Discord's New Business
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires
Customer 8: Princess Luna
All characters copyrighted to their original owners. If you like what you see, please support me on Patreon!
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Ponyville...
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“Ah, Princess Luna!” Discord said, bowing grandly. “Forgive the lack of fanfare, for I was not expecting a royal visit.”
Luna chuckled, landing next to Discord and adjusting the plain saddlebags she wore. “Cease thy japes, we come to partake of your business,” she said.
Discord blinked, and grinned. “Very well,” he said. “What can I do for you?”
Luna, ignoring the others bowing around her, said, “We have thought about this long and hard, and have decided that we would like to be a zebra.”
Discord blinked. “Huh...” he said. “That's well within your own transformation abilities, I'd say.”
Luna nodded. “Yes. However, the sycophants of Canterlot have learned how to detect when my sister and I are in disguise. You, on the other hoof, are a relative unknown to them,” she said.
Discord grinned. “Looking to go incognito for a while?” he asked.
Luna nodded. “There have been numerous reports of discrimination in businesses amongst certain areas of Canterlot, both tribalism and racism,” she said. “We wish to investigate this, and punish the malefactors responsible for such arrogance.”
Discord nodded. “Interesting...” he said. “Very well then. Zebraluna it is.”
Luna nodded. Before she could do anything else, Discord pressed down on her horn, which descended into her head. She staggered around dizzily, but before the dehorned alicorn could do anything, Discord picked her up and shook her like a violently, her feathers flying off as her wings disappeared.
“I'm gonna throw up...” Luna said, her head bobbing back and forth in Discord's grasp. The draconequus wasn't done, however. He tore a strip of Luna's cutie mark off, and then YANKED as hard as he could, sending Luna spinning so fast until she became a blur, magic swirling around her.
When she landed, dazed and confused, she had become a female zebra. Slightly smaller than Zecora, with a mohawk that trailed down into a hairtail. Her tail was now shorter, more whiplike, and her fur was now black and white striped. Discord took Luna's cutie mark and put it back on, although it now resembled a moon version of the sun design Zecora had.
“Ungh... Did you have to do it that way?” Luna muttered.
“No,” Discord said, amused.
“Of course not,” Luna muttered, gagging a little as she tried not to vomit.
“Will Suntush be handling the moon for your little vacation day?” Discord asked.
Luna nodded. “We have made all proper arrangements,” she said.
“Well, there you go,” Discord said. “Zebraluna be you for the next twenty-four hours. Why not a thestral, though?”
“Recently, my thestrals discovered and dismantled a pony trafficking ring. They have been enjoying an upswing in popularity lately,” Luna said. “It is now 'in' to be nice to thestrals. No, to discover where bigotry is going on, I must be a true minority in Canterlot.”
“Hm,” Discord said. “True, true... Honestly, I don't see many zebras in Equestria at all, really.”
“Which disappoints me that we are not more welcoming,” Luna said. “Zebrica is a country rich in culture and stories...” She shook her head. “Anyway, I must be off.”
“Good luck,” Discord said. “And be careful.”
Luna nodded, moving to pick up her saddlebags, which fell off during her transformation, with magic she didn't have anymore. Chuckling a little, she picked them up normally, sliding her nose underneath the strap and tossing it back. She trotted to the train station, and went back to Canterlot, buying a new ticket. She arrived back at the Canterlot station with little incident, and Luna took a deep breath to calm herself.
“All right,” she said. “Let's do this.”
She started her journey heading for someplace familiar. Donut Joe's was fairly close to the station, and her sister had spoken often of the shop, always with glowing praise. She herself had been there a few times, sometimes with Celestia.
She shouldered her way inside, looking around. The alicorn-turned-zebra smiled at the simple décor, including pictures of various famous ponies. In a place of honor was an autographed picture of Celestia and Luna sharing a plate of donuts, giving Donut Joe a hug.
Luna smiled. She remembered that particular incident. It was the night her magic fully returned, restoring her to full glory. Celestia had wanted to celebrate.
“Hey there!” said Donut Joe from the counter. “I know it smells good, but it smells even better from up close.”
Luna, startled out of her memories, giggled and went over to the counter. “Of course,” she said. “My apologies.”
“Don't get too many zebras in Canterlot,” Donut Joe said. “Would you get offended if I offered you our peanut-butter filled and caramel striped donuts? On sale today.”
Luna smiled. “I would not. I'll take three,” she said, scooping some bits out of her saddlebags.
“Thank ya much,” Donut Joe said, taking the money and levitating a paper plate over with the donuts. “Hope you enjoy.”
Luna took the plate in her mouth, thanking Donut Joe and heading for a table to eat. As she ate, a businesspony unicorn came up to her. “Hi!” he said, smiling pleasantly. “Mind if I sit with you?”
Luna shook her head, eating her donuts contentedly.
