Chapter 1: Awakening
So what happens when you wake up from a costume party that ended with you so drunk you could've out-classed a Lannister?
Usually, the answer to that question is a crippling headache with some guy who ‘accidentally’ wore the Pink Power Ranger outfit right next to you in the middle of a dark alley, butt naked.
For me?
I woke up as a dragon.
Igneel, to be exact.
It was quite worrying, to be honest. But weirder shit has happened. Like people who actually believe that the Sharknado will exist one day.
But you want to hear of my reaction and what I do with my new dragony body.
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My brain pounded against my skull, berating me for ever even touching alcohol in the first place. Truly, none could send such swift retribution as that of the organ keeping me barely functioning.
It took the better part of an hour and that accursed flaming ball of plasma to get me on my feet. It was at that moment I knew something was wrong.
Red scales had replaced my skin, with sharp claws doing the same for my fingers. My legs were bent at angles not unlike those of quadrupeds, but my arms remained the same general shape as before. My neck was significantly longer than before. A weight on my back had me realize that I had wings, and a quick feel revealed a tail. A large X scar adorned my chest.
I was a dragon. But I was no ordinary dragon! This was the dragon that most aspired to be!
I was motherf***ing Igneel!
Under normal circumstances, one would freak the hell out. Not me, though. Alcohol the previous night and the feel of skull-fuckery did help with that.
Seriously Brain! Lay off me once in awhile. I've already got enough to do trying to get my engineering degree without you punishing me for having fun.
As I was slowly getting over my hangover, I looked around the area.
Imagine a large cave with what seemed to have a lava waterfall going into a pool large enough for two of me. There were three corridors connected to the room. Curiosity took me down the left path.
That little beauty brought me to something that made my eyes widen and my brain to almost stop functioning.
You know Smaug’s horde? I've got that.
Piles upon piles of gold and silver and jewels! If I wanted to, I could quite literally take a bath of treasure. Scrooge McDuck would be jealous of this. One question went through my mind as I looked upon the wealth.
Is there a magic sword of dragon slaying in my lair?
For all that I was, a thief was not one of the monikers that I held. Until it was proven that this beautiful pile of wealth was mine, I shan't touch it. Granted, it took me a good while to finally go back to the previous room, but human greed is a fierce beast to fight. Was it worse now that I was a dragon? Meh, questions for later.
I went down the one on the right and found a sleeping area. In the ground was a shallow pit filled with furs, making a comfortable looking bed. I was definitely curling up in that after my date with exploration.
The last hallway lead to the outside. And was I surprised.
Snow. That was all the eye could see for miles. Well, that and mountains, but they were all buried in the icy blanket. The clouds were so thick that it completely blocked out the Sun. The wind was howling like a monster, threatening all who would be foolish enough to enter its domain.
I for one did not enjoy the prospect of meeting John Egbert’s demented winds, so back into the nice and lava-y caves I went.
As I neared the lava pool, I had an idea. If Natsu was immune to all heat-related attacks from the anime, was that similar for me. I ignored my hammering brain that was telling me that this was a bad idea, but I couldn’t care less. All lava was was heated up rocks. If that crazy bastard could eat explosions, then I could take a bath in liquid rocks.
I dipped my foot into the pool and was rewarded with a nice warmth. Following my foot, my body found itself in the warm embrace of the planet’s equivalent of blood. Gruesome analogy, I know, but it was the only one that fit. It was deep enough that it came up to my new hips. Curling my tail (that was going to take some getting used to), I sat down.
Now my head rested on the edge of the lava pool, and I was nearing slumber. God, why is this so good!
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Would you all believe me if I said a month had passed since that happened? Of course you would. This is my story after all.
Anyway, in that time, I learned that I was not in a hangover coma/dream. I was in the body of the King of the Fire Dragons. I learned basic dragon skills like flying and fire breath. And I could drink lava.
No joke on that last one. Filled me up as much as one would expect, but left me shitting literal bricks.
In that whole month, nothing happened. Literally, the only thing of note was finding an actual sword in that pile, and I could feel the enchantments on it. I didn't care if it was only used for bear hunting, that was going to be melted!
It was another day in my new, boring life. Chillaxing in my pool like a baller, almost heading to sleep when I smelt something.
It was the smell of a living being.
I followed my predatory senses to the entrance of my cave. And way beyond.
“Who the hell would walk in that?”
Steeling myself, I flew into the frozen land. I really wasn't going to question my body after tracking the smell for ten minutes. When I found the source, I almost facepalmed.
