Starlight Glimmer was given an assignment; make a new friend all on her own. When the pressure starts getting to her, she runs into the most bizarre creature she's ever seen. It turns out, they have quite a bit in common.
Well, I think the story started pretty good. You kept me really interested through the second chapter and I loved the third one, especially compared to your usual "I understand why you attacked me" bullshit doormat human you always get.
But now, with the forth chapter, you just get better and got my fav and like.
They had purposely sent countless humans to their deaths by means of sending them to a demon prison, just because our scent makes their junk tingle. They better not reveal this, any possible reconciliation will be lost then, as far as anyone's concerned the "banished" were sent home.
It doesn't necessarily imply their deaths, and doesn't necessarily imply that all humans were innocent. The implications I had intended were that a lot of bad people took advantage of their seductive influence over the ponies to live like kings or queens.
And really, if humans can survive anywhere from deserts to tundra, I'm certain they could survive Tartarus.
So what I'm saying is that the humans native to Equestria still survive, just locked away in Tartartus, and that is where they were originally from anyway. They may be demons, but that doesn't make them all bad.
Just dropping a thought bomb here, due to something that was mentioned in the story and comments.
Humans from Earth (possibly alternate universe Earth) are considered demons of a sort. Humans have an ability to survive in most known environments through various means invented by humans. Tartarus is a practically hell for the ponies, Earth was hell for humans from day one that we have tamed over time. What if Tartarus is Earth and the legend's we know of about unicorn's, dragons and magic etc; are actually because the original humans were banished from Equestria (which is practically a Garden of Eden in comparison to Earth).
TL;DR I am crazy and story stuff stimulates my rather active and bizarre imagination. Thanks for quick update, what has developed has certainly thrown a wrench into my theory of where this was headed. Loving it <3
You know, that theory would make a lot of sense. The only problem is explaining Tirek. He was banished to Tartarus but escaped. Then again, old Greek legends do mention Centaurs a lot. Some were good and taught heroes (like Jason's mentor, from Jason and the Argonauts) while others were evil and fought heroes. And old Greek legends are where we get most of our stories about Pegasi. Hmm. Maybe you should write it?
This is an interesting story and i actually like how it's coming along. Besides Starlight and Lyra i can see Trixie also becoming his friend aswell Bon Bon despite her attitude she may also consider him as a friend especially if he stands for her and Lyra
Dayum son! I like to think I can come up with dark stuff for my story, (tho there are a few who I know are better than I) but this was... Fucking hell. A plus in my book. I know there's still one more chapter to read but I thought that this deserved a comment. I really hope you decide to continue this, as i see that it hasn't been updated in a while.
It's evidence of how thoroughly I enjoyed this story on first reading that I blew right by this:
"And thee believed it's deceptions?!" Luna asked in disbelief. "Have thee taken leave of thine senses, dearest sister? If thee hast, thee surely hast gone either mad or simple!"
"And thou didst believed it's deceptions?!" Luna asked in disbelief. "Hast thou taken leave of thine senses, dearest sister? If thou hast, surely thou hast gone either mad or simple!"
"This cannot be!" She exclaimed. "Did thee not ensure thine precious pupil was clean from bewitchment? If this foul demon has ensnared a Princess of the Realm-"
"This cannot be!" She exclaimed. "Didst thou not ensure thy precious pupil was clean from bewitchment? If this foul demon has ensnared a Princess of the Realm-"
After that revelation, Luna found her appetite had entirely abandoned her.
I'm an idiot. Why in the world do I always bookmark every quote, even when it's the last sentence of the chapter!?
Anyway, onward. I know that I have almost abandoned (or phased out, I guess) my first person comments for reasons of apparently people don't respect my attempts at having fun while also getting my point across. And by don't respect, I mean typically my comments get at least one dislike, no matter the content. At least, when they are first person. Or perhaps I'm just a really hateable writer.
But anyway, on to the main point... One that requires me to write as Blue Midnight to get across. Mainly because it deals with Ian Zairon, another character of mine... On second thought, no. I'm not going to risk my sanity trying to figure out what exactly makes people hate me so much again. It is unknowable and probably dosen't make sense anyway. The last time I tried, I gave up because In just not dumb enough to understand human stupidity...
...Yes I know I'm human too. I included myself in that as well. I may not be as dumb as most my age, but I am human and are therefore inherently stupid.
Anyway, the point of this rant is to say that I'm not going to give you my original point.
8130162
Your wish is granted.
Holy... All because they didn't know how to how to block their sweat
Well, this was sad as fuck... More chapters :3? Want to see just how bad (or good) this gets.
