Ignore this comment.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

I'm liking this. Keep going!

keep up the good work!

8688654
I see your Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ and i raise you one AYAYA

8690651
I approve of this

What is this a crossover of?

I was going for the next chapter but relised I jest read the only chapter there is of yet plz make more this is good

8690708 oops, wrong tag. Sorry about that.
Though if I would have to choose, it would be Eve: Online

I found a great song for this story.

8690775
Yes, this fits with what I have in mind. Good job my friend.

We, Humans of the Sol System, have the technology to have whatever eye-color we want; even pupil and sclera,

Five? I'm 23 years old! And I have three-hundred years before I start aging again! And if I wanted too, I could go through a medical procedure that would extend my life another three-hundred years!

I'm done. Get me off this planet. I want my Tentacle VR back.

What!!! I want some of that!
Also, wouldn't they prefer AR (augmented reality) instead?

This reads like fetish fuel than a story about a soldier in yhauverse. but ill keep an eye on it.

Yes. +1

Really good story so far, keep up the impressive work!

OMG ANOTHER YOUR HUMAN AND YOU STORY!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR MORE UPDATES KEEP IT UP!!!

Can’t wait for more!!

8690941
The difference between AR and VR is quite simple. *Ahem.*

VR can directly affect your brain chemistry, causing more extreme and powerful orgasms. (Just make your body in the real world is prepared for the mess.) Not only that but its a more effective tool for training and teaching soldiers or civilians for anything.

While in AR, it is far more limited to physical contact and semi-perfect brain connectivity. (Unless you have machines, androids or robots to enhance the experience. That and people can hack AR far more easily, causing more deaths than VR according to criminal statistics survey that was done by the MBIA.)

Though, there are some setups that allow PAVR, (Perfectly Augmented Virtual Reality), Which which melds AR and VR together to create an experience like no other, however. Its popularity in the mainstream isn't lacking due to the "Body Snatchers Incident" which the notorious hacker named: System. Took control of all people with PAVR installed into their nervous system, and used them as slaves for his own gain.

Oak Vale, huh?

You played Fable, maybe?

8692019
The Hero of Will commends your vigilance.

Gone fore a while and comes back with good content as usual, love it

8692027
For some reason I want to light Oak Vale on fire...

...just a little at least

huh, a new YHaY story. Haven't seen one of those in awhile. Haven't seen the original story update in awhile either too.

First off, I love the premise. I dunno why, but I feel as if I've read some related stories here... Weird.

Your choice of using stream of consciousness while also narrating is a little strange to be honest.

Not bad. I'll definitely want to see updates for this.
-------------

suffice to say; a cute,

Semicolon should be a comma

time—Saved my ass

saved (no capital)

but ever since science has proven that the laws of physics can be fucked over with Quantum Energy.

and judging from my angle.

These sentences are incomplete

where I'm sitting. I like

citizen of the Mars. Being taken

weren't looking. I swiped the

Use a comma instead of a period. Reverse the capitalization when required.

with a little plum to grab

plump(???) I dunno, I could be completely wrong here

moms and my dads), but I had my moms dark violet eyes

mom's and my dad's...mom's

Playing dead, was something I hated

Delete comma

large breasts and so perfectly formed as well, however.

That "however" is unnecessary and actually a bit detrimental.

8692478
Fixed most of them, but the semi-colon one is a little weird. It's wrong in the normal sense but in the addition or extension of a grammatically complex sentence structure. It's perfectly acceptable. Then again, it could be different here in Canada. I'm not too sure.

8692478
Stream of Consciousness will be answered next chapter. In addition, pm me the mistakes that I make, it's annoying to read them in the comment section to be honest.

8692558
Alright, no problem. I'mma look up the semicolon one, it would be so cool if it were true. I just love learning trivia stuff like that.

8692526
Ok, real quick

Cracking an eye open, I saw who was dragging me, and suffice to say; a cute, dark-grey, mini-stallion was not what I was expecting.

Personally, I'd say something like:
...I saw who was dragging me; suffice to say, a cute...

But I'mma definitely start Googling now...

8692617
Yours sounds better.

8691852
...
Cool story bro.

Even the information why the operation was called what it was.

Psh. Shiney told me it was because Operation: Conjoined Dominions was too much of a mouthful, and Cadey had a bit too much of the bubbly since they were celebrating the coming liberation of the Crystal Empire...That explains the silly monkey joke!! You were there?!

As to the story...well, you kinda lost points when you had the character thinking to herself, then, in her thoughts, break the fourth wall and address the readers. Noooo!

And apparently Lt. Duskfeather is a hypocrite, since that comment about tentacle vr right after complaining about human-fetishing pervy ponies does not seem to scan as sarcasm.

8693147
She thinks to herself for a reason. The scar around her throat was erased after surgery.

>and a dildo

Heh.... alright, I'll bite.

How did they not notice she was holding a dagger?

8693865
It was dark?

Since Phobos is
- a tiny rock of 11km
- far too close to Mars
- very irregularly shaped
- and almost breaking apart already
and since a 70kg person would weigh 2 grams on there
I kinda find it hard to believe that humans built anything on there.
Something just tells me that wouldn't work.

I like the story tho, well done 👌🏻