3. The Enemy
Chapter 3 – The Enemy
Rarity and Fluttershy were walking together through the forest. While they were going Rarity kept asking about the promised safe haven to Fluttershy... however almost all of her questions were more interested in the promises of treasure rather than salvation.
“Do you think there will be many gems in this refuge?” asked Rarity. Her imagination started to fly, showing her a beautiful city full of many buildings, each one decorated with all kinds of gems sparkling at the sun, just waiting to be found by somepony.
“I don’t think so, Rarity. The treasures the book promised weren't… things you can actually get in your hooves”, Fluttershy explained.
“Ah”, replied Rarity, feeling a bit disheartened. She asked then: “But what about silver? There should be lots of silver, he is Silver Light after all!” Rarity imagination started to go again, this time showing a city made of solid silver, with many jeweled crosses and other expensive things.
“Hum…” Fluttershy said a bit uncomfortable, trying to correct her friend: “I don’t think you are actually understanding what this is really about…”
“Of course I do darling!” Rarity reassured her. She continued: “…hey, you also said something about shining clothes. Do you think they are made of a magical fabric? Some kind of new texture?” she spoke as her mind went wild for a third time, imagining how much bits and fame she could get if she made a dress from such material.
“…sigh”, released Fluttershy. She looked up, looking at the sky through the few gaps that existed in the dense vegetation. She began to wonder if Rarity would ever get the message she was trying to share.
After talking for almost an hour without interruptions, Rarity questions finally stopped. “You know dear, I think I will wait to see by myself when we arrive there,” she replied, finally ending the issue. Fluttershy only nodded, tired of answering question after question... while most of her answers went ignored. The duo then proceeded through the woods in silence, taking the time to enjoy the silence of the Everfree Forest…
Sometime later, while the two mares were going through the way they heard a voice coming from the woods: “I wouldn't go through this path if I were you.”
“Who is there?” asked Rarity.
The duo looked around, trying to find where the voice came from. From the middle of the trees a stallion showed up. He was brown, having red eyes and a like flame mane. His head and most of his body were hidden by a wide brown cloak. His appearance was kind of terrifying, a strange creepy smile in his face.
“What are you two little mares doing here?” the stallion said, slowly shaking his head. He continued: “You two must be lost, otherwise I don’t see why you would be going through this way.”
Fluttershy was downright scared. While it was true that Fluttershy never felt comfortable near strangers, there was something in him that made her feel extra uneasy. It was like she could feel evil coming from his presence.
Fluttershy slowly moved besides Rarity, afraid. Rarity was also speechless: she had never seen a stallion with such color scheme before. She also felt like there was something wrong, but she couldn't exactly understand what it was.
Being naturally more sociable, Rarity gave one step forward, answering: “We are seeking a pony named Silver Light. It was said he had a sacred refuge, a place full of treasures. Is it near?”
“Ah, I get it! You two must be adventurers!” answered the stallion with a smirk. Staring at the two mares for a moment, he continued: “You are not the first ones to come after him. I saw many and many ponies trying to find his place. Do you want to know what happened to them?”
“What happened to them?” asked both Rarity and Fluttershy, speaking in unison.
“The smarter ones gave up along the way, returning to their homes. The others… they all had terrible, painful deaths. Their pain was so great that many begged for their lives to end, only to be denied until they couldn't take it anymore…” he answered, his words landing hard on the mares' ears. He then smiled, saying: “Doesn't this sound scary?”
“Err… Fluttershy. That does seem a bit dreadful… are you sure about it?" replied Rarity, as she started to give a few steps back.
Now it was Fluttershy turn to show courage. She quickly went in front of Rarity, answering: “You… You can’t scare us!”
“Ah, but you should be scared. Listen! Through the forest you will meet the Swamp of Oblivion. This swamp was devoured all the ponies who tried to pass through it”, he said, pointing towards the path Fluttershy was following. With a smile, he added: “They disappeared, not even memory of them remained. They were lost forever to the darkness.”
“Should you still insist, there are many creatures in this forest. Not like that dragon or manticore you tamed, Fluttershy”, the stallion continued, now pointing his hoof at Fluttershy. With another smile he added: “These creatures cannot be put in place with your stare. They will get you and rip you to tiny little bits. It will be pretty, pretty messy. And painful if I must add.”
“Without talking about the king of all the demons. Tell me white unicorn: did the yellow Pegasus there ever tell you about Decay?” he finished, now pointing at Rarity.
“Decay?” said Rarity confused. She tried to remember: she was sure that Fluttershy had said something about him… but sadly she hadn't paid attention.
