~*~
I know I say sorry too much, so I'm going to try to avoid it here. But I did want to mention something about myself and the way I speak and think. I got to understand your mind a little better, so I kind of feel like I owe you this much. A fair trade in a way, quid pro quo.
Sometimes when I speak and when I think, I have troubles keeping all my thoughts sorted inside my head. It feels like I just keep filling up and up and up, and then it all eventually spills over. And when it spills it drains out from me in waves until I feel used up and empty. My mother, when I was young, always told me I was too sensitive, that I had a tendency to overreact or get emotional about little things. Things that didn't matter to others mattered to me immensely, and sometimes it kind of made people uncomfortable. It was worse when I was younger, but it still happens sometimes.
Once, when it rained, she found me out in the grass crying hysterically. Apparently I had looked out the window and seen all the worms out of their holes, wiggling on the ground. I'd realized that they were dying in the water, drowning because they had no ability to swim to a surface or find a dry place to survive. For some reason, that had really gotten to me, impacted my child mind. It didn't seem fair to me, it didn't seem right that they should drown just because they were worms. So I'd gone out into the rain, crying and frantic, and had begun picking up worms, as many as I could find, so that they wouldn't die. When my mother asked me why I was doing that, why it mattered to me, I told her that helpless things shouldn't die without anyone caring.
She brought me a rain coat and let me keep doing it. She didn't have the heart to stop me.
I still don't know if I even cared that much about the worms themselves. I think maybe it was one of those cases of my thoughts spilling over. I saw them dying as unfair, unjust. The concept of them dying, more than their deaths themselves, made me so distressed, so panicky. Even though they were just worms, all my feelings about life and death just overflowed, and it left me in the rain, trying to play hero. I don't even remember what I did with the worms after that, or if I saved them. I just remembered I cried for them like I'd loved them all my life.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that if I seem a little off, or it seems like my thoughts can't all just stay in one place, it's not your fault. It's not because I'm actually losing my grip on myself or falling apart or anything like that. It might just be because I have so many thoughts and feelings that I'm full to bursting. And they leak out onto the page in ways I don't always expect or mean.
I don't want to scare you away. I don't want you to think poorly of me. I just want you to be happy. I want to entertain you.
You deserve to be happy.
Another secret link :)
9012247
Found it.
This is either “had,” or it’s another clue.
9012247
I'm using ctrl+A to find the tiny underlines.
9086157
I just highlight the first word of the story then press Tab.
Even though they were just worms, all my feelings about life and death just overflowed, and it left me in the rain, trying to play hero. I don't even remember what I did with the worms after that, or if I saved them. I just remembered I cried for them like I'd loved them all my life.
What fantastic way to build the psyche of your character. Wonderful description.
9012247
I'm not finding it.
Woah, okay, so Muse/book pony definitely killed some people in a blood ritual. This link seems to be related to the same event as the last one. What's going on is pretty obvious if you've read both links, but the speaker being Muse is a bit harder. So I'm going to go over what I noticed.
"It was a riddle, and I loved riddles. I had guessed it's meaning right away." Muse has already told us more than once that she likes riddles. The answer to one of her's was even blood.
"I felt my emotions spilling over into tears that streaked down my face." The wording here, especially the use of the term "spilling over" is very similar to how this chapter tells us Muse experiences emotion.
"This time, I could definitely feel them looking at me. They were so disappointed in me. I had let them down."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me."
This kind of thought process is very in character for her, too.
I'm realizing as I type this that it's not as much evidence as I first thought, maybe just two or three little things. Not nearly enough to prove anything for sure. I just have a feeling. There are a bunch of little similarities niggling at my brain. Food for thought, for certain.
Edit: Just remembered this passage:
I think that's more of a link than any of the other things.
9946877
Okay, I have nothing more than a fleeting hunch that maybe the blood needed to be alive still, so either freshly spilled or still INSIDE a living pony/creature to be used, or the original donor of the blood still needed to be alive, so not fully drained to the point of dying.
The only evidence I have is this:
The only part that I could have gotten wrong was the line that said I needed to get life force from the source to make it happen.
Just a hunch. We’ll see.
10322605
Perhaps they need a heart? It does say the source of life force, which could be considered the heart.
that worm parable is weirdly relatable. I imagine everyone has stories like that from their childhood
thanks for the kind words. :)