Not holding this against the sisters really. Especially considering what their sweat does and that no one knew how to stop it until now.
Well, I think the story started pretty good. You kept me really interested through the second chapter and I loved the third one, especially compared to your usual "I understand why you attacked me" bullshit doormat human you always get.
But now, with the forth chapter, you just get better and got my fav and like.
Celestia has wronged the human race, time to pull a Dan vs.
CELESTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Well, that's a bit of unsettling news...
They had purposely sent countless humans to their deaths by means of sending them to a demon prison, just because our scent makes their junk tingle. They better not reveal this, any possible reconciliation will be lost then, as far as anyone's concerned the "banished" were sent home.
8130564
The royal sisters wiped them out.
... all of them.
Oh ouch...
That is not friendly.
If I was that guy I'd be all over Discord to be sent back. Fuck pony land when they just kill you on sight.
8130647
It doesn't necessarily imply their deaths, and doesn't necessarily imply that all humans were innocent. The implications I had intended were that a lot of bad people took advantage of their seductive influence over the ponies to live like kings or queens.
And really, if humans can survive anywhere from deserts to tundra, I'm certain they could survive Tartarus.
So what I'm saying is that the humans native to Equestria still survive, just locked away in Tartartus, and that is where they were originally from anyway. They may be demons, but that doesn't make them all bad.
Man.
Just dropping a thought bomb here, due to something that was mentioned in the story and comments.
Humans from Earth (possibly alternate universe Earth) are considered demons of a sort. Humans have an ability to survive in most known environments through various means invented by humans. Tartarus is a practically hell for the ponies, Earth was hell for humans from day one that we have tamed over time. What if Tartarus is Earth and the legend's we know of about unicorn's, dragons and magic etc; are actually because the original humans were banished from Equestria (which is practically a Garden of Eden in comparison to Earth).
TL;DR I am crazy and story stuff stimulates my rather active and bizarre imagination.
Thanks for quick update, what has developed has certainly thrown a wrench into my theory of where this was headed. Loving it <3
8132316
You know, that theory would make a lot of sense. The only problem is explaining Tirek. He was banished to Tartarus but escaped. Then again, old Greek legends do mention Centaurs a lot. Some were good and taught heroes (like Jason's mentor, from Jason and the Argonauts) while others were evil and fought heroes. And old Greek legends are where we get most of our stories about Pegasi. Hmm. Maybe you should write it?
This story is getting better and better with every chapter.
8132728 Agreed, I'm getting chills
This is an interesting story and i actually like how it's coming along. Besides Starlight and Lyra i can see Trixie also becoming his friend aswell Bon Bon despite her attitude she may also consider him as a friend especially if he stands for her and Lyra
8132316
Thought bomb excepted!
Dayum son! I like to think I can come up with dark stuff for my story, (tho there are a few who I know are better than I) but this was... Fucking hell. A plus in my book. I know there's still one more chapter to read but I thought that this deserved a comment. I really hope you decide to continue this, as i see that it hasn't been updated in a while.
It's evidence of how thoroughly I enjoyed this story on first reading that I blew right by this:
"And thou didst believed it's deceptions?!" Luna asked in disbelief. "Hast thou taken leave of thine senses, dearest sister? If thou hast, surely thou hast gone either mad or simple!"
"This cannot be!" She exclaimed. "Didst thou not ensure thy precious pupil was clean from bewitchment? If this foul demon has ensnared a Princess of the Realm-"
Ye Olde English is rather hard on pronouns.
I'm an idiot. Why in the world do I always bookmark every quote, even when it's the last sentence of the chapter!?
Anyway, onward. I know that I have almost abandoned (or phased out, I guess) my first person comments for reasons of apparently people don't respect my attempts at having fun while also getting my point across. And by don't respect, I mean typically my comments get at least one dislike, no matter the content. At least, when they are first person. Or perhaps I'm just a really hateable writer.
But anyway, on to the main point... One that requires me to write as Blue Midnight to get across. Mainly because it deals with Ian Zairon, another character of mine... On second thought, no. I'm not going to risk my sanity trying to figure out what exactly makes people hate me so much again. It is unknowable and probably dosen't make sense anyway. The last time I tried, I gave up because In just not dumb enough to understand human stupidity...
...Yes I know I'm human too. I included myself in that as well. I may not be as dumb as most my age, but I am human and are therefore inherently stupid.
Anyway, the point of this rant is to say that I'm not going to give you my original point.
8132316
Headcanon accepted.