Stop the Rain
She stood in the pouring rain, her muzzle pressed up against the window of an accessory shop. Every single drop of rain felt equally cold against her coat, but she didn't care, her eyes were stuck onto the beautiful jewellery lined up across the window shelves. One thing caught her attention in particular. A mesmerising, crystal lotus hairpin made of various coloured crystals combined. It was incredibly pretty, shimmering in the light, but it wouldn't suit her. Nothing like that ever suited her.
"Hey Tempest, I could arrest you for loitering," a monotonous voice echoed behind her.
She turned around and launched a spark of unstable magic at the guard's expressionless face. The guard dodged casually and yawned. "You're going to have to do better than that if you want to take me down." he said.
When the unicorn set foot in the Crystal Empire, word quickly got around how she was the pony that captured four princesses as well as singlehandedly turning three to obsidian. While Princess Cadance, the Princess of Love, was forgiving, her husband did not take the news very well. He had secretly assigned a rookie Crystal Guard, to keep watch of her during her stay.
She sent a petrifying glare at him. "Want to try me?" she challenged.
"Tempting," the guard replied, seriously considering a small chance at revenge for her past assault on his princess. "But Captain Shining's already got me in trouble today."
"What did you do?"
"I messed up this morning, when we were doing team building exercises..."
"And?"
"...and I also slept on my shift."
"Rookie." she smirked.
The guard tapped on the shop's window with his spear. "Why are you standing outside an accessory shop in the rain anyway?" he questioned.
"Why are you still here?" The unicorn shot back defensively.
He turned away, she had a point, he is a pegasus and most of his kind aren't fond of rain. The winged ponies tend to fly above the clouds to avoid getting their feathers wet. "Fine, I'll go kill time elsewhere."
"So you're just going to leave a lady out in the rain by herself?" She yelled at him.
The guard sighed and extended a wing over her head. "Who said you were a lady?" he retorted.
She bucked him on his unarmored side angrily. "Why does everypony assume I like being a tomcolt?" she spat.
"You sure act like one," he shrugged, retracting his wing, rubbing his side.
The unicorn went face to face with the guard and sparked her broken horn. "Well, maybe I just want to be pretty for once!" she shouted. Her patience was way past boiling point. Everypony always murmured around her, but to hear somepony say it to her hurt the most. Even if the rest of Equestria saw her for who she was, she wanted at least one pony to see her as what she wanted to be. If only somepony would just open their eyes to what she wanted them to see her as. If only somepony was able to see her as just another unicorn mare.
"Maybe I want to be like other mares! Maybe I want to dress up and have a girl's night!" she shouted. "Maybe... Maybe I don't want to be seen as a crippled killing machine anymore."
The guard kept his gaze on her and blinked.
She placed a hoof against the cool glass window and cracked a small smile. "I like... things like these."
He stared at her with an unreadable expression, but the unicorn's eyes were no longer glaring at him, instead towards the ground. At that moment she seemed so little, so unlike the former lieutenant of the Storm King, the agile and strong hornless unicorn. She looked like a little filly who was just told she wasn't pretty enough. She looked weak. He shifted on the spot before taking action.
She watched as he entered the shop, snatched the lotus pin off the shelf and slammed it down in front of the shop assistant. A few minutes later he came out holding a tiny gift bag.
The guard threw the wrapping aside and stuffed the pin into her loose, wet mane. "Happy now? Won't go wandering out in the rain like a lost filly?"
"You're littering," She pointed at the crumpled up wrapping. "What kind of Crystal Guard are you?"
"The kind who does whatever he wants."
He began to fly off back to the castle. "See you later, Lady."
As soon as he left, she could feel the cold of her wet coat much more than before. He was getting further and further away, his orange coat fading into the distance. If she let him go, If she let him fly off, it would be over. A potential friend would be taken away, just like everything else she had was taken ever since her horn was broken.
Darn it, don't just fly away.
She watched as he stopped and landed for a second. Perhaps to turn around. Maybe he'd forgotten to tell her something. Then he began trotting. In the end, she was just being hopeful.
No, I won't let it end this way.
Her hoof touched the pin in her hair, the pin that guard had given her. She was dripping wet and freezing, but it made her feel special. It made her feel beautiful. Before she knew it, she started galloping after the stallion, splashing through the puddles across the Crystal Empire.
"Hey, rookie!"
