• Published 5th Mar 2017
  • 3,359 Views, 227 Comments

Princess Flurry Heart Versus the Mud Monsters - kudzuhaiku



To save Ponyville, Flurry Heart may have to destroy it.

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Quick, sing carols!

With her aunt, her sorcerer, and her friends by her side, there was nothing that she couldn’t do, and Flurry felt empowered. It was difficult to fly, the dust coating her wings did something to her, it was like the air didn’t want to move around her wings. It was an odd condition, as Megara didn’t seem affected at all. Of course, Megara had very different wings than Flurry did.

She thought about what her teacher, Sunburst, was fond of saying: Celebrate differences.

Things were looking pretty grim. Other giant mud monsters could been seen and they were lumbering over to where the big muddy poo monster was. Flurry knew that when they got together, they would merge, and become an even bigger monster. Some had very distinct looks, and one that approached seemed to be made out of garbage or compost. Maybe garbage and compost. Whatever it was, it would merge with the poo monster to become something super-grody.

Overhead, a storm swirled, and Flurry felt her power growing as the storm gained intensity. She and the storm were connected in ways she did not understand. Tarnished Teapot, Hero of the Realm and Heliophant of the Druids, had tried to help her explore her talents, but as it turns out, he didn’t know very much about it either. They had summoned quite a storm together though, and Mommy had freaked out a bit, but it was okay because she and Tarnish were on an island off of Equestria’s coast and the storm stayed on the ocean.

As Twilight and Trixie were blasting chunks off of the mud monster to keep it busy, Flurry circled and let her power build. Everypony seemed safe enough and with Twilight here, nothing could go wrong. Of course, Flurry was battered, bloody, and still bleeding from too many places to list, but it would be okay. This would soon be over.

“I’m not having a good time!”

The voice was too familiar and Flurry began to look about.

“Oh, come on Sunburst, this has been a wonderful date!”

“I didn’t come to Ponyville to fight mud monsters!”

“No, I suppose you didn’t. You came to Ponyville with Flurry Heart with the hopes of snogging me when and if you had some free time.” Shrill laughter echoed between the houses, some ruined, some still standing.

“No, I didn’t come with the hopes of just snogging you, either.”

“Oh, that hurts, Sunny, that hurts!”

Even the muddy poo monster seemed curious about this development, and it paused to listen. With a distinct lull in the action, Twilight ceased firing and took a breather. Trixie recast her shield spell and began to super-charge her horn, which glowed with a frightening intensity. When she let go, it would be a doosie.

“Glimmy, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Well, how did you mean it?”

The two unicorns came into view, covered in mud and filthy. Sunburst’s glasses were crooked and his cape was encrusted with grossness. Starlight Glimmer had a bit of dance in her prance, even though she looked rather upset at the moment. Flurry was used to this, as these two were always arguing when they got together, and then there would be lots of slurpy make up kisses.

“Glimmy, I came to Ponyville to ask you a very important question—”

“Yes?” Starlight paused, midstep.

“And I wanted everything to be perfect when I asked this question and the mud monsters just sort of ruined everything and now, I just don’t know. This is really hard for me.”

The hulking excremental hunched over and looked at the couple whilst they stared at one another. A bit of sweet yellow corn dribbled from the corner of two black tarry eyes that had formed in its disgusting, claggy face. Olive was now hugging Pebble, and both fillies eyes shimmered with warm, feminine emotion.

“Well, go on, ask me your question,” Starlight Glimmer demanded and she pressed her muddy muzzle against Sunburst’s.

Flurry’s heart now felt soft and squishy—she didn’t care about her injuries, the goose-egg sized lump on the back of her skull, her dozens of lacerations, and her many bruises that would turn into varying shades of ugliness later. She just wanted her tutor to be happy, and everypony agreed, this was long overdue. Fate had conspired to keep the two lovers apart.

Well, fate and Flurry Heart herself. Sunburst had his job as her tutor, and she always felt such awful guilt. She didn’t know how this ended, or what might change, but she hoped that her tutor could be happy, because he deserved it. Sunburst had been her best friend for as long as Flurry could remember, going all the way to her hazy first memories as a yearling. He was family, he was a face seen every morning at the breakfast table, and he was always there for her, right along with Sleet, her nanny.

Whatever great romantic moment that was about to happen was not meant to be. The excremental had other, more horrible, more terrible, less romantic plans. It’s face contorted, changing shape, and it became a giant amorphous pair of muddy butt cheeks. With a gross gurgle, it squirted out a stream of filth with a flatulent florp and bombarded the two lovers having a tender moment.

Sunburst and Starlight Glimmer became two statues as the mud hardened like stone around them. Flurry let out an angry shriek, Megara roared, Boomer let out a much smaller, much squeakier roar, and Twilight charged up to attack. Trixie let go with her super-charged horn and the resulting blast blew a hole the size of a giant pumpkin in the chest area of the mud monster.

“RUDE!” Pebble cried as she assumed a more action ready stance than hugging Olive.

“I was emotionally invested in that!” Olive hollered as the mud monster began to reform after having an enormous smoking hole blown through its torso. Horn glowing, Olive began to lift chunks of rubble from around her, she did so without effort, without strain, and she began hurling it at at the claggy, smelly, horrendous excremental that had destroyed such a sweet, tender moment.

The flight cancelling dust in the air became too much for Rainbow Dash, and she began to spiral out of control. She fell, streaming out dust, dirt, and debris behind her as she plummeted to the ground, her wings too caked to fly, her magic suffocated. Trixie moved into place for rescue and caught Rainbow with ease before Rainbow picked up too much momentum to be managed.

