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  • 1w, 4d
    This has nothing to do with ponies at all

    but, I just... I can't not spread this. It would make me LESS ME.


    It's so beautiful. It's like being a Youtube hit a couple years back wasn't good enough for this song, and Goku beat it up a bunch, so it's activated its final form.

    9 comments · 58 views
  • 2w, 2d
    444 followers!

    It's not a milestone, it's just neat.

    1 comments · 30 views
  • 2w, 2d
    Goldenarbiter I'm calling you out

    10 comments · 118 views
  • 2w, 2d
    I hope that the rest of your seat is still okay

    BECAUSE YOU CAN FINALLY LEAVE THE EDGE

    THAT'S RIGHT

    IT'S HAPPENING

    Oh my god, is that

    IS THAT

    IT IS

    It's a HARPFLANK AND SWEETS UPDATE. Oh my goooooooood. DID I NOT SAY that I was still working on it, just very very very very very very slowly? I DO NOT LIE, MY FRIENDS. I AM NOT A LIAR.  OH MY GOD IT FEELS GOOD TO UPDATE YOU CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE.

    Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, though, I'll be honest, I'm a little out of practice. I'm happy to put it out there, I want people to see it, but I'm not sure it's as good as it could be if I was still putting words on a page regularly. Still, go read it, and I'll talk about it after the break.

    BREAK

    SO HOW ABOUT THAT LYRABON HUH

    HAD YOU GOING FOR A MINUTE THERE DIDN'T I

    The second thing is, wow, it kind of sucks. I don't mean, like, "bloo bloo I am so bad bloo bloo," but you can really see my lack of dedication seeping through the cracks. The finale is barely a finale and when you look at the episode as a whole very little actually HAPPENS. Also the emotional arc is like, an actually kind of important one but is over in about three seconds? It was originally intended as a kind of filler while I wrapped my mind around some other stuff but, well, we all saw how that turned out. Also, my increasing reliance on people having read all the companion stories is maybe starting to hurt the narrative maybe perhaps sort of definitely all the time. The whole LyraBon thing is based upon a bunch of emotional stuff that happens in OTHER STORIES, and on reading this back that was one of the things that struck me most.

    Also man I have to stop writing Harpflank and Sweets stories about disillusionment. OR SHOULD I, HE SAYS, SUDDENLY REALISING AS HE TYPES THIS THAT DISILLUSIONMENT IS LIKE THE CENTRAL THEME OF THE WHOLE THING

    OKAY NOW HERE'S THE BIG ONE. I mentioned other stories, and that brings me to the this-is-probably-going-to-be-hugely-misunderstood-by-people-who-don't-read-blog-posts part.

    HARPFLANK AND SWEETS IS NOW MARKED AS COMPLETE

    BUT

    IS

    NOT

    COMPLETE

    and I'ma tell you why. Harpflank and Sweets was never intended to be one story. "Harpflank and Sweets" was originally the first story, with the mega-cello and the fish and the constant stream of fandom references (IT WAS SEASON TWO OKAY CUT ME SOME SLACK WE WERE ALL DOING IT), but it grew into this whole thing because, man, I just really enjoy writing that stuff. I really really do. Every time I come back to it I'm all "OH YEAH I TOTALLY LOVE THIS WHY DID I EVER STOP" and then me being me gets in the way.

    Anyway, the point is, Harpflank and Sweets is not a story - it's a bunch of stories that, over time, happen to have developed an overarching narrative. I mean, that was always the WHOLE JOKE, that I was dipping in and out of a narrative that was much bigger than the snippets I was relaying. But over time all the stories being in one place, and that infernal "incomplete" tag, and, dear god, please don't take offence at this everyone who knows I'm talking about them, all these reviewers whom I wub and respect saying they "won't review it because it's not complete" started to twist that for me and it became something I had to finish rather than a fun place to play around in. So, as of now, I'm marking it as complete, because every "chapter" in that "story" IS complete - because they're EACH THEIR OWN STORY. When people talk about "Harpflank and Sweets" (har har like people talk about harpflank and sweets) I want them to be talking about the things that make up what it is, not the story that it isn't. Also I want people to review it COUGH COUGH

    "BUT," I hear you say, "YOU HAVE OTHER H+S STORIES THAT ARE SEPARATE." Okay, fair point. But the difference is that they are not Harpflank and Sweets The Thing. They are... asides, appendices, things that I thought up and wanted to write but didn't put in the main thing because they're not EPISODES. Everything in the story called "Harpflank and Sweets" is Harpflank and Sweets. Everything else is A Harpflank And Sweets Thing.

