He Meets a Special Mare. (AB 975)
AB 996
"Oh! How did you two first meet?"
"Ah, I think that story will have to wait."
"Awww, but why?"
"Because your sister is going to be home soon, and she'd hate to miss it."
As if on cue, the pair heard the door to their apartments opening and Tourmaline calling out, "I'm home!" Shady grinned excitedly at her father before rushing off with beating wings to hurry Tourmaline along so storytime could continue. Soon enough, the trio were back in Forgath's study - two foals on a stout couch, Forgath in his chair.
"So, let me tell you about how I met your mother..."
AB 975
It was a crisp summer morning and Tranquil Stand was enjoying every moment of it. The sprawling city of Ironforge around her was flush with life and cheer; ponies of all stripes - even a few zebras - milled about the chilly streets or visited one of the many "hot spots" where the temperature was more tolerable for their southern kin. The most popular would always be the central plaza with its many shops and wide open spaces (surrounding the everburning Pillar), but smaller courtyards and even parks and pools had cropped up over the years, and they saw ever-growing popularity in the summers - cultural osmosis from Equestria, no doubt. Not that that was a bad thing; if nothing else, it made for amusing tourist reactions. She smirked to herself as she remembered the first time she'd seen an Equestrian getting a look at what temperature range the average Ironforger considered "bathing suit weather".
Her path took her to the plaza first, and she stopped to buy herself a pasty of some sort - vegetables and mushrooms spiced and cooked inside a layer of dough folded into a half-circle - which she proceeded to munch on her way up Mane Street The Path of Despair.
"Dad, only you call it that. It's Mane Street."
"The Path of Despair is its official name, and everyone knows that."
"How do you know about what she was eating anyway? You weren't there."
"Wait and see, wait and see. Ahem."
Tranquil Stand strode along in her new armor, the armor of the tower guard. Her chest, barrel, hips, and forelegs were clad in black plate, her blond mane was hidden away beneath an open-fronted black helmet, and the steady tap of her metal shoes against the stones of the Path rang out with pride. This was the first day of her first posting; she had spent her whole life looking forward to this moment.
First her schooling and her magic training, then her enrollment and specialized spellbreaking courses; all of it was so she could become part of the elite Tower Guard, the most trusted guardians, Forgath Ironblood's Right Hoof Hand-
"Hoof!"
"Hand!"
"Hoof!"
"Hand!"
"Okay, that's enough, you two."
- Forgath's Champions, who stood ready to deal with any threat to Ironforge. Not just Guard or Watch but those serving directly under Forgath, securing the tower and handling missions only the best could handle! And she was now one of them! The thought made her so giddy that she had begun to prance in place; it was only the chuckles of an older mare passing by that brought her back to reality. With a bit of a flush to her cheeks and a quicker pace, she resumed her march to the tower, scarfing the last of her food on the way.
The Tower itself looming before her did nothing to curb her excitement; despite being an enormous monument of dark stone and iron it almost felt like coming home, like she'd finally gotten to where she belonged. She nodded to the set of four guards posted at the entrance, and after a quick verification was accompanied inside by one of them - a red-maned thestral who introduced himself as Eternal Reward.
In short order, she was brought into the wide chamber that served as Forgath's throne room, and there the man himself was waiting. Eternal Reward took up a respectful post at the inside of the doors opposite another guard; the new recruit was allowed to approach on her own. Just a touch of anxiety joined Tranquil's excitement, seeing the dark-armored form of her new boss - new boss! - up close was enough to curb the urge to prance and help her maintain outward tranquility. She snapped to attention beside his large table, hooves clicking together. "Tranquil Stand, reporting for duty."
Forgath turned from the papers upon the great round table to regard her, facing her as he stood. His crimson gaze moved briefly over her form, taking in the sight of his most recently elevated minion. "Tower Guard Tranquil Stand. You have passed all the trials set before you, and so now stand before me in my service."
"Yes, Lord!"
His armored head tilted slightly to one side. "Did you enjoy your breakfast?"
"Pardon, Lord?" Her own head tilted slightly in turn.
Forgath lifted a hand towards his face and made a brushing motion towards the cheek of his helmet. It took Tranquil a moment to catch on, before her eyes widened and a hoof lifted to rapidly brush away the crumbs lingering in the fur around her lips.
"Oh no!" Shady's eyes widened, hooves rising to her mouth in sympathy.