Fluttershy closed her eyes, remembering what she had read about. She opened them and answered: “I read about him. Decay, the enemy of the light, also known as The Traitor. The book told me that he was a very powerful angel, but in his pride went against The Master. He was defeated and condemned to the abyss, a place where only darkness exists.”
“Yes. Decay guards the path to the sacred refuge from all those who try to seek it. And nopony never prevailed in a battle against him!” the stallion replied. His smile suddenly disappeared, his expression turning into a threatening one: “Listen to reason Fluttershy! Go back to your home: you have your cottage, your animals and your friends! You were pretty happy before reading this book… just forget about it and go home!”
Fluttershy stopped a bit, thinking about the stallion words. It was true... she did leave a lot of things back on her hometown. However… she left them to find something else. Something else who could save them and herself. Fluttershy looked at him and replied: “No… you are wrong. At first I couldn't notice it… but this book… The Holy Word was made me stronger. It has helped me grow… I will continue on this path! If I want to save the things I love… I have to first find Silver Light myself!”
“You will never leave this forest alive Fluttershy!” the stallion shouted, stomping his hoof hard at the ground. His face turned to one of pure anger, screaming: “You're not getting it! Doesn't the concept of death make you afraid?!”
“I’m not afraid!” Fluttershy only answered. It was then that a thought crossed through her mind. She gave the stallion a confused eye, asking: “Wait… you did say my name several times through this conversation. I never introduced myself… how do you know about it?”
The stallion froze a bit at the question. He then gave up a smile, which turned into a soft laughter: “Ha ha ha! You really are a clever pony! Oh well, I guess it’s time to end this farce.”.
The stallion then removed his cloak, showing a horn and a pair of wings. In his flank there wasn’t a cutie mark. Rarity and Fluttershy eyes grew wide, shouting in unison: “You are an alicorn!”
“I have looked after you for a good time. I don’t like losing followers, yellow Pegasus! I tried to save you…” said the alicorn, walking in a circle around the two mares. He suddenly stopped, before adding: “No matter. We will meet again.”
After saying those words, the alicorn charged magic through his horn, releasing it. He simply teleported himself, vanishing in a blink of red magic…
Rarity and Fluttershy could only look at each other, their mouths open in confusion. “What did just happen?” was the only thing Rarity could muster.
“I…” answered the yellow pegasus, confused. “I... am not sure.”
Fluttershy then felt something in her heart. She touched it... and then answered: “No… I think I know it. My heart warned me about his evil. He must have been one of the followers of Decay, The Traitor! Do you understand what this means, Rarity?”
“What does it mean?” Rarity was even more confused at this moment.
Her eyes suddenly got bigger. And with a smile, she jumped and shouted: “It means that everything I read is real!”
A second later, however, she noticed that didn't sound very well so she quickly amended: “Well, not that I didn't believe before… but there were so many times that my heart got in doubt. Now I see they were unfounded… that I was on the right path all along!”
“I wouldn't be that sure, darling. He sure seemed like a creepy fellow… but I wouldn't go as far as name him anything like a ‘follower of the darkness’. I mean, he didn't do anything after all,” replied Rarity clearly unbelieving. She added: “Besides, I don’t think this is a good reason to be happy. He did threaten to kill us darling.”
“Well, this is true…”, Fluttershy shrugged. “But I am not worried. Because if he is against us, then that means Silver Light is with us. He will protect us from his evil,” Fluttershy nodded.
“Sure, darling. Let’s ask the invisible stallion to protect us,” Rarity accidentally released with sarcasm. Fluttershy only looked at her with a shocked expression. Rarity then quickly added: “OH! Yes, the invisible stallion that is very real and is always protecting us. In mysterious ways, right Fluttershy?”
Before Fluttershy could answer, Rarity continued: “Ah don’t worry, let’s just keep going! We won’t find the sacred refuge just by standing here, doing small talk!”
Fluttershy sighed again. She was sure that Rarity would start believing after this incident, but it just didn't happen. Returning to their travel the yellow pegasus mind started to fly again: she had read that a follower of Silver Light would be tested many times. Was this the first test? She wasn’t sure…
She remembered what the stallion had said: ‘Swamp of Oblivion… deadly creatures… Decay guarding the path.’ She wondered if he really was lying about them. She wouldn't be surprised if the enemy of the light had put traps along the way. And even though she had just assured Rarity that Silver Light would be protecting them, Fluttershy started to wonder if they really could match the power of evil. If Decay, the strongest angel and the king of demons was really guarding the way, could they really get past him?
