• Published 25th Feb 2017
  • 1,741 Views, 16 Comments

Midnight Nightmares - Silver Inkwell



Twilight keeps having nightmares about Midnight, but can she overcome them with the help of her friends, or will she fall under the power and control of her dark side instead?

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One

I remember a time that it used to be so simple…

The whole entire world was just a place that I understood…

But now it’s not, not anymore at least.

Ever since I’ve ever seen magic, ever since my counterpart came through the portal things have been a little bit different around here I guess.

I don’t tell anyone else about it, but I keep having these nightmares…

Nightmares of my monster self, the side of me that I really don’t want to be….

She’s a monster, and I’m not, she’s the side of me that I’m going to be trying to remove from myself permanently. And I know that no matter what happens at least I’ll have my friends here to help me if I ask. But I just can’t, I can’t let them ever see this darkness deep down somewhere inside of me, for within lies shadow and darkness, within me there lies what I call my Midnight.

It’s easier to deal with my problems that way, separate myself, pretend I was a completely different person then, yeah, it sure does make it a whole lot easier for me, but the pain… it’s still there… no matter what I try to do or how hard I do it, well, it still remains, Midnight still remains, the past haunts me now.

I hear echoes, voices in my mind, hers, yet also somehow still mine, and yet I know that it’s not, it’s not hers, it’s not mine, it’s ours.

We cannot be separated, we cannot and shall not ever be torn apart again.

No, she’s speaking inside of my head again, she’s trying to take control again.

Can I stop her? Yes, this time, but with a cold cruel laugh she says that someday she’ll win, that someday she’ll have her revenge and take control of me because we were now as two sides of a coin, joined together and something that never could be torn apart or separated, something based upon a mutual bond and understanding, something that would always hide and lurk in the back of my mind no matter what I tried to do or whatever happened to me instead. Suddenly I heard the very calm, soft, gentle and kind words of my best friend Sunset Shimmer who was sitting beside me. “Twilight,” she said looking straight into my eyes, “Are you okay? You seem a little bit off today.”

“Yeah, I’m just perfectly fine,” I said.

“Really? Because you were mumbling and moaning in your sleep.”

“Yeah, you were all like ‘No Please!!!’ and ‘No Stop It!!!’ and-.”

“Pinkie Pie, that’s quite enough from you,” Sunset said.

“Oh, alright,” she said plopping back down on her seat.

“How much longer until Camp Everfree?”

“A few more minutes, you’re lucky, I had to deal with the crazy ones.”

I laughed, “Yeah, Pinkie Pie is pretty crazy.”

“Yeah, well I just hope that we can enjoy our time at camp…”

“Yeah, me too…”

We got to camp safely, met Gloriosa Daisy and her brother Timber Spruce who seem pretty nice, but as for the brother, well I actually think that he’s pretty cute, and Sunset is definitely picking up on that, and I pretend to let her think that she’s so much smarter at me with love because it’s just what I do.

Settling in was very nice, but then I could suddenly levitate objects without even thinking about it, and it was so weird and strange, but Sunset just said that it was amazing and brilliant and awesome and that I should try to train my powers, but if I do that and take her advice then that just might give the chance and opportunity for Midnight to get free, so I can’t do that.

After a while things did calm down, the other girls started to discover their own powers, and I decided to sing a tiny little small song to myself, it was quite refreshing and relaxing, very much so indeed, it did quite a lot for me.

Things are going very well with Timber, quite well indeed.

Things with Midnight however, well they still remain the same.

Sunset found out her powers and knows that I fear Midnight, she tried to help me out, but she still doesn’t fully understand, not yet. She says that she does, I believe her, after all, for what possible reason and purpose would she ever lie to me especially since she’s such a good friend of mine?

I half expected some villain to show up, but nope, not this time, rather I learned that Gloriosa did have some financial problems beforehand but had quickly solved them with some strange mysterious gems that she had found.

She said that she had the idea to host something here at the camp to raise enough money to save it, what a brilliant and splendid idea.

I mean I almost expected her to turn into some crazy insane demon thing and try saving the camp with all these plant powers and also sing about it too as well. And that’s another thing here as well, singing is just way too common.

Well, there was no fight and no battle this time, the camp has raised enough money to be saved and I almost got the chance and opportunity to kiss Timber.

However, it was ruined and blocked by his sister instead.

However, he did promise to call me on my cell phone when the time was right, if it was right. Sunset is worried about where the magic that hit the gems come from since Gloriosa gave them to us of her own free will, but I’m not worried about that right now, for now I’m just worried about Midnight getting free.

We’re going to be going home tomorrow, so this is the last night that we get to spend at Camp Everfree, one last time, chance and opportunity to spend some time with Timber Spruce again. So I did, it didn’t work out very well as I had hoped, but it also went much better than what I could’ve expected.

He said that we should just stay friends for now, that would be nice.

I said that I wanted more, he said to have patience instead.

Huh, that was not something I ever expected him to hear ever since he tried to kiss me, but then again, maybe he was just impatient and curious then, he could’ve come to his senses and reasoned with himself, lots of people do that.

Anyhow we’re on the bus home right now, and I’m just taking some time to write down exactly what happened before I forget it, but until next time I have something to say I look forward to writing in you again my dear journal.

Sunset and the others all got home just in time before night fell.

“I’m tired, I’m going off to bed now, but are you sure that you’ll be fine in your own room all alone? I could stay with you if you wanted to.”

“No thanks,” Twilight said, “I’d rather be alone right now.”

“Okay then, fine, alright take all the time that you need to think.”