The businesspony smiled. “Name's Cash Grab,” he said. He pulled the long coat aside, revealing his cutie mark, a calculator. “I'm an accountant.”
“Kamaria,” Luna said, using the Zebrahili word for 'moon.' “I am simply visiting. I specialize in dream therapy.”
Cash Grab nodded. “Pretty name,” Cash Grab said. “I heard that zebras speak in rhyme, though.”
Luna shook her head. “No. It's a bit complicated,” she said, “but only those of a special class of shaman speak in rhyme. They have to, because of the magic they wield.” She took a bite of her donuts. “I have not met her personally, but I have heard there is one of that class who lives near Ponyville.”
Cash Grab cringed. “Eesh, Ponyville. Nice place, but too weird for me,” he said. “Anyway. Dream therapy. You have a psychology degree, then?”
“Not one from here. Amongst my people, I am accredited as a therapist, but it wouldn't hold water here in Equestria,” she said. Which was technically true, as Luna had learned much about dreamwalking from the zebras back in the old days. “I'm thinking about applying to a college here. I've heard they're quite good,” Luna said.
Cash Grab shook his head, tsking. “You'd have better luck in Manehattan, Miss Kamaria,” he said. “Colleges here tend to look to see if your head has a point on it before considering you.”
Luna frowned. “That... doesn't sound fair,” she said.
“It's not,” Cash Grab said. “It's why I got my accounting degree in Manehattan University. Too much 'revisionist history' in the schools here. Oh, Canterlot's getting better. Restaurant Row no longer serves the same miniscule crap at every shop, for one, but it's slow going. And even with Celestia insisting on reforms, ponies are stubborn on sticking to the old ways.”
Luna frowned again. “...Still, I have heard lots of good things about Canterlot,” she said. “Perhaps there is some good to be found here?”
Cash Grab traded a knowing look with Donut Joe, who just shook his head in sad amusement. “I like your optimism, Kamaria,” Cash Grab said. “I think it's misplaced, but I like it. I wish you luck.”
Luna frowned, but nodded, bidding Cash Grab farewell as he finished his coffee and left. She finished her own donuts and left as well, deciding to check out some of her favorite shops. She had the money, she could probably pick up some presents for Celestia while she was out.
Heading to one of Canterlot's fancier districts, she nodded in polite greeting to the ponies she passed. Some of them nodded back, smiling pleasantly. Others, she noticed, looked oddly offended at her presence. She shifted uncomfortably, reminded of the time after she first returned from the moon.
Spotting her favorite jewelry store, she went inside and began to browse. “Let's see... I know my sister likes amber...”
As she looked through the store, she became aware that one of the clerks was following her, a suspicious look on her face. When she looked over at the clerk, she frowned. “Is there something the matter?”
“Is there?” the clerk asked.
“I'm just browsing,” Luna protested.
“Yes, well, I'm not sure we'd have anything you'd like here,” the clerk, a bluish unicorn, said, scowling.
“And what if I'm shopping for a friend?” Luna said.
“My response stands,” the clerk said.
Luna sighed, and shook her head. She went back to browsing, only for the clerk to keep following her. “I'm not going to steal anything. I have money, enough to buy something here.”
“Again,” the clerk said, “I don't think we have anything you'd like here. Ma'am. I think it best if you'd just leave. You're making the other customers uncomfortable.”
Luna looked around. There were indeed two other customers, but they were looking uneasily at the clerk. “It seems you are the one making the customers uncomfortable, ma'am,” Luna said, scowling.
“If you insist on causing a scene, I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave,” the clerk said.
Luna stared, aghast. “I'm just shopping! Can't I just shop?” she demanded.
“Do I have to call the guards?” the clerk said, her eyes narrowing.
“All right!” Luna said, scowling. “I'll leave. But you've lost yourself a rather prominent customer.”
“Of course,” the clerk said, watching Luna carefully as she left.
As she left the store, Luna muttered to herself. “Well, that could have gone better...” She decided to try her favorite restaurant, a Neightallian place in the same district. She passed a mirror in a fashion shop and paused, noticing herself for the first time.
“Huh,” Luna said, looking herself over. She'd never really stopped to look at herself since her transformation. She really did look quite fetching. An elegant striped pattern, a tall mohawk, her cutie mark in the striped, exotic zebra style... She giggled. “If nothing else, I look good as a zebra.”
Humming to herself, she went over to the restaurant. It was open air, and didn't require reservations. She trotted up to it, only to be intercepted by the headwaiter.
She frowned. “Is there something wrong?” she asked, pretending not to know him.
“Madame,” the waiter said in a haughty, faux-Prench accent. In other circumstances, she found his attempts at faking culture amusing. Not today, though. “I believe you are in the wrong place.”
Luna scowled. “I just want to get something to eat,” she said.
