• Member Since 19th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Terry the human


A southern brony that loves to read and write. My oc Heat Wave and I are ready to explore this big huge site.

Comments ( 47 )

On the site's main page description

Two humans fined themselves in the middle of a war.

So they just pass each other tickets for war crimes or what? :rainbowlaugh:

9030771
No, these two are here in Equestria for a reason and they have something that is connecting them to the book's antagonist.

9030781

For two humans they fined themselves in the world of Equestria, however things aren't all happy and bright. The two humans find themselves in the war with Equestria and Mort.

Nothing changed :T

9030680
Plus I have changed up the short description. I hope that you think that this is better.

9031030
By the way the war with Mort last for 6 years (just to give you a idea of how long this story is).

So if anyone has any questions just ask me.

I still found problems with this story. Mostly spacing issues, but grammatical ones as well.

"Jubilee, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, thereisa chance that we won't come home.

It should read, "Jubilee, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, there is a chance that we won't come home.

Here's another.

It's that you’re myonlyfriends. I-if you d-died then...."

It's that you’re my only friends. I-if you d-died then...."

And this sentence just set me off in so many ways.

This made the Equestrian ponies mad, and left them wanting to go to war with Mort This all occurred within hours after the ship bombed Princesses Celestia, which then left them no choice, but to go into war. All of this led to over 4,000 pony that had signed up to join the guard in just four days.

It needs to read

This made the Equestrian ponies mad, and left them wanting to go to war with Mort. This all occurred within hours after the ship was bombed, and although Princesses Celestia tried to reach out to Mort, all she received was a direct declaration of war, which then left them no choice but to go to war. All of this led to over 4,000 ponies signing up to join the guard in just four days.

There's also a number of other grammatical errors, but there were a lot of these. I mean, I CAN point them all out if you want, but it would take a lot of time and effort.

9031713
That's the problem though. While those were the MAIN problems I found, I found a number of other little errors as well. Most of these were grammatical, but there were also a few unnecessary spaces between a quotation mark and a word, commas where there didn't need to be any, and a few misspelled words. I could point them all out, but it would take a while.

9031725
Well I can replied to you in the morning, I'm having another proofreading in the morning. However your help is welcomed and I would appreciated it Scar.

9031735
I'll let whoever's proofreading it do their work first, and then I'll take a look at it again. And when the time comes for me to write my parts, you can be my proofreader.

9031740
Thank you, as for your parts you can write after the chapter before Ash's debut is uploaded ok?

9031743
I know. I was just saying that I can proofread for you, and then you can proofread for me. We switch back and forth, depending on who's writing the current chapter/section.

Hmm Intresting I got to say the human are getting used to the peaceful world of poniesx.

can i be in your story in thr future

9471036

I like how you're taking your time to have the humans learn more about how Equestria works. Even though it can be confusing with how they move the sun and the moon.

9471037
So just wondering, what do you think of Ash and Spitfire?

9471731
Thank you, I'm glad that ScarFox9700 did such a great job with that part.

hmmm interesting. now I wonder how involved the two will become in the military.

9479332
Well they are supporters of the military.

Who did the cover art btw? :P

9957240
That's what I'm saying: Who drew it? :/

"It's a medium-sized town that's in the Deam Territory. It's roughly about.......eh, 500 miles from the southernmost point in Equestria, I think." Night answered. "And Mort is about 400 miles outside of the town."

I bet they called the map from Dora the Explorer

You're welcome for the help Terry. It's the least I can do for all of the help that you've given me

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