for something sudden, and bad. Since for at least one reader, who has cared enough about the fic to argue with me (and I meant what I said, I appreciate that even if my tone suggested otherwise, or else I wouldn't have replied at all), that wasn't the case. It will be something I keep in mind in the future.
As to me referencing Star Wars... Aiden and Rarity watched the trilogy (the first trilogy, not the prequels, no fan leads with those), with a bit of commentary, in the first fic. Rarity even redesigned her aura around Joyeuse to mimic a lightsaber after seeing the movies.
Ahh, ya know now that I'm picturing that it's actually kind of hilarious with how jarring it is. 'Commence primary ignition', indeed. To think I could have avoided some of this if I hadn't ended the chapter right there. Minor indirect spoiler: It's only supposed to be the appearance of a dark cliffhanger, which is why I felt I could jump right to it with just the warnings I'd given. I really did feel I'd already put it off too long... but I really wanted the party in Ponyville.
Me too, but let's not worry about it. My previous comment opened with as much surprise as anything, though I admit I was a little annoyed at saying 'this is the end of this discussion' in a comments section where I'm the moderator and then finding another reply. That said, I'm glad for this response, it spelled out what you're saying better for me than the previous. Now... I'm still not rewriting anything, but I hear you better than I did.
Also, thank you... you spurred me into writing this morning to get my mind off of dwelling on this plot point. I'm at 3k words with probably 2k to go, give or take. Might be posted today before I sleep (EST here, but I work nights).
I'll admit I got a little rude there at the end, sorry about that. That said, if I genuinely felt you were wasting my time, I wouldn't have responded. I didn't upvote them like I do most of the comments I get (though not all)... because I didn't agree with them. But I damn sure won't downvote them, or look poorly on you, because of them. And I read every comment, every word, regardless of how I feel about them. Someone took the time to comment on my story? Damn right I'm reading that, and I thank each and every person who does so... mostly (as soon as I thank everyone I'll get some troll who actually does waste my time).
We had a disagreement, it happens. Also... while I note myself as moderator, I will certainly allow people to speak their minds, as long as it's just me they're yelling at (metaphorically speaking) and not breaking any site rules. I really hope to never reach a point where I'm genuinely tempted to delete/ignore anything here. This wasn't even close to that.
Ah, one last thing, I checked your user page here earlier (curious about my debate opponent ) and grabbed a few reading suggestions for myself from your recommended lists. Thanks for the tips, I need to put something like that together myself at some point. It'd have a few of the same ones, iirc.
Ooh, EDIT concerning your second point: The reason I did NOT do any prose lines setting up is actually a direct choice. I've been reading the Maretian here on fimfic (recommended if you haven't checked it out already) and for awhile there every damn time blank prose showed up in that fic it was like a giant ringing bell going 'BAD SHIT GONNA HAPPEN!' and as a result, I shied away from using it. Granted, it probably wouldn't have been much to begin with... but I was just like 'nah, I want this to be jarring'. Clearly... too much, heh...
Love the little talk between Rarity and Spike. He's very mature, now.
...
Mature enough for a moustache.
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9579032
Oh Crap indeed!
God I hope not! I know this fic is five years old but still the only official ship I'll accept with Twilight is TwiSet...