“And I have no objections to that,” the waiter said. “Restaurant Row has many fine dining establishments. And lower standards.”
“'Standards?'” Luna asked, incredulous.
“Indeed,” the waiter said. “We are a high class establishment. As such, we have high class guests. One of your... persuasion... would be sorely out of place.”
Luna glared at him. The waiter glared right back. “If you have something to say,” Luna said, “then say it.”
“You will not be served under any circumstances. Go back to the tourist block, where you belong, you striped bimbo,” the waiter said, slamming the door to the restaurant's inner lobby in her face.
Luna stared, shocked. “...Sister said that she detested the higher class areas of Canterlot,” she said softly. “I had no idea that it was this bad, though...” She shook her head. “Palace life has spoiled me.”
She continued to walk through the higher class part of Canterlot, getting rebuffed in many different ways. “Come to think of it...” Luna muttered. “I have never seen a zebra in Canterlot before...”
As she walked, she passed Fancy Pants, Upper Crust, and Jet Set having a conversation at a cafe. Jet Set noticed Luna walking by, and chuckled. “Watch this. I heard this from some youngsters the other day,” he said to Upper Crust and Fancy Pants. “Hey, Miss?”
Luna turned, surprised. “Yes? Were you speaking to me?”
Jet Set smirked. “Stupidretardsayswhat?” he said quickly.
“What?” Luna asked, confused. Upper Crust and Jet Set laughed. It took Luna a moment to get what they said. When she did, she scowled. However...
“What are you two, twelve?” Fancy Pants said, giving the two snobby unicorns a disgusted look. “Come to think of it, it's not funny at twelve, either...” He went over to Luna, and gave her an apologetic look. “I do apologize, Miss. Please believe me when I say that they do not represent the majority of unicorn kind.” Fancy ignored the indignant looks Upper Crust and Jet Set gave him.
Luna smiled. She had met Fancy Pants before, and knew full well of his kindness. But for the sake of her disguise, she pretended this was their first meeting. “Thank you... I've not had many good encounters today,” she said. “My name is Kamaria.”
“Lovely name. Means 'moon,' if I'm not mistaken?” Fancy Pants said. When Luna nodded, he smiled. “Excellent. My name is Fancy Pants, and it's a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Luna said, grinning.
“Listen, to make up for it,” Fancy Pants said, levitating out a card with his address on it, “why don't you come to my place tonight? My wife and I would love to have you over as a guest.”
Luna grinned. Fancy Pants was indeed one of the kindest ponies in Canterlot. “I would like that, thank you,” she said.
Fancy Pants nodded. “Shall I escort you somewhere, my dear?”
Luna shook her head. “I wish to explore on my own some more,” she said. “I do appreciate the offer, though.”
Fancy Pants nodded. “Then I hope we shall see you tonight,” he said.
“Indeed,” Luna said, smiling, the two going their separate ways. Fancy Pants cast another glare at Jet Set and Upper Crust, who didn't notice, the two glaring at Luna as she left in the opposite direction.
“Oh no you don't,” Jet Set muttered. “Time to go to work...”
Upper Crust nodded. “Sorry, Fancy, but it's time to protect you from yourself again...”
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That evening...
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Luna sighed. She'd found SOME shops that would serve her in the high class area of Canterlot, but she had mostly been rebuffed most of the day. “Well, this experiment has yielded results, at least...” she muttered. “I will discuss them with sister on the morrow.” She took out the card Fancy gave her, and hmmed thoughtfully. “Well... it would be a good way to end the evening...”
“Miss?” said a voice. Luna turned, seeing a guard in an alleyway. “Would you come here for a second?”
Luna frowned. “What's wrong?” she said as she walked over to him.
“There's been a string of assaults on non-ponies in Canterlot recently,” the guardsman said, the white unicorn smiling pleasantly. “I just wanted to ask you a few questions, make sure you were all right.”
Luna nodded. “Assaults on non-ponies... That's bad indeed... I thank you for your concern, guardsman.”
The guardsman nodded. “Of course,” he said. “It's our duty to keep Canterlot's streets free of filth.”
Luna frowned. Something about the way he said that... She paused.
The guard frowned. “Ma'am? Is something wrong?” he asked.
“I... Actually, I'm fine... I think I will be on my way,” Luna said nervously. She was dearly missing her wings and horn now.
The guard smirked a little. “Don't you want to help in preventing another assault?”
Luna smiled uneasily. “I am but one zebra. How can I help?”
“Oh that's easy,” the guardsman said. “You can serve as a message to other non-ponies to stay out of Canterlot and stop polluting the greatest city in the world with your presence.”
Stars blossomed behind Luna's eyes as she was struck from behind, falling to her knees. Two more guards, one of them carrying the club that struck her, picked her up and dragged her into the alley. Hooves stomped down on her, pounding her ruthlessly. She felt her ribs crack beneath the pummeling, blood gushing from her mouth. A hoof struck her face, her eye swelling shut.