    So, yes. Mods, if this is ILLEGIT, then I'll change it back. But so far as I'm concerned, it's a collection of related things and if I don't mark it complete now, it never ever will be. And I think that would suck for me most of all.

    WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE NEXT BIG THING

    A million years ago, someone commented on Traditions (jesus can you believe that is the LAST STORY I PUBLISHED?). This is the comment, and I'ma address it now.

    THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HARPFLANK AND SWEETS CANON WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT

    Do what this guy did. Take what you like, and that's what's true. You see, for me, I just like writing about my versions of these characters. Yes, they're just basically OCs. Yes, Derpy is COMPLETELY CONTRARY TO ALL OTHER PORTRAYALS OF DERPY TO MY ETERNAL SHAME BUT SECRET PRIDE. Yes, they're NOT THAT GREAT AS CHARACTERS. But I just like using them! I liked writing about ponies because I had a world pre-made for me that I could just write stories in without having to think too hard. And then I made my own world using parts of that one, and I can write stories in it without having to think too hard. And that's all Traditions and Forced Introspection and all that other bollocks are. They are STORIES THAT ARE SET IN THE H+S WORLD, BUT NOT NECESSARILY H+S STORIES, EVEN WHEN THEY FEATURE H+S.

    BUT

    They do inform each other. Like I said before, the LyraBon stuff in S2E21 is even more awful and shoehorned if you haven't read Interval or Forced Introspection, where the depths and nature of Lyra and Bon-Bon's friendship has been explored a little. And, in my head, Vinyl and Tavi are definitely not boning on an annual basis and do not have a weird platonic passive-aggressive-not-love relationship because, well, that's dumb. But I wanted to write that story and Vinyl and Tavi, MY Vinyl and Tavi, were in the right place for that story to be about them. That's not really a story about what happens in the H+Sverse, it's a story about the Vinyl and Tavi from the H+Sverse. What I DO think about Vinyl and Tavi's relationship will have to wait until the Hearts and Hooves episode I swear I will write one day.

    Anyway, the point is, if you read an H+S story and you don't like it, throw it out! It didn't happen. Or, it did, but not the way I wrote it. BUT the stories I write about H+S come out of the characters I have in my head so they are generally pretty true representations of the characters AS PEOPLE so even if the stories may not actually be true, the characters probably are. Which is a bit confusing but WHATEVER. Like, using Traditions as an example again, even though I don't really think Vinyl and Tavi are doing what they do in Traditions, that story IS about my Vinyl and Tavi. Anyway, basically, nothing is canon, except for everything. JUST TO MAKE LIFE SIMPLE FOR YOU.

    Okay, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoyed the story, and my blather. If you're still paying attention or, god bless you, still writing H+S stories after all this time, COME ON LET'S DANCE COME ON LET'S DANCE BABY


    EDIT: Harpflank and Sweets has been added to "i might read this later"

    Bookshelves are just the gift that keeps on giving, mirite?

    6 comments · 247 views
  • 2w, 3d
    Storybook Vision

    Watch your back. If you hand out anymore "Looks Fine", I think people might start coming for you. They know your name. YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE.

    5 comments · 60 views
  • ...
 91
 5,628

Twilight is invited to become a member of the Minds, an elite intellectual organisation. But when Trixie crashes the ceremony with an army of changelings, Twilight is forced to take drastic action. Will she succeed and live free? Or will she have to... twi harder?

- Written for the League Of Extraordinary Gentlecolts MYSTERY ficswap, and originally posted by AestheticB for MYSTERIOUS reasons. Of MYSTERY.

