"I'm waking up to Ash and Dust,
I wipe my brow and sweat my rust.
I'm breathing in the chemicals.
I'm breaking in and shaping up
And checking out on the prison bus.
This is it, the Apocalypse."
-Imagine Dragons, Radioactive
My body felt weird all over as my eyes snapped awake, it took me a minute to realize that I wasn't in my bedroom anymore, I really had no idea where I was anymore to be honest. It looked like a house of some sort, but one that no one had lived in for a very long time.
"Mommy? Where are you?" I asked as I struggled to get up, I just found myself falling onto my... hooves?
I looked down at myself, yep, I had hooves instead of hands like the horses my grandpa kept at his farm. Okay, that was weird, I had to be dreaming right? People didn't just turn into horses, right? I'd wake up soon enough and get to see my mommy and everything would be back to normal.
I looked back at myself for a moment and my eyes went wide when I saw a pair of wings growing out of what I guess was my back. I looked like a horse, a small winged horse!
"MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU!" I cried out, trying to pinch myself because I was always told that it would help you wake up but I wound up more punching myself, it still hurt though.
Nothing, I was still in this weird body! What was going on? How did this happen to me? Where was my mommy?
I just sat there crying for the longest time, I had no idea what I was going to do now. I struggled to get to my hooves once more, I had no idea how I was going to walk on four legs but I was going to manage somehow.
If there was anything I was sure of, if mommy was out there somewhere she'd be looking for me. Maybe she wasn't too far away, yeah, I was sure that she wasn't too far away, I just had to hope that was the case.
I dusted off an old mirror and got a good look at my new body. I was a shade of light blue now, my once dark black hair had turned white with a streak of blue in it, and yeah the wings were still there.
I remembered a picture I had seen in a book mommy had read to me when I was younger of a creature she called a Pegasus. Was that what I was now, a Pegasus? It felt so weird to have wings, I wondered if they really worked.
I wasn't going to get anywhere just staying in what was left of this house so I started heading out onto the road. The area had become covered with plants with just a few homes here and there that looked like no one had lived in them in years.
"Hello? Is anyone out there?" I called out, I didn't think anyone would be able to answer me, but it was worth a try at least. "Mommy? Anyone?"
I was just met with quiet as I moved from house to house. There wasn't anyone anywhere, just a lot of quiet. I sighed and sat down on the ground outside one of the houses and looked up at the sky.
What was going on? Why was this happening to me? Was there even any people left or were they all like me?
My ears suddenly perked up when I heard a crashing sound coming from nearby. I turned towards the source of the noise and saw a small shape darting out of one of the buildings and towards the woods nearby.
Given that it was the first sign that anyone was still alive, I ran after the shape in hopes that it would be someone who could help me.
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I followed the shape through the woods as best I could, it looked like whoever it was had a better knowledge of this area than I did. I finally came in for a stop in the middle of a clearing and looked around, whoever I had been chasing was gone.
I sighed a little and sat down, I hadn't had any luck finding my mom and the only living creature I had seen had gotten away from me. I was all alone in the world and it terrified me more than anything.
What had happened to me? Why was I suddenly this weird horse creature? I hated not knowing the answers to these questions and I wished that I had mommy with me, she'd know what to do.
My ears perked up when I heard the sound of someone stepping on a stick. They weren't too far away and I started to head that way when I heard a voice from behind me.
"Hey, get in here!" A girl's voice said and I turned to see a pair of green eyes staring out at me from some sort of trapdoor. "Its not safe, they'll find you and take you away!"
"Who will?"
"The Trappers, come on!" The girl said and gestured for me to join her. "You'll be safe here, I promise!"
I thought about it for a moment before opening the trapdoor a little and entering it next to the girl who shut the door behind us. After a couple of minutes of silence that felt like hours, there was the sound of someone walking just above us.
I was about to say something when I felt a hoof pressed against my lips, I guess that meant my new companion was a horse thing too, that figured really.
"Come on out little filly," a male voice said from above the ground, it was quiet, but we could hear him almost perfectly so he was likely standing near the trapdoor. "Where'd that pony go?"
"Are you sure you saw somepony appear here?" A woman's voice asked, she had a slight accent, not like mommy's, it sounded strange to me.
