When Tod sacrificed himself to save his best friend during a mountain climbing expedition he expecting to wake up in hell, or in oblivion. But he instead finds himself in a magical world with tiny horses that barely go past his knees. Will he ever come to terms with his loss and move on with his new life? Or will he sink into his own depression. (This is my first story so I ask for some mild criticism so I can right better stories is the future)
ps - Know that I know this isn't that great a story compared to others so sorry if you don't like it
Chapters (2)
well i'm off on a sad start
8646733
Funnily enough I wanted to write a more comedic story but that idea kinda went out the window
interesting story so far
???Huh??? not even 3 chapters in and it all ready haves a foot-hold for it... =P XD
Just goes to show how good it is so far. Could be better. Any story could be.
Spelling errors here and there.
The Pacing's full throttle. to what seems like all the time.
and the "Narrator" should NEVER cuss... less the Narrator just so happens to be the Character that will cuss. =P
Only 3 things I found so far. =) "I have faults like that... Damn it. -_-... =P
I am a tiny TINY bit Biest and a great Deal Jealous at this... =/ But F*** it. That's all on Me. XD... This is some good smelling **** here. =P
"Keep this coming, will Ya?" =)
8647869
lol appreciate it mate
A first story? Let's take a look.
It's a little weird to use underline and bold in the text. Most people use italics.
There are lots of small spelling and punctuation errors. You might be better off writing this in a program with spellcheck and then pasting it into the chapter.
You may want to fix right/write in the story description.
It's hardly the worst first story I've ever seen, though. Keep writing, you'll get better with practice!