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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A little better on this chapter. Grammar is still a bit of an issue here and some spelling errors (instead of ponys it ponies, etc). Again I recommend slowing the pace and filling in a lot more detail from characters to location. Overall though a good story so far, if a little rough around the edges.
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Agreed. Also, yelling? That isn't a smart thing to do when being stealthy, even if you're about to go loud. Anyone with sense would have remained quiet and picked them off without the dogs finding them. The sound, being in a cave, wouldn't have given him away if he was hidden well enough.
I thought that he was gonna go on a fallout equestria..
Meh it's still a good story
Just a lil longer chapters plis
How the hell does he owe them anything?