Fluttershy shocked these thoughts out from her head. She remembered the phrase: 'If The Master is for us, who can be against us?' If that was true then she shouldn't have fear of what was coming. She finally buried her personal worries, focusing her energy only on going through the forest accompanied by her friend…
Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Applejack were running through the path, trying to find Fluttershy. They were guiding themselves through the mark of hoof-steps, the ones that the yellow mare had left as she dashed. As they were rushing forward Twilight suddenly stopped, accidentally making Pinkie Pie crash in a nearby tree.
“Ouch! Twilly, you need to warn others before stopping!” shouted Pinkie Pie, putting her hoof on her nose.
“Oh, sorry Pinkie. Are you okay?” asked Twilight with a worried expression, quickly offering a hoof to get her up.
“Ah, sure! It was just a bit tiny hit,” answered Pinkie, gladly accepting the hoof.
“Why did ya stop?” asked Applejack, who was following from behind.
“Look…” said Twilight, pointing at the ground. At the ground there were a mark of leaves and broken sticks forming a figure similar to a Pegasus. “Do you know what this means?”
“Ah, I have an idea!” Pinkie Pie said while bouncing.
Before Pinkie Pie could answer Twilight replied, not wanting to give a chance to the pink mare to create one of her random histories: “Don’t bother. It looks like a pony crashed here. I think that means Rainbow Dash caught up with Fluttershy here, pushing her into the ground. That would explain why there is this mark.”
“Couldn't it really have been another thing?” said Pinkie, adding: “Like two bears having a wrestling contest or a…”
Twilight quickly interrupted: “No Pinkie! You can clearly see wings on the shape… and also a bear would leave a much bigger spot!”
“And also… look!” shouted Twilight, noticing something else: “There are hoof prints in this way! They must have gone through there!”
“Hmm… I see. You are really good at this Twilight!” Pinkie Pie complimented her, bouncing happily.
“I really enjoy detective novels,” Twilight nodded, making a detective pose. She always took pride on her deductive ability. “Anyway… let’s get going! I am sure we will quickly catch up with them!”
“Let’s!” said Applejack, who had stood silently watching the two mares conversation.
Twilight looked at the path, preparing to start running. As she started to give her first steps she noticed that Pinkie wasn't following her. Twilight looked back, only to see Pinkie Pie waving her hoof in a greeting way towards the woods.
“Uh… Pinkie Pie? To whom are you shaking your hoof?” asked Twilight, trying to see who she was greeting. Twilight eyes kept scanning the place but they couldn't see anything other than trees and bushes.
“Ah! I was greeting that menacing looking alicorn that was staring at us., answered Pinkie Pie, smiling. “Over there. Can’t you see him?”
“Where?” Twilight Sparkle looked where Pinkie was staring, but no matter how hard she looked she couldn't see anything. “Pinkie you must be mistaken. There is nothing there.”
“Ah ya sure, Pinkie?” Applejack also replied, making an effort to see. “I can’t see anything.”
“But girls… can’t you really see him?” Pinkie looked at them confused. She then turned her head, only to give a shocked expression. “Oh my, look Twilight!”
“What did you saw, Pinkie?!” shouted Twilight.
“Strange… he just disappeared!” Pinkie Pie said, her mouth open in confusion. “Isn't this weird, girls?”
Twilight and Applejack stood still for a minute, trying to understand what did just happen. Twilight suddenly face hoofed herself: she remembered that the mare she was talking with was Pinkie Pie. “Well… this sure was a loss of time. No matter, let’s go girls!” Twilight turned her eyes back on the track of hoof steps, following them.
Applejack didn't say anything, starting to follow Twilight again. While she knew that Pinkie Pie had a mysterious power, which they had nicknamed ‘Pinkie sense’, she also knew how fertile her imagination could be. The pink mare was probably fantasying again.
“Okie Dokie. Bye Mr. Alicorn, wherever you are!” shouted Pinkie Pie, waving her hoof towards nothing. She then started running alongside Applejack and Twilight, with destination towards the depths of the forest…
As the three mares left the area, a sudden red blink appeared. The same alicorn from before showed up from nothing: he was sitting still, without his cloak this time. He used his hoof to touch his head, doing a thinking pose. He said: “Strange… how did the pink mare manage to feel my presence? Hmm… this may become a problem.”
Upon finishing those words the alicorn vanished again, teleporting himself to an unknown place…
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Hello.
Besides uploading this chapter, I also rewrote chapter 1. If you have time, please read it and tell me if it got better.
