My Little Heartbreak: Meanwhile, Back at the Farm

by Jet_Black1980

I'm Sleeping in the Barn

Chapter 26

I’m Sleeping in the Barn.

Applejack’s mind was overworking with what she had just heard and thought it saw. What it had conjured up was almost as bad as stories that she had heard about folks, ‘walking in on their parents,’ mixed with rumors of what you would find in a filthy magazine. Not that there was anything wrong with stories like that, or with parents doing what parents do. What happens between consenting adults, happens between consenting adults. But that was her brother! “Ain’t no way no how ah’m letting somepony like that get all romantically involved with ma brother! Even if it isn’t what it looks like - which ah really hope it isn’t - Ah am going to snip this here in the bud!” Heartbreak was looking at Applejack with an exceptionally worried look on her face. “Right,” Applejack began, “You have some explainin’ ta do there, lil’ miss.”

Heartbreak frowned in confusion and wiped her face. “Over apple butter? It’s not like I was emptying your fridge, Apple-”
“No! It’s not about that!” Applejack shouted.

“The apple basket then? Look we were only going to be gone for like ten minutes! Just enough time for a quick-” Heartbreak started motioning to the refrigerator.

Applejack got up in Heartbreak’s face. “AH know what what you were really up ta, and ah’m here ta let ya know that there isn’t going ta be any of that! No sir, No ma’am!”

Heartbreak looked totally confused and tried to back away, only to find that Applejack was fixed in tow. “Huh? Applejack, what are you talking about?”

“Oh, you very know what ah’m talking about! Ah bet ya were thinking it when ya were chasing that one throughout Ponyville the other day!” Applejack shouted, stomping her hoof.

“Really Applejack, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. But I don’t like where this conversation seems to be headed. Could you please back away?” Heartbreak asked, sweat starting to drip off her forehead.

“Right! Let me make as plain as day then!” Applejack turned away for a moment to collect her words. “Do ya or do ya not have any romantic interest in ma brother!?”

Heartbreak blinked hard and shook her head. She proceeded to shake her head again and her eyes went blank. “What?!”

“Ya heard me! Cause if ya are pursuing ma brother, well let me tell ya somthin’ there missy, ya are chasing after the wrong pony!” Applejack said, crossing her hooves.

Heartbreak stood there in stunned silence for a moment almost scared to say anything. Then she started rubbing her temples. “First off and I repeat, ‘What?’ And second, ‘Huh?!’”

“Don’t try playing ignorant with me there ‘Little Miss Heartbreak.’ Ah saw how you were fawning over him back on the hill-” Applejack started.

“AJ, I kicked him in the face!” Heartbreak protested.

“Hey! We are not on nickname terms yet! An ah told ya that he was just fine! We pony folk are a lot tougher than ya think!” Applejack replied.

“Yes! I get that! But I was just showing concern! Where I’m from, we’re not exactly that, ‘tough.’ There are a thousand things that can kill us! Including a horse hoof or horse shoe to the face!” Heartbreak exclaimed.

“Concern nothing! When ah came near that window and this here door, what ah heard was a grade A, double quality, high set up rearing for some serious hanky-pankying there miss!” Applejack shouted back.

“Please stop calling me, ‘mis-,’” Heartbreak looked confused. “Wait...-you- know what, ‘hanky-panky,’ is?”

“As sure as sugar ah do! And that there was the start of it!” Applejack said, thinking that she had finally caught her in her own web.

Suddenly, Heartbreak’s face drooped. “You thought-that we were-You thought that Big Mac and I were-” her face twisted and she covered her mouth. “GARBAGE!”

“Like hay is that garbage! I heard it with ma very own ears that you couldn’t fit those apples in yer-” Applejack just then noticed that Heartbreak had made a dash for the waste basket. “Now hold-” Before she could finish her sentence, she was greeted with the ever so lovely sounds of somepony emptying the contents of their stomach. Heartbreak was muzzle first and nearly holding the garbage can. A green flush was rolling over her face. “A-a-are ya ok there, Sugarcube?”

“Y-y-you thought that I was...” Heartbreak herked and struggled to swallow. “With -your- brother?!”