"Oh yes. First day on the job, and I was able to tell both what she had and where she got it. There was a tiny bit of cave carrot just to the left-"
"And you instantly fell for her due to her good taste in pasties?" Tourmaline perked an eyebrow with a little smirk.
"Heh, no. That...would take some time yet. She was still so young then, and I am...less young. Let me finish."
Forgath waited quietly, smiling behind his helm as she frantically tidied up, snapping back to attention afterward. "A-apologies, Lord!"
"Accepted, so long as you pay closer attention to your grooming in the future. The Tower Guard mustn't be seen as undisciplined."
"Of course, Lord!"
Forgath nodded. "Good. Then you are fit and able to begin your duties?"
"Yes, Lord!"
"Excellent. Your first task will begin immediately."
"How may I serve?"
Forgath returned to his seat. "We have an infestation. You will clean it out."
Tranquil blinked, but kept her calm "...Excuse me, Lord?"
"It will be no easy task; it never is. The vermin slipped inside at some point and has been skulking about. Finding them will not be a problem, but I believe the removal will be challenging even for a mare of your capabilities." He took up his pen again, and got back to his paperwork.
Tranquil took a deep breath, and tilted her head slightly. "Sir, is this not something we should call an exterminator for?"
"I tried; they said they couldn't help. Thus, it falls to the guard."
"Alright...may I have more information, my Lord?"
"Certainly. He's right over there, disguised as a guard." Forgath flippantly waved towards the pair at the main door.
Tranquil turned her attention to the door just in time to see the second guard fling his helmet at Eternal Reward (who caught it) and somehow doff the rest of his armor in one sweep of a hoof. As it clattered into a pile, it revealed a canary-yellow pony with a brilliant blue mane wearing a red-and-white embroidered doublet, an enormous lace collar, and pair of puffy purple breeches. He stood up upon two hooves, one forehoof raised outstretched and pointed at the Dark Lord, the other curled back and over his head in the style of Prench fencers.
"Ooh, a hero!"
"Ssh!"
As loud as the pony's fashion sense was, it was not as loud as his voice. Still posing, he vociferated, "Vile fiend! Evil tyrant! How did you know it was me, the great CUNNING RUSE‽"
Forgath dipped his pen back into the inkwell, his eyes never leaving the present bit of paperwork - a report on lumber shipments from the south. "I do not have a tower guard that is yellow."
"You don't‽ Curses! You may have seen through my plan, but your tyranny will not last! The might of my rapier will be your doom!"
"You forgot it in the supply closet where you obtained the spare guard armor."
"I...did‽"
"You did. Your hoof is empty."
Cunning Ruse took a moment to consider his empty, outstretched forehoof. So did the guards in the room.
"Hmm. All-on's Eye!" Shouting thus, he burst back through the door and began to gallop off down the hallway.
Tranquil stared, transfixed by...whatever that was, before Forgath cleared his throat.
"Perhaps you should go after him?"
Tranquil whinnied in distress, ran for the door, paused to spin and salute again, then exited and gave chase, shouting after him, "Stop! You, with the ruffles, stop! And it's pronounced allons-y!"
Forgath allowed himself a chuckle as the hooves retreated out of earshot.
Gently closing the door, Eternal Reward made his way to the table. "Is that really wise, my lord? Setting the rookie against a hero?"
"Oh, it's not just wise, it's ideal. He won't hurt anyone; he's far too absurdist for that. He will, however, prove all but impossible to catch. If she is very lucky, she will corner him higher up the Tower and he will defenestrate himself."
"He doesn't have wings, my Lord."
"Of course not; he'll land in a conveniently-placed mushroom cart or some other nonsense; heroes don't die when thrown off a tower, even if they're the ones doing the throwing."
"Hm. I suppose that follows, but something seems wrong about that."
"Indeed. Will that be all, Eternal Reward?"
The guard shook his head. "Almost. Why did you just let him stand there, my Lord?"
"Because I knew if I did, he would willingly stand and watch me do paperwork until he sensed an opening. I never gave him one; he stood there for four hours. He wasn't even close enough to read anything."
Eternal Reward let out a disdainful snort. "So he learned nothing and you punished him with boredom?"
"That is correct. And that is the second reason why it is good that our new recruit is chasing him around."
"Lord?"
"They both needed the excitement. Let them have their fun; he will escape, she will learn not to underestimate heroes, and in the meantime a guard is moving his magic rapier somewhere else for safe-keeping. I had a runner take a letter to that effect two hours ago."
"Safe-keeping, Lord?"