The ground trembled as the other giant mud monsters approached and Flurry heard a distant roar. Turning her head, she saw a giant Spike over near the hospital, he was big, much, much bigger than he had been at breakfast. Twilight or somepony had embiggenated him with much hugeness and now, Spike was going nuts. Flurry’s keen alicorn eyes could see a tiny pearlescent unicorn with a pastel pink mane standing atop his head. The tiny little unicorn on Spike’s head was more terrifying than Spike would ever be, because Twinkleshine was just that sort of pony. Twinkleshine had overprotective-mommy-issues after giving up a part of her soul for Sumac, Flurry’s mama had said so.

At least the hospital was safe.


With the blizzard to draw power from, Flurry unleashed a bolt of cold. It slowed the mud monster, but did not freeze him. Trixie was working on freeing Starlight and Sunburst. Pebble and Olive worked together to make a distraction so that Trixie could work in relative safety. Starlight, for all of her power, couldn’t free herself from the magic sapping mud shell and Flurry knew that there would be words later, words that she wasn’t supposed to hear or know about. Awful words, words like Sumac might say if he lost his temper. At least Starlight’s words didn’t have magic to them.

Snow swirled all around them, big white fluffy flakes. The temperature was dropping and Flurry could feel herself growing strong, so very strong. She drew power from storms, so much power, and she could summon storms, gain power, summon a larger storm, gain more power, and keep doing this until something interesting happened. No one quite knew what might happen if Flurry kept doing this.

But Tarnish had said it would be neat, and Flurry was inclined to agree.

Gritting her teeth together, Flurry unleashed a beam of pure cryothurgical energy, raw elemental cold, and parts of the great muddy poo monster hardened, went brittle, and crumbled away. It encouraged her and gave her hope, actually seeing damage. The temperature around her began to plummet and the winds grew fierce, making it difficult to fly.

“Flurry!” Sunburst’s voice was magically amplified so he could be heard over the storm. “Think of ice cream! Think of all those times you made ice cream! That’s how your mother and I figured out how to teach you to use your powers in a safe way!”

Oh! Flurry, realising that she had once again been outsmarted by her own mother, gave a moment of thought to what she was doing. The poo monster wasn’t too different from ice cream, or sorbet, or frozen desserts. It was solids of various types, and liquids. It was just super-gross and not a frozen treat one would want to eat. All this time, her mother had been teaching her to use her storm powers… Flurry felt kind of dumb, but that was okay, because she was kind of dumb and she knew it. She had a lot to learn.

No more dangerous beam attacks, no more shooting willy-nilly. It was ice cream time. She needed to focus her power and radiate cold from within the mud monster. She had to freeze its heart, its core. The burning, freezing touch of winter had to consume it from within, just like when she made ice cream or frozen custard.

Flurry’s wings ceased flapping as she was overcome by her own magic. She remained suspended in the air, consumed by the power of the storm. Lightning crackled around her and static could be seen along her wings. A bubble of blue freezing mist formed around her and she could feel herself becoming at one with the storm.

Below, the mud monsters converged and began slapping their bellies together like great, fat diamond dog sumo wrestlers. The wet, muddy slaps made thunderous sounds, but Flurry’s thunder was far, far louder. Trixie had formed a powerful triple-thick shield all around her and had pulled the little ones to her side. Olive, Pebble, Sumac, Boomer, and Megara were all pressed up against her legs. Starlight had Sunburst shielded, and Rainbow Dash as well.

There was an ominous crackle as Flurry began to draw from her other source of power, love. The special love that happened during winter, the coldest months, when ponies came together to snuggle, to be cosy together. There was no word for this in modern times, but the ancient tongues made mention of it. Hygge. Cosy love, togetherness, the special love of home, hearth, and family when winter was at its coldest and most bitter. Flurry could feel it, just a trickle of it, coming from Trixie and the foals gathered around her. There was a need to cuddle, to snuggle, to be warm together.

Warm crackling fires, big, fluffy blankets, hot cocoa, delicious winter treats, Hygge. This special love, this wonderful, magical, cosy love, had brought Hearthfire into the world. Flurry blinked and when her eyes opened, they were glowing white with power. She was the gathering storm and the feeling of cosy love that came with it. As the temperatures around her plummeted, she felt the closeness, the love of the ponies around her grow stronger, and this gave Flurry Heart strength.

“I need you to sing Hearth’s Warming Eve carols,” Flurry commanded in a booming voice that seemed far too large and far too powerful to have come from a filly.

“While we’re fighting mud monsters?” Starlight asked.

“YES!” Flurry replied, and her voice was like a thundercrack.

It was Sumac who started to sing, the first to answer Flurry’s call. “As dawn shines on us every morn…”

Lifting her head, Megara joined in, adding her unique voice to the song. “The fire of friendship is reborn!”

Boomer, who had a surprisingly good voice, joined in. “And all the friendships we have made…”

Rising into a bipedal stance and pulling Sumac close to her, Pebble’s voice joined the choir. “We cherish in every way!”

All together, the gathered ponies began to sing, “Loyalty binds us and makes us strong, honesty shows that we belong, and kindness shared will unite us through each day!”

Lost in her magic, Flurry didn’t hear the rest. She was thoroughly consumed by Hygge, the cosy love that comes with the storm. She was Flurry Heart, the almost paradoxical love powered by winter’s cruel, freezing touch. There was no confusion, no fear, no doubt, no hesitation. Flurry’s horn grew by almost an inch as the special magic of winter love consumed her body.

There was a thunderous crackle as Flurry Heart’s true power began to manifest…

Author's Note:

Here we go...