“Well...ah could have been wrong here, but from the window and kitchen door things were looking mighty suggestive,” Applejack replied, her stance softening.

Heartbreak blinked and her face curdled. “Applejack!” she turned sickly green again. This was followed by another bout of coughing and gagging into the trash can. Heartbreak pulled herself away from it and wiped her chin. There were tears rolling down her cheeks from the event. “Darn good waste of apples and apple butter,” She muttered, after a few more coughs.

Applejack walked over, pausing only for a moment to see the contents of the garbage. The rather unpleasant smell of vomit hit A.J.’s nose. “Really it was, what with the talk of apple si-”

“Applejack, Stop. Just stop, alright?” She shook her head in attempt to remove the soured expression and took a deep breath as she gathered her thoughts. “Right, let’s start this over, because I am rather sick of exploding about stupid things.” She frowned. “Alright, that conversation, if taken out of context, could sound rather...terrible.” Heartbreak shuddered and turned to look at Applejack. “But why were you even thinking about this to begin with!?”

Applejack shrugged and looked to her side. “Like ah said, it seemed that ya were faunin’ over ma brother a lil’ too much after ya kicked him and so then...Ah mean, yer name is ‘Heartbreak’ and ya haven’t given us much ta work with other than ya being here because yer exes bucked ya here!” She gave her a funny look. “Then there’s just how many exes ya had...”

Heartbreak’s left eye started to twitch. “That’s why you were pushing the subject back up on the hill.” She glared at Applejack. “Look, Applejack, just because I have been -renamed-, ‘Heartbreak,’ doesn’t mean anything!” Applejack looked like she was about to say something. “And-And! Just because I have had more than the socially accepted number of broken relationships here in Equestria doesn’t mean anything either!” Heartbreak took a deep breath and muttered. “There is a better way, there is a better way, there is-”

“There is a better wa-” Applejack began to ask.

“Let me finish my thought. I am really, really, really trying hard to not be snarky, crabby, rude, or a ...Gilda.” Heartbreak looked up and sniffed hard. After wiping her eyes from any tears, she took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. “So. Let’s start over -again- and pretend that we’re just meeting for the first time. Hi, I’m H.B. and you’re A.J. It is very nice to meet you. I’m new here in Equestria, so please treat me like such. Now that we have that out of the way: I am going to be rather straightforward in regards to this awkward situation. I didn’t mean for you to hear what you heard.” She grimaced and frowned. “Nor did I try to inflame your imagination into producing such...images. But the important thing is this, and I hope it puts your mind at ease: I’m not interested in your brother.”

“Alright, normally ah’d be askin’ if yer were sure about that...” She eyed the garbage can. “But, actions tend ta speak louder than words.”

“Thank you.” She coughed and cleared her throat. “I would even go as far as to say that I am not nor will I ever be, interested in anyp-p-pony like that. Ever.”

“Well that’s-” Applejack found herself caught off guard by this statement. “What? Hold up, ah don’t think ya have been in Equestria long enough ta make that there assessment.”

Heartbreak’s face fell. “Look Applejack. I just don’t see myself with anyp-p-ponies like that. Alright? I don’t like any of you like that, nor will I like any of you like that.”

“What? What’s wrong with us ponies?” Applejack asked.

“Nothing! I’m just not interested in any of you like that. I’m not attracted to ponies,” Heartbreak replied.

“Ah hate ta break it ta ya, sugarcube. But ya are a pony now. Ya might one-” Applejack started.

“No! Good Gaia! Applejack! I don’t want to have this conversation with you, alright? Plus, while,” Heartbreak pointed up and down at herself, “This might be a pony? Up here?” She tapped on her skull. “This up here? I’m quite sure isn’t. See these hooves?” She asked, waggling them at Applejack. “I still feel like there should be wiggy things on the ends of them meant for grasping!” she pointed at her tail. “This! This thing doesn’t feel like it belongs to me! It feels like some...prankster! Played, ‘pin-the-tail-on-the-pony,’ with me! And these ears! They don’t move because I want them to! They do all their actions ‘On.Their. Own.’ It really freaks me out! And don’t get me started on things like walking!”

