Chapter 1
The city of Canterlot, a beautiful cliff-side sanctuary nestled snugly into the side of the Northern Mountain Range. It is the capital city of Equestria, home to over a hundred thousand residents from the common worker, to the highest-ranking political figures across the land. Anything and everything could happen in this city of opportunity, including one of the most improbable events to occur in recorded history.
Human, the creature called himself. A being not from the humble planet of Equis, but hailing from across the universe from a planet called Earth. Despite the circumstances of the human’s mysterious appearance, he was welcomed within the walls of Canterlot Castle. Both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna saw fit to learn more about the human; and as time went on, a certain attraction towards the Solar Deity and human began to grow. Soon enough, rumor mills began to spur allegations of a secret love affair between the new resident of the castle and his two close friends. After a year of downplaying and ignoring the far-fetched allegations, the goddess of the sun saw fit to host a public conference to put an end to some of the ridiculous rumors their secret relationship was creating.
“It has come to my attention that certain rumors have been circulating through the tabloids of my romantic involvement with the human, David Nune,” Celestia clearly spoke into the microphone, her words having all the reporters on the edges of their seats. “I would like to set the record straight once and for all about the issue,” the white mare paused for but a moment as she looked over the sea of reporters with a small smirk. “The answer, is yes,” and with that single sentence, the white mare thrusted Equestria’s resident human towards a path of royalty, fame, and luxury. However, deeply nestled into the depths of the Everfree Forest, an entirely different scenario was unfolding for a particular individual.
The sound of steel on steel rang out through the empty room of the abandoned castle. Shattered pillars and broken window debris littered the floor of the old room as the sound of two swords colliding once more filled the air. Sweat poured from the exhausted human’s face. His clothes were in tatters while his torso sported several fresh wounds from the enemy’s blade. Bringing up the sword above his head to block the experienced blade of his opponent, the human quickly gained a few feet of distance before resetting his stance.
“Concede victory to me, and I shall make your suffering swift,” a dark mare chortled. Her voice was commanding, though filled with a sense of giddiness one gets when playing with their food. To his credit, Ethan could only smirk at the tenacity and overconfidence of the dark mare in front of him. He knew he was in a bit of a sticky situation, since the mare had him beat in skill with a blade. Though that didn’t stop him from making her work for what she wanted.
“Like I would ever concede to you,” Ethan retorted, raising his blade before charging towards the mare. With one fluid motion, the human’s opponent easily parried the blade as she brought her own to the human’s neck, nicking a small portion as a thin trail of blood began to seep from the wound and onto her blade.
“It looks like I win,” the mare happily stated, leaning her muzzle next to the human’s right ear.
“Again,” she finished, giving the tender portion of the human’s injured neck a few loving licks and kisses. The two combatants smiled towards one another as the human lowered his own blade before sheathing it.
“Next time my beloved,” he stated affirmably. The mare replied with an adorable giggle the human had come to know and love.
“You are improving, though it would take another hundred years of rigorous training to even reach my level of expertise,” Nightmare boasted as she sheathed her own blade. Knowing full well what was coming next, Ethan readied himself as the mare pounced on her target, pinning him to the ground with a sultry smile.
“It looks like it is time to reap the rewards of my victory.” The mare’s voice did not hold back her need for the human, as she began to slowly kiss along Ethan’s sweaty body, indulging herself in the scent and taste of her mate. To his credit, Ethan had become more adept in resisting the mare’s attempts from when she first started flirting with him. Though even after being with the mare for two years, the human couldn’t help but let out a soft moan of pleasure as he felt the mare’s soft lips upon his body.
“Damn Moony, are you sure it isn’t your time of the year again? I mean, you have been rather touchy feely the past few days,” Ethan remarked. This earned him a small glare from his mare, though her face contorted into a small frown as she pushed herself off of the human.
