• Member Since 24th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

TheWolfSpartanBrony


There are only so many cards life hands out, you just have to run with the ones you got and hope for the best.

Comments ( 13 )

Grammar. Spelling. Structure. Proofreading.

That is all.

Add your standard dose of turbulent grammar, spelling, structure, and proofreading.

As if that wasn't unstable enough, add a dose of self-insert and a random crossover.

It's a piece of cake to bake a dangerous story.

I don't think you realize how difficult this type of story is, given how you're still a beginner and readers' reactions to your work are mixed. At the VERY LEAST, before tackling something like this, I would highly advise you find an editor at the Looking For Editors group. Otherwise you're diving flank-first into danger, and that's not something I would recommend rookies to do.

All I need to do to get some tig ol' bitties is die?

Well shit where's my noose?

Your summary was like all over the place. A good summary should add a little mystery and a hook.

This story was all over the place. I'll just leave it at that. :facehoof:

absolutely disgusting

Location: Downtown Huston, Texas

Huston, Texas. Huston, Texas...

I have no words.

Your OC is another bland chump with no qualities to differentiate himself from the legion of nobodies this site has seen.
I'm sorry, but I have to add to that red bar.

I don't know much, but I do know that this story isn't good.

The story was everywhere and do some research. Downtown Houston, Texas. I know there's a downtown, but that's something that not crucial to the story and very specific in an unnecessary way. And I felt you rushed it and making Mike have that kind of armor.

I'll be honest a combination of all three is a good idea, but I would advice you stick to one set of armor instead of putting different kinds into one. The weapons I actually see that makes sense. If you had him/her have all three armor types then I see no wrong with that just never and I mean never put each faction armor into one.

Besides all of those errors, this story does have potential so I do hope you fix this up.

>>Wayward Shadow well that would be telling but, here is the title for the next chapter. Of a new life and where Mike meets the main six, but that won't be out soon for I have some other projects that I am working on. Some of them will be the start of some new adventures and continuing the tale of The Ghost of a Man. Though I will be reworking Just Perfect.

You should put more commas, like seriously. There are entire paragraphs without them.

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