Yeah, no. As was said earlier, Fluttershy would most certainly NOT be a bible lover. I mean, HELLO! Animal sacrifice anyone?
That and from what I remember, Gods aren't usually the kindest of things. I mean it's not like drowning the planet or making some woman who looked behind her get killed is unkind, right?
997663
The big difference between the Biblical God and every other god was He warned of those things beforehand. Each death was foreshadowed. Every last death. Those who died never heeded the warning.
I can see 'Shy seeing that, personally.
997962 Animal sacrifice.
998342
I understand Fluttershy to be a mare that likes promises being kept? Yes, it's a cruel thing, but that was the covenant, the promise, made. This meant more than just animals dying, though. In some cases, it was the only thing, the last thing, one had to give.
Of course, I'm stretching the "between-the-lines" bit, supposing a lot, and assuming Fluttershy's reading as she goes, but hey. If she prays for wisdom, then wisdom will be granted. Her search for the truth is the whole point of the story anyway.
998381 Did you mistake Fluttershy with Pinkie? It's Pinkie who likes her 'Pinkie promises' being kept. Fluttershy is the embodiment of Kindness, I cannot see her being a bible lover, that book is certainly not the embodiment of kindness.
998467
Promise-keeping is not segregatable, nor is it divisible between people or ponies. For a society to continue on as-is, promises must be kept by all parties within that society. Friends can only remain friends when promises are kept. By that extension, Fluttershy likes promises being kept, and will endeavour to keep them to the best of her ability. As the element of Kindness, she has not only a right, but an obligation to keep her promises. To do any less would be unkind.
I had to get this down. It wouldn't let me sleep.
997442
The story is good as an outline. but only as a sequel to a story about Fluttershy's conversion or curiosity. 998467 has led me to see that Fluttershy would need some guidance to walk through the Bible to a point where she could take this journey on her own. I now no longer believe she could oversee the sacrifices ordered by God without some kind of careful guidance, even if she were not naive to the ways of life. To drop the Bible into Equestria without any guidance or help would result in the book pretty much becoming a paperweight or some element of fictional writing. This is why God doesn't just rain Bibles on the earth - He understands we require other humans to believe, other people to explain the words of the book and the ideologies behind them to others. The same would apply to ponies.
I see now that this process is beyond heavily rushed.
She would need to be brought to an understanding first by somepony who knows and exemplifies through his or her own life the principles set forth in the Book (it doesn't happen very well any other way), then left to consider her beliefs before she could pray to receive Christ, and finally begin this journey. Sometimes that can take months or even years for the individual.
I would suggest going back and using my incredibly-simplified bolded outline to improve your story to better levels. This would make the journey a lot more realistic and enjoyable. Make it stretch and take your time - a solid story is like fine wine. You have to let it age just right to draw the flavour you want out of it.
I'm still keeping this on my Favourites list - it has the potential to grow into something spectacular, but it still needs to be slowed down.
1002398
Hum. That's true.
I didn't expend much time on the conversion because, well, the movie already starts with Christian believing. But it seems this is what people more want to see, so what can I do?
But still, that would be long. Very long. It would probably need a story only talking about this subject. And also, there are some parts of the Bible (named Holy Word in the fanfiction) that would need changing, because... well they were made for humans, not ponies.
To tell the truth, I already had showed my wish in ponyfying the Bible, making a new religion with the same core beliefs. One that would apply to ponies... but every on and then I strumble upon a writer block. Anyway, back on point: I think that yes, I will make one... something like Fluttershy Conversion and then I will add to the Christian group, so everyone can see. I will start working on it after I finish some other projects.
Thanks for the feedback!
1002398
Hmm... this gave me a great idea!
When I start making the prequel, instead of just publishing it, I can send it for you to have a look. You could help me a lot by being my editor. What do you think?
1002108
This ended at 'animal sacrifice.' nothing that you can say will convince me that Fluttershy would be a bible lover. She couldn't hurt a fly, end of story. I don't even want to have to bring up what others before me did, namely genocide.
1374269
Hmm... That is true.
You know, this story has been in hold for some time. I plan to make some kind of prequel before continuing it again. 
As for the grammar, I am also much better now than I was before. I will probably rewrite the chapters after the prequel is made.
This sure is a wonderful way of thinking.
If you got interested, I suggest you watching "Pilgrim Journey: Path to Heaven". This is the movie I am crossing with My Little Pony. You may enjoy it! 
991688
This is a great book! Why is everyone hatin' on it? The only problem is that this isn't a crossover. A crossover is when the MLP universe is intertwined with another universe entirely. For example, Fallout: Equestria is a great example of a crossover.