And with that said Sunset left to her own room, and so did Twilight too as well, and they both fell asleep very quickly. But then suddenly during the middle of the night Sunset woke up to Twilight’s scream. Instantly she bolted up out of her bed and locked at the clock to see what time it was just in case…


It was midnight, or rather slightly after it as time was going on right now.

Sunset quickly got up and went to Twilight’s room hoping for the very best but expecting the very worst. Oh, please don’t let her be dead, she thought to herself with great fear as she opened the door and stepped in very nervously expecting an attack at any moment. “Twilight?” she said, “Are you okay? I heard you scream, I was wondering if you needed me or something like that…”

“I’m alright,” Twilight said standing directly in front of Sunset Shimmer with her back turned away from her, but because of the very thick curtains it was hard to tell exactly where she was and only her voice gave any kind or sort of hint and clue. “Oh, thank goodness, I was worried there for a second, I thought that you might be dead, or even worse, gone,” Sunset said.

“So not having me around is worse than me dying?”

“Well yes, I don’t know why, but I just can’t live without you.”

“Then why didn’t you try bothering me earlier about this then?”

“I don’t know, I just thought you might not accept my love for you since you were already dealing with so much with your magic and Midnight.”

“Yes, I was, but not anymore, not any longer at the very least.”

And with that said Twilight slowly turned around and opened her eyes.

Around her eyes were blue flames, just like Midnight Sparkle…

Suddenly she spread her wings out.

“You see, I am Midnight Sparkle, I removed Twilight from my mind, she probably can’t even hear you right now, and even if she could you should probably tell her anything else that you might want before it’s too late.”

“Alright, fine then, Twilight, I will always love you for exactly who you are no matter what form or shape you take, so fight Midnight?”

Midnight smiled, “She can’t, not anymore, not any longer at the very least, because guess what, after all this time I finally win, and now you have lost.”

And with that said she suddenly blew a hole in the house, flapped her wings and took off in the night ready to unleash her magic to understand and gain control and knowledge of Equestrian magic instead, and so she flew up past the moon casting a shadow over it and letting the nightmare take hold.

Author's Note:

Want more? Please say so down in the comments below!!!

(I plan only up until 12 though, no more)

Comments ( 16 )

I, at the very least want to see more of this

7976581
Thank you for the Fave

Now then, will you please ask me why 12 chapters, go ahead, go right now.

7976585 Well I am curious as to why twelve was decided on

7976590
Very good then...
It's twelve for a very specific reason, I won't say why exactly...
But think about her name...
Good.
Now think about the hours on a clock...
Good.
By now you're probably wondering how they're related/connected.
Just you wait...
I mean, the clue and hint should be in time somewhere...
Or rather a clock instead...
(I would rather leave the audience make their own conclusions on the number 12)

RB_

7976594
Alright, so fair warning, I haven't read the chapter yet, but...
It's a countdown (countup?) to midnight. 1:00, 2:00... 12:00. Midnight.
'Cause she's Midnight Sparkle.

And now that I have read the chapter...
Are you aware that your POV shifts from first person to third person towards the end of the chapter? Completely unprompted? In a very poorly conveyed manner, so it just looks like a mistake on your first readthrough?
Because it does, and it's really jarring.
Like, I get that it's going from a journal entry to narration? But for pony's sake, at the very least put in a line break.
And I was going to leave it at that, but you've gone offline and I'm bored, and I kinda like you, kiddo. (Oh, it's RB, by the way. 'Ello!) So, here's another thing:
People don't usually record entire conversations, verbatim, in journals.

RB_

Actually, screw it. I'm still bored, and writing isn't going well, so you get more advice. Lucky you.
So, in just your first 200 words, you've already got six ellipses. Ellipses tend to lose all meaning when you overuse them.
Also, might just be me (probably not, though), but your dialogue is incredibly stiff. Lots and lots of commas. Too many, even. Like, here's an example:

She can’t, not anymore, not any longer at the very least, because guess what, after all this time I finally win, and now you have lost."

Vs. something like, say,

"She can't, not anymore! Because guess what? After all this time, I finally win!"

maybe.
Also, 'not anymore, not any longer at least' is super redundant, now that I look at it. And you've used it more than once.
And on the topic of dialogue, this line:

“Alright, fine then, Twilight, I will always love you for exactly who you are no matter what form or shape you take, so fight Midnight?”

is a goddamn travesty. Why is it a question? Why is Sunset's response to Midnight's return so flaccid? She's just discovered that one of her, arguably her best, friends has been taken over by an evil entity, and possibly been erased from existence. And yet she doesn't even sound upset. She sounds calm, even!
But at this point I'm just rambling. Sorry for cluttering up your comment box.
Have a pleasant day, Mr. Allan.

7976613
Yes, exactly so my dear good sir.

7976821
Look, my first draft is always shit...
And I have no editors for this, okay?

RB_

7978632 Well, yeah. The first draft is always shit, no matter how good you are. The obvious answer to that, of course, is to not publish your first draft (a lesson I've learned the hard way).
I can't really talk about finding editors 'cause I self edit, but from what I've heard other people say, the best way to find editors is to either ask for help or to visit an editing group.

Hell, if you ever have, like, a one chapter thing you want someone to take a look at, you can drop me a line. I do that sort of thing every now and then. You have to promise to take the corrections and criticisms to heart, though—and don't make it your first draft.

7978632

And I have no editors for this, okay?

I have no editors

no editors

Wink wink, nudge nudge.

7978888
???
Do YOU WANT to edit FOR me?

7978894
If you would like an editor, then I would be happy to. And don't worry, I wouldn't forget to specify chapters this time :rainbowlaugh:.

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad is it ?

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