“Careful now,” said a voice she recognized. “Not too much. Anything more severe and the other guards will actually investigate. She still has to walk out of here, you know.”
The guards stopped beating her, and held her up. Luna groggily looked over, and saw Jet Set and Upper Crust saunter into the alleyway, smirking.
“It's nothing personal,” Upper Crust said. “Well, not entirely. But you see... Fancy Pants doesn't know what's best for him. Associating with inferior tribes and races...” She tsked, shaking her head sadly.
“That's where we come in,” Jet Set said. “I've gathered a few like-minded, intelligent individuals, and together we make sure that the Elite of Canterlot stay Elite, without doing anything to bring themselves down. We are the Canterlot Janitorial Service.”
Luna, despite the pain she was in, gave the two snobs an incredulous look. Upper Crust giggled. “Surprised that nobility would name their group something so menial? Really, it's the only thing that fits.”
“Fancy will think that you simply changed your mind,” Jet Set said. “As for you... Heh. Well, you won't even remember this day. A simple memory charm, and you won't even remember our faces. We'll dump you off at the hospital, with a suggestion planted in you not to ever come back to Canterlot. Just as we have with the eighteen before you.” His horn began to glow.
Luna glowered at him. “You have... made two major mistakes...” she said, coughing up blood.
Jet Set chuckled, the glow to his horn fading. “Oh really, little stripes? What were those mistakes, hm?”
Luna sneered. “One was telling me your scheme...” she said, wincing at the pain in her chest. “The other... was MONOLOGUING instead of casting the charm.” Luna may not have been in her body, but she still had all the skills she had gained throughout her long, immortal life. She wrenched her foreleg free of the guard holding it, and punched the other guard holding her as hard as she could, knocking him away. She turned and ran, dashing out of the alleyway.
“STOP HER, YOU FOOLS!” Jet Set bellowed.
The guards chased after Luna, the desperate, wheezing zebra silently glad that they chose not to break her legs. She had to find some measure of safety. Ducking behind a trash dumpster after managing to get ahead of them, she huddled down, shivering fearfully.
Oh, how they would pay once she had her normal magic back. Thanks to Discord's spell, she had the basic knowledge of zebra spiritual magic, but she wasn't in any position to use it to defend herself...
The guards, along with Jet Set and Upper Crust, rushed by her. She sighed in relief and peeked out, looking for a better place to hide.
“Good heavens, Miss!” said a voice, making Luna jump in surprise. Luna turned, and saw Fancy Pants and his wife, Fleur Dis Lee, in a nearby carriage. Both of them looked concerned. “Whatever happened to you?”
Luna started to speak, when she heard the guards coming around the corner again. “Please...” Luna said. “Lord Fancy Pants. You have to claim right of Sanctuary over me. Those guards... your friends from earlier... They assaulted me, breaking my ribs... And the male planned to use a memory charm on me, make me forget the day.”
Fancy Pants blinked. “Jet Set? Crusty? I knew they didn't like non-ponies in Canterlot, but still...”
The guards, Jet Set, and Upper Crust came up to the carriage, Luna shivering and pressing herself up against it.
“I say,” Fancy Pants said, “What's going on?”
“Fancy Pants, let us handle this,” Upper Crust said. “It's for your own good!”
Jet Set nodded. “She's a zebra. She can't be trusted. Just let us take her, and...”
“In what way does race determine one's trustworthiness, hm?” Fancy said, his eyes narrowing.
“Sir, please move on,” one of the guards said. “This is a royal guard matter. This woman is a criminal, and needs to be taken in.”
Fancy scowled. “...I don't believe you,” he said. “Fleur, help Kamaria into the carriage.” The tall, elegant unicorn nodded, gently levitating her into the carriage with them.
“Sir, you can't...” another guard started.
“I claim right of Sanctuary,” Fancy said. “I do not believe her guilty of anything, so I invoke my right as a noble to keep her safe.”
The guards flinched. “WHAT!?” Jet Set shouted.
“Sir, it's an actual thing,” one of the guards said. “We learned about it in the academy. It hasn't been invoked in years, though...”
“Driver, go!” Fancy said, the nervous pony driving the carriage more than happy to move on.
Upper Crust scowled. “I don't understand. Why didn't you go after them?” she said after the carriage had left.
“Once Sanctuary is invoked,” one of the guards explained, “we can't legally touch her. The only ones who can break a Sanctuary are the Princesses.”
Jet Set sneered. “Then we'll just have to get Princess Celestia involved, now shall we? I know for a fact that she's not taking any audiences today, save for an emergency.” He smirked at the guards. “I think a zebra assaulting a noble would be an emergency, don't you?”