"Indeed. The Dungeon of Frost and Spiders was getting a little overrun, so the guard has been instructed to toss it down one of the clefts that leads there. Having a band of heroes run through it should clear things up; if he goes soon there will even be time to gather a batch of ice spider eggs for the mage college." Forgath set aside his pen, waving a hand briefly over his bit of paper to dry the ink.
"And if he delays?"
"They'll have hatched."
"Hm. Amusing."
"Quite."
"One last question, Lord?"
"Certainly."
"Are you sure she won't fall for his roguish charms?"
"Certain."
"Twenty silver." A small smirk stretched Eternal’s lips.
Forgath chuckled. "Done; I believe you overestimate him."
"We shall see."
"Did he? Overestimate the hero, I mean?"
"He did. Eternal Reward was a good sport and paid the next day. Your mother did not like that hero.
"Oh, oh, did he make stupid mistakes and get himself killed? Or maybe a fate worse than death?"
"No, I would not refer to his spouse that way. She was the best thing that ever happened to him."
"...What?"
"He got married a few years later, and his wife made him quit being a hero. They have a son; he's about your sister's age."
"He is? Tourmaline, do you know him?"
"I dunno. What's his colt's name, Dad?"
"Cunning Flan - after his mother, Caramel Flan. He takes after her."
"Oh! Yeah, I know Flan! We have math together."
Forgath nodded. "To end the story, Tranquil Stand did not corner him, but he did manage to defenestrate himself. She returned both embarrassed and exhausted by the encounter, and resolved to best him the next time. And that, my children, is how I met your mother."
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That means: Re-binge!
Ah, Forgath displays his expertise in the subtle art of hero-wrangling. Most adroit.
I love this story. The villain manages to be self-aware in a very particular way. he knows the tropes, but doesn't react to them like we would. He just anticipates plot armor stupidity and works around it. Love this, plz don't leave it in the street for a couple years like last time :)
11133503
It appears I been beaten to the punchline.
Technically it can be done in less than a minute.
11133545
He is a good Villain. I feel like he could easily pull off a Xanatos Gambit, and it would be perfectly in-character.
Love this story!
When a good/favourite reading books update.
https://youtu.be/P3ALwKeSEYs
Boredom is easily a heroes greatest weakness. Either that or a dramatic backstab from a trusted friend.
I think another story started of like that... and it was several seasons long
How efficient
Now this is extremely poggers champus.
That was surprising evil, just messing with the hero and tricking him into doing dirty work.
Evil, cunning, powerful, fiscally responsible, and community-minded?
I hope he decides to run for Dark Lord again this go.
I've been awaiting an update for some time. But I had to reread the previous chapters to get reacquainted with the story!
Yesss! Our favorite wholesome dark lord is back <3
11133621
tf is that profile pic?
11133857
I miss Gargoyles QuQ
Cunning Flan? So does he just secretly give you flan???
11135204
Thank you!
11133618
I haven't seen that clip, but it was immensely amusing. It also goes to show again that Barney was incredibly intelligent, considering he kept time will talking.
Glorious to see this return.
So did Sunset Shimmer head north rather than off-world in this AU?
11135223
Who else but a hero, with a daring and cunning flan, will save the Evil Overlord when those despicable doctors put him on a royal dietary plan!
11135555
I'll give extra points for the rhyme
11135573
.......
I didn't even notice that, until you pointed it out.
Nice. And humorous.
Immensely entertaining holy shit I haven't had a good laugh like this in a while
Defenestrate is one of my favourite words. Especially seeing it used like that.
I absolutely adore lord forgath, he has such a way with words
11133545
I'm a little surprised that at some point in the previous four hours, he didn't arrange for any conveniently placed wagons around the base of the tower to be replaced with ones that look like piles of mattresses but actually collapse into traps. But then again, he was rather planning on having Cunning Ruse escape and go after his rapier... assuming his new guard didn't turn out to be extraordinarily talented or lucky, of course.
Oh wow, I'd completely missed the fact this story had updated. Glad to have a couple new chapters!
Another day, another run through of this story. So very good - cannot wait for the next instalment.
This is really interesting, please update a few more chapters.
I have reached the end! NOOOOOOOOoooooooo!
11271993
If you can milk an almond . . .
such a ride here
Ok, this is absolutely adorable. Hero's are just a natural part of the ecosystem!
great chapter. gotta love you stomping on the readers ships. but whos to say that forgath did not have multiple wives?
When do you think there will be a new chapter.
What about the author?
I still hope for updates
Haven't put this in my "dead fics" shelf atleast
Sad.