Twilight's friends have had enough, resulting in a terrible split among the mane six.
Finding herself almost completely alone after the events of the Storm King's invasion, Twilight needs some new insight into her purpose in life. She's hurt where it matters the most, the spark of friendship in her failing to rekindle, and she knows she can't just stay in Ponyville after what happened.
She gets to thinking... She liked the adventures she went on. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have some more.
First story published on FIMfiction. Rating is subject to change.
Chapters (5)
Wow poor Twilight.
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow all need to be slapped.
I wonder why no one is mentioning that doing that Sonic Rainboom™ was the stupidest thing that RD could have done, since it signalled their position in that cloud bank like a lighthouse in a storm.
Then again, why didn't Twilight try to stop her?
Heh, spoke too soon:
hmmm...
This is already interesting me.
Okay, but, Celestia needs to acknowledge that they have lives outside of Twilight and can't just go flocking to her side whenever she needs them. Pinkie LIVES with her employers, do you think she can just skip work each time Twilight needs help? Dash worked long and hard to get into the wonderbolts, Rarity owns multiple boutiques, Fluttershy takes care of animals, Applejack is one of the only two ponies old enough to keep the farm going without having health problems because they're in their later years.
Rainbow's points were valid, how many times can they leave their responsibilities for Twilight? How many times can they be expected to put their lives aside because of a little tiff in Equestria? They didn't have these problems before Twilight showed up and hell they probably never would've had these problems had she never shown up!
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They had good points, and honestly, I think that they did the right thing
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The myriad ranting certainly did raise some valid points, Perhaps they should have talked to Twilight about the problems they had, like the adults they are purported to be, rather than letting them fester? It is entirely reasonable that they object to being on call to go adventuring at the drop of a hat, but in not voicing their objections to Twilight, they really absolve her of any wrongdoing; she can't take their problems into consideration if she doesn't know they exist.
From the start to the end, I was always with this: The rest of the Mane 6 expected that things could turn well with such a wishy-washy behavior. By the point Twilight stole the pearl, there have been so many setbacks and so many problems and the time to save everyone was running. "It worked fine in the end" doesn't cut the fact that they risked their own lifes and the future of Equestria with their careless behavior. That's why I empathized with Twilight and not the rest of the Mane 6 when she ranted. And again, is not just they who could have suffered a shady fate, they pretty much risked the future of thousands and thousands of ponies!!
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Twi kinda did try. At first, she didn't realize that's what Dash was doing, but when she started, there's no way Twi could keep up to stop her, magic or no.
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Yo
No offense, but could you too like.... stop making page long comments that are just you two arguing? It is pretty vexing.
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Eh, I'm done now anyway, I'm just gonna sit here and watch the down-votes accumulate on zimmerwald1915 silly comments.
Nice chapter… i cant wait to see Twilight in other places.. like the changeling kingdom, Yakaistan or even the Dragon Lands.
I can't see Pinkie being entirely happy with the others after this.
She won't drop them as friends, but not entirely happy with them.
As for Spike.... I can totally see him entirely just dropping interactions with the others, including Rarity, for making his best friend and sister/mother depending on opinions, leave.
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How else is one meant to engage with a story? Silently and passively?
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I think I agree. He eventually followed Twilight after the fight on the beach, after all.
Somehow I already knew Twilight and Pinkie's relationship could be saved. I like when Pinkie acts wacky while still being able to act smart and allowed to have some awareness of what's going on. Very often Pinkie is played in an exessive childish way it can comes off as annoying, but you actually managed to make her very likeable.
Thankfully, maybe this travel will give some peace of mind to Twilight while helping others.
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He even openly defied celestia in Equestria Girls and followed Twilight into the mirror.
Clearly he is the one that is most loyal to Twilight specificly.
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Thank you.
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Maybe without arguing with everyone?
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No wonder in Return Of Harmony Twilight picked Spike to act as RD's element when she was out.
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And before that, in The Crystal Empire.
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That's not too surprising, I believe.
Twilight might be a good friend to the others (or not, as is turning out to be the case here), but to Spike she is family. The others have been Twilight's companions for a few years, to Spike she has been his big sister/mother/it's compilicated figure since the day he was born. And as Sombra's dark magic door showed, his biggest fear is that Twilight would someday abandon him. They have spent most of their lives together practically joined at the hip; it's little wonder he would stand by her.
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I am actually somewhat surprised Twilight actually went out alone, without taking him along. Granted, she's pretty stressed at the moment and it's all somewhat of a spur of the moment thing and she likely wants to clear her head and take a deep breath on her lonesome with no distractions, but still ... eh, we will see how it goes. At least Spike ought to get a chance or two to yell at the local numbskulls when they eventually come knocking
Speaking of Twilight and the adventure she is now embarking on - I wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea to make a stop at the Crystal Empire? She's as welcome there as always, and I imagine having a talk to Cadence (and maybe Shining) and spending some time cooing over Flurry Heart could only do her some good, and it doesn't seem like she has a specific destination in mind anyway.