Before either the guards or Upper Crust could react, Jet Set took the club one of the guards was carrying and struck himself in the face three times, wincing as the third blow drew blood. He grinned savagely. “Now... to the palace.”
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Meanwhile...
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Fleur was wiping Luna's battered face with a cloth. “Poor dear... what did those brutes do to you?” she said.
“I still can't believe Jet Set would be in on such business... I knew he was a fool, I didn't know he was villainous...” Fancy Pants said, shaking his head.
“I am sorry about your friend,” Luna said. “But he is responsible for several assaults on non-ponies, all for the purpose of keeping Canterlot 'pure.'” She explained what she heard, the anger on Fancy's face growing, as Fleur grew more and more horrified.
“How could anypony do such things?” Fleur said softly.
Fancy was fuming, his mustache bristling in anger. “Once again it is proven that applying the term 'nobility' to those born of high blood is a GRAND mislabeling...”
Luna smiled. “You need just keep me safe for the next few hours,” she said. “Then this will be resolved.”
“How do you mean?” Fleur asked.
“I am Princess Luna,” Luna said. “I asked Discord to transform me into a zebra for twenty-four hours, so I could investigate the growing reports of bigotry in Canterlot. The spell will end automatically after the full twenty-four hours.”
Fleur and Fancy gave her a disbelieving look. Luna smirked. “At the last soiree of yours I attended, Tia and I, in private, jokingly asked you which of us had the more attractive posterior.”
Fancy blushed brightly, as Fleur gave her husband an amused look. “Yes... well...” Fancy stammered.
Luna grinned. “Never seen someone teleport that fast before...” she said.
Fancy gave her an exasperated look. “Well, you can understand my desire to flee from that circumstance...” he muttered. “All right, I believe you. But why have that troublemaker change you?”
“My own magical signature would be recognized by the sycophants of this city,” Luna said. “They are learning the disguises Tia and I take. I wished to see Canterlot's face without the mask of civility it wears for us. I had no idea it was this bad, though...”
Fleur shifted uncomfortably. “...While Fancy Pants and I do support your and your sister's policies, there has been a growing sense of unrest.”
Luna frowned. “Oh?”
Fancy sighed. “The changelings,” he said simply. “There is a lot of bitterness all across Canterlot since the invasion. And while I understand the reason why you asked us all to accept them, and have since made friends with changelings... The memory of the wedding invasion still lingers...”
Luna winced. “Perhaps it is for the best on multiple levels that this day has occurred, then,” she said. “I confess to have come to the realization that palace life may have spoiled my sister and I, detaching us from the ponies around us.”
“While it is not the most pleasant experience,” Fancy said, smiling, “all we can do with life is learn from it. Use what we learn throughout the days to educate ourselves and become better ponies.”
Luna smiled. “You are truly wise, Fancy Pants,” she said.
The driver stopped. “Sir, we're home,” he said.
Fancy nodded. “Thank you,” he said. To Luna, he asked, “Will you be all right?”
“Ribs still hurt,” Luna said. “But we are fine to get out, I think. Be prepared for a visit from my sister.”
Fleur blinked. “Princess Celestia? Why?”
Fancy frowned. “Because the only thing that can break a Sanctuary is the word of a princess...” he said. “It makes sense that Jet would go to her... All right. Let's get inside and get you patched up.”
The trio went inside, giving the carriage driver the rest of the night off. Luna was given healing magic and basic first aid, her ribs bandaged. Almost an hour passed, a tense, silent time, before the front door bell rung.
Fancy and Fleur traded uneasy looks, Fancy's horn flaring as he opened the door to let in his visitors.
Celestia, flanked on either side by Jet Set, Upper Crust, and the three guards from earlier, all entered the main hall. Jet Set was faking being dizzy, his head bandaged. He leaned on Upper Crust slightly, the guards remaining stoic. A sad, slightly disappointed smile was on Celestia's face.
“Lord Fancy Pants,” Celestia said.
Fleur and Fancy bowed. “Welcome to our abode, your highness,” Fancy said. Luna did not bow, she simply watched carefully.
Celestia glanced briefly at Luna, without recognizing her. To Fancy, she said, “Lord Jet Set was assaulted earlier. Upper Crust says it was the zebra you now are giving Sanctuary to, and these guards have the same story.”
Fancy nodded. “So they say,” he said.
Celestia sighed. “Lord Fancy Pants, I must ask you to surrender the zebra for trial. And proper treatment of her injuries, it looks like.”
“I will not,” Fancy said firmly.
Celestia frowned. “Lord Fancy Pants... There is ample evidence against this zebra...”
“This isn't a zebra. It's your sister,” Fancy said, smirking a little.
Jet Set, Upper Crust, and the guards gave Fancy an incredulous look. Celestia blinked, confused. “I... I'm sorry?”