Winner of the Storybook Vision Looks Fine Award

First Published
29th Jul 2012
Last Modified
29th Jul 2012
#1 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Two new Twilight Comedy/Random stories in a row :rainbowderp:, man I'm going to laugh today :rainbowlaugh:

#2 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

I just love how you do these cutie marks to indicate who's talking!

#3 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

This is pretty nice. I like it.

#4 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Cool, Asthetic's only one shot since Sparkle's Law!

#6 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

ok um it was all um what :pinkiegasp::facehoof:

#7 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

I, uhhhh... what!? :derpyderp2:

“Thanks, Rarity. I’m really glad you came.”

The faintest hint of a flush crept into Rarity’s cheeks as Twilight scurried away, and she coughed daintily.

Yes. Well. Quite.

:rainbowlaugh: I loved that bit

Overall this was brilliant, a sheer level of :rainbowhuh: and :pinkiecrazy: all the way through.

On a side note if you don't mind... WHERE IS THE IMMORTAL GAME!?!? :flutterrage:

#8 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

That... that was amazing.

#9 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Twilight being the epitome of Bruce Willis...well, I better put this one in my read later list! :pinkiehappy:

Silver out!

#10 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

I love the cover picture.

EDIT after reading: Eh, it was ok. I would assume that it is much funnier if you watch Die Hard before hand.

#11 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

That was AMAZING!! :rainbowlaugh:

Though I have to admit, every time there's a hostage situation, I can't stop but keep thinking this one line: shoot the hostage. Even though that had no applicable scenario here.

Hmm... just needs music, too.

I also just noticed that I have your other two stories on 'Read Later'.

#12 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Yippie kai :yay:, motherbucker. :twilightangry2:

#13 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Manga/anime levels of power-ups and chaos ensues...

I recognize 'Star Swirl's Ludicral Improbabilitinator' from Madness Combat with its 'Improbability Drive'.  Have you watched that flash?

#14 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

This wasn't just awesome. It wasn't just amazing.

It was glorious.

#15 · 121w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Twi'd the Hardest!

It's been quite a day for Twilight in hero stories. Can't say I'm not happy about that!

Cool action, wonderful imagination and messed up spells!

Though you didn't have her crawling through any ventilation shafts. You ruined the whole thing! Tell Trixie to start over, with more feeling!

Let's hope Twilight doesn't end this story... With a Vengeance!

#16 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

lol the ending...

#17 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

"Twi Harder"

I GET IT!

#19 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh that was awesome.

But the mood seemed inappropriately dark at times and when those periods changed to comedy suddenly, it was a little jarring. But great story anyway.

#20 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Ha ha, awesome sauce. Twilight is definitely the the best action pony! To the library!

#21 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

That was bucking epic. And hey, I got to read about Twilight being awesome without watching her get mind raped this time. :yay:

#22 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

I will read this... sometime...

Sounds cool.

#23 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

That was... interesting. A bit of laughs here and there, but honestly, the whole technological shenanigans felt really off. I mean, on an enviroment that's all magic and mythic creatures, suddenly having a cyborg with a chainsaw for a tail, missiles and jetpacks was kind of confusing. Maybe I didn't completely get the Ludicral Improbabilitinator's effect, but I think it would have been better if you had just stuck to purely magical - big bladed spikes on the dragon tail, magical wings on the minotaurs, magical energy condensed into a missile. That kinda thing

#24 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>990819 The function of Star Swirl's Ludicral Improbabilitinator is to make everything possible more epic. Technology that should not exist comes out of freaking nowhere, minions poof into existence at the drop of a hat. Weapons will appear from hammer space for no adequately explained reason. Star Swirl developed the spell by studying the effects of chaos magic itself. He researched all known accounts of Discord's magic and eventually developed the time travel spell to take samples of the energy directly from one of his attacks. It essentially dictates that the odds of anything happening are as close to 100% as possible. This can have both positive and negative effects as the hero will make death-defying escapes but will also be presented with near impossible challenges. The use of the spell was banned after Star Swirl used it to save the kingdom from an alliance of griffons and dragons only to follow up by stealing the royal regalia from a heavily guarded vault.

