A young pony tries to make it through life, but that can be tough when you can't see and you have a very uncontrollable temper. Maybe the Princess of Friendship can help them out.
Though the death tag is on, there's very little in the story. Also, it's rated Teen mostly because of the more mature plot and conflict, but other than that it's pretty chill.
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OK, will track this thing for now - some of my thoughts:
For monologue, you may want to use italics like so:
The advantage here is that you can easily mix action tags, dialog and monolog if necessary:
This:
seems kind of contradictory to me... While someone can be stressed but look calm, or can be calm but look stressed - I can’t imagine how anyone can look both calm and stressed at the same time…
Personally, I would suggest you shorten such lines:
to just:
The rest just seems redundant – Twilight already said that she is surprised, the reader doesn’t have to be told the same thing by the narrator
Of course, those are just my personal thoughts
This is very good.
Even though there are grammar mistakes. 
But it’s not easy being new to this, keep up the good work!
Maybe Carol is an evil changeling in disguise, who wants to change but is afraid to, and was warning the other ponies without suspicion.
OK, waiting to see how will Twilight handle the kid this time...