It starts.

Hold onto your britches kids! You're in for a wild ride!

I knew this was you just by the title.

I appear to have found my new obsession piece...

8554332
Lucky you. Chapter 2 is already done, is longer, and just awaiting more editing.

8554333
I have just read the story and that comment so all i can say is

EDIT IT FASTER YOU FOOL! try wearing red while editing cause "da red uns go fasta"

and sorry for being rude

8554349
You seriously underestimate how much beer is required to edit Star Swirls' lines.

I'm on my second now.

If I met someone like this Starswirl, I legitimately think I'd start beating the shot out of them a quarter of the way through their verbal diarrhea.

This version of Star Swirl is so insufferable I keep teetering back and forth on the fence of whether to keep reading, with everything else pulling toward continue. Getting District 9 flashbacks.

This will be an epic murder mystery!
Where the mystery will be "how man ways can you kill an old coot at once?"
Or "how many times can you kill the same old coot?"
Or "Does habeas corpus exist in Equestria and can it be applied if the body has been utterly disintegrated?"

Rainbow Dash raised a wing to shield the sound of her talking from Flash Magnus, “Dude, it’s Flash Magnus. I wouldn't care if he’s packing some sort of slimy collection of tentacles between his legs!”

I asked a question to a similar thing in another fic and never got an answer. I feel this actually gives me the answer but I'll still ask just in case.

Have you seen Drawn Together?

Rainbow Dash raised a wing to shield the sound of her talking from Flash Magnus, “Dude, it’s Flash Magnus. I wouldn't care if he’s packing some sort of slimy collection of tentacles between his legs!”

“… It alarms me that I’m aroused instead of the opposite of that from that visual image,” Starlight murmured.

I'm in the same boat as Starlight, except the image for me is with Twilight.

Rarity and Applejack’s eyes shot open wide. “Jus’ gonna put it out there,” Applejack said, “Ah’m experiencing a level of anger previously unknown to me. Again, just wanna throw that out there for the good of the group.”

I swear I know what this is from but can't remember.

Spike watched the pair walk off before removing his second claw from behind his back, two of the claws crossed over each other. “Like I’m a Scout…” he uttered as a sinister smile crossed his face.

Jackie Chan Adventures

".....MEET ME IN MY STUDY TEN SECONDS FROM NOW THAT I MAY GIVE YOU A SEVERE TONGUE LASHING!” Star Swirl said as he stormed off.

Phrasing

8554370
I've seen it and it might be I got the reference from there, but I don't remember it specifically.

“Like I’m a Scout…”

Heh. After referencing your stories so much in "Three More Things", I now spy a JCA reference. :P

And this is going to be epic. Can't wait to see Star Swirl get whacked with a rolled up newspaper.

8554411 go to google images and look up drawn together octopussoir

8554428
I HAVE seen that episode, it just hit me. Dunno if it's a DIRECT reference, but it works.

8554440 I also PMed you about something, but even looking back at my message I can't remember what I was gonna go into. Damn it.

There

was a beat of silence before the awful, terrible mares doubled down on their vitriol and stupidity. Right! Well, clearly a few decades in Tartarus would fix these fools! Star Swirl’s horn glowed a bright white that simultaneously showed his purity of spirit as well as his unquestionable purity of mind.

You goand dide ina hole you pile of pardon my french shit

And behold, out of the mirror came a fiery horse. Its name was Sunset Shimmer, and Hell followed with her.

Sunset kill him please.

Holy crap... that was one of the funniest things I have ever read.

Sunset is going to kick the everloving shit out of that old bastard.

Plus Rainbow hooking up with Flash Magnus. I can totally see that.

Star Swirl the Bearded, legendary sorcerer and one of the few things that keeps Mom up at night, still?!’

For my own sanity I'm going to assume that Celestia is angry at Star Swirl because he hurt her/did something awful to Luna/whatever and Sunset is going to beat his head against the ground, by his horn, until his horn breaks off ... because the other interpretation is just ... just

And behold, out of the mirror came a fiery horse. Its name was Sunset Shimmer, and Hell followed with her.

Go Sunset!

Holy Sh! I cannot remember the last time a first chapter made me laugh that hard and that much. I love it.

Also, the SS Shimmy has already arrived. Shit is about to go down.

“Ah have considered murder,” Applejack said.

Sounds like AJ's gonna need to call in a favour with Applebloom and Scoots:

8554311
Well then. Prepare yourself, Fimfiction.

Well then.

This is happening.

Haven't read yet, but here's my reaction this far:
*read title* Eh....
*reads author*....liked, favorited

Rainbow Dash raised a wing to shield the sound of her talking from Flash Magnus, “Dude, it’s Flash Magnus. I wouldn't care if he’s packing some sort of slimy collection of tentacles between his legs!”

“… It alarms me that I’m aroused instead of the opposite of that from that visual image,” Starlight murmured.

Dammit Justice...

“Tis is a trick question, that!” Star Swirl declared. “All mares are hideous mewling quims without exception who drain the lifeforce from men and should be locked away in closets for breeding purposes only.”

... WOW.

Fluttershy interrupted, “Star Swirl the Bearded is the worst pony I have ever met, ever. Every second in his presence I spend quietly trying to remind myself it’d would be ‘wrong’ to call a menagerie of angry animals, both big and small, to rip into him and cackle manically as I laugh and laugh to the sounds of his frantic screaming.”

I'd, be disinclined to stop you.

“I know, right?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. She motioned to herself. “I don’t charge for sex! I’m really more of a slut!”