"Y-y-yes ma'am," a third voice said, the woman said something I couldn't understand which made me gulp a little.
"Come on, we've got another report to check on, we can't go chasing ghosts," the first voice said and there was the sound of them walking away.
After a minute we peeked out from under the trap door just in time to see three more horse things vanish into the forest. Ponies maybe? Were we ponies now? That was what they called us wasn't it?
"Its okay, they're gone now," the girl, or filly I guess that would be said as she closed up the trapdoor and lead me down into the small room bellow.
The room was dimly lit by several candles that were placed in little spots on the wall. I could finally get a look at my new friend, and she wasn't what I expected at all. While she looked like a small horse, her body was marked with stripes that seemed odd, almost circular around her face.
"Thank you," I manage to finally say. "Who were they?"
"I don't know," the striped filly said with a shake of her head. "They seem to be interested in taking ponies when they first appear. I found this old place when I was running from them after I wound up here a few days ago."
"Oh, so you weren't born a..." I said as I briefly tried to figure out what she was. "Zebra?"
"Oh no, I appeared here just like you did I guess," the Zebra said and offered me a hoof. "I'm Alicia Daniels by the way, what's your name?"
"Katie Sinclair," I said with a smile as I shook her hoof. "What is this place?"
"I'm not sure, I think it was a hideout for someone a long time ago," Alicia said with a shrug. "It was still pretty well stocked, but we're going to have to leave soon and find more food."
I looked around briefly, there was some food here and there but it looked like most of it was already gone. It was kind of weird to find a place in practically my backyard, I wondered how long it had been since I had fallen asleep.
"Have you seen an older pony that may be looking for her daughter?"
"Oh, you're looking for your mom huh?" Alicia asked and I nodded. "No, sorry, at least no Pegasi. A few showed up around the same time I did, but they were all teenagers, I doubt any of them were your mom."
My ears drooped a little, of course it wouldn't be as easy as just asking the first creature I met where she was. Maybe she was out there somewhere looking for me, maybe she hadn't even appeared yet, either way I just wished that she was here right now.
I started crying again and was surprised to feel an arm, or well I guess a leg wrap around me. I looked at Alicia who looked at me reassuringly.
"Its okay Katie, I'm sure she's out there somewhere," she said before her ears drooped a little. "Not like me, nopony is looking for me out there."
"Why not?" I asked her. "You have a family don't you?"
"I, was in a foster home before I appeared like this," the Zebra said with a shake of her head. "I mean they were nice enough, but I was always the youngest and the smallest so I tended to not be noticed."
"I'm sorry," I said, it was my turn to hug Alicia, I had always had my mom but she didn't have anyone.
We gathered up some food and started eating in silence. It was kind of stale, but it was at least edible.
"What's your mom like?"
"Oh, she's wonderful, she works hard on her novels, but she's always willing to help me when I need it. Its always just been us and my grandparents sometimes, so she does her best to be there for me. I hope she's okay, wherever she is."
"I'm sure she is," Alicia said reassuringly as she finished eating. "I just wish I knew more about what happened to the world, do you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I do," I said and looked around. "Uh, where are we going to sleep?"
Alicia chuckled a little and nodded to some rough bedding that was in one corner of the small room. "Its enough for the two of us at least."
"Yeah, it something," I said. "Its just weird you know... do you think there are any humans out there?"
"Maybe there are, I don't know," Alicia admitted. "I've only seen a few ponies come through this area that hadn't just appeared. None of them have mentioned humans at all, so, I really have no idea."
"We'll see I guess," I said and looked back at my body again, flexing my wings a little. "I wonder if I can fly."
"Well, you are a Pegasus right? It kind of stands to reason that you can I guess," Alicia said. "Want to go try it out?"
"Sure, why not?"
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We moved up to the trapdoor and after being sure that there wasn't anyone, or anypony, in the clearing above we pushed it open and stepped outside. The sun looked like it was going down in the distance.
I stretched my wings out a little, it was weird enough being on all fours but having these things just made it weirder.
"How will this even work?" I wondered out loud.
"I dunno, I think I saw one Pegasus just take off, try flapping your wings I guess," Alicia suggested.
"Okay, here goes nothing."