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The map did show Shining and Cadance's cutie marks, so they'll likely play a role in the events of the story(and more than definitely have some choice words for Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow).
I absolutely love this story!
Normally, in these types of stories where Twilight breaks off from her friends, Twilight leaves everything behind and becomes strong enough to take all Equestria. But this story is just shining from so much originality and a sense of understanding of how these characters would act in this type of situation. I love that Twilight still has something to come home to, but, at the moment, there is something that makes her want to stay away.
I'm curious where all the characters are going to go. Fluttershy will come back to Ponyvill and will probably have cooled down enough to want to talk to Twilight, but maybe feel responsible for Twilight being gone because she didn't come back soon enough. Pinkie might have a little resentment towards Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity. But will still be their friend. Starlight and Spike will probably get alot closer and be act like brother and sister with moma Twilight gone and big sister Starlight looking out for Spike. They will probably be a lot more wary of Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity. Probably enough for Spike's rose tinted glasses to come off of his crush for Rarity. Celestia and Twilight will become a lot closer because Celestia definitely misses the letters between them, they also might become less formal with each other (like dropping titles, using jokes, ect).
Now for Applejack, I feel, if you are going down the root of everyone becoming friends with each other at the end, like she would see the mistakes she had made first. She wouldn't be as stubborn as Rainbow or Rarity about missing the presence of Twi...
I see what you've done you clever writer! Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity, Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The CMC are definitely going to miss Twilight, and actually might be a bit angry with their 'sisters' if they learn the truth. They will probably realize how much Twilight has done for them and their family and how she has helped them achieve their dream job, especially Rainbow.
Actually back to what I want to say, Rarity is a d***.
Yup, that's all I gots to say
She should really grab Tempest. After all not only is Tempest clearly a skilled combantant but she has actually lived beyond Equeistria so she would probably make a decent guide. If she isn't locked up or something.
The movie isn't my cup of tea. In the long run, the plot was just a reminder that the ponies saving Equestria are a herd of 6: one makes mountains out of molehills, the rest just treat missions as vacations or "awesome" adventures, and nothing more.
Add to that, the guards are nowhere to be seen and the other princesses are too caught up in the celebration to even notice a weeping Pegasus statue, (the foals would probably be worse), and look even more incompetent when caught with their pants down.
Tempest Shadow was right. If Equestria put more effort into their guarding, they might have lasted longer.
So not only did those morons damage their friendship with Twilight even more, but they also directly disobeyed Celestia, who specifically told them to leave Twilight alone.
I say 100%
Applejack did.
Why do writers keep forgetting this?
And keeping them from talking it out with Twilight ensures nothing will get better. Gosh, Celestia's an idiot.
Then again, the others are also quite bent into jerkasses to justify Twilight going off on her own. I'm very much hoping this isn't an Anon-A-Miss story in hiding, but I fear that's precisely what it is.
I kinda really want to hear about those adventures.
And its a good lesson. Friendships and relationships aren't always on the up & up. You have lows, even crashes.
Thanks for writing this. :)
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Because it was one pony speaking one to two lines to her in the midst of their initial defeat in Chrysalis' invasion.
Twilight brushed it off at first with "she fooled everypony," but a few words can be forgotten in the midst of the chaos. Negative experiences also accumulate, especially in the mind of someone who is easily stressed who just had another bad experience with the same people— or, in this case, ponies. The others followed a pony princess that they didn't know and wouldn't have looked for Twilight until it was too late if she didn't show up during or after the wedding (assuming Chrysalis stayed hidden for that long) and only really apologized when shit hit the fan and it looked like they'd lost.
I must confess, I have a hard time getting into the conflict because it feels... very forced. If it's just going to be the rest of the world now despising these three after they have been pushed into jerkass roles, well, then it won't be for me.
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You're literally in a group called "rape." That's kind of disconcerting.
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She's keeping them from making things worse right now. Tensions are going to be high the morning after a huge adventure and an argument/talk like that, and unless they were going to apologize for going behind her back and go in with level heads, something they don't have right then, especially without Fluttershy, Celestia doesn't want them near Twilight.
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No worries. Hopefully later chapters will fix these issues.
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Do my kinks make me incapable of reading anything else? That would be very bad for me; what am I going to do with my Discworld book collection then?
(I'm also a member of Rage Reviews, though I'm too shy to do much raging)
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We'll see. And about that, I noticed Twilight, in this chapter, even pointing out how stupid her friends were behaving, and that kinda shines a light on the problem.
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Not really, but the context of the comment and seeing *that* was concerning.
In any case, it's good to know I've been keeping up with their movie selves. They weren't the smartest there, either, they were acting like children. Felt like an almost entirely different cast and makes me wonder if they should be cranky butts about it before they realize hey, they just pushed away one of their friends, maybe they should get their act back together and talk it out like adults. They're a little late on that now.
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True, the thing is I feel like they didn't say anything because of the age old excuse: 'It would hurt her feelings' Even in newer episodes it's clear the six hide things from each other.