Before me, in the snow, was a crystal horse with a tattoo.
I was in f***ing My Little Pony.
Damn you little sister for this knowledge!
What the hell did I do that night,I asked myself as I flew it back to my cave.
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Sombra laughed as he watched the pony run into the frozen lands. And why wouldn't he?
It would take weeks to make it far enough south to where Equestria lied on hoof. In that time, either wendigoes or frostbite would claim her life. It was a willing death sentence. No creature short of the amalgamation could live more than one week.
Get help to overthrow me? I think not.
He turned away to face his palace. The kingdom he usurped from his dear sister years ago.
Soon, he will be ready to take his rightful place as Conqueror of the World!
None would stop him now.
Not with his Crystal Empire supplying him.
I thought this was gonna be a Displaced Duke Nukem. Boy, was I wrong? XD
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Why have Duke Nukem when you can have a flying spicy dinosaur?
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No, I meant when I saw the title, my first thoughts were that I mentioned in the first comment.
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I now see my mistake. Please forgive me, sir.
Hm... not the typical Displaced. But I still want to se more before I give a final judge to the story.
Sombras definitely is gonna die horribly. Igneel's fire can be hotter then the sun, and can be felt even from miles away. Sombras only has Crystal and shadow attacks, not really powerful ones at that. Sombra only flings stuff at his foes in an overwhelming manner. Plus Igneel fought Acnologia, Sombra is gonna get one shot by Igneel when he shows up and we know Sombras ego is so big that he probably thinks that he can kill Igneel no problem. Can't wait to see Sombra get stomped into the ground
Oh yeah, love your other story too
Well, MC at least you're not this jackass...
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I would think lava would be stupidly good for you do to all the minerals and shit...
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Unfortunately, it is still melted rocks and doesn't feel good coming out of that end, especially when it's cooled down to being solid.
...Oh. This isn't the one I was thinking of.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122954/hail-to-the-king
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I was listening to Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold when I named this, the rest is purely coincidental.
That is pretty funny though.
8555746 Well, the other HttK is hilarious.
Seriously, don't eat or drink during it; you WILL choke and/or do spit-takes with frequency. I laughed so hard I cramped up.
Thing is, I was looking at that story when I saw the notice for this one. Coincidence!
Well...I GUESS!?
Lava soup. Im fine with this.
The first thing the went through my mind when I saw the title was Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold.
Well this looks like it could be fun
Um... Igneel was never Fairy Tails fire dragon officially, only by technicallity since he was inside Natsu (and the technicallity is a stretch really...)
THIS IS GOLDEN! PLEASE UPDATE MORE!!!!
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this comment seems odd for some reason. remind me to come back to it after i read this story.
should I open a betting table on how spike will react when seeing this guy??
Hahahahaha dam this chapter made me laugh much harder then it probably should have. I love stories in this kind of crazy style so I hope you continue it
The story certainly has promise, but I think it's moving way too fast. A month passed in under 1200 words! What was our protagonist doing that whole time? I'd love more depth and development here in terms of both character and plot. You might have awesome ideas you want to get out quickly, but it's okay to slow down to give a story room to breathe and let the readers immerse themselves in your world.
It seems like you're a new author on this site. If you haven't already, you might check out this helpful writing guide.
I don't say this to get you down but to encourage you. This story has a lot of potential, and I'm going to be following it. I look forward to seeing what you can do.
Wasn’t there another Hail to the King with King Sombrero, Or am I hallucinating?
8557407 There's this one: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122954/hail-to-the-king
It's friggin' hilarious. Seriously, don't eat or drink while reading it.
I look forward to where you go with this story.
Is this going to be Igneel at full power or post-acnologia when he got his soul removed?
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If it looks like this, you need to run. Very far. Very fast.
Is the title supposed to be an avenged sevenfold reference?
Damn it! I had a similar idea, never finished the first chapter though.
Anyway, good story so far and it has potential.
Now I'm unsure if I should publish my story, but knowing myself it will probably be changed into something else.
procrastinator?
hello my fellow side-tracker!
I expect the next chapter delayed till next year?
I can't WAIT!
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That... I'm going to be describing all dragons as flying spicy dinosaurs from now on. Bravo.
Rule No. 1: If you find an enchanted weapon that might be used to slay your kin, destroy it at all costs. Someone will end up finding it and killing you with it.
Suddenly, dragon brunch!! And Sombra was no more......
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lol
yes