“Oh?” Sunburst replied, “Er, but Spike insisted upon it.”

To be fair, the Crystal Empire is one of the few places where he gets some respect.

“See!” Spike exclaimed. “All I’ve seen the PoS#1 do is eat really spicy food just so he ‘feels something’, litter, cover his eyes and sob to himself, and steal ponies’ record players and nu-metal albums so he can listen to the music with the volume cranked.”

HAH!

“Erm… Actually, he attacked Star Swirl,” Fluttershy pointed out, adding “And really… Who could blame him?”

I'm inclined to agree.

The wrapper bounced harmlessly off the miffed stallion before the Pony of Shadows covered his shadow ‘eyes’ with his forehooves. “OH, FATHER!” it called in an unterrestrial tone that reverberated through the air. “WHY DID YOU NOT LOVE ME?!”

Uh, he was an asshole?

“Probably because he has a dick,” Spike pointed out.

I mean yeah.

“—but it’s not like spellcasters aren’t known for their little idiosyncrasies.”

Idiosyncrasies. That's, an understatement.

Spike’s shoulders slumped. “Glad I have enough wang for both the guys here…” he uttered in a disappointed tone.

There, there.

Twilight suddenly reached forward with both her forelegs and took one of Sunburst’s forehooves in her own. She gazed into Sunburst’s sapphire eyes with her big, wide amethyst ones. “Sunburst, I’m sorry. Things must be getting so hard for you…”

Phrasing?

“Who, me?” Spike said as he pointed to himself with a thumb claw. “Scoff and shock, Twilight Sparkle! Scoff. And. Shock!”

Taking lessons from Rarity I see.

Spike watched the pair walk off before removing his second claw from behind his back, two of the claws crossed over each other. “Like I’m a Scout…” he uttered as a sinister smile crossed his face.

You're more of a Pyro, really.

And behold, out of the mirror came a fiery horse. Its name was Sunset Shimmer, and Hell followed with her.

*evil giggle*

8554357

I absolutely believe you.

And behold, out of the mirror came a fiery horse. Its name was Sunset Shimmer, and Hell followed with her.

Behold, the end shall be painful, for it will be engulfed in fire and brimstone.

your star swirl is 1000X more likable than the one in the show

Nice to know I'm not the only one who thought Star Swirl was a cunt

Kick his ass, Sunset, or slit his throat, whatever works

And behold, out of the mirror came a fiery horse. Its name was Sunset Shimmer, and Hell followed with her.

Calling it now; Sunset is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’s horses. Which one, however, can be left up to debate.

Also, like a rusty and dilapidated overhead sewer main, shit is about to go down.

I predict this will end with Stygian saved and Starswirl banished forever, unless they can get Twilight in on the murder plan.

I Can't WAIT to see more of this!! xD

OH BOY HERE I GO FAVING AGAIN.

The only sad thing is that without a dark tag I'm pretty sure she isn't going to actually reduce him to a grease stain.

8554721
"you'd be surprised what you can live through"

The climax of this is going to be Twilight going psycho isn't it? No way she can absorb all of the abuse with out going from pained to pissed. Maybe he'll visit Luna's moon prison?

Come, Star Swirl, and share in my eternal pain.

Wow. Sunset didn't even wait until Star Swirl had a chance to power up before going Super Saiyan. She is mad. Like, not mad, but mad, and as we all know, the last time she got mad, a literal iceberg literally exploded.

Water isn't even volatile! Do you know how mad you have to be to make water explode?

Oh boy, she's going to solve this mess with the Pony of Shadows, make Star Swirl look like a chump, make Star Swirl cry like a little baby, get the girl... guy... whatever she's into, make her mother proud, avenge her mother, and look good while doing it! Sunset Shimmer is literally the best pony ever and I am so excited!

GO SUNSET! KICK 'EM INNA CROTCH!

This Star Swirl makes Blueblood and Spoiled Rich seem like the nicest ponies in the entire world.

You know what?! Sunset? RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE!

Sunset bursts into the room, "Twilight, Spike told me about your problem so I'm here to he..."

"Great, more moronic wenches. Is this town where they banish the mares so stallions don't have to listen to them?"

...

"Anyway, I'm here to help. I say we come up with a plan to rebanish the pony of shadows, and if that fails just let Star Light loose and clean up whatever remains after. Thoughts?"

...

"Sunset."

"YES, Twilight?"

"Stop punching Starswirl."

....

....

....

"No."

8554627
Im going with War, possibly Death.

Yay! Deus Ex Shimmer here to save/ruin the day!

“Be GONE, harlot!” Star Swirl’s voice rang out.

8554333
*happy changeling noises*

Whelp Star Swirl is a dead pony walking, I'm going to head to my fireproof bunker and watch the beat down/carnage. Also Sunset I think you might need this so you can castrate Star Swirl, I stole it from some silver hair human who was chasing a blonde human called Cloud. *hands over a very long sword*

Just inflict the Dazzlings on Star Swirl. They get revenge. Star Swirl dies. Everyone wins.

Sunset's gonna need a lot of newspaper

THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS STORY!
That episode was good, but Star Swirl was a HUGE ASSHOLE!

Let this great story be told RIGHT! Love everything about this chapter. Best characters are, AJ, Spike, Starlight, Fluttersly, Rainbow, Rockhoof, Mistmane and soon to be Sunset!
Much love for the story!

P.S. At the end you said, 'Canterlot Castle' when Star Swirl went to yell at Twilight, think you meant, 'Ponyville Castle' instead.