“Tia,” Luna said. “Do you remember the story 'Goodnight Moon?' How much I loved it?”
Celestia's eyes widened. “Y-Yes... Because it was the first thing mother gave you that wasn't a hoof-me-down from me...”
Luna smiled wistfully. “It was the first thing that was truly mine... I still remember it to this day, word for word... and it was one of my only comforts during my exile, even in the madness of the Nightmare...”
Jet Set suddenly realized what was happening, his eyes widening in fright. He motioned, and he, Upper Crust, and the three guards began slowly backing away.
Tears were in Celestia's eyes. “Oh Luna, I...” And then she paused, taking in Luna's appearance for the first time. The bandaged ribs. The blood on her striped coat. The swollen shut eye.
Celestia turned, her eyes glowing black. Her mane and tail lost all color, becoming swirling black voids that twisted inward. Light seemed to be absorbed into her as she glared at Jet Set and his minions with star-crushing rage.
“You. Hurt. My. Sister,” she said softly. So intense was the force of her anger that she had become a gravity well, Jet Set, Upper Crust, and the guards being drawn towards her.
Fancy, Fleur, and Luna were being drawn towards her as well. “Sister...” Luna said, alarmed.
“You. Hurt. My. Sister,” Celestia said again, her expression murderous. As much as they tried to run, the guards and the two corrupt nobles couldn't escape the gravity well generated by the force of Celestia's all-consuming anger.
“Tia, please, calm down...” Luna said.
“It was them!” one of the guards said suddenly, pointing to Jet and Upper. “The whole thing was their idea! I was just in it for the money!”
“Please...” Jet begged. “We didn't know it was your sister!!”
“DO YOU HONESTLY THINK SAYING THAT HELPS YOUR CASE!?” Celestia bellowed, everypony else covering their ears as the sound shattered every window in the estate.
Fortunately, the sound of breaking glass also brought Celestia back to her senses. Her mane and tail became normal again, her eyes losing the ebon glow as she looked around sheepishly. “Er... I will personally pay for all the damages...” she said, grinning weakly. The conspirators tried to flee, but she held them in place with her magic.
Fancy scoffed. “I'd been thinking about remodeling anyway,” he said.
Celestia smiled. “Still...” She sighed, and turned to Luna. “Will you be all right?”
“From what I understand,” Luna said, coughing a little, “any injuries I received will reverse themselves upon restoration of my true form.”
“That's good,” Celestia said, nuzzling her. “What of them?”
Luna scowled. “They have assaulted eighteen non-ponies, blanking their memories and planting a hypnotic suggestion not to come back to Canterlot. We must find out who they are and undo the memory charm so that these miscreants can be properly prosecuted.”
Celestia sneered at the conspirators, who were already yelling at each other, each blaming the other for their failure. “I'm sure one of them can be convinced to talk,” she said.
Luna sighed. “There is also much to talk about related to Canterlot itself,” she said. “While I was traveling, before the incident, I was denied service at several high end stores that normally welcomed me.”
Celestia frowned. “We'll look into it,” she said. “For now, though, let us get LOYAL guards in here to arrest this scum.” Her horn flared, casting a flare out through one of the windows which rocketed into the sky.
Luna smiled at Fancy and Fleur. “Thank you for protecting me,” she said gratefully.
Fleur and Fancy bowed. “Our pleasure, your highnesses,” Fancy said. “Although I do confess a bit of curiosity...”
“Hm?” Luna asked.
“You said Discord changed you?” Fancy asked.
Luna nodded. “He has opened an entertainment business of sorts,” she said. “For a full twenty-four hours, you can be almost anything you want.”
Fancy looked thoughtful. “Most interesting... That certainly explains why Lady Rarity was a dragon... But really, that is most fascinating...”
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time: Fancy Pants transforms!
nice work.
Christ on a bike, that ending was satisfying to watch!
Okay, that was dark compared with the previous chapters, but then again racism from any direction is never a pretty thing. Nice work.
oh, wow. this was... interesting. a really good chapter, with great reasoning behind the transformation. I do hope we can return to the mane 6 soon, since there are a few that you haven't gotten to, but this was well worth reading. wish something like this could be done in the real world.
aaaaand now I just thought of a scene from the movie machete where they dress a racist politician up as an illegal immigrant, throw him across the mexico border, and when her tries to come back he gets shot by his own racist supporters.
“Recently, my thestrals discovered and dismantled a pony trafficking ring.
Is it too much to ask for, that we be allowed to imagine a better world?
Can we hear about their punishment in the next chapter?
My god...that Tia is scary...
8147882 Fiery rage is so season 1.
8147891
SO?!?!? Would you really want to make her that mad?
8147895 vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/onepunchman/images/f/f4/Mosquito_Girl%27s_other_evil_grin.png/revision/latest?cb=20151018013256
I enjoyed this. Also, it looks like Fancy is gonna be a mare next chapter. 57% have voted for that.