“Alright! Alright! Ah get it!” Applejack replied backing away.

“I’m not just...broken emotionally, Applejack. I’m broken everywhere,” Heartbreak looked down. “They took me and shattered me to bits. Then they glued me back together without bothering to look and see if I was even put back together right.”

“Geeze, as much as ah sympathize with her problems, she is one depressin’ pony,” Applejack thought to herself. “Right. Tell ya what, taday? Ah think we’ve done enough bucking.” She looked at the time. Almost quarter after three already!? “An’ everythin’ else? Clean slate.”

“Does that mean-” Heartbreak started.

“Ah don’t know what happened between you and Twi’. After all, when I checked in on her back at the library, she seemed ta be making up a list of things that she thought ya needed. Ah don’t even know what happened between you and Mac. But ah’m not going ta go and make assumptions for events that ah wasn’t there fer.” Applejack’s face turned stern. “With that said, ah expect ya to be better behaved, especially with ma cousin coming over tamarrow. Today is a clean slate. Tamarrow is a different matter. Ya understand?”

“Yes.” She looked up in a pleading manner. “A.J.?”

Applejack sighed. “A.J. for now. But ya slip up?”

“I understand. Though, I think it would be best if I did sleep in the barn tonight.” Applejack looked at Heartbreak strangely. “While you say things are okay, I’m not terribly sure about that. Plus, I’m pretty sure that I spooked your brother pretty badly back on the hill,” She explained, walking toward the stairs. “I’m going to go upstairs, nap for a while, maybe draw. You should really check and see if your brother is alright.”

Applejack gave Heartbreak a concerned look. “With a pony like that, ah’m not sure them nine even needed ta bother punishing her...she almost does it pretty well on her own,” she thought before she went looking for her brother.

==============================================================

Big Mac looked around the barn cautiously. He checked under the haystacks, behind the tools and in other nooks and crannies. There was a slightly panicked expression alit his face. Relief came when he spotted a little grey cloth ear from behind one of the hay stacks. He reached forward and pulled the little doll from its hiding place. Smarty Pants was safe. He nuzzled his little friend.

“Macintosh?” Applejack’s voice caused her brother to jump and whiny in surprise. “Whoa! Uhm, sorry there bro.” She bowed her head and looked at him with concern. He pushed his muzzle into the hay.

“It’s ok, Applejack,” Big Mac replied.

Applejack took a deep breath, she wasn’t sure what to expect or what Heartbreak had done to spook her brother. “So, ah’m sure that ah got some explaining ta do about my reactin’ back there in the kitchen, don’t ah?”

“Eeeyup,” Big Mac replied.

She stepped into the barn. “Wow, uhm, Ah really never thought ah would have ta have a talk like this with ya, bro. Ah mean, ya keep ta yerself and ya barely leave the farm...”

Big Mac looked his sister in confusion. “What?”

“Right, sorry, Ah’m making assumptions about things, again. Let me start over.” Applejack wrung her hat a bit. “Ah’m sorry for leavin ya up there alone with Heartbreak, Ah guess ah just panicked a bit and wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s alright, Applejack. No harm done,” Big Mac replied.

“It’s just that, with the way she was acting, and what ah know about her...Ah was worried that she was...uhm well, ya know what ah mean right?” Applejack asked.

Big Mac looked at his sister oddly and then though for a moment. “Nope.”

“Alright, yeah,” Applejack took a deep breath. “Right, let me start over. Heartbreak has a bit of a history...with relationships. Or so ah have been told. An when she started acting all concerned like, ma imagination started to get the better of me. An ah started imaginin’ rather,” Applejack coughed, “Adult things.”

Big Mac looked at his sister in shock and surprise. “A.J.!”

“Hey now, we’re both perfectly reasonable an,” She paused, “Responsible adults here. And what happens between adults, happens between adults. An’m not ju-”

“A.J.!” Big Mac put a hoof up to interrupt his sister and walked over to her. “Look, ah don’t know what was goin’ on through your mind and ah’m sure that it’s better that way!” He took a deep breath. “But really!”