#25 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh. My. God. Ahahahahaha.

AND THAT ENDING..

#26 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Very creative, very original, very awesome. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#27 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Ludicral Improbabilitinator

I still have absolutely no idea what this does.:twilightsheepish:

#28 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>991558

It's like the infinite improbability drive of action movies, in my opinion.

#29 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Awwww yeah. This was one hell of a good read. I love the final twist, very well done. While I expected it to be a misunderstanding/trick/joke (at the point everyone was really damn bored being held hostage), I did not see it coming that the spells on Twi would work so... well. :pinkiecrazy:

Fantastic story. Have all me Favs.

#30 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

have my fav.

The only reason I read this is because of that amazing pun in the description, but i stayed for the awesome story

Good work!

#31 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh wow, that was fantastic!

Take my thumbs, an entry on my user page (wall of awesome oneshots), and all of my love.

#32 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>991730 Pretty much. As soon as I saw this, I knew that some wacky shit was going to go down.

#33 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

You had me at "Twi harder" :pinkiehappy:

#34 · 121w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

This is the first comedy of yours I've read, and a wonderful one at that.  I'm glad to see that you're not a one tricky pony of war! :trixieshiftright:

:raritydespair: But, darling, "begun" simply can never be used as a verb.  I do wish you'd take me up on my grammar pre-reading offer sometime, as I have begun to notice a trend that began in TIG.

#35 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>989707 :ajbemused:

Currently Editing:

Primary: The Immortal Game - 21

Status: Second Stage Edits (That means the others. This will take awhile.)

#36 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>992133

Ah I see, thanks, really I just wanted to know what stage it was at since it hadn't updated in so long :twilightsmile:

#37 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>992205 You can check that on AestheticB's page, under the blog-post. I just copied it from there.:raritywink:

#38 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>992278

Oh, I must've missed that post somehow :derpytongue2:

#39 · 121w, 1d ago · · ·

>>989995

First time I've audibly laughed at a joke on the internet in weeks. Kudos.

That story was amazing. I enjoyed every second of it. I thought from the title it'd be a dumb joke story, but it was absolutely amazing. The cutie mark transitions were brilliant, and the entirety of the story was brilliantly written.

By the way, you're clearly a brit. Caught you on "maths".

#40 · 121w, 22h ago · · ·

O.O <==click

Let's make a movie out of this:pinkiehappy:

#41 · 121w, 20h ago · · ·

I'm a little disappointed that Twilight's motivation at the end was 'the spell's making me do it' and not 'this is what you get for :yay:ing with my head like that'.  It's what I'd do.

#42 · 121w, 19h ago · · ·

So AWESOME:rainbowkiss:

#43 · 121w, 19h ago · · ·

>>990356

Where the fuck did you get that GIF?

Tell me. TELL ME NOW!

#44 · 121w, 18h ago · · ·

>>994352 Its from a season three song. My friend made it for me.

#45 · 121w, 17h ago · 1 · ·

>>992342

Bitch please. He's Canadian.

#46 · 121w, 9h ago · · ·

I just spent five minutes looking for the first part you :trollestia:

*Goes on to read.*

EDIT: That ending... Funny but I think you should have hinted she's a bit happy to conform to that paradigm because they deserved it.

#47 · 121w, 4h ago · · ·

Your ability to accurately detail and plan action scenes in an engaging manner is the same as always.

Side note: "And the paradigm says that even heroes go bad"  Everyone knows actions heroes go rogue

#48 · 120w, 3d ago · · ·

What the... have I just read.

#49 · 120w, 1d ago · · ·

Best action comedy ever! And yes, action heroes do go rouge! :rainbowlaugh:

The cyborg/chainsaw dragon, jetpack-wearing Manticores and the missile launcher-wielding Changelings did it for me! And that ending! :rainbowlaugh:

Silver out!

#50 · 120w, 2h ago · · ·

I can't read this story for one sole reason, I have to read Twi Hard first, I can't start reading in the middle of a series, especially when it is based off of the awesome Die Hard series even if only loosely based off of it.

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