She bucked him on his hind, sending him tumbling forward into a puddle of rainwater. She didn't care about the rain anymore, the rain didn't seem to bother her. Even though it soaked her coat and her hair, even though it would soon give her a cold, it made the lotus sparkle like never before. It made her sparkle.
"What the heck, Lady?! You trying to get yourself arrested or something? I have an inspection at the end of the day you know! Captain's going to kill me if he sees this dent..."
The guard's ranting faded as he gazed at the dark coloured unicorn, staring back at him with a stern yet calming gaze.
"I forgot to say thank you," she says, breaking the silence between them.
He blushed and looked away. "No problem..."
"I want to start over. My name is Fizzlepop Berrytwist. Nice to meet you." She extended a hoof.
He took her hoof in his, "I'm Flash Sentry. Pleasure, to meet you." He replied as they shook hoofs.
She smiled. Her heart brimmed with happiness. She had a feeling the rain wouldn't bother her anymore.
"How did you catch a cold in the middle of Summer?" a male pug-faced hedgehog asked.
His name is Grubber, a former servant of the Storm King who decided to tag along with his female companion on her trip. He placed a glass of warm tea on her bedside table and sat on an unoccupied chair.
Fizzlepop opened her eyes and glanced at the hedgehog who was currently eating pie. "Did you buy that pie with my bits?"
"Forgive and forget, am I right, friend?" Grubber answered nervously.
He turned to the window, "Heh, funny how we use to be servants of ol' Storm King, but we can't stop this rainstorm."
Fizzlepop Berrytwist sighed as she closed her eyes, "It did stop." she smiled, remembering her earlier encounter with her new friend Flash Sentry.
End
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- GravityDefyingCoffeeMug · 1.9k words · 51 4 · 1.4k views
- Godslittleprincess · 3.1k words · 18 3 · 801 views
- Thestoryteller · 3.1k words · 16 2 · 1.2k views
- Banshee531 · 55k words · 59 7 · 3.5k views
- BioQuillFiction · 4k words · 82 6 · 3.3k views
- SilverKaizoku · 2k words · 27 1 · 2k views
- GravityDefyingCoffeeMug · 4.2k words · 28 2 · 995 views
- Silver Spear · 4.3k words · 28 2 · 2.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.168 seconds
Total duration
976 users online
1,183,449 hits today, 2,439,861 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Very, very nice! A good friendship story is a great way to start the day. Thank you!
8864081
Thank you for reading the story! I'll try my best to do better next time. 😁
This was absolutely adorable!
I'll be honest, I'm a flashlight fan at heart, but you're really tempting me to ship these two....
Or maybe...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/11/9/1582175__safe_artist-colon-hiccupsthenoodle_fizzlepop+berrytwist_flash+sentry_royal+guard_tempest+shadow_twilight+sparkle_my+little+pony-colon-+the+mov.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/3/9/1675237__safe_artist-colon-alysiasentryyt_flash+sentry_tempest+shadow_twilight+sparkle_oc_my+little+pony-colon-+the+movie_spoiler-colon-my+little+pony+.png
Bwahahahahahaha....
8864111
Three ways are the answer to everything
8864124
All Twilight has to do is legalize polygamy!
8864111
Thank you! Glad you liked it. Nice pics by the way. 😁
I'm not a fan of Tempest, but I'm a huge fan of Flash. Not a bad one-shot, I'll give ya an upvote.
8864351
Thanks.
Hey Gravity I really like the fimfic but there is only 1 issue I have with it. And that's the curse words, don't you think you should change the rating of this fic from E to T? After all I can't imagine kids reading when there are words that aren't meant for them.
8864361
Hiya! Could you point out the curse words? I'd like to keep most of this story open to all ages. Thank you!
8864386
The curse words are, "Hell" and "Damn". You can change them both from " Hell" to " Heck" and "Damn" to "Darn".
8864391
Noted and edited. Thank you so much for pointing it out. 😊
8864433
Your welcome. Oh and before I forget you deserve a like, favorite and a follow from me for making a great fic, taking feedback and correcting your own mistakes. You definitely earned my support and respect.
A little sweet story this was. Well done.
A very sweet story.
Could have done without Grubber but otherwise I loved it. Nice to see some of Fizzle’s sensitive side.
D'awww...
This was a pleasant read, although one thing to point out.
