Luna comes to Twilight for help in learning about friendship. However, this leades to her falling in love with her sister's student. However, deep within her mind, Nightmare Moon is starting to crawl out again and with an approaching Solar Eclipse to aid in her growth of power, will Twilight be able to conquer Moon through her love or will the Nightmare be free and the night last forever?
Lives will be changed, Friendships will be tested, loves will be lost and when Nightmare rises, Equestria will never ever be the same.
This is my first story I am going to post on here. I have posted others stories before including My Little Pony. This one will be teen' related but a seperate series is to follow this one but with a seperate link and somewhat alternate chapters as well/
This could be good, i'll give it a read and edit this comment when I'm done.
Onward!
Edit: I'm not sure what to say, it was a good read, TwiLuna is always nice to read.
Do pardon my lack of feedback, but i couldn't find anything bad about it, and at the same time, nothing really Great about it.
It's a solid and good story, but nothing i haven't read before.
Faved, thumb'd up, i'll see where this goes.
Only thing I could see that needs editing was a break in the Point of view(Twilight turned her head and saw it, almost immediately l lit up.). And a couple of double words. Other than that, this is looking to be a great story. Thumbed up and faved
Nice story. I always imagined Nightmare Moon to be a sort of spirit that possessed Luna or something...
I for now await more. I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
This can turn out to be great story. Do go on please!
you could use some editing, and to be honest i think it'd be nice if you gave some sort of different text style to Nightmare Moon or whatever that voice is to help differentiate.
Otherwise keep doing what you're doing.
ahh nice story...why couldnt they have made-out when Twilight left to fall asleep?
Hey, I got a fun game for everyone.
Find the missing capital letter on Twlight (it's on another word that doesn't need a capital)
I like the idea of this story, but I cannot bring myself to finish it. The writing is very stilted and awkward, which made reading it unpleasant. I'd recommend that you get an editor.
Despite the flaws that require some editing here and there, the story does manage to set the mood well as of this point. And honestly, even with the awkward dialogue, the conversation between Twilight and Luna felt very natural and managed to flow after a while, especially how it maintains the mood. So as others have pointed out, it'd be good to get some editing work on this piece, but please continue if you can.
Couple of errors here and there-
Ch1-
>watching the sleeping form of Twilight rise and fall. Her snoring was none existence and her breathing was ever so silent.
non-existent
>Another sleeping form was there and that was of the baby dragon, Spike. His snoring was loader
louder
Wow this is getting interesting.. Hmm looking forward to next chapters :)
Oh boy, new TwiLuna fic. Please let this be good.
3862729 I will try my best!
3862729 BOO FUCK YOU.
BOOO FUCK TWILLUNA! TWILESTIA FTW. TWILUNA SUCKS SO MUCH THAT NOT EVEN A BLACK HOLE COULD BE COMPARED TO IT!
4055313
i.imgur.com/NwfihfO.jpg
4055372 gamesprays.com/images/icons/keep-crying-baby-1882_preview.jpg
4055316 oh joy, a hater that thinks he/she is cool by cursing
4067001 Sometimes you gotta love the haters
4067001
4067571 Yeah seriously, TwiLuna is the worst possible pairing a sick fuck could think of.
4055316
Normally we ignore such silly comments, but what id like to point out to you is that never in the whole series, be it the Televised or original Comic is their even a hint at the relationship between Twilight and Celestia being any deeper than a Mother-Daughter relationship
So we ask, were does thou get the premise that one exists?
4141699 Same goes with TwiLuna, in fact, there absolutely no close relationship at ALL. The closest is acquaintance, that's its.
4142330
actually there is place for a possible relationship between the two though it would depend on neither finding a "special somepony" for its something that would take time, a good amount of it
4144266 And we can apply the same logic to TwiLestia.
4144275
In what way
Because in the case of Twiluna, Twilight is only one other than Celestia who showed no fear from her, thus shed feel a connection to her. Also add that of all the six Her and Twilight are on the best of terms, so where can the Logic be applied to Celestia and Twilight past Motherly Affection
4144486 Bullshit, you're mind is still stuck in Season 2. And what you said doesn't proves anything. Pip also didn't show any fear and even said Luna is his favorite princess.
Also, what's the difference between a pizza and what you said?
I asked for the pizza, not you.
Also:
4146396
When did Pizza get added into this conversation.
True your point is valid in reference to pip and if nothing happened between The Queen and Twilight, or any other pony, Then Pip and her could workout. In the End whatever happens between my Queen and others revolving around such personal matters are her business not ours.
Personally the few fics ive read between Pip and either Silver Spoon, or Twist though were quite adorable. So to each his own.
Now will you except that defeat is apparent for both sides or continue to skull drag this argument?
4147055 Okay.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/336/7/f/trixie_motivational_by_darkonshadows-d5mtl64.png
4387910 shell be vital to the story later
4517042 im having trouble with finding work and my stories but ill try
However, this leades to her falling in love with her sister's student.
*leads
I like the story hope to read more soon
The amount of mistakes in general, make this difficult to read at best. I'd suggest going back and making a few corrections.
Is this ever going to be continued?
4519603 so is this story dead...or what?
6010116 cryostasis
6010116 cryostasis
6010941 then maybe it would be a good idea to put the story as "hiatus" instead of incomplete
6011008 I have a chapter coming up soon.
6011913 hows the chapter coming?
6011913 any luck with the chapter?