For two humans they fined themselves in the world of Equestria, however things aren't all happy and bright. The two humans find themselves being apart of the war with Equestria and Mort.
For two humans they fined themselves in the world of Equestria, however things aren't all happy and bright. The two humans find themselves in the war with Equestria and Mort.
I still found problems with this story. Mostly spacing issues, but grammatical ones as well.
"Jubilee, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, thereisa chance that we won't come home.
It should read, "Jubilee, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, there is a chance that we won't come home.
Here's another.
It's that you’re myonlyfriends. I-if you d-died then...."
It's that you’re my only friends. I-if you d-died then...."
And this sentence just set me off in so many ways.
This made the Equestrian ponies mad, and left them wanting to go to war with Mort This all occurred within hours after the ship bombed Princesses Celestia, which then left them no choice, but to go into war. All of this led to over 4,000 pony that had signed up to join the guard in just four days.
It needs to read
This made the Equestrian ponies mad, and left them wanting to go to war with Mort. This all occurred within hours after the ship was bombed, and although Princesses Celestia tried to reach out to Mort, all she received was a direct declaration of war, which then left them no choice but to go to war. All of this led to over 4,000 ponies signing up to join the guard in just four days.
There's also a number of other grammatical errors, but there were a lot of these. I mean, I CAN point them all out if you want, but it would take a lot of time and effort.
9031713 That's the problem though. While those were the MAIN problems I found, I found a number of other little errors as well. Most of these were grammatical, but there were also a few unnecessary spaces between a quotation mark and a word, commas where there didn't need to be any, and a few misspelled words. I could point them all out, but it would take a while.
9031725 Well I can replied to you in the morning, I'm having another proofreading in the morning. However your help is welcomed and I would appreciated it Scar.
9031735 I'll let whoever's proofreading it do their work first, and then I'll take a look at it again. And when the time comes for me to write my parts, you can be my proofreader.
9031743 I know. I was just saying that I can proofread for you, and then you can proofread for me. We switch back and forth, depending on who's writing the current chapter/section.
9030156
Well look at it now bro.
On the site's main page description
So they just pass each other tickets for war crimes or what?
9030771
No, these two are here in Equestria for a reason and they have something that is connecting them to the book's antagonist.
9030781
Nothing changed :T
9030680
Plus I have changed up the short description. I hope that you think that this is better.
9031027
Now I see the change
Good job
9031030
By the way the war with Mort last for 6 years (just to give you a idea of how long this story is).
So if anyone has any questions just ask me.
I still found problems with this story. Mostly spacing issues, but grammatical ones as well.
It should read, "Jubilee, I'm not going to sugarcoat this, there is a chance that we won't come home.
Here's another.
It's that you’re my only friends. I-if you d-died then...."
And this sentence just set me off in so many ways.
It needs to read
This made the Equestrian ponies mad, and left them wanting to go to war with Mort. This all occurred within hours after the ship was bombed, and although Princesses Celestia tried to reach out to Mort, all she received was a direct declaration of war, which then left them no choice but to go to war. All of this led to over 4,000 ponies signing up to join the guard in just four days.
There's also a number of other grammatical errors, but there were a lot of these. I mean, I CAN point them all out if you want, but it would take a lot of time and effort.
9031695
Alright those three problems have been.
9031713
That's the problem though. While those were the MAIN problems I found, I found a number of other little errors as well. Most of these were grammatical, but there were also a few unnecessary spaces between a quotation mark and a word, commas where there didn't need to be any, and a few misspelled words. I could point them all out, but it would take a while.
9031725
Well I can replied to you in the morning, I'm having another proofreading in the morning. However your help is welcomed and I would appreciated it Scar.
9031735
I'll let whoever's proofreading it do their work first, and then I'll take a look at it again. And when the time comes for me to write my parts, you can be my proofreader.
9031740
Thank you, as for your parts you can write after the chapter before Ash's debut is uploaded ok?
9031743
I know. I was just saying that I can proofread for you, and then you can proofread for me. We switch back and forth, depending on who's writing the current chapter/section.
9031746
We can see when that happens.
Soooo is this dead or am I wrong
9193933
There is a updated soon