“It’s just that ah’m just worried about her an’ you, an’-” Applejack started stammering frustratedly.

“A.J., you know me better than that. Ah’m your brother, what’s more, Granny Smith has raised us better than that. The two of us just met! Ah know nothin’ about her.” Big Mac stated as calmly as he could.

Applejack looked away from her brother. “Ah know, it was just that-”

He put a hoof on his sister’s shoulder. “A.J., you’re starting to repeat yourself. Look. You said it yerself. Ah’m not the type to be introducin’ maself to anypony like that, let alone a mare, whether Ah know her or not.” He explained in a soft melodious tone. “Shucks, the only reason Cherry Lee an’ me ever went chasin’ after one another was ‘cause Applebloom and her friends went and drugged us up.”

Applejack sighed. “Ah guess ah was letting ma imagination run away with me and making assumptions, when ah should have been asking questions.” She looked at her brother. “Ya sure yer not havin’ any feelings fer her?” She asked in a teasing manner.

Big Mac chuckled a bit. “Ah know better than ta go chasing after weird mares like that. And that mare is just too weird.”

“Ah right. Ah guess enough fussing has been done over ya two an’ ma worries. Best getting back to the real task in front of us and get that apple harvest done!” Applejack said smiling, and walking towards the barn door.

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac replied. He paused for a moment. “Though, there is one thing ah have to know, AJ...”

Applejack paused halfway to the barn door. “What’s that?” She asked.

“How’d she know about Smartie Pants?” Big Mac asked.

Comments

[KMCA]

A-Whoops, HB lets another unknowable fact squeak out.

[Jet_Black1980]

1452125 Which fact is that?

[KMCA]

1452147 Why Big Mac X Smarty Pants.

[Jet_Black1980]

1452159 Oooooh yeeeeeah. She might be paying for that later...

[KMCA]

1452165 You know I wish I'd started a betting pool for when HB gets outted as a male. By this point I I'm sure I would have made some money.

[NaughtSought]

Big Mac's not the type to be introducing himself to anypony like that, let alone a mare.....

I understood this all to wrongly. And for that I am sorry. Please forgive me JB and BM and Brain.

[Dream Weaver]

And Smarty Pants hides in the barn...smart one...tryin to keep a close eye on H.B.

[auraravager]

dear princess Celestia,
today i learned that you should never judge somepony until you know all the facts or else you can hurt them and anypony around them

[Turai]

1453150

Nah she didn't learn anything this time either.

Enjoyed the chapter, been waiting for this one after you left us on a semi cliffhanger (or whatever you wanna call it).

Puking in the garbage was a cute touch.

[ANTIcarrot]

“Yes! I get that! But I was just showing concern! Where I’m from, we’re not exactly that, ‘tough.’ There are a thousand things that can kill us! Including a horse hoof or horse shoe to the face!” Heartbreak exclaimed.
Called it.

“What? What’s wrong with us ponies?” Applejack asked.
Well that was a rather extreme reaction from HB, and while I sympathise, as a furry I don't quite understand it. So I'm going to join Rainbow Dash over their as she laughs her shapely plot off.

Though... Hmm. That could easily work the other way round. If HB sees no difference in attractiveness between (say) Princess Celestia, and Queen Crysalis (both are vaguely pretty/visually striking) she could get away with some awesome trollings!

[TheGreatSako]

The incredibly awkward, highly amusing sexual-misconceptions were great fun while they lasted...

[Dark Colt Sabata]

With a pony like that, ah’m not sure them nine even needed ta bother punishing her...she almost does it pretty well on her own

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8cv2zpjKl1qegw8v.jpg

[websterhamster]

It's Cheerilee, not "Cherry Lee".

[Sintakhra]

3183091 I imagine it was only written like Cherry-Lee based on how his accent would have pronounced it. That being said Owlowiscious is misspelt frequently so *shrugs*

[Jet_Black1980]

3459213 Gamer cat!

[The Psychopath]

4746946 You cannot flee the cat-astrophe!

[CitrusWishes]

3459213 Actually, I'm pretty sure that's the correct spelling of Owloysius.