Feels like you're trying for too many emotions here, like, realistically, getting all of those at one go is a bit much, especially with how "judgmental" and "grateful" are very opposite of one another.
I'll keep in mind not to make mistakes like that next time. Thank you! 😄
8864629
Thanks for reading! I just thought I'd put Grubber in at the end just because it seems like Fizzle and Grubber could potentially be a good comedic duo. Maybe I'll even attempt a comedic one-shot with those two.
I liked this. I think it was a little too short and that it lacked substance, though. Other than that, I enjoyed it and love seeing Tempest's softer, more vulnerable side.
Good, yet I feel it could have been much better if it wasn't so short (same amount of content, just spread out more).
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
21:46_4/14/2018
What? You mean, a friendly interaction doesn't mean instant love? What kind of alternate universe is this!
Edit: Finished the fic, liked it!
Before I even read, this ship name shall be FlashBerry, which sounds like some sort of explosive.
8865367
I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
8865267
Thanks for reading! I'll try to write longer next time. 😆
Calling her "Lady." Now can't unhear Flash using Dante Sparda's voice.
8865840
I can't unhear Flash with Jake the Dog's voice.
I hate whoever that is already. No matter what you believe, if you believe tempest shouldn't have been able to win against the princesses or not, I always hate it if the guards or other characters suddenly act like "I could have beaten you while sleeping!".
That nice action won him some points again, as if he realized his mistake when he acted like a jerk and well...I guess Tempest wasn't even really trying to hurt him.
I would say, that now I now the reason why I hated him
, but to be honest I kind of start to like it even if I hope they don't rush their potential romance. This would probably feel nice if it isn't fast paced in the end.
I guess I want you to write a sequel, I prefer stories above twenty chapters, but I wouldn't want them to take the next steps after the first date already, that is if you would want to write a romance story about them. i guess it could actually work to let them start as friends like you did here.
I'm now curious if you would write Tempest being shy if she should decite to dress and act more girly.
I mean it could be a wish she has, but actually being seen like that and everything could suddenly make her feel all insecure and maybe angry. I could even image Tempest getting angry (defense mechanism) and lashing out at flash. (I mean her screaming at him but I can't remember how it's written right, the translatins is suggesting I got the wrong word for it.
I image her to run away at some point or just going away and being seen crying by him, that would be when he sees her how hurt she really is because of everything, how she acted and how her life went so far.
8866304
Sad to say that there is very little chance of a sequel or continuation. I'm not very good at writing romance, most of what i write is based off or inspired from personal experiences and things I see when I'm out and about. Do keep hoping, I might just actually do it. Thank you so much for reading!
Another pretty good story!
Imma watch you!
8866859
Thank you!
Always nice to see my art used over here, keep up the good work c:
She needs to stop by and ask Rarity for makeover tips and "feminine wiles" lessons.
This is one pairing of characters I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, but also not in a romantic sense.
I think it comes from Flash being one of the guards who failed to protect Equestria from the Storm King, and Tenpest also failing her personal quest of regaining her horn and her place among ponykind, sort of a shared bond between the defeated. Maybe Tempest will be a recovering cynic, while Flash is at risk of becoming one. They’re also military ponies with vastly different experiences and skill (though Flash here seems a little *too* green to be a princess’ personal guard), which would be an interesting dynamic if you subscribe to the notion that Tempest would join the Royal Guard. This might be her way in for that scenario, since she might have someone to vouch for her inside the Royal Guard.
And, I loved the dynamic between the two, with more playful roughhousing and banter, but maybe a little more coming from Flash’s end would help. Might make sense being trained to de-escalate situations. Overall, can’t understate how much i enjoyed reading this story, and I really hope I won’t have to write another story for this pair myself.
I really joyed this story GDCM, I can see why some think it's rushed but your tempo did not bother me at all. It is a fine one-shot about tempest. Look forward to looking at your 3 other stories.
I've reviewed this here.
Short . But very sweet I enjoyed that read nice job !
9037259
Thank you. 😁
Finally got a chance to look at my recent stories to read. I'm glad I picked this one. This story, in a sense, a great gem. You create a little story that made a big impact regarding how the simplest gestures of good faith can make anyone become your newest friends. I'm also a fan of these characters *Expects someone to throw a rock at my head for Flash Sentry* so thank you so much for making this story. It was really well done.
This is sweet
This was a very cute story.
10043209
Thank you!
10043641
Anytime.