And if we look back at season one they all had connections before Twilight was in the picture. They've seen her reactions to not being involved in something like an inside joke for God's sakes. It's fair to say Twi over reacts more than Rarity does over minor details.
And if they had told her what would've happen then? She would've gone on an entire spiel about how horrible she is and how she could've been a better friend.
The problem could be resolved with a nice talk about how the six feel and how they want to stop the adventures. But it's clear to see that along the way they've taken so steps back from being true friends.
Which is why people should look at it from that light. After a while the adrenaline from the adventures dies off and it gets boring. And if this story was in the same timeline as the school they five could've had much more reason to protest.
They undergo these things because Twi istheir friend, but some honesty could go far here.
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Convenience for a story, along with it being from a relatively old episode makes for easy slips of the memory that are filled in by something else that works for the story they're writing.
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Considering that the rest of the group's reactions were less "I'm Sorry" and more "Shit, she caught us" I'd say it's justified. At least three out of the six legitimately meant every word, and would likely repeat them to Twilight's face.
Not pony porn?
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Not that forcefully keeping them apart is going to fix the problem of them talking behind her back. Which is one of the main conflicts of this story.
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Is that really the goal you wish to go for, though? If you feel the movie's characterisation was so bad, is making them stupid jerks any improvement?
For that matter, it's sad and telling to see Spike helping Rarity also simply boiled down to her being an abusive liar only out for herself. As if Spike didn't have any agency and didn't get anything in return. The narrative comes down firmly on Twilight's side here too, so I'm not seeing them getting a chance to have much of a point, honestly.
But, I could be proven wrong in future chapters.
... Huh. I just realised.
Twilight is incredibly angry at her friends for talking about her behind her back.
Which is exactly what she did about Cadance before the wedding. Before she thought Cadance was flat-out evil. She kept bad-mouthing her all the time.
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You should have seen the one I wrote back in 2012 when I got mad over the Mare-Do-Well episode.
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Even before the evil part, fake Cadence was being a jerk. Conversely, when her friends talked on Twilight's back, she tried to apologize for everything beforehand and tried to make amends.
Honestly, this story seems pretty well-written, but I just really can't deal with the way Rarity, Rainbow and Applejack are acting here, I just can't see them acting this way, not even the movie versions which you seem to think are so awful. They feel way too out-of-character for me, and the fic feels like it's trying too hard to stick with show-canon for it to get away with having them act like this. Sorry, maybe I'm just a bit more forgiving than you when it comes to the movie, or other things in the show, but everything about this fic just feels...wrong.
So far I'm enjoying it though I'm a bit confused why this is a Mature rated story.
I applaud the originality and hope you continue with it. :)
Curious...I wonder if Twilight will run into all the enemies of her ex-friends? After all their are two sides to everything... Lightning Dust, Gilda, Flim and Flam etc....if given the chance would she listen to the sides these prideful characters undoubtedly hide? Would they eventually befriend her to various degrees?
I really like this story dude! It raises some really good points on both sides without it becoming a full on accusation/correction fic (not that those aren't good or fun). But rather it feels like it's something that could've actually occurred and progressed the plot if mlp wasn't marketed for little girls.
My only advice for you is that you don't turn this into an typical Anon-A-Miss. You already avoided the whole "Sunset (Twi) realizes friendship sucks and gives up on it completely/is driven to depression and even suicide" so you're doin' really well on that front!
Now you just gotta avoid "the Rainbooms (the main 6 minus Twi) were pieces of shit and are going to grovel at Sunset's (Twi's) feet/hooves to earn mend the broken bonds." Both sides were at fault and both sides have made a decisive final choice that they seem to be sticking to. Twi is the type that would blame herself more than what is usually necessary due to her low self-esteem/image and Rares, RD, and AJ aren't usually this bad. Maybe some adjustments are in order or maybe you've already planned something like this out! And maybe a more sincere apology is in order for the future but it'll just be a bit boring if they were to turn back and shout apologies at each other until they turn blue.
Also, while Anon-A-Miss tends to be a more accusation/correction fic with drama and tears up the wazoo, yours is more of a down to earth, realistic take on friendships while keeping a bit of that ponyland quirkiness and charm to it. All the while allowing Twi to take a more adult and in-depth view of what friendship is and how it operates, more like the earlier seasons.
I mean the newer seasons are fine and all but it was nice to see the mane 6 flounder about, learning things in a more simple, slightly more realistic(?) manner. Instead of dropping a bunch of characters, both new and old, into the limelight with tons of new places to explore, seemingly to spice up the stories rather than slowly integrate them in with some nice world and character building.
Suffice to say, you're doing great so far bud and I can see some great character and world building in the future along with the newer friendship lessons! I see tons of potential and great things in the future so keep checking out the comments for constructive criticism and keep at it!!!
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I set it to mature and had forgotten to change it. It was originally going to be darker but after writing the first couple of chapters at 3 AM, I found I didn't want to go the edgy route.
Though my sailor swearing is an issue
SIT DOWN MURPHY!