Jeez, this got really dark real fast. If you're going to have more chapters like it you should think about adding the "dark" tag.
8147943 I don't know what the story will be until the voting is done.
8147936 static1.e621.net/data/17/ee/17ee6059bd5e979f82b5bb63d04a8179.png
8147882 static1.e621.net/data/a5/7e/a57e7a4c9a7449be7dac2e0bb901cf68.png
Well that was an entertaining chapter, and very creative.
As for Fancy Pants... It's kind of hard to pick one for him. To me, he seems like a stallion who is very comfortable with who he is and would have little interest in taking another form.
Oh, Canterlot's getting better. Restaurant Row no longer serves the same miniscule crap at every shop, for one, but it's slow going.
Seriously, I'll keep saying this till the day I die. An all powerful food critic whose word can make or break a restaurant who loves food that everyone else hates with a passion? I truly and sincerely think that is utterly insane on the writer's part. Ego in the pixar film had insanely high standards, but at least we get on the idea WHY people consider his word. This lady? No one on the planet remotely agrees with her, a critic who praised stuff others hated would never gain any following to form any sort of social clout. Let alone one where she metaphorically owns Canterlot's dinner district!
Didn't ponies embracing racism summon a horde of ice demons last time?
So when is Luna gonna publish 'Striped Like Me?'
Why does this attitude even exist?
The three tribes spent an age with knives to each other's throats. Ponies and dragons fought a WAR.
The ponies of Ponyville didn't even know what a zebra WAS. (Pinkie Pie had to be told what was a griffin was!)
And donkeys attend the friggin' Grand Galloping Gala.
Jet Set smirked. “Stupidretardsayswhat?” he said quickly.
“What?” Luna asked, confused.
Well, that ruins the 'what' joke forever.
Ugh. Upper Crust and Jet Set are classist (and Blueblood for that matter), that's not the same thing as racist. Get it right.
Classism was rampant before the enlightenment, which happened to overlap with the age of exploration, where all these 'strange people' were met for the first time, and resulted in a shift to racism.
“It's our duty to keep Canterlot's streets free of filth.”
Again. Is it truly that much of a SIN to imagine a better world, without having it shot down as an absurd Mary Sue Land?
' A simple memory charm, and you won't even remember our faces. We'll dump you off at the hospital, with a suggestion planted in you not to ever come back to Canterlot. '
And people wonder why I think SMILE is evil for wiping ponies' memories to keep them docile and ignorant of the monsters that want to eat them?
And given what painfully ignorant types Jetset and Uppercrust ARE that they had no clue who the Elements of Harmony were who saved Equestria twice at the time, wouldn't they have pulled this trick on the Ponyville ponies and stepped in a hornet's nest?
And there's Turnip Truck, who is a COUNTRY BUMPKIN who managed to become a fancy suit business owner.
Luna turned, and saw Fancy Pants and his wife, Fleur Dis Lee, in a nearby carriage.
I'd say Jetset and Uppercrust in disguise, but they're so arrogant it makes no sense they'd make this trap. Or prepare for it.
She can't be trusted.
WHY?! I get the parallels on the evils of racism that continue to fester 50 years after the civil rights movement, but there needs to be some justification in universe.
Luna grinned. “Never seen someone teleport that fast before...” she said.
Luna grinned. “Never seen somepony teleport that fast before...” she said.
BTW? May I vote? Sweetie Belle as a siren. Seeing if she can peacefully assimilate negativity without gorging.
Celestia turned, her eyes glowing black. Her mane and tail lost all color, becoming swirling black voids that twisted inward. Light seemed to be absorbed into her as he glared at Jet Set and his minions with star-crushing rage.
I figured her mane would turn blue as she heated up.
And to be honest? I was waiting up for TWILIGHT SPARKLE to become a zebra, she could learn that unicorn magic isn't the only magic in the world.
you're late. As punishment you shall put the word "xylophone" in your next chapter
You know, I would find it interesting if, with Luna's investigations into Tribalism and Racism in Canterlot if her and Celestia decided to pay Discord to turn those responsible for it all into other races for a period of time. What better fitting punishment could there before for most of them than to maybe be stuck as a particular race they hate the most. And for the ones who are being extra terrible to changelings get to spend a day as a changeling with no access to any love to see just how terrible it was for them to be constantly starved and hungry.
Also, with how down to Earth and reasonable Fancy Pants is, I have to vote Earth Pony even if it isn't going to win.
If I may make a Suggestion? If Genderswap wins, have both Fancy and his wife do said swap at the same time.
Oh man seeing Celestia like that would scare the crap out of me. I hope jet set and upper crust pay for their crimes in the dungeons.
I had to read it a second time. It's not often you see Celestia simultaneously Go mother hen, AND blow shit the crap up.