“How dare you insinuate that we would partake in such actions. Such acts are reserved for those of the married status only. To slander my good name with your accusations of premarital intercourse is just... good day sir,” the mare bellowed out, before comically storming off and away from the human with her head held high. Ethan could only watch in amusement as the overdramatic alicorn made her way through one of the large stone doorways that led towards the communal bathhouse.
“Oh Moony, what would I do without you,” Ethan remarked, before picking himself off the ground and following after his oh so loving marefriend.
Several Days Later
“Are you sure you don’t want one of us to go with you?” The worried voice of Celestia rang out. The human in question gave a hearty chuckle as he pounded the chest plate of his suit of armor.
“I think I will be fine sweetie. If anything, I doubt I will even need the ten guards you are sending with me,” David added with another small chuckle. Princess Celestia gave an exasperated sigh though nodded her head with a smile.
“Forgive me honey, it is in my nature to be overly cautious. I just don’t want anything bad to befall you,” Celestia stated. The white alicorn was quickly swept into the loving embrace of her human, though the armor did partially restrict his movements.
“Fear not milady, for it is a knight’s duty to protect his princess from threats both foreign and domestic.” Celestia only rolled her eyes, though giggled lightly as she felt her lover plant a small kiss on her cheek.
“Sir, the carriages have been readied and we are awaiting your presence,” a guard firmly stated, adorned in a set of solar guard armor. With a simple nod of his head, David smiled towards his marefriend before giving her one final kiss on the hand in a knightly fashion.
“Until we meet again milady,” the human stated with small bow before throwing on his own helmet and following after the guard. As the two departed from sight, Celestia let out another nervous sigh. For some reason, a growing worry in the pit of her stomach kept gnawing at her and the task assigned to her beloved. It was true that he was recently made an honorary knight, more for the formalities of courting than for experience, which he lacked compared to anypony else. Though as a knight, he still had a duty to uphold the peace and harmony of Equestria by any means necessary. And while no knight within the last two hundred years has died while on a mission, it still made the mare uncomfortable at the mere thought.
“I should really get started on my paperwork. I need a bit of a distraction until my little human returns,” Celestia quietly mumbled to herself before venturing off towards her office.
About half an hour later, the entourage of guards and human were quickly making their way through the sky.
“David, might I ask what your particular mission entails?” One of the guards questioned, pulling the distracted human from his thoughts. Looking about the small cabin of the sky carriage, David could tell that the three guards currently situated with him were left out of the loop, most likely haven been given another mission pertaining to his protection.
“I suppose I can, since your only mission seems to be guarding me,” he answered dejectedly before continuing.
“My mission is to investigate some sightings of a creature near the ruins of the old castle in the Everfree. Apparently a few ponies thought they saw something near the area and since this area is considered dangerous, they called upon our service.” The guards, seemingly satisfied with the human’s answer, nodded their heads in understanding.
“You know she only does this because she cares about you?” The same guard chimed in. David let out a heavy sigh with a nod of his head.
“I know she does. I just can’t help feel that she is underestimating me though. I mean, I can handle myself in a scuffle just fine.” A few moments of silence descended upon the car as the stallion tried to form a response.
“If you ask me, I think she does this more for herself than you,” another guard answered. All eyes soon shifted towards the only mare of the group, a pristine white pegasus who ruffled her feathers, trying to get into a more comfortable position before continuing her answer.
“Princess Celestia has always been the sort to worry. I’ve had the privilege of guarding her for the last few years, and I can say with utter certainty, that the mare cares deeply about you as well as all her other subjects. She is like a mother to most, and as such, is very protective and worrisome of all her little ponies. Now add into the mix that you are her lover and you can best be sure that she will do all in her power to make sure you are safe.” Silence descended upon the carriage once again as everyone mulled over the response of the mare. It was true that Celestia’s nature was very nurturing, just like that of a mother, though none of them had put it together until the mare said something.
“We are about to land in Ponyville.” A loud voice came from outside. It was enough to stir everyone from their thoughts as they all soon began to focus back on the task at hand. With a steady thud and screeching of wheels, the carriage came to a halt. The door was soon opened by an outside guard before all of the occupants filtered out behind the human.