1417629
That is true. I loved the book and the movies.
Hmm... maybe so.
So... this would be more like a rewrite on your op?
1417887 I really, really liked this!
1615316
Well, thanks for commenting. It means a lot to me.
Love what you're doing here. I hope you post more chapters.
And I take it that in ch. 3 RD plays the role of Obstinance and Rarity is supposed to be Pliable.
2235463
Thank you for the kind review. And yes, I am thinking about something like this.
2235596
You're welcome. By the way, what roles will the rest of the Mane 6 play in the story, in terms of which character from Pilgrims Progress they'll likely represent? And also where's AJ?
1003806
1003679
Another thought occurred to me. A question, if you will.
Animal sacrifice. Would the ponies have had something similar in their own past, and would Fluttershy keep herself wilfully ignorant of it?
I guess that depends on head canon right now.
Oh, and I'd be happy to, Saint Whisper!
2430192
Thank you a lot for taking it, even through it has been some since I last updated it.
As for animal sacrifice, Fluttershy actually isn't that oblivious of fighting and death as show in the comics: here. She has also shows feeding worms to birds for example, so she has some kind of knowledge about death. Of course she would be against any kind of animal abuse, but most sacrifices done in the Bible were actually eaten instead of just burned. Sacrifices were quick, just like when killing livestock for food.
Still, at least on my view, since ponies are herbivores they would probably replace the animal sacrifice for offerings of food, such as unleavened bread for example, or make offerings through works.
2430501
That's what I was wondering. Animals were the chief currency of the age, so giving an animal meant giving your livelihood. It would be the equivalent to sacrificing a car or a week's work or heck a house in modern times. I guess bits, a house, a carriage, Celestia giving up her throne, or Fluttershy giving up her relationship with Angel (animal sacrifice by separation) would be equal.
Sorry for being so ignorant, but why does this have so many dislikes?
2793155
Well, the older comments shows the flame war it caused.
I really do like this I hope you continue with it.
2793434 Curious have you stopped writing it or is it just on hiatus?
2964846
Hello. First let me thank you for your comments. They mean a lot for me.
As for the history, it's on hiatus. I have decided to stop it until I fulfilled a spiritual promise. After it's done I will continue it.
2964913 I wish you luck then. God be with you.
2965075
Thank you. You too.
I like this story, and I don't see why it's disliked. Some people who probably were not Christians probably did that. But anyway I like this story.
3186285 Maybe its because they are the loudest.
3222825 An idiot or two got into a flame war in the comments causing the majority of shown comments to be flame. That in turn causes dislikes.
Or at least that is my guess.
1002398
Meh!
Warren's a typical maltheist douchebag who got his degree in comparative theology from 4chan. Not unlike all the other maltheists.
Meep.
It was more than a year since I last updated this fanfic. But strangely, I finally feel like this is the time to do so. I guess the flame was been kindled again. ^^
For those who are following, thank you so much for your support. For newcomers, as you guys read this is a crossover with Pilgrim Quest, a famous Christian book and movie. I hope you guys enjoy it.
Keep safe everyone, and God bless!
5774432 I do hope you'll continue this fic further!
God Bless!
5774432
It was really good to see a fellow Christian write something with such powerful Biblical themes using ponies.
I'm pretty sad that you stopped writing it, because this story has a lot of potential. However, I can understand why, in the face of all these flames and you probably having IRL things to deal with. If you ever were to start it up again, I would be overjoyed.
I hope you don't get discouraged by the negativity, but rather that you stay strong in the faith.
Grace and Peace,
~DarknutLord
Come on, when are you going to write the next chapter?
This must be finished. Slight grammar here n there, but all around, pretty good.
I don't know if you'll ever see this, seeing as you have not been active since 2017...
...But, in the chance that you will see this, I just wanted to come to say that I really love this fanfiction. I got hooked right on the first Chapter. There are some grammatical errors here and there, but that doesn't matter to me too much. English can be a hard language at times.
I loved the characterization of the characters. Seeing Fluttershy start to go on this Faith based journey is inspiring to me at least. Of all the characters it being the shy pony taking courage and taking a practical Leap of Faith is just... Wow. Heck, I find Fluttershy to personally be the most relatable out of all of the Mane 6, at least for me, in the show.
I've never watched the movie you're cross-overing, although, it may inspire me to actually watch it, haha! (Edit 8/23/23: Or well the story, but I am going to definitely start reading it eventually!)
If you do ever continue this, just know that it could be inspiring to those of us who like MLP and are also Christians! /)