An idea. Seeing the option leading the polls, you should add an option for it to be combined with the leading species change.
Ahh yes the anti Tia. Blackhole sun.
I would be quite happy to learn what became of the guard, jet set, and upper crust.
8148191 agreed also the corrupt guards.
8148181
It's scientifically impossible for her to make it worse.
8148086
Agreed.
Though to be honest? I think Equestria is a MATRIARCHAL society, not a patriarchal society.
What does that mean ?
You have to be a unicorn ?
or have a family that is known ?
p.s. Can he get a GenderSwap and be a earth-pony ?
Again, special request, Tatzl-pony.
TATZLPANTS!!!
8147864 What do you mean ?
8133041 What do you mean by TF2 ?
8133073
some one make that into a story !
8147942 maybe a Earth-mare !
8147990
it's called Canada !
me 2 !
8148004 Do it, do it !
8148018 Earth-mare !?
8148086 Do it !
8148096 Or have Discord change them !
8148131 He shod !
8148191 8148203 They got changed into what they hate !
8148208 That what I said about Trump.
but yet, he proved me wrong
8148209 and that changed what ?
8148278
Let's NOT bring politics into this!
And I mean that I think Equestria has enough flaws already that writers don't need to invent or insert NEW ONES.
I want to see Blueblood walk up to the booth, cloaked and tentative, requesting to be something really exotic like it's a desire he's really guilty about having. Tatzleworm, changeling, donkey, or dragon would be fun.
Fair enough.
Naturally.
Eh, better than no progress.
Dick.
Bigger dick.
Good to know there's someone who's at least somewhat decent in this city.
Not too bright, are you?
You realize if Celestia gets wind of this, being fired is your best case scenario.
Really? Really?
True, but Genre Blind villains like this make the life of those who are actually Genre Savvy easier to some extent.
Minor nitpick, mare, not woman, also, she's REALLY not.
You realize that this is probably not the first time someone's tried this and failed, right?
Agreed. If memory served, back when nobility was originally a thing, it was given to those who'd EARNED the title, not something hereditary.
True, but still funny.
Ah.
If you have any sense in your head, you will RUN LIKE HELL, find a time travel thing, and convince your past self to NOT pull this stunt and NEVER try to pull it again.
When a star collapses, it can become a black hole...
You're not helping your case.
He even went through the paperwork and everything.
Genderswap with Fluer doing the same.
What? They're married, so why wouldn't they do it as a couple?
No I have no sick and twisted ulterior motives.
Not gonna lie... I am disappointed. Specifically that you failed to use the classic historical quote, "I shall dine woth whomever I please." Other than that... nicely done.
*Starts humming*
... wash away the rain...
Not sure if the poll will stay that way, but with what the top vote is, perhaps the top two for the next one?
I'm just being hopeful thought and I know it.
8148268
I would also like to see a tatzlpony somewhere in here.
Thank you for not having Luna rhyme for no reason.
I find the idea of Canterlotters clinging to "old ways" a little absurd when they've been Tia's town for centuries. I acknowledge that there does seem to be a higher unicorn population there than other places, but still, if Celestia is trying to sway them, she's largely failed for dozens of generations.
Luna's own monologue could've waited. Or not been said at all.
Credit to Fancy, that is the correct answer to the question of princess posterior pulchritude preferences.
So... the sisters are going out often enough that the nobles canrecognize their disguises, but they're still spending so much time in their castle that they've become disconnected from their people. Okay then.
Gravitia is awesome in every sense of the word.
In all, this one felt a little forced. It would be nice to see literally any other zebras on the show, but this felt ham-handed in its delivery, especially with two of Fancy's greatest sycophants becoming brutalizing caricatures of bigotry. Still, looking forward to more.
I never thought I could hate Jet Set and Upper Crust more than I already do.
I don't quite hate them here as much as Spoiled Rich, but that's not saying much.
I absolutely love how you cleanly stitch each chapter together, instead of just making short one shots.
I also think you are a genius at weaving each characters motivations to make sense.
I agree with the comments on the polling site : multiple options and modifications would open up a whole new realm of possibilities, BUT only if it won't stress YOU out, I don't want to be responsible for turning this story into a chore.
Maybe you could allow the new options, but increase the times between chapter posting to allow yourself more breathing room???
New options or not, please keep up the amazing work!!!
I get the feeling Twilight is going to try Discord's service last.
8149430 I wonder what Button Mash would ask to be?
Wow ... did this take a turn towards the dark side!
So, too soon to add this to the 'Fantastic Racism' section of TVTropes?
8149430 Twilight Sparkle will be the absolute LAST person to try Discord's services, and as such will be the last chapter of the story.
How didn't bat pony win?
JUSTICE.
8149537 You could always add to the TV Tropes page that someone created for this story.