I flapped my wings for a moment without getting any lift, I flapped harder, my wings buzzing a little as I managed to lift a few inches off the ground for a moment, before falling flat on my face.
"Oww, that was not pleasant..." I said with a groan as I struggled to get back up to my hooves.
"Are you okay Katie?" Alicia asked as she helped me up.
"Yeah, I just, I dunno," I said as I flapped my wings weakly. "I guess either its not as simple as just flapping your wings or something else."
"Yeah, I'm sorry I don't know either," Alicia said as she inspected my wings briefly. "They look fine to me, a little small maybe, but I don't actually know anything about Pegasus wings."
"Its fine, its probably nothing, maybe my body just isn't used to them or something," I said with a shrug as I folded my wings at my sides again.
It was weird, I almost felt disappointed by this development. I had only been a Pegasus for a few hours but it felt, weird not to be able to fly, almost like it wasn't normal somehow. I don't know why I felt like that, mostly because I didn't even know how to fly.
It was also at this point when I got my first really good look at Alicia. She was a grey-ish white with pale stripes covering part of her body (though I noticed there was a blank space on her butt, not that I was staring at it or anything, I wondered what that was for). her hair, or mane I guess was tied into a braid that made me wonder how she managed to get it done with hooves.
We headed back out of the woods and into the old neighborhood to try and find anything else. We found what looked like an abandoned vegetable garden with some food still growing in it and gathered up what we could into some bags that Alicia had brought with her.
"I think this used to be a farm or something," Alicia suggested. "I don't know where the ponies who lived here went off to, but it at least gives us something to eat."
I nodded and took one of the bags and slung it over my back after making sure it was closed before we headed back towards the trapdoor. Alicia looked up at the stars for a long moment while I worked to get the door open with my hooves.
"The stars are lovely tonight," she said, I looked up and saw more stars than I had seen in my life.
It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen, the entire night sky was filled with white lights and the moon above. I had seen stars before when I was visiting my grandparents, but never this many.
"They really are," I said with a light smile. "I don't think I've ever seen that many at once."
"Its weird... sometimes it feels almost like they call out to me," Alicia said, which made me look at her strangely.
"What are they saying?"
"I don't know, its probably nothing."
I was a little worried by that, but she was right it probably was nothing. I finally managed to get the trapdoor open and we started down into the hole. Alicia closed and locked the door behind us.
We stayed up talking for a little while, it turned out that we had only lived a block apart growing up but we had never met. Alicia was the youngest of four foster children and the only girl.
I told her a little about myself, I was the only child of a single mom (she never wanted to talk about what happened to my Dad). My mom was a writer who had gotten a couple of books published, though she didn't really let me read them.
Finally I yawned and stretched out on the bedding while Alicia blew out the candles and laid down next time me.
"Its weird..."
"What is?"
"This is the first time my mom wasn't here to read me a story..." I said with a sigh as I looked up at the dark ceiling above us. "I miss that the most about her right now, she always told such wonderful stories."
"Well, why don't you tell me one then?" Alicia suggested.
I smiled a little as I thought through the stories mom had told me, I smiled a little as some ideas started to form in my mind. "Once upon a time there was a brave young princess named Katherine. She found herself lost and far from home and her mother when she met a young warrior named Alexandra from a distant land..."
"Hey, I'm not from a distant land!" Alicia said with a light giggle, she was getting the idea.
"Hey, you're a Zebra, just go with it, its my first time trying to tell a story," I said with a laugh as I continued telling the story into the night. After awhile I didn't hear Alicia say anything, I smiled a little when I realized the Zebra filly had fallen asleep.
I hadn't found my mother yet, but I had at least found somepony who could help me figure out this strange new world. I smiled and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.
Ooohhhh a new story!
A nice start but not enough to really have an opinion yet. Though I will say, it is written enough to seem like it was from the perspective of a 10 year old. No hugely fancy words or thing like that.
Seems nice so far, very interesting premise, but the story would likely benefit from a bit slower ability development. She's a pegasus for just a couple of hours, and yet she's already capable of moving the limbs she never had before - and even achieve some lift (in LPoE Cloudy Skies spends weeks of hard training to get to the same point).