“David!” A familiar voice called out. Before the human could react he was enveloped in a tight hug from Celestia’s adopted daughter.
“Twilight, it is good to see you,” David replied, returning the hug as best he could in his armor. After a few seconds, the two separated with a smile adorning the princess’s muzzle.
“So what brings you out to Ponyville? I was told you would be coming, but Celestia failed to mention the reason why.” A small chuckle soon escaped the human as he nodded his head.
“It’s really nothing you need to concern yourself with Twilight. Apparently some ponies thought they saw a pony or something near the old castle in the Everfree. So I was selected to come check it out, though I doubt I will find much.” Twilight’s features melded from happy to hesitant before rubbing her left arm with her right hand.
“Just be careful ok? Everyone knows Celestia will have a fit if you get hurt,” Twilight replied. This earned the mare a soft sigh before nodding his head.
“Don’t worry Twilight, I will be fine. Besides, I’m not doing this alone,” David, added while gesturing towards the dozen or so guards behind him. “Anyways, I best be off. The sooner I investigate the old castle, the sooner I can come back here and catch up with you before heading back to Canterlot.” This earned the human another smile from the mare before nodding her head in earnest.
“I look forward to it David. I will have Spike brew that tea you always like.” With one final hug, the human was soon off to do his job as a knight. Little did he know, he was not going like what he found.
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*Shrugs*
Well, there's always a lack of Nightmare Moon stories, so I'll track this one to look where it will lead.
As for feedback bits, a few things to consider:
- actually removing the text in brackets from the annotation would make it better. It may not be the best, but it should work for now imao and mentioning something like *i'm bad at summaries* in the actual summary has more chances to annoy/aggravate potential readers than anything else. If you really want to keep that part, it would belong more in the 'author's comments' at the end of the chapter.
- focusing on using more descriptions rather than just 'Name' and 'Human' can probably help. A few more pronouns (esp. in the latter part) perhaps?
- If Twilight's adoption is a plot point - it needs more exposition (she had her family in canon after all), otherwise it can (and most likely will) aggravate/annoy readers as a mistake or fanon on your part. If you do not want to provide said exposition in this chapter, the 'adoption' part can be left for the more appropriate moment.
GLHF!
8276803
You are right about the description thing. So thanks for making me think about it a little more. As for the other part about Twilight. I will expand on that later on, which is one of the reasons why I sometimes hate writing stories, chapter by chapter. Since you can't read ahead and find out if it was a mistake or actually worded that way on purpose. Oh well, that is just something that comes with the territory of updating, chapter by chapter.
8277068
Partially so, yes. The whole point is a little bit complex though. You see, while 'AU' tag surely allows you to introduce any changes to the canon, the main issue is to introduce those changes to help the story-flow and avoid both 'overwhelming exposition' and 'lack of details issues'.
Generally, while adding relatively small, but still crucial details concerning the key characters (supporting cast and occasionally even just important figures of the setting included) you want to either expand a bit upon them (a few sentences may be enough till the more focused scene) or reconsider the use of such details at this point once again.
Perhaps it adds something to the scene, that would otherwise be missed? Is it logical to for it to come into a focus of IC perspective? And at this exact moment? If not, it may just seem as an unnecessary cliffhanger that may (or may not) disrupt the story-flow without adding anything.
Sure, as an author you have a final decision on it, I just focused on something that I consider important. Hope it helped.
Is this going to be updated?
8389320
I honestly don't know. It might be, but it doesn't seem like a lot of people are interested in it like some of my other stories. So I will focus on those more.
8389623
Crap. I was interested in seeing where this story goes. Well this and another story
8390100
Was it another one of my stories?
8390207
Aye. Though i think it was last updated in march
8390228
Which story is it, if you don't mind me asking?
8390241
The best of friends
Is this story dead?
8784220 I hate to say it, but most likely yes. May update in the future, but no plans for now.