8381145 Yeah, sorry, really in all honesty her wings are useless anyway, she's a flightless Pegasus similar to Scootaloo from the show and I wanted to establish that early on, I didn't even think of that.
8380952 Yeah I worked hard to make sure it felt like it was from the perspective of a child, I had to keep myself from using fancier words several times since I'm used to writing adults.
Awesome story!
I'd like to start off by saying that you've done so much well here--brevity is the soul of wit after all, and more has happened in this one chapter than in some whole stories. Excellent job not getting bogged down in the unimportant details, excellent job setting a scene and giving us characters we care about.
I really, truly cannot say enough good things about this story so far. It reminds me of all the reasons I enjoy these stories in the first place.
I do have a few suggestions:
Every writer has their favorite quirk. For me, I often screw up my said tags. I think yours is the comma splice. Beware!
Check out your first sentence:
This is four sentences. I don't think there are any easy rules for finding these, just... if you could ever switch out a comma with a period and have the sentence still make sense, it should probably be a period. Use em-dashes and semicolons to link complete thoughts, though in general a full stop is always better. There are a few others in the chapter that really stood out as well, but I'm sure you can find them.
Seriously though, great work. It's nice to see such an authentic perspective. It's nice to see a story that doesn't waste time on pointless details.
It would be nice to see a little more detail in future chapters, particularly where the characters would notice. (for instance, are the houses human-sized, implying they're actually from our world? Or are they pony-sized houses, implying we're much further in the future? That seems like a detail a child might notice.
Also to the tune of "not a problem but would make the writing stronger." In the future, consider small changes to the wording that wouldn't make it any longer but would help us paint a stronger picture. Like changing "food" to "cans" or "bedding" to "ratty sleeping bag." Again, this isn't a problem or a mistake. just one of those useful tips someone gave me.
But that's a minor gripe. Overall, I love what you've done so far. You've done more to win me to these characters in a few thousand words than many authors do in a whole story.
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Well, it'll take more chapters together a more honest impression of this story
8381940 I understand, I just wanted to use the first chapter to set a few things up.
Its a good start. Like the others i am reserving judgement for the second chapter. So far, I am liking the story.
8381145
In the episode, “Baby Cakes” the infant Pegasus Pound Cake in diapers was able to fly and then stand on the ceiling. Also, nopony said that it was unusual for Pound Cake to fly. Therefore, being able to fly at that young age is considered an innate ability for a Pegasus.
Perhaps, Cloudy Skies was thinking that the world still worked as it did before the Event. Therefore, it took her weeks to be able to tap into the Force to activate her magic. In other words, maybe it takes longer for humans turned into ponies to relearn the post-Event physics of their remade reality to activate their inner pony magic? I suppose that being near Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy created some type of magical connection that helped Pound Cake fly?
More importantly, I suppose it depends on the individual author and how closely their stories follow the cannon series and how much their want to create new guidelines on how fast or slow their characters learn how to use their inner abilities. We can attribute differences in magical strength in how strong magic is in different areas on Earth. Perhaps, places like Stonehenge have existing magic that can enhance or decrease the overall magic of an area. Or, we can attribute differences in magical strength in author perspective on their individual story.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/8/8d/Pound_Cake_oh_yes_S2E13.png/revision/latest?cb=20130522004009
8514041
Oh, I don't doubt for a second that every returning pegasus (since the Word of God is that this one is flightless) is capable of flight since the first day.
My concern is not of the kind that the pegasus doesn't have the required magic to fly. It's just that they never had wings before. It is quite inevitable that they will learn, and that it would take them a various amount of time, but at the same time, it's harder to believe that it takes some of them mere minutes. Pound Cake has the advantage of being born that way.
It's heavily implied in the original series, that post-Event physics is exactly the same as pre-Event one. Also, both kids in this story are Returnees.
Indeed. It might be just my personal issue with the stories where people are being transformed into a creature with a different set of limbs, and it takes them only several moments to start acting like they always were that way, especially if the process implies no mental manipulation (because it'll be silly to poke this at Pandemic, where there's a massive mental adjustment going on during the transformation process, or Five Score, for obvious reasons). It's not a large one, but it's still here.
8514071 Well, I mean it wasn't minutes, more like hours.
Also the most